- August 26, 2015 at 11:09 am #4251Millicent TeasedaleParticipantRegistered On: August 24, 2015Topics: 10Replies: 168Has thanked: 26 timesBeen thanked: 305 times
Very much like you, Vanessa, I fear meeting someone I know and being recognized. That is why I have only gone out when on vacation and in places where I am unlikely to meet people I know.
At the same time, for me it is not so much an issue of passing – at my height and weight and with my weak makeup skills that is unlikely – as it is a fear of not being myself. When I am dressed I am Millie it is important to me to own that – to be me, and Millie is me, just as much as my male persona is. So far I’ve had people look twice, one person come by for a second, closer look, and one comment. Otherwise, I’ve been just another person in the crowd – maybe a little different, but basically part of the scenery. And that’s fine with me. I’m not flamboyant in either of my personas and am not trying to be the center of attention.
The comment put it all in perspective – he said he wished he had the courage to wear what I was wearing. It was Halloween, so it sounded like a joke, but the way he said it made me think there might be something more to it.
So, it’s still a nervous time when I go out, but I just keep telling myself to be me, and not to worry. And then I have fun.
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- July 24, 2016 at 9:36 am #27111cdheavenRegistered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6485 times
Thats my biggest fear is running into someone I know and being ridiculed
- July 20, 2016 at 12:49 am #26804cdheavenRegistered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6485 times
Back home, my worst fear is bumping into someone I knew. I am a frequent traveller and like to dress up and venture into the public during most of the trips but avoid places that are not safe, my main fear is rape….
- July 1, 2016 at 3:15 pm #25700JessicaCross JohnsonDuchessRegistered On: August 25, 2015Topics: 1Replies: 38Has thanked: 65 timesBeen thanked: 115 times
I too had the fear of being recognized when I went out but I have started doing little things one at a time, I had my nails done in a town 25 miles west of where I lived, just a regular nail job. Then one day the Vietnamese girl who was doing my nails told me my job would last much longer if I got a gel job so I did, I have run the gamut of color even a bright pink and most of the people I meet somewhere when I go out to eat have started complimenting me on my nails and my toenails too since I’ve started getting them done also.
I had been using Lane Bryant, Roamans, Catherine’s and lately Torrid, over time I have had to take blouses, skirts, pants, shoes and other feminine items to the stores to exchange or send back. Finally two of the girls at Catherine’s came to me when I was swapping an item of clothing and told me I could try it on in the dressing rooms if not too many other patrons were in the store so I did and they helped me find the proper fit.
After that Torrid and Lane Bryant started letting me try on clothing and then one day Missy at Catherine’s offered to do my make-up after I had made myself look like a clown. Then one day at Ulta one of the make-up consultants offered me many tips on how to do my make-up and a few days later told me to come in one evening and let her do my make-up for me and a few days later I did. A group called Phoenix here in town is a group for gurls like me and I went to lunch with them and everybody didn’t think it was me.
Another great thing that has happened is that I sat down with my 39 yo daughter and explained I have been this way for all of my life and she said she had suspected a little before my wife died and that she accepted me as I was. Since then she has bought me a purse or two, lots of jewelry and a few pieces of clothing. She has even offered to go with me when I go to the luncheon some time when I try out some new clothes or make-up of something.
So I am really happy and would love to meet someone like me here in Asheville, NC, love y’all and keep up enjoying the way you are.
- June 24, 2016 at 6:27 am #25115AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 0Replies: 2Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 1 time
It use to be that someone would realize that I am a man and ridicule.
Recently I have been out several times either shopping or to a bar. In some cases individuals made no comment, in others people realized I was a man pretty quickly, Others did not realize I was a man until I opened my mouth (I have a rather deep masculine voice). I the majority of cases people were very pleasant, some even were particularly intrigued that I would Come into their place in a dress. So I have very little fear of being out, but I always do so at a distance from home because I am concerned about someone I know seeing me.
- June 7, 2016 at 5:34 pm #23753MacKenzie AlexandraAmbassadorRegistered On: May 20, 2016Topics: 44Replies: 522Has thanked: 126 timesBeen thanked: 1065 times
My biggest fear is inline with most, but is not quite the same. Being recognized in public alone does not scare me. It is the effect that it could have on my reputation and the reputation of those who are most dear to me.
- June 7, 2016 at 5:02 pm #23750Savannah SLadyRegistered On: May 30, 2016Topics: 0Replies: 4Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 2 times
Getting caught y some one I know. But other than that breaking down on the road . I have been out alot driving and walking at night . My confidence is getting better. But I am a big girl 6′ 9″ in heels so I stand out in or out of a crowd. Would really love to find a safe place to play. Have been out 3 halloween nights dressed with no fear after walked in the bar we frequent. Friends were in awe … nothing but amazement and a few complements by guys that made me feel like they wanted a little something more than a smile. And that was scary and exciting both at the same time. But am kinda worried about dressing as me year after year that they might see thru me
- May 11, 2016 at 5:43 pm #21481daniDuchessRegistered On: September 16, 2015Topics: 0Replies: 51Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 19 times
I really don’t care anymore. At 65 I dress and go out. If anyone has a problem it is their problem not mine. My friends all know and don’t care.If it is someone else that I know and they recognize me which is unlikely because I do look completely different and they have a problem, then they are not worth knowing and proceeding with a friendship.I have enough problems with getting my wife to understand and accept.
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- May 9, 2016 at 3:36 am #21373Patty PhoseDuchessRegistered On: May 7, 2016Topics: 0Replies: 1495Has thanked: 1088 timesBeen thanked: 3828 times
Running into some one I know well and having them recognize me.
- May 1, 2016 at 2:11 am #21048Evelyn SatterfieldLadyRegistered On: September 16, 2015Topics: 1Replies: 3Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
My worst fear is bumping into someone I know and them recognizing me. Considering that all the people I know aren’t tolerant of transgender people, I really need to be careful.
- April 21, 2016 at 11:18 am #20610Jesse Nicole(Smokey)DuchessRegistered On: February 5, 2016Topics: 4Replies: 65Has thanked: 23 timesBeen thanked: 26 times
<p style=”text-align: left;”>My fear is where I live…small town in Tennessee…not Cd/trans friendly..scared to death here. I will have to travel to feel safe!</p>
- April 17, 2016 at 7:12 am #20442DawnOdayLadyRegistered On: February 22, 2016Topics: 2Replies: 9Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 2 times
Having to punch some religious bas – tard because they think they have the right to tell me what to be. Ok so some parts of me won’t be ladylike. I think the Mormon Boys that come to my door to proselytize are more of a threat to society than a man that identifies as woman. Of course there are perverts that will take advantage of the situation. Just like clergy and their exemption from taxes.
- April 6, 2016 at 9:01 pm #20141April (Pacific Princess)Ambassador - EditorRegistered On: April 4, 2016Topics: 1Replies: 47Has thanked: 5 timesBeen thanked: 86 times
Since I live in a pretty small town my biggest fear is running into someone I know. I haven’t gone out dressed locally, but I am going down to Seattle (55 miles away) this weekend and going out dressed there. I’d love to be able to go out dressed from my house, but I don’t think that will be happening, especially since my wife is not really all that pleased with my crossdressing as it is.
- April 6, 2016 at 5:51 am #20111cdheavenRegistered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6485 times
For me, its twofold. The first fear is that someone I know will recognise me and secondly, the biggest fear I have, is that someone will try and pull me when I’m out dressed and try and get more than a little friendly with me.
- March 22, 2016 at 9:47 pm #19482Alexis RobertsLadyRegistered On: December 27, 2015Topics: 1Replies: 4Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 2 times
I fear one of my (few) ex Girlfriends….recognizing (I AM)…….someone wearing the EXACT same dress and heels that they (she) lost when we broke up and she moved out from me!….
- March 20, 2016 at 12:49 pm #19347Oriana BelindaLadyRegistered On: March 20, 2016Topics: 4Replies: 6Has thanked: 6 timesBeen thanked: 7 times
Wow! That was a terrifying experience. If it were me in my country, they would rape me for sure… or at least put they hands on me and make me to give a blowjob.
And they call themselves “machos”.
- February 15, 2016 at 9:48 am #17871Registered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6485 times
My biggest fear is getting caught going thru the TSA screening at the airport and it happened! I was dressed up under my business clothes with stockings and garter belt, panties, and a nice full support underwire bra. It felt great and nobody good tell. I was enjoying the feeling and the secret nobody else could see…. as I went thru the scanners to catch my flight it happened. It was one of the newer scanners that can see thru your clothes, and it detected the garter clips and the underwire bra. I was horrified as they asked me to first step aside for pat down. The guy comes up and says I need an additional check and starts to feel the key areas. The look on his face when he realized I was wearing a bra and something else was interesting enough, and then he said I would require additional screening. He called a Supervisor and they both led me to a private room. They asked me a lot of questions about where I was going and what I was wearing. I informed them that I was a CD and wearing woman’s undergarments. They laughed and told me I would have to strip to my underwear for further inspection. After some protesting I realized I was caught and had no choice and began to undress in front of them. Just as I removed my shirt exposing my Pink silky bra the door opens and a policeman steps in the room to view the inspection. All three guys are snickering at me. I am sure I was bright red in the face as I removed my pants revealing my stockings, garter belt, and pink satin panties. The cop said well don’t you look sexy. I was forced to stand and place my hands on the wall while the cop searched me. He quickly felt up the stockings, garter straps, and the back and front of my panties. I was then ordered to turn around and face them, he then cupped my breasts and felt them as well, including running his fingers in and around the straps. All of this was pretty scary, however my cock was not scared and became very excited as a result of the process. With all of the touching I was very erect and a small wet spot was growing in the front of my panties. The cop said I was clear. I was then allowed to get dressed and leave. I was so embarrassed (and excited) I had to go to the restroom to relive myself. I do not dress when traveling thru the airports any longer.
- February 11, 2016 at 2:33 am #17656Monika SweetLadyRegistered On: January 2, 2016Topics: 0Replies: 32Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 18 times
I have been married to an understanding wife who accepted my CDing and we had our pact that 1. I will not to be known to the kids, 2. I will not go out en-femme and cause emabarassment to the family.
Now, first one is still intact except for some random questions… Why you have so many shoes which you don’t wear (to my wife)… And secondly…. I do want to go out en-femme as I find it really exciting and fulfilling to experience the word as a woman. I have been out for short times in our upscale complex which are only a walk through the parking lots, common areas and sometimes a quick walk through the less crowded shopping areas.
We have a circle of friends in the same complex who are having conservative thoughts about GLBT… My fears to being caught by someone we know came true when I was traveling in the elevator fully dolled up and the family joined me in the elevator. I could see their expressions which were of confusion but I moved back a bit to escape their stares. Nothing happened eventually and that family later moved to another city much to my relief.
Later one day again, I was coming out of the elevator and I faced the couple who are relatively very close to us. Her and my wife are close friends. I was shit scared “what if they have recognized me… ” and I just walked past them with a smile hoping they would not recognize me clearly. This was proved wrong when in the evening my wife asked me if I went out dressed up…. I enquired her and she told me that her friend was mentioning that she has seen a Crossdresser today in the elevator… I was pale but I assured her that it wasn’t me and in fact I have seen some gay couples and a CD myself few times… Admitting it would be like breaking out pact I told in the beginning here.
Since then, there had been random talks about CDs and Gays and some mentions to my wife about certain behavior of men who dress up and gay. I believe, she is trying to hint my wife that she has a CD or a Gay husband thinking that she is unaware of it. I am in a fix now not knowing what to do. She can’t tell her friends that she knows about it as it will be an outright acknowledgement of the fact that I am a CD or maybe Gay (which I am not) and these talks will circle among the friends which would be embarrassing. It will be nearly impossible for her to explain them the details and eventually affect their friendship. Any help/advice please. I don’t want to cheat on my wife but at the same time worried about the gossip and losing the friends circle that we enjoy so much otherwise. I enjoy going out en-femme so much that it is a huge impulse at times when I am fully dressed to go out and show off the beautiful woman I am.
- January 23, 2016 at 6:05 pm #16657Registered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6485 times
My worst fear is what people will think and or say. Calling me gay, homo or some other term. I really shouldn’t care but I worry about what the reaction will be.
- January 6, 2016 at 10:15 am #15682ElaineDuchessRegistered On: September 2, 2015Topics: 26Replies: 89Has thanked: 68 timesBeen thanked: 264 times
Earlier in this string I told about going to my regular gas station en femme. So today I was back in the man mode. The same gal (Britt) was working the cash register:
Britt: Has anyone ever told you that you look like Bob Newhart?
Britt: especially around the eyes and forehead. (I think she meant we have the same receding hairline)
Me: Who do you think I look like when dressed as a lady?
Britt: IS THAT YOU???? I would have never guessed it was you.
We had a nice chat after that, and I’m sure we will have many more.
- December 29, 2015 at 10:20 am #14916Cookie JessicaLynn (Irish)LadyRegistered On: November 21, 2015Topics: 17Replies: 537Has thanked: 99 timesBeen thanked: 170 times
I actually had 2 fears, 1 was humiliating myself, and with much experience has gone away. My 2nd fear was what if I had an accident? Well after and ambulance ride as JessicaLynn a few years back even that fear is gone.
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- December 23, 2015 at 10:24 am #14482Registered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6485 times
I guess my biggest fear of going out in public and being presented with physical harm. To a certain degree, I can deal with verbal taunting, but I would never want to be put in a situation where myself or others would face being physically assaulted by close minded people.
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- December 22, 2015 at 9:16 am #14445ElaineDuchessRegistered On: September 2, 2015Topics: 26Replies: 89Has thanked: 68 timesBeen thanked: 264 times
Today was not my first time out dressed en femme, I have been out several times before but almost always to places where I didn’t have to interact with anyone, and where the chances of running into someone I know are remote. Today I ran a few errands then stopped for gas at my usual gas station. I’ve been there enough times before in the man mode so I am sure they recognize the male me – although don’t know my name. My initial thought was that if there were very few customers I would go into the store. Not the case, it was busy both inside and out. My heart was pounding and I was noticeably nervous while I waited in line for a few moments, then approached the counter. The attendant smiled as she looked me over, then said ‘how are you today?” My response is my softest baritone voice “Fine. $20 on #18 please”. She smiled kindly (and knowingly I expect) at me as I departed and we exchanged seasons greetings. On my way back to pump #18 I made eye contact with a lady gassing up her car, and she smiled warmly (and also knowingly I expect). I smiled back. No one else seemed to even notice I was there. Soooo, this single experience leads me to believe that people either don’t care or don’t even notice.
- November 17, 2015 at 8:20 pm #12685Registered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6485 times
my wife catching me at home or some neighbor coming over to borrow some sugar and they have the key to the house
- November 17, 2015 at 7:18 pm #12683Lucinda HawknsLadyRegistered On: September 1, 2015Topics: 6Replies: 1208Has thanked: 77 timesBeen thanked: 1257 times
would love to go out in public but afraid neighbors or friends would notice me and dis like me, call me names. but in the other hand might be given clothing that the women don’t need or ask me to come over so they can dress me up pretty and show me how to apply make up better. but that’s all not true with today’s society. i just want to get out of the closet and be free and show my fem side and wear my dress or skirt longer then what i do at home behind closed doors.
- November 11, 2015 at 5:26 pm #12441skippy1965 CynthiaAmbassadorRegistered On: August 25, 2015Topics: 110Replies: 1248Has thanked: 549 timesBeen thanked: 1391 times
OMG Kris! I’m laughing so hard it hurts! Not AT you but WITH you. That sounds similar though much more frightening than my first time out story(midway down the page on this link https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/what-was-your-first-experience-like/
You needed to remember the theme of my post-“Keys are the Key!” Mine was just blessedly shorter than yours but only due to blind luck!
- November 11, 2015 at 4:34 pm #12440AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 1Replies: 8Has thanked: 5 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Mine happened last week!! When I came out of the restroom (family restroom), I was strutting my stuff and I heard someone start giggling. YES. my dress was stuck on my pantyhose..lol.. TRUE STROY!!!
- November 5, 2015 at 6:02 pm #12215AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 0Replies: 1Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Worst fear? Been there already. I locked myself out of my car at a roadside parking area while in full girl attire.
I had about a two hour drive between cities so I took the opportunity to dress up/down. I put on some exercise tights, a sports bra, and fitness top. I pulled most the the shoulder length hair in my wig back using a clip, leaving some length on the sides. I’m also six foot (like is the case, it sounds, with many of you) and decently thin from running.
I heard my phone as I received a text while driving. Being a good (girl) citizen, I pulled over at the closest roadside parking area to read and reply. It was about 60 degrees outside and sunny so I stepped out of the car and sat at picnic bench at a distance, but in view, of all. I handled the text, then stepped back to the car to find it locked.
I stood, mouth agape, starring at my keys on the front seat, aaahhh. So close yet so far, Aaaahhh!
Do I break the window? Do I find a roadside attendant for help? Do I call a friend and request a “no questions asked” favor? I then remembered triple A (Thank you AAA). I called information and was transferred to an AAA assistant. Because I have the account through a city I lived in a while back, it took about an hour to get the proper systems and paperwork initiated – all while pacing the parking area with phone to my ear dressed like a girl straight from the gym!
When I hung up and awaited the tech, I was asked several times if I needed anything from very helpful bi-standers (people really are great). Like others of you, my voice is nothing but deep. I would attempt my best MiniMouse and say, “I’m good, thanks”. Luckily no one pressed further conversation. I was able to discretely remove the wig just before the tech arrived, but there was no hiding the clothes and chest. Sheesh, what I must have looked like.
I got my car back, I gave the tech a generous tip (like I said, people like this tech are great), I put the wig back on, and returned to the road, PHEW!
It was terrifying, it was nerve wracking, I feared it could be humiliating, and it turned out to be exhilarating. Hope you all have as good an outcome if/when you face you worst fear while out. If it happens, you are not alone!
- November 3, 2015 at 1:39 pm #12115AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 0Replies: 4Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 1 time
hi i been dressing up for years but i have really gone out in public yet always wonder what people might think and do i like apart can i pass. i done it once many years ago for Halloween but can get away with it. as i don’t get much time to myself because my panther don’t agree with it and she don’t really go anywhere for me to get the chance too. the only time i really do if i go to my sisters or my mums house. i have been going out early hours of Saturday mornings in the winter times as it is dark and on one about or cant really see who you are as i do a paper round at the age of 35 lol. im going out on a night with my sisters soon and its not in my home town so im thinking of going for it. so if anyone got any tip would be grateful many thanks gemma
- November 1, 2015 at 9:23 pm #12016Registered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6485 times
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I know that when I do go out in public it will be away from where I grew up like maybe down in Hollywood which is not far or Las Vegas. I will not come fully out to old friends and family. I have an underlying stage phobia to begin so I think it will just be “opening night” butterflies. Those that care do not matter and those that matter do not care.</p>
- October 25, 2015 at 6:29 pm #11476skippy1965 CynthiaAmbassadorRegistered On: August 25, 2015Topics: 110Replies: 1248Has thanked: 549 timesBeen thanked: 1391 times
OMG Tabitha! That is a great post about your experiences. I admire our bravery in being out and about and even more so our staredown with the girl. AS you noted, goes to show confidence and attitude go a long way!
- October 25, 2015 at 6:20 pm #11474Tabitha B.DuchessRegistered On: August 23, 2015Topics: 4Replies: 73Has thanked: 24 timesBeen thanked: 183 times
My worst fear has been, and continues to be, being humiliated and/or harassed while en femme in public. However, my experience has been that in reality, most people will simply ignore you. Let me share two examples. First, one night while leaving a hotel to get a takeout food item, I was in the hotel elevator with a hotel employee and another guest. (Hotel elevators always seem to be empty until you really want/need to use an empty elevator)! But anyway, on the outside, I was dressed in skinny girl jeans with a really cute and sparkly belt that was hidden by my windbreaker jacket. The hotel employee acted very professional and completely ignored me. The other hotel guest looked at my jeans, then looked at me in the face, and then looked away. All three of us were silent on the long slow elevator descent, and we then each exited on the first floor, and went our separate ways!
On another occasion, late at night, I was dressed in a mini skirt and a long sleeve top. Desperately needing to get gas, I drove up to a mostly deserted convenience store gas pump. As I was pumping my gas, and feeling pretty cool, I heard a whistle from a group of about four college boys that were standing and drinking beer on the side of the store that I had not seen while driving up. Then there was some laughter; but these boys were more interested in drinking their beer than in really hassling me! After finishing pumping, I decided to go into the store to get a receipt for my gas since everything in the area was still so deserted. The store clerk registered a bit of surprise in his face, but made no comments, and politely handed me my gas receipt. Then, just as I was about to leave, in walked three young women (late teens/early twenties). Since there was no way to leave the store without passing by them, I gathered some courage and began walking toward them and the exit door. The leader of the group saw me, slightly gasped, opened her mouth, and began a hard and unbroken stare at me. As I walked closer and closer, I challenged her to say something by staring just as hard and unbroken at her. In full silence, I walked past the group, exited the store, entered my car, drove away… and began breathing again!
- October 25, 2015 at 4:12 am #11428Lucinda HawknsLadyRegistered On: September 1, 2015Topics: 6Replies: 1208Has thanked: 77 timesBeen thanked: 1257 times
worst fear> dressing up for Halloween,asked my niece if she would dress me up as a female for Halloween, she said yes that would be fun. i went along as i asked her too. brought my female clothing i was going to wear, stripped off my boring male cloths in bath room, put on my panties, nylons, bra, dress, heels, walked over to her bed room and sat down for her to apply the wig and style it, then apply eye shadow and foundation and lip stick. i was in heaven. i sprayed on perfume and i felt funny all about it but what the heck. i was afraid of walking out side and people knew me walking around the neighborhood with my kids, i was not spotted but family knew i was dressed up as a female. walking in heels is hard but loved every min of it. that was my fear of being dressed up. but i do have another one but will reply later.
- October 24, 2015 at 11:38 pm #11415skippy1965 CynthiaAmbassadorRegistered On: August 25, 2015Topics: 110Replies: 1248Has thanked: 549 timesBeen thanked: 1391 times
One thing I am grateful for is you and your youthful exuberance as you share your incredible experiences in your growing femininity(I’d love to meet your wife-she sounds wonderful!)
Thank you for being a shining example of someone who totally accepts herself in all her glory!
- October 24, 2015 at 1:47 pm #11356AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 2Replies: 7Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 3 times
I am 6 ft. tall, and have a drill sergeant voice. Yes, I know that there are lots of women much taller, but I live in a military oriented community. Worse, I drive a bright red sports car. I had just lost my wife of 40 years, and then found this community. One of the first to greet me was Skippy. Sent a couple of emails back and forth. Then, I decided that I was going to try to pull up my big girl panties and go for a drive completely dressed. Had my purse in hand and it started raining. Two days later, I had been thinking about the breeze fluttering the hem of my dress and decided I was going to do it NOW. Completely as Linda I drove to a park. Quite nerviously I opened the car door and for the first time Linda was standing in the sun. I walked about for a bit then sat and read some from a book before returning home. I took a selfie and a short video of the dress fluttering to Skippy to celebrate this, for me, huge step.
- October 17, 2015 at 8:39 am #10746Debra WrightLadyRegistered On: August 25, 2015Topics: 1Replies: 19Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 7 times
My worst fear is fear itself. I don’t care if I am accepted or not. It is thou what to do if I would have to use the restroom while out dressed. Debra
- October 17, 2015 at 7:54 am #10741AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 1Replies: 1Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 0 times
My biggest fear, being read as male and harassed in public. Wow, I said it. Anyway probably going out with friends will make it easier and safer for me. One quote from my favorite ”
“Nothing’s impossible. The word itself says ‘ I’m Possible!”Audrey Hepburn
- October 16, 2015 at 4:40 pm #10622daniDuchessRegistered On: September 16, 2015Topics: 0Replies: 51Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 19 times
I am now 64 and in 54 years of dressing and going out in public (since age 20) all fear is gone. I have never corrected my voice, I dress to blend in, I shop in stores, eat in restaurants, if anyone has a problem with me it is their problem not mine and don’t make it mine. I am cautious at night. With each time going out it gets easier and with maturity and age come confidence. I no longer have fears of being seen by anyone. I have told all my neighbors, out to my sister’s, children, pastor, and some others in my church. The only problem I have is with my wife of 33 years. She has a hard time accepting and understanding.
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- October 16, 2015 at 12:07 pm #10579Kate24LadyRegistered On: October 6, 2015Topics: 0Replies: 3Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 1 time
My biggest fear would be not passing. I have never been in public. If I were to attempt to go out in public, it would have to be in another city like Las Vegas. With my luck I still would probably run into someone I knew. Another fear.
- October 16, 2015 at 9:18 am #10566Ronda FrancineLadyRegistered On: August 25, 2015Topics: 0Replies: 16Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 20 times
Once I start to get ready to go out I am Ronda, from what to wear to my makeup. The first time I went out in public I was fearful of being recognized as a man in a dress, but that never happened. I enjoyed my first time out with a friend, I was accepted and treated as a woman, and I never look back.
- October 16, 2015 at 5:24 am #10558AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 0Replies: 12Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
My fear was not what I wore or where I went or even meeting people as I knew / know so many ,
It was about not being accepted for who I was then .
so going back to age 10 was when I knew who I was and what I was and could never feel I was part of or belonging to , I felt like an out cast and being around men was worse so took many years to be near men yes I had 6 lovely friends and had men who befriended me , yet still did not over come that fear of rejection school was an issue and work to start with was hard ,plus I had many issues about myself ,
it had nothing to do with how I was born , anyway ,Over 20 years ago I told Jos I was a female and we got through that after 8 years of Hell, still never wore female clothes funny that .later
Jos helped me in many lovely ways , so was time to grow up and be myself as a normal female yes so I had to wear my female clothes so off I went into the world of rejection just as well I had friends and met new ones and we just talked about normal life and our familys kids and grandkids so no matter where I went I knew I would be allright .
So my fear became my road to live mylife as a normal person .
you may think my voice would be an issue no I was not bothered by that ,though that changed , okay belive it or not my own hormones and brain went into action and changed and my voice changed in a way that fitted who I am . not a high female voice just a nice sounding that was lovely it took about 6 months
Now before that when I was out at night 11pm till 1or 2 am i was with our Sally Army feeding and giving food and tea -coffe to the night people and homeless and I talked with them and one pro said to me youll have to do something about your voice oh I said …okay …she knew something that maybe others did not pick up on so there you are hence my first part of my writing ,
I have many people and strangers help me in so many many ways so my fear of rejection and not being accepted was put aside so if you call society not accepting of others like myself and being different then I would say I have proved so many times its not true , with in our groups of well over 1500 people who have accepted who I am and wont me around them then I cant wish for more and what they have given to me over the years and friends going back 58 years , I did something many wont do I put my trust in those I knew and I have not been disappointed . so my fear was turned around into hope and being able to see sometimes we can become members with in society with out fear of rejection .
- October 16, 2015 at 2:19 am #10549AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 0Replies: 1Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Like many others I too have a fear of being outed in public and the subsequent humiliation. I live in a small rural community that is not acceptant of anything out of the “norm”. None of my friends and family know I dress and I am sure they would not accept me as a woman.
- October 14, 2015 at 5:52 pm #10398Bianca BloomLadyRegistered On: October 8, 2015Topics: 1Replies: 1Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
I share the fear of running into someone I know. And then it happened. I’ve found it is so easy going out in NYC for a number of reasons. It all seems so normal there. One day I was running late, trying to get across town in a new dress and heels, and literally ran into a former work colleague. I apologized. He checked me out. But he never figured it out. My wife continues to assure me that I would never, ever be clocked. Those who know one of my drab side would never, ever assume Bianca is the same person.
- October 14, 2015 at 3:00 am #10319Jenifur CharneDuchessRegistered On: August 22, 2015Topics: 23Replies: 74Has thanked: 16 timesBeen thanked: 11 times
That post should make for interesting reading, Cynthia.
I’ll be watching out for it.
- October 13, 2015 at 10:23 pm #10296AmbassadorRegistered On: August 25, 2015Topics: 110Replies: 1248Has thanked: 549 timesBeen thanked: 1391 times
Stephanie-stay tuned for a post by me in the near future re gas pumps and being out in the world!
- October 13, 2015 at 6:43 pm #10244Stephanie WoodLadyRegistered On: September 20, 2015Topics: 2Replies: 18Has thanked: 8 timesBeen thanked: 6 times
My one of my biggest fear is like several other ladies in the group, running to someone who know me but I also fear being out in girl mode, car problems… who would I call?… taxi/ uber? I guess…
I live in a large apartment building, walking out in fem mode is great. A neighbor seeing a woman getting in my car and driving off or returning may raise questions …. I love stopping to get fuel and I know others at the pumps may notice/questioning my gender at times, but they never say anything to me.
- October 13, 2015 at 3:33 pm #10228AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 1Replies: 1Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
like many, my fear is running into someone i know and being recognized. No one knows both Alex and Lexi, and while i am fine with someone who knows Lexi meeting Alex, the other way around scares me to death.
I used to fear “not passing” but got over that, because i never will. I just stick to going places where it is more “acceptable”.
- October 13, 2015 at 1:29 pm #10215AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 0Replies: 1Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
I would mostly agree. I always fear being clocked. Maybe I didn’t do a good enough job with makeup or dress appropriately. But being clocked by someone you know such as a coworker, or neighbor would top the list!!!!
- October 13, 2015 at 12:38 pm #10212JessicaCross JohnsonDuchessRegistered On: August 25, 2015Topics: 1Replies: 38Has thanked: 65 timesBeen thanked: 115 times
My worst fear comes from being old and having grown up and lived in an intolerant environment, such as the military and other government jobs and then coming to my wife’s and my hometown after getting out. My wife’s parents were death on anything out of their norm and I would have surely been. My wife started out liking to dress me up but then got religion and denied me the things I wanted, she has finally passed away from cancer and now I’m freer to do what I want. My daughter is very accepting of me but I also hope that no one who knows her will see me. I’m just a train wreck trying to get back on the rack.
- October 13, 2015 at 11:00 am #10207Registered On: September 18, 2015Topics: 1412Replies: 3954Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6485 times
Isn’t it horrible, that we identify as ladies, and yet w feel we are getting “caught” doing things that ladies do everydsy, such as browsing the lingerie section, and God forbid purchasing some. lol.
I decided to face that fear head on, and not only shop, but I also take about 10 or more items to the dressing room check in at ion and make it very clear they are for me. Of course it still is irritating that I get sent to the men’s side of the rooms, but what can you expect dressed as a man. I wonder if I was dressed full on with makeup, would I still end up in the men side?
- October 12, 2015 at 4:29 pm #10154AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 8Replies: 52Has thanked: 115 timesBeen thanked: 63 times
My worst fear is standing out from the crowd I’ve seen a couple of crossdresser s were i live and thay stood out like a sore thumb. God bless them both for having the courage of their coviction, buI’m not confident i would pass , and the dread if somebody reconised me is unbearable. If i ever do it properly then i will have to go to another town but i think thats a little way off yet. Zoe xxxx 🙂
- October 12, 2015 at 2:35 pm #10150AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 0Replies: 1Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
My biggest fear is simple I live in the south east the Bible Belt where everything is simply black and white and there’s no room for anything different and I truly don’t know if I’m ready to be shunned by my family
- October 12, 2015 at 10:09 am #10139Archived ContentRegistered On: March 26, 2017Topics: 21Replies: 32Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 1 time
What was worse as the jail took my pantyhose for fear of me strangling myself. The jail was cold. There was one guy that kept eyeing me. My wife and I look back and laugh about it. It mayme realize to always go someplace safe for all.
- October 12, 2015 at 9:51 am #10138AmbassadorRegistered On: August 25, 2015Topics: 110Replies: 1248Has thanked: 549 timesBeen thanked: 1391 times
OMG I can’t imagine how scary that must have been-both at the jail AND then at home! Glad nothing more serious happened!
- October 12, 2015 at 9:14 am #10137Archived ContentRegistered On: March 26, 2017Topics: 21Replies: 32Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 1 time
My worst fear happened back in 95. I was arrested while wearing a mini skirt in public. I spent the weekend in jail in a skirt and skimpy blouse. I was in the main floor of the Houston Jail afraid that I would get raped and beaten up. Fortunately nothing happened except explaining to my wife what happened.
- October 12, 2015 at 6:33 am #10124AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 2Replies: 7Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 3 times
I live in a small town next to a Marine training center. Almost everything inn the town is geared toward support of the Marines and macho style. My male side fits right in with that. My female side would be beaten up. Can’t go driving because my car is immediately seen and looked at by almost everyone. I am an officer in the VFW and a speaker at national holidays like Memorial Day. So I am known by my male half. No place to go walking around here. So, I honor my wifes wishes and keep Linda as a house bound lady.
- October 11, 2015 at 9:18 pm #10094AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 1Replies: 5Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 2 times
I guess my greatest fear would be not passing as a lady. I am tall (6’2″) without heels. I love wearing heels. I feel that I would look like Andre the Gaint in heels and everyone looking at me like some freak.
- October 11, 2015 at 8:33 pm #10089Ginger Brianna GrantDuchessRegistered On: September 16, 2015Topics: 1Replies: 7Has thanked: 2 timesBeen thanked: 1 time
Darcy, I also grew up with intolerance…not much has changed in my neck of the woods
- October 11, 2015 at 7:16 pm #10081AmbassadorRegistered On: August 25, 2015Topics: 110Replies: 1248Has thanked: 549 timesBeen thanked: 1391 times
Oh no Casey! How unlucky-be more careful next time-we’d hate to lose you!
- October 11, 2015 at 6:44 pm #10075Rickie65DuchessRegistered On: September 13, 2015Topics: 1Replies: 14Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
I did go out about 30 years ago on Oct 31 with son but he made sour that every one new I was his dad. But you know even thou it stall felt so go. Sens then the wife had some fights over my cross dressing. God bless her. (She is no longer of this wold. But she was with me 45 years.) Now that i’m 68 not that good looken I stall would love to go out. But to meny people know me would not like to get caught. I mean after 26 years in one place it’s bone to happen.
- October 6, 2015 at 10:24 pm #9473AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 3Replies: 22Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 6 times
I never had a fear..I think its a New York thing, NY is filled with Drag Queens, CD’s, men with beards in dresses, gay,lesbian…I WILL say though that the biggest fear is in your OWN mind xoxo
- September 24, 2015 at 5:53 pm #8706AmbassadorRegistered On: August 25, 2015Topics: 110Replies: 1248Has thanked: 549 timesBeen thanked: 1391 times
did you go out to the movies last week? How did it go? I am so envious of your confidence in going out-I have yet to go out dressed where I can be seen up close (like the movies,a restaurant or even a drive through. Afraid of what others may think even though I know shouldn’t be. Worry that my voice will sound either too deep or too fake/falsetto. Sigh…hoping that exploring my thought and feeling here among friends will bolster my courage enough to make it out and about in the not distant future. Crossing my fingers-hey-I need to do my nails!
- September 17, 2015 at 6:34 pm #8285melissa mooreLadyRegistered On: August 24, 2015Topics: 0Replies: 9Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 1 time
Well I have not gone out in day light yet still a bit scared to meet some I know before I tell them. I tried not to long ago in day light I am working on it need to take that step I know I have new dress today and mary jane heels hopefully victoria’s
secret will be in tomorrow plan on going to the movies a little more public but still at night I know but at least it is not just driving around.
- September 17, 2015 at 5:51 pm #8278AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 3Replies: 16Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 5 times
Hi girls 🙂 Love all the courage in here ! I am just the opposite, I want to “get out there”! I am in a really lucky marriage. We shop, practice make up, critique each others clothes ( I usually lose :(). But she has boundaries witch I respect. Don’t get me wrong, I push boundaries all the time. My fear is simple, not looking beautiful and girly. Her fear is unacceptance, somewhat for her being with me, but more of a confrontation at me. And I see that and respect her concerns.
Short story, I was with a girl that knew I dressed and I liked to be in the car dressed up. This day I had on my strappy shoes ( my Fav), floral skirt & black cardigan. She was use to me this way. As we are driving down the block her friend stepped out and waved her down to talk. I am screaming “don’t stop, Don’t sop”. Well she stopped. So both are talking and I just kept looking at my friend, not the neighbor. Totally there, exposed. After they were done, I asked “why did you stop?”. She looked at me , ” nobody cares, what’s your problem” Kathie 🙂
- September 17, 2015 at 2:49 pm #8268Debra WrightLadyRegistered On: August 25, 2015Topics: 1Replies: 19Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 7 times
My fear always has never being accepted for who I am as a person Clothes shouldn’t matter but would always be the fat guy in a dress.
- September 7, 2015 at 7:43 am #6758Darcy BainsleyLadyRegistered On: August 27, 2015Topics: 14Replies: 140Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 40 times
There are so many to choose from, it’s hard to just pick one. OK so I’m generally paranoid about being called out for being “different”. I grew up in the era of intolerance. In younger days as a boy and young adult, I seen what they do to those who were different than societal norms – the “freaks” – most of which was quite ugly. So I guess the worst fear would be being called out as a freak and the consequences that might follow for the situation that I’m in at the time.
- September 4, 2015 at 12:38 pm #6057Vanessa LawManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: April 19, 2012Topics: 79Replies: 159Has thanked: 42 timesBeen thanked: 508 times
Woohooo!!! Way to go Andrea!!! You rock it girl!
- September 4, 2015 at 12:17 pm #6048Andrea MilesLadyRegistered On: August 25, 2015Topics: 1Replies: 3Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
I have just started going out in public. Today I spent the morning shopping in a blouse, long skirt, hat (my wig is a mess), flat heels an a lovely handbag. I passed several neighbours who didn’t recognise me, although three shopkeepers did. All three were extremely friendly. I also exchanged smiles with four women whom I do not know. I don’t think I passed, but I had a fantastic morning as the woman I am.
- September 2, 2015 at 7:50 pm #5444AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 0Replies: 9Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 2 times
My fear or disapointment is being hit on by a guy. It has happened and not sure if he knows if i am a male down under. If he thinks i am a woman, what will happen when he figures it out? I could get dang2rous.
- September 2, 2015 at 7:05 pm #5435AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 3Replies: 40Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 8 times
My biggest fear, when I go out, is that my entire existence is a lie and I’m the only one unaware of it…
A little existentialist and over-intellectual, I know, but there we are. Can anyone say trust issues?
- September 2, 2015 at 7:00 pm #5433AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 3Replies: 40Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 8 times
Own it with confidence, Millie! That is the only way to do it. You have to love yourself, otherwise the love from others feels hollow and meaningless. My experiences so far have been positive, and any negative reactions went unnoticed by me. I reveled in the positive.
I am near or at the point I’m not sure I care if someone I know sees me dressed. I need to own my own reality, and in doing so discover exactly how real it truly is.
- August 31, 2015 at 7:35 pm #5086Millicent TeasedaleDuchessRegistered On: August 24, 2015Topics: 10Replies: 168Has thanked: 26 timesBeen thanked: 305 times
Thank you, Vanessa. That really is the secret for me – to accept and understand and celebrate that I am Millie and Millie is me – just as much as my male persona. Millie just needs more practice – after all, she’s only been public for a few years – the other part of me has a 50+ year head start.
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- August 28, 2015 at 9:43 pm #4851Vanessa LawManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: April 19, 2012Topics: 79Replies: 159Has thanked: 42 timesBeen thanked: 508 times
Haha, that’s awesome Claudia! Hehe, is it my color 🙂
- August 28, 2015 at 3:43 pm #4810Claudia CAmbassadorRegistered On: August 23, 2015Topics: 43Replies: 112Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 156 times
Lisa – I found humor to work pretty well. One time I bought a dress by myself dressed as a guy.
The clerk gave me a funny look
I asked if it was my color.
She burst out in a loud laugh and said yes as she noticed my wedding ring. :^)
- August 28, 2015 at 10:27 am #4755AnonymousRegistered On:Topics: 1Replies: 14Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Recently my biggest fear was going out and being caught buying women underwear I know its not stepping out but being caught would have been disastrous.
- August 27, 2015 at 2:03 am #4447Jenifur CharneDuchessRegistered On: August 22, 2015Topics: 23Replies: 74Has thanked: 16 timesBeen thanked: 11 times
When I was still a crossdresser, the fear of being recognised was initially very high. Over time it slowly abated but never quite left. When I moved to start full time, it was basically rendered irrelevant.
For me, when I started full time, my worst fear was being outed and harassed by a bunch of high school brats. Having weak bones means violence and fights is something I have to be extra careful in avoiding.
- August 26, 2015 at 12:18 pm #4262Vanessa LawManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: April 19, 2012Topics: 79Replies: 159Has thanked: 42 timesBeen thanked: 508 times
Millie, when you said, “When I am dressed I am Millie it is important to me to own that – to be me, and Millie is me” I just loved that. It’s such a beautiful sentiment.
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