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  • #582570
    Joanne Jackson
    Participant
    Registered On: May 26, 2020
    Topics: 3
    Replies: 163
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    So for Thanksgiving my wife outed me to my daughter. She handed a pair of my panties to my daughter and said, “are these yours?” And when my daughter said no, she said, “well they’re not mine!” And with only three of us in the house there was only one possible owner left. I said nothing as she handed me my panties which she knew all along were mine.
    She thought it was funny but i thought it was cruel.

    Next she drags me into Victoria’s Secrets to help her buy new bras (1st time ever). Nothing for me but she did laugh about the Thanksgiving outing again.

    Then tonight she asks to borrow one of my night dresses. She’s wearing it now. Strange days indeed.

    I recently made an appointment to begin hormone therapy, maybe that touched a nerve? I don’t know. Anyone ever experienced a weird wife behavior like this before?

    I are sore corn-fuzzed (confused) by it.
    Happy about the hormones but corn-fuzzed by the wife’s erratic behavior.

    -joanne

Viewing 15 reply threads
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    • #582879
      patty williams
      Hostess
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
      Topics: 85
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      HI Joanne,

      I can understand your wife not being happy but I find that very cruel and uncalled for to drag your daughter into it that way ,and not very respectful of your feelings your Father daughter relationship

      Did you talk to her before starting HRT?

      I hope you all can work things out

      Huggs Patty

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #582705
      Raquel Smith
      Lady
      Registered On: August 26, 2021
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 561
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      So sorry, Joanne. Maybe it’s a phase, maybe she just isn’t ready for a drastic change. Either way, it could have been handled differently. She should have discussed your coming out to your daughter.

      Like I said, I’m sorry for you. 😢 I don’t know how I’d take it.

      Best wishes for your future.

      Much love,
      Raquel

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #582677
      JillianW
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 13, 2019
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 328
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      Hi Joanne,

      It sounds to me as if your wife is the “passive aggressive” type who will not confront you directly but comes at you obliquely, without warning. I am very aware of the type. Your experiences sound like classic examples.

      My best guess is that you’re headed into a storm front so clear your decks, batten down the hatches and prepare for the worst.

      BTW, how did your daughter react, have you spoken to her since?

      Good Luck, keep us posted.

      Jillian

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #582684
        Joanne Jackson
        Lady
        Registered On: May 26, 2020
        Topics: 3
        Replies: 163
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        Thanks Jillian, i think you may be right so i am preparing for anything now. My daughter and i are close so i know we’ll survive the storm. -joanne

        2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #582688
          JillianW
          Duchess
          Registered On: October 13, 2019
          Topics: 9
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          She can be your biggest and best friend through this period, Joanne. Keep her close.

          Jillian

          1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #582668
      Connie Twirl
      Lady
      Registered On: August 18, 2021
      Topics: 16
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      Wrong to out you like that – humilating someone in front of family or friends is pretty low. Having said that, did you involve her in your decision to start hormones, or was it unilateral? If the latter, she’s fairly entitled to be a little pissed off – it is a bit of a game changer, no?

      Connie

      xxx

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #582665
      Roberta Broussard
      Baroness
      Registered On: July 20, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 204
      Has thanked: 2830 times
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      Its a shame that she allowed her anger to control her actions that way. Sounds like she was willing to throw your daughter as well as you under the bus.

      I think it was particularly uncaring and cruel to your daughter.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #582661
      Regine Kelly
      Princess
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 44
      Replies: 1470
      Has thanked: 20363 times
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      That was very cruel, of your wife, Joanne, Im sorry.
      I does sound as if she is very angry, bitter, about your dressing. I am curious, as well, how did your daughter react? Did you and your wife fully discuss your upcoming HRT, and did you listen to her opinions? I know myself, I do sometimes gloss over what my wife has to say, not on my dressing/transforming, but on other issues, and it usually comes back to bite me in the bum.
      I do think you need to talk to her, seriously, on this, and know, stormy weather could very well be ahead, be sure of what you want, my dear, and know your life jacket/line, is here
      Hugs, Regi👸💖

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #582653
      Anonymous
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      Joanne.

      I don’t know how old your daughter is and what her reaction was…or your situation with your wife.

      but I don’t think that was even remotely funny…..heartless, cruel and thoughtless…yes!!!

      Did she not think once of the way that could have affected your daughter???

      Hormone therapy may have tipped her over the edge, but these things need to be discussed rationally…. embarrassing you and possibly splitting up the family does not seem the way forward.

      Best wishes, grace x

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #582673
        Joanne Jackson
        Lady
        Registered On: May 26, 2020
        Topics: 3
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        Thanks Grace. My daughter, who is 25, seemed confused by it as it was completely out of the blue. She had to leave shortly after that and was still processing things. My wife can be impulsive but she’s known for over a year and had plenty of opportunities to out me and never acted. That’s why Thanksgiving was so hurtful.
        -joanne

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #582623
      Emily Alt
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: August 24, 2019
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 675
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      The passive aggressive behavior would be a red flag for me.  Maybe a phase.  Maybe not.  I’d keep close tabs on your interactions and be prepared for the worse.

      • #582676
        Joanne Jackson
        Lady
        Registered On: May 26, 2020
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        Thanks Emily, believe me, my spider sense is tingling. -joanne

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #582616
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
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      That was not a nice thing your wife did. That is something I would think my wife would do and that is why I’m afraid to bring up my dressing. How did your daughter take it?

      Hugs, Liara

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #582667
        Joanne Jackson
        Lady
        Registered On: May 26, 2020
        Topics: 3
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        Thanks Liara, my daughter seemed confused by it and was still processing it all when she had to leave (she lives over 500 miles away).

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #582609
      Vecca Senn
      Lady
      Registered On: February 22, 2021
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      Maybe she is just accepting it in the most limited but best way she can.

      • #582678
        Joanne Jackson
        Lady
        Registered On: May 26, 2020
        Topics: 3
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        Thanks Vecca, you may be right. My wife is not very articulate. There is a line in a John Prine song that describes my wife very well, “There were spaces between Donald and whatever he said”.
        The Prine line that describes me is, of course, “i am an old woman”.
        -joanne

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #582608
      Lara Tucker
      Lady
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 1
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      That was just evil.
      It sounds like she is angry with the hormone therapy. That is a step that might make it all seem more real to her. She might be thinking of the possible turmoil her life could be getting into. She could be dealing with some crazy scenarios in her mind of the future.
      sounds like there will be a lot for both of you to deal with. Maybe a counselor, or therapist could help?

      Best of luck, and hugs

      Lara

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #582606
      Abbie Normal
      Duchess
      Registered On: June 13, 2021
      Topics: 13
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      Oof, I haven’t had behaviour like that thankfully but am in my own world of pain at the moment with my SO. I hope things improve for you!

      — Abbie 🥰

      8 users thanked author for this post.
    • #582605
      Barb Wire
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: September 16, 2021
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 636
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      Oh, Joanne…

      I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. So I did both.

      I am SO sorry (no pun intended). If my SO did that to me… I think I’d just have a good cry!

      Actually, I had a positive experience recently with my SO. She put on a pair of her running tights only to feel a lump on her thigh. She reached down into her tights and pulled out a pair of black panties. She looked at them and asked who they belong to? So I said, “they aren’t mine, are they?” She laughed and had to look a the label, “No,” she says with a smile, “their a size small!”

      Hang in there.

      Hugs, Barb 🤗

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #582593
      Birel Galanodel
      Lady
      Registered On: May 3, 2020
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 338
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      Anyone outing anyone else against their wishes is not cool. 🙁 When we come out, and to whom we are comfortable doing so, should be up to us, not anyone else.

      I would try to have a conversation about this, and how it made you feel when she did that. It sure sounds like she is harboring some resentment that you need to work through as a couple.

      • #582680
        Joanne Jackson
        Lady
        Registered On: May 26, 2020
        Topics: 3
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        Thanks Birel, the plan was to officially come out to my daughtrr once the HRT was started. We are close and i know she’ll be supportive but the wife kind of messed that up a bit.
        -joanne

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #582582
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
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      Then again could just playing with you as little of teasing.  As for the hormones or HRT no big worries not going to happen over night takes alot time. Unless decide to do what I did is speed up the process and went into surgery.  Depending on how far will go.

      • #582620
        Vecca Senn
        Lady
        Registered On: February 22, 2021
        Topics: 8
        Replies: 201
        Has thanked: 1405 times
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        Donna, your perspective kinda rocks. I think many of us might do well to hear what your experiences have been.

        4 users thanked author for this post.
        • #582625
          Anonymous
          Topics: 0
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          vecca you referring to my HRT treatment or other. Knowing in past when was male and woman dated and such was always being played with a good way. As for HRT didn’t really see any noticable changes until around the 3rd month between that notice softer skin as well as smells and mental thought process. plus  lot more calmer then before.  Without knowing  other factors hard to say. on the wife. Speaking from my experience in past.

          Hugs Donna

          4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #582580
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 19
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      Has thanked: 4633 times
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      Some women are not confrontational but scheming and diabolical (no offense to GG’s) and from what you describe I think your wife is mad at you and poking the bear a bit. I would suggest you proceed with caution. May be stormy times ahead… or not… I don’t know your wife…. what do you think?

      8 users thanked author for this post.
      • #582602
        Barb Wire
        Duchess - Annual
        Registered On: September 16, 2021
        Topics: 14
        Replies: 636
        Has thanked: 3703 times
        Been thanked: 3367 times

        It took me over 2 minutes to read beyond your first line! HA HA!!

        😂 Barb

        3 users thanked author for this post.
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