Are crossdressers on the LGBTQ+ Spectrum

Are crossdressers (as opposed to TG) on the LGBTQ+ Spectrum

  • Yes 74.19% 92 votes
  • No 25.81% 32 votes
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    • #563723
      Falecia McGuire
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      All I can say is there is something going with me and it’s been there for more than 60 years.  It has displayed itself mostly in the desire to wear clothes identified as feminine.  It also relates to my efforts to represent the body-shape of a women.  Oddly enough, I think men and women have likely always travel through individual and societal style choices that cross that elusive line between genders.  That said, I’m confident in saying that I believe the overwhelming number of those men and women who cross gender lines in attire and behavior remain heterosexual in their choice of partners.  Even though I’m closeted regarding feminine presentation, I frequently wear (in public) entirely feminine clothing, undergarments, and footwear, as a form of androgyny.  I enjoy being seen in the feminine garments and relish the generally favorable comments that are made.  Many may think I’m gay because homosexuality is better accepted than CD, but I’m grateful that I can benefit from their misunderstanding.  I cannot deny that I feel exhilaration from just doing normal things in skinny jeans, tunic tops, fashion belts, and heeled sandals or booties.  In a different world, they would be my go-to style statement!

      FAM

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      • #575185
        Kristopher Wright
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        I don’t think most of them are. Most Crossdressers are Straight Males. And, last time I checked Straight isn’t on the LGBTQ+ Spectrum either. In fact, Straight is considered the exact opposite of the LGBTQ+ Spectrum. This doesn’t include Transgender, as Trans people can be Straight too. No, I’m not Transgender, but I support them, and I have Online friends who are Trans.

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    • #563661
      Paula F
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      I voted no, this time.  Over time I have vacilated back and forth over the labels and pigeon holes that others have tried to push on me or make me fit into.  The 60’s, 70’s and the early 80’s were pretty simple, girls like me were simply transvestites or queen, with minor variations of the wording.

      Then came the ‘social experts’ with their boxes of letters.  We became CD, TV, TG, TS and many others.  The derogatory nicknames came from a slice of society that I found very repulsive.  Finally along came the categorizes and their alphabet soup, 2SLGBTQIA+ Ad infinitum, and the rainbow flag.  All have promised equality and equal acceptance by our own community.

      I have been told by gay men that I cannot be under their cover because I don’t wear pants, tightly whities, leather chaps or motorcycle gear, so there goes the ‘G’.  Before I had come to terms with myself and knew I would eventually transition, they took the ‘T’.  I couldn’t use the ‘L’ for obvious reasons.  And the ‘Q’ went with the ‘G’.

      It took my fight with cancer and the effects of a lot of chemotherapy to clear the BS out of my head ( chemo brain, it IS real).  Many long talks with the other chemo people, my awesome niece, and the counselors I have seen through it all, have put a level of clarity into my life.

      I know I am ‘T’, and I am refusing to wear a sticky tag with some classification on it.  No bumper stickers, no flags, no window stick figures, and certainly no identifier on my license plate or driver’s license.

      I am ME!  Maybe that seems selfish to the all inclusive people that still shun anyone different from their normal.  To them, it seems they are bringing people together with all the letters and jingoisms,  but it is only serving to separate us all a little further with each new letter added.

      Keep the social dogma someplace else.  I know who, what and how I am now.  I do not need someone to further divide me from within myself and from my friends.

      PaulaF

      • This reply was modified 1 month ago by Paula F.
    • #563467
      Dawn Wyvern
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      This question crops up on the site often and has some language problems with the terminology.

      The term Transgender is generally misunderstood in the US as it is often only used  to mean transitioning, however the WHO and many other agencies and countries around the world use the term Transgender as an umbrella term,

      Being a crossdresser means that you are part of the transgender community, however you are not transitioning,  but you may have a sliding scale of how much you crossdress – maybe you just underdress once  in a blue moon, or cross dress daily and live fem with no interventions .. both are support under the Transgender umbrella 

      To go with this are a whole list of other terminology which are also included under the term transgender as well …

      For example –  In a 2016 survey for a British education authority by the Children’s Commissioner, students were given 26 choices of gender identification – the results were very spread over the choices and there were several ‘others’ as well.

       Boy, Girl, Tomboy, Female, Male, Young Woman, Young Man, Trans-Girl, Trans-Boy, Gender Fluid, Agender, Androgynous, Bi-Gender, Non-Binary, Demi-Boy, Demi-Girl, Gender-queer, Gender Nonconforming, Tri-Gender, all Gender, In the middle of boy and girl, Intersex, Not sure, Rather not say, – and ‘Other’

      The bottom line for me is that we are all unique and individuals, and should not to get hung up on labels and boxes but just be comfortable with who you are.

      hugs

      Dawn x

    • #563418
      Amanda Burton
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      Gosh there are so many definitions it’s easy to see why we don’t seem to fit in anywhere but what of the new umbrella 2SLGBTQ+.The 2S stands for those that think they are of two spirits of man and female, does this not more accurately describe us, rather than a +.

      2S Amanda xx

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    • #563416
      Stevie Steiner
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      I would say, from what I have come to understand, that *as it sits now*  crossdressers are under the umbrella of the big “T”.  I say as it sits now, because it  is ever growing, and more letters will inevitably be added to this alphabet as we continue to better define this way we are and thing we do.   Even now the CrossdresserHeaven greeting  states –

      “To my fellow traveler on a transgender journey, welcome!”

      Yes, that may include those transgenders fully identifying as female, those who consider themselves bi-gender, those scratching their head about it, and those  crossdressers who do not have a gender identity issue af all.  Myself I feel some – not all!! – crossdressers may have some undercurrent of bi-gender to them as shown by the back and forth feelings some have in this regard when dressed.  I would even add bi-curiosity as well.  So maybe there is a dash of “B” too.

      And we are all unique in our own way, so it’s not really accurate using the same term to describe different peoples and there feelings, is it?  One word cannot cover all types of people.   It’s  more confusing perhaps, but we strive to find the proper language to describe ourselves because what I think/hope  what we all want is to just to be understood, as well as accepted.  🙂

      Stevie

      • #563417
        Krissy Richards
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        I suppose it depends on the person as you get hetro dressers and gay ones. Id say we fit in somewhere on the spectrum, I live in  Brighton so know all sorts of people and it’s no problem what they do in the confines of their bedroom. Live and let live is my motto

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    • #563327
      Molly Lace
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      My ex-girlfriend who knows I crossdress asked me if I identify with it. I don’t. But I’m sure many do.

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    • #563233
      Rasa Born
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      I have read many of these posts and there are some very good points. I did not vote. I guess it is up to the person. I have always felt like I am 100% woman inside. I feel like I was born this way.

      • #563706
        Cerys Burton
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        Rasa, does not make you transgender rather than a crossdresser?

        Cerys.

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      • #563415
        Elizabeth
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        That’s your prerogative.

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        • #563422
          Rasa Born
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          That’s your prerogative.

          I apologize to anyone that I offended. I meant no harm.

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    • #563107
      Donna
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      Of course they are as for myself as spectrum goes fall under the T since am trans and going further through the spectrum of the T.

      Donna

    • #563056
      Laura Lovett
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      Not necessarily.

      Cross dressers are first and foremost people.

      Sexuality is a separate matter entirely.

      I am not LGBT or Q, although I would accept the argument that everyone is “Q” in some way.

      I am also not sure what the “+” stands for, or any of the other recent additions… but if it refers to an area of sexuality, then, as in all walks of life, some of us are, some aren’t.

      Hence I didn’t answer the binary poll 😋😋😋😋😍

       

    • #563042
      Rhonda Lee
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      Is there a spectrum? Some say there are only two categories of people: those who cateogrize others and those who don’t. There is a broad spectrum of people… infinite… we are all unique. That is great and I am proud to be unique. But it does not imply I am on a path, LGBTQ+, sure to transition or anything else. I am just me and no one else. There are so many definitions of “transgender” that I hesitate to say I am TG, knowing that others will draw invalid conclusions by my saying so. My wife thought I must be gay, sure to transition, attracted to men, in love with another woman (me)… so she divorced me for the wrong reasons. And even if I were any of the above, would there be anything wrong with me that needed to be cured, as she thought?

      I’m being a bit facetious, not critical. This is a great question! I helped define the current definition of “transgender” for WPATH to specifically include crossdressers within that umbrella. Others under the same umbrella may take issue with that. More and more, those in ignorance try to protect some and exclude others, using definitions which derive from lack of understanding and prejudice. Should I have to use a men’s bathroom if I identify as or am biologically male but present en femme?

      In paving the way for some we often forget that we may hurt others. Words and differing treatment or prejudices do real damage. If I don’t meet a regulator’s definition of “transgender” I forfeit whatever privileges that may merit. Why? Who knows how I identify by looking at how I dress? Who understands the harm they can do by benefiting some at the expense of other? So after fighting with whether I was truly part of the TG spectrum based on my understanding of the term I fought for inclusion… is there more to gain by identifying as TG or more to lose? That street runs two ways. My best solution is to fight for the same rights so ID as “TG” when that matters. But if it damages relationship because of stereotyping, I may back away from the term. NCTE used the same logic when arguing for inclusion of TGs under the Civil Rights statutes. As attorneys say, “When the facts are in your favor, pound on the facts; when not, pound on the table.”

      Our founding fathers had it right. We are simply all creatures, endowed with inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I don’t expect privileges because I am in a majority race, worship in a certain way, have a certain skin color, have a particular IQ… but I don’t expect to be denied rights given others for those same reasons either. We are all alike in significant ways… human needs and feelings. So I resist categorization which suggests otherwise, whether to my advantage or not. We are ALL on the spectrum of humanity. All have both feminine and masculine traits. If I cry at a funeral, lift weights, enjoy watching the fights or football, enjoy wearing feminine outfits and makeup, am I weird because I don’t check all the boxes attributable to “normal”, “male” or “female”? Can one tell how I internally identify by the way I dress or act? Does it matter? Is there a test I must pass to entitle me to anything, whether entitlements or just the respect of others for being who I am as I try to find my own truth?

      Accept my humanity and you accept me, whatever I am attracted to or whatever I choose to wear. That’s what I want to do for others and have them do for me. Whatever “spectrum” implies, I hope it includes love for our brothers and sisters, whoever they may be or be headed. I may have a special heart for LGBTQ people, but one should not have to be LGBTQ or an advocate of certain causes to earn my love and respect or be considered by me as a fellow human being, with no expectations other than to be treated with love and respect, the same as anyone else.

      I attended MCC for years because I wanted to know what that meant and whether it fit me. Many presumptions were made about me and where I was headed, many prayers uttered in hopes I would have a safe, healthy transition. No one ever really knew what I truly believed; had they known, they might have been shocked. But it mattered not to me. Call me anything but never “late for dinner.” I found love, acceptance, sacrifice and genuine concern for my soul, the things that truly mattered to me. No one ever tried to convert me to their thinking or implied that it would matter in terms of whether I was welcome in heir presence. And that taught me something about love and what matters to others.

      If the “spectrum” includes love, support, acceptance for others, no matter how they identify or express, or wherever they are headed or whatever mistakes they have made with their lives, count me in.

      • #563568
        Clara Cross
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        Rhonda Lee, omg, thank you so much, I’m breathing again. “ On the spectrum of humanity”. I can live with that.

        “Help me Rhonda”, and you have.

        Best to you,

        Miss Clara Cross

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    • #562824
      Revel
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      Yes. I’ve always felt that crossdressers are under the transgender umbrella. In any case, transgenders are sisters of ours. 🙂

      • #563017
        Irene Hanley
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        I believe that gender fluid is who I am. I have known from an early age of 4 that I have two genders. I started moving from male to female mode when I was 11. At that age I had my first urge to dress as a woman. Crossdessing has always been one of the ways I flow into my womanhood. The desire could be initiated by numerous events such as seeing a woman in a dress that I would want to wear or reading an article about a Transgender woman. I would remain in female mode for a few hours to a few days. I want to emphasize that I don’t always have to wear my female clothes when I am in my female mode. I just feel feminine. In some cases I have had desires to transition but not always. Flowing back to being a male would start when I had to go to work or be contacted by cis friends, etc. For most of my life I have been in male mode most of the time. Over the years I enjoyed my male mode but always look forward when the desire to switch to a woman would happen. When I am dressed in my female attire I consider myself a woman. I do understand how we as Crossdressers could have a different option but I do believe that gender fluid people like me who love to Crossdress should fall under the Transgender umbrella and are part of the LGBTQ+ family.

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    • #562802
      Amy Myers
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      At one time I would not have thought so, at least for myself but now I consider myself part of the spectrum. The main reason is that there is no doubt now that I am gender fluid. At times I present as a man, at other times I present myself as a woman so I believe there is no doubt I am Gender Fluid.

      Labels, and more labels, they matter only because they are needed by some, either to figure where in the world they might fit it, and for others so they can pigeon hole us.

      So, if you feel you need a label, as I do in part, then I’d say take one, if not, then don’t.

      Amy

    • #562781
      Davina Evans
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      I am a straight man who loves to wear female clothes.  No intention or desire to be or do anything different.

      Being a crossdresser can be seen in all the labels presented, but it does not alter who or “what” you are.

      I was watching the people passing me at the shopping centre and noted that there are a tremendous number of females crossdressing out there judging by the number of long pants, flat shoes and shirts worn, plus short haircuts.

      Really does it matter?

    • #562733
      Daisy Marie
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      IMHO, the Q letter suits quite well with crossdressing.

      LGBTQIA+ abbreviation represents a very broad spectrum of personalities and identities, regardless they are public or shown 24/7, and the main intent of such large coverage is to give shelter to everyone whose attraction, identity and the way that person shows up to the society cannot be fit into the traditional male/female, heterosexual boxes.

      Also, by uniting all this people it’s a stronger way to defend them and seek for better life conditions, as most of us are usually subjected to prejudice, bullying and violence throughout the world.

      xoxo

      Daisy

    • #562664
      Krista
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      Hi Cerys, great question, you’ve evoked a lot of thoughtful responses.

      I belong to the yes/no – it depends group.

      If you are straight, then you don’t belong to any of the sexual preferences “letters”.

      And if you don’t self gender identify as female at any time while dressed en femme, then I would say you don’t fit any of the gender identity letters of the LGBT+ alphabet soup.

      That leaves those of us who have some self gender identification as female and this could be placed on the trans continuum as some CDs identify as female all the time while others only self identify when dressed en femme.  Notwithstanding all this, I still voted yes, as I think many of us do self identify as female at least when dressed.

      But I prefer no labelling at all as it is clearly complicated and because it deals with self analysis, there is no right or wrong answer.  Thanks again for the question Cerys, Hugs, Krista.

    • #562659
      Sylvia
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      I Think yes !
      When I´m dressed , I imagine myself being a woman.
      Thinking about having fun in the bedroom, pretending to play the Female role, not the male role!
      But ONLY when dressed.
      So because – for me- dressing up has to do with sexuality as well.
      As a man I have never been attracted to men, dressed as a woman I am still not attracted to men, but I do dream of having sex with a man or pre-op Transsexual.
      I think it is the ultimate experience a Crossdresser can have…..

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    • #562632
      ChloeC
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      Considering that that acronym has almost now more letters than the alphabet itself (and probably still growing), I would have to say yes we do fall somewhere on tbe expanded spectrum which is growing more fluid each day. But thats just my opinion based on about 60-70 years of thinking about it. Or I suppose one could say that we are all  totally unique in our similarities. (or maybe all similar in our uniqueness. )

      • This reply was modified 1 month ago by ChloeC.
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    • #562609
      Liara Wolfe
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      There are many reasons for someone to choose to cross dress. I do believe we fall some where in the spectrum.

      Hugs, Liara

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    • #562599
      Anonymous
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      Hi Cerys,

      My answer is “yes”, for multiple reasons. My wife referred to it as “Getting in touch with your feminine side”, which is exactly what we are all doing, no matter where we are on that spectrum.

      The spectrum itself is fluid, and our positions not set in stone. Some pundit once asked the question “what is the difference between a CD and a TG?
      Then answered it himself: “About 5 years”; and for many of the ladies here, that answer is accurate.

      Hugs,
      Lulu

    • #562597
      Abbie Normal
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      I said yes. I think even if you’ve got no questions about your gender or sexuality and you’d otherwise fit into the standard Binary world with your assigned birth gender except that you’re wearing clothes typically worn by the “opposite sex” then at the very least your Gender non-conforming and probably Genderqueer. Come on in, the waters’ fine!

      — Abbie 🥰

    • #562594
      Angela Booth
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      This is an interesting question. I looked on the Stonewall (U.K.) site. Under the glossary of names crossdresser is not mentioned. 

      It is accepted that most males that crossdress are heterosexual. In that there can be no alignment to LGBTQ. The fact you dress in some, or all the clothes and even go to the extent of living as a woman but align your sex to male and are straight sexually ,you would be excluded.

      If you saw yourself as Gay, Non Binary, Trans, Bi, Queer and whatever the new word of the day is, then this is included.

      When I began to look into the laws and protected rights a crossdresser was not mentioned. If you look at what is written, from the NHS website, you can live as a woman,Identify as such. change your name, still be heterosexual and not have hormones or surgery you can be Trans. By other definitions you are still a crossdresser. Confusing isn’t it?

      Stonewall LGBTQ+ appears to be about sexuality, sexual lifestyle, gender identification, fluidity and god knows what.

      If you identify as Trans you can join the club without question although you may not fit the sexuality aspect so would be an anomaly as you aren’t, by their definition, LGBTQ+.

      Even if you are a full time C.D, live as a woman, identify as such you are the same as trans but do not identify as that, then are you welcome? I think we aren’t.

       

      There endeth my simple thoughts……Discuss……

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      • #562608
        Cerys Burton
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        This is my thinking. I’m a heterosexual male that enjoys, actually prefers, wearing female clothing. Given the chance I possibly would dress as a female all day, every day, but I’d still be a man. I thinks, act, walk talk and look like a man. I’m hairy. I shave about every 3 weeks, bit I do shave my legs occasionally. Sometimes I do hair and make up. Usually, I can’t be bothered. I don’t try to emulate being female. I can walk in heels, but I’m far from dainty. I don’t wiggle, nor try and walk one foot in front of the other. I’m a man in a dress. I know where my gender and sexality is. It’s nailed to the male end of the stick.

        Cerys

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    • #562584
      Heather Jameson
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      This is a tough one, a lot of grey area but I went with yes. When you crossdress your are changing your appearance to look female so you are transitioning making you transsexual as you’ve crossed from one sex to the other in some degree. It may only be slight but you have crossed over. I know in my early days of dressing I tried to imitate the female persona so once again yes. Crossdressing is an evolutionary process. We start off with panties maybe stockings, next lets try the bra and we stuff it. Definitely transitioning right there, you want the female shape. After that, lets throw on a dress and shoes, this feels nice lets do my hair and makeup, once again your trying to look more female. Now you grab one of your sister’s smokes hold it in your hand very feminine like and start walking around showing off your wiggle and maybe pretending your at a party and using body language and changing your voice. I call that transitioning or crossing over which in my eyes makes me transexual.

      Just my opinion, Heather the transexual.

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    • #562578
      Rayna Carlian
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      That’s not a question easy to answer yes/no….

      I know plenty of CDs that do not fit any if the descriptors of an LGBTQ+ belonging in the strictest sense.

      Now, let me be clear for myself. I am Non-Binary, I am Bi. I do find myself in the mix.

      But I also know some very straight, cis-het, people that simply like to wear clothes that are contra to their gender according to societal expectation. Those individuals are not, in my opinion, part of the LGBTQ community in the sense that they don’t “fit” any of the strict definitions.

      Do I welcome every single CD that wants to participate/support LGBTQ activities? GIRL, HELL YES!

      I wouldn’t ever turn away a person that wants to be part of the family… ALL are welcome in my opinion.

      You want to be recognized as LGBTQ? I see you! Welcome! You want to be a beautiful LGBTQ ally that knows how to rock a dress and heels? We love you for being a supportive sister!

      Like I said, yes/no is hard, like the colors of ALL the different Pride flags out there, there are several shades of gray between that yes and that no….

      I hope that’s slightly clearer than mud, LOL

      Have a great day,

      XOXO

      Rayna

       

      • #562593
        Cerys Burton
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        I’ll always support LGBTQ+ folk. I hate oppression, haters, unfairness and ignorance. A devout socialist. I will fight for anyone not being treated fairly.

        Cerys

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    • #562573
      Barb Wire
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      Hi Cerys!

      Good question!

      My needle quivers towards YES.

      Personally, I could probably claim most of those letters. But the “T” is most troubling. My mind is always swirling and it’s very tiring. Crossdressing is my valium. Helps me get into a good head-space and that’s enough for now.

      I’m blessed my SO understands my buzzing-brain and feelings. Her brain buzzes too (usually with math equations!).

      xo Barb

       

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    • #562552
      Gabriela Romani
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 11, 2021
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      It all depends on what the motivations for crossdressing.
      Is a guy with who wears panties for comfort or excitement, is he a crossdresser? Technically, he meets the common definition, so while he may or may not be a crossdresser, I’d dare say he is not transgendered. Same with most of the women who may wear what some call “men’s clothes”. Most of them are wearing women’s jeans, slacks, combat boots, etc which are women’s items, so no, they are not crossdressing. And of course you have transgendered individuals for whom the clothes are not remotely important. So, not a yes or no kind of question. Some are, some are not, ImHO.

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    • #562547
      Kelly Terry
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: February 26, 2018
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      I believe crossdressing is a fashion style, that’s all

      If it’s just a fashion style, then why isn’t it accepted the same way “goth” or “vintage” style is accepted?

      Also I think that depends on the person. Some may only go for the clothes and other (maybe just sometimes) go for the full experience without having any desire to transition. The whole personality may change and then it’s way more than just the clothes.

      /kt

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    • #562519
      Kelly Terry
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: February 26, 2018
      Topics: 31
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      I’m thinking “LGBTQ+” and the rest of that alphabet soup is basically everyone that isn’t conservative binary.
      I mean – where do you think you find more support for your heterosexual crossdressing than in some kind of LGBT place?
      I guess if you dress up and go to a sports bar or beauty parlour you may not be thrown out but it’s not like it’s the primary place to go for support.

      /kt

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    • #562509
      Sa•man•tha
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
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      Of course they are Cerys!
      My heavens, I’d put forth that we’re all on the trans spectrum, whether we realize it or not, whether we understand it or not, whether we’re considering “transitioning” or not… otherwise why are we presenting ourselves the way we do? (and feeling the way we do when we do it, and dealing with the things we deal with…)

      • #562614
        Pumped Forheels
        Lady
        Registered On: November 22, 2020
        Topics: 2
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        I agree completely. Even if we don’t have a desire to transition I believe we are on the fringe of being transgender.

        I have very little desire to transition, but I often wonder if I was born 50 years later and with the information we have available today if my life would not be totally different.

        Today I just can not see transitioning, too much baggage to get there so I accept my place in life and deal with it.

        I find it hard to believe that most of us when we dress up don’t have some thoughts of what it would be like to be a real woman. To me that thought puts us in the “spectrum”.

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    • #562505
      Dani Grand
      Baroness
      Registered On: October 9, 2018
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      Not if YOU don’t want to be.

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    • #562503
      Clara Cross
      Lady
      Registered On: December 7, 2020
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      Cerys, I’m not sure the question is as accurately phrased as it could be. LGBTQ+ is not actually a “spectrum”. It’s more a list than anything else. I think what you’re asking is, “Are crossdressers on the transgender spectrum?” If so, a resounding and emphatic yes, even for “a guy in a skirt”.

      Clarifying Clara

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    • #562484
      Cherry Berry
      Lady
      Registered On: June 30, 2020
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      There are a variety of reasons people crossdress and I just want to say that I have a different opinion on what exactly crossdressing is.

      I believe crossdressing is a fashion style, that’s all. There should be no explanation or reasoning around that. If you like something and want to wear it; that’s purely a fashion choice. It has nothing to do with being a man or a woman.

      Now with breastforms or hip pads, it’s not even specific to men who crossdress. A lot of women wear padded bras, shapewear and even corsets because many women don’t have that coveted hourglass figure that is constantly shown in media.

      The term LGBT didn’t even have the T at the end previously, it was only LGB. If you are attracted to the same-sex, you’re on the spectrum. The T part is half-and-half because like I said previously, people crossdress for many reasons and some associate clothing with gender, which doesn’t make sense. The reason it doesn’t make sense is that fashion is always changing for everyone no matter what gender you are, so if men and dresses were a thing for the next 100 years, eventually some people would get tired of it and start wearing something else.

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      • #562530
        Marti
        Baroness - Annual
        Registered On: February 5, 2019
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        Hi Cherry,

        You’ve made interesting points in your post, but I stumble at this assertion:

        I believe crossdressing is a fashion style, that’s all”.

        If it was just a fashion sense then surely I could live without it? If it was a fashion sense, why would someone sometimes risk heartache, social censure, marital problems or even divorce to follow their inclination (as I might say) or fashion style (in your words)?

        This isn’t meant to provoke an argument, I’m just curious as to what you might think

        Marti xxx

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        • #562700
          Cherry Berry
          Lady
          Registered On: June 30, 2020
          Topics: 2
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          Hellooo, I understand what you mean. But you have to look at it from a much broader perspective. People will like or hate us for many different reasons, crossdressing falls into that list of reasons. Do people argue/fight and separate over it? Absolutely! But that can happen even without crossdressing or any other reason we can think of.

          And besides, our lives aren’t meant for compromises. Do what you want and be happy with it. Regardless of others, no matter who it may be.

          I know it sounds like incredibly terrible and generic advice but a certain level of stoicism is required to keep a straight-forward mentality that allows us to live our best lives.

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          • #562851
            Marti
            Baroness - Annual
            Registered On: February 5, 2019
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            Thanks for you response Cherry,

            I’m quite good at stoicism in ways I shouldn’t describe here. Lol, I’m also not bad with irony. I made my way here and found help,support and acceptance. Actually, I was looking for explanations – but, what the hell … I’ll take what’s on offer. 😉

            Enjoy your cross dressing any which way you want.

            Marti xxx

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      • #562515
        Dani Grand
        Baroness
        Registered On: October 9, 2018
        Topics: 1
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        I think there is an association of fashion to gender. But I also believe you are correct in that the pattern always changes.

        I believe that evolves over generations just as you suggest. Heels are associated with ladies more now because of height differences between men and woman. It wasn’t always that way. Men were shorter and used heels as a means of mounting horses as well as for a height advantage that is presented in public forums.

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    • #562467
      Elizabeth
      Lady
      Registered On: October 7, 2021
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      I feel the same way Cerys. I’m just a bloke that loves do dress in female clothing when I get the chance. I’ve no intention of any surgery done.

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    • #562464
      Kimberly Ann Victoria
      Lady
      Registered On: September 6, 2021
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      I am like you Cerys, I love dressing and feeling feminine but I could never pass for a women and I am not going to transition

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    • #563019
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
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      Lisa, your argument about Transgender is quite sound and I believe I have covered that in my posts. If someone wants to label me as such then I have no issues as it benefits, as I will example.

      Everyone is protected by the harassment and assault too.The add ons are for defined status which gives further sanctions to breaches of the acts. The employment act also enforces the law for Trans persons. I accept your comments on whether an employer would discriminate against a crossdresser and how would that be viewed if that employer was taken to court. In my experience my employers would not have an issue but would take the stance I am transgendered and comply with the current legislation to cover themselves. My employer has a charter and training that states that we do not discriminate against any person, be that worker or client, on gender, race, religion, beliefs. It cites a client who wishes to crossdress and that has to be respected and address them as they prefer. That, to me, has an inference to accept as a trans person thus protecting the client and themselves. Whether or not you self define it seems a sensible approach.

      You are correct that it is also not illegal for a male to enter a womens toilet. It could be considered a public order offence such as Section 5 of the act if some one is offended by the actions. Even so there are defences which can be applied if your actions were believed to be reasonable and that you had no intention to offend. If the offended uses words that may be considered transphobic they could also find themselves in trouble too. Sort that one out!

      I am a bit lost as to how Alexander Mc Queen outfits relates but accept that it should not be down to law as to how we wish to dress. It would be a sad day if it came to that.

      I am well aware of the turmoil the Stonewall/LGB debate has caused within. It is not good at all and being dragged into the feminist argument it just makes matters worse as it could affect the public who, in the most part, are quite accepting. I have pointed out in another post the government had legislation ready to go, under the cover of covid, which would have made it illegal for a male to enter a female toilet. It appeared there was no exception for trans. It has been shelved for now but if this row doesn’t abate it could come back. It would seriously effect the lives of us that have gone about our business quite lawfully and without incident.

      Cerys has no issue  with any definition – colours to the mast. Some make a point that Cerys is in the spectrum and, if I read correctly, doesn’t see it that way. Is it a fashion? Is it a need? Whatever it is it is in that broad church that brings us together here. It really doesn’t, and shouldn’t, make any difference as to how and why we do it and to what degree. It’s a personal choice. How we wish to progress and to what level is also a personal choice. It is sad that we need law to assist us in the way we want to live but it seems a necessity and I am thankful for that as it allows me to live my life with less complication.

      I understand all the discussion here and it has been great to see the views in an open and honest forum. Unlike the outside world, none of us are making demands or showing any disrespect to each other. 

       

       

       

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    • #562896
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 4
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      Yes Lisa by definition you would be Trans gendered if you live as a woman. If you are prepared to identify as Trans then you have nailed your colors to the mast. It is for the individual to make that decision. I myself have accepted my body and birth sex. Until I was wiser changing my physical self was a dream. I got on with life in accepting my lot but developed the feminine self. I have now crossed over the boundary and transformed myself into the person I want to be. My physical appearance is that of a female but the body is still the same. My nature is still the same. I am the same person but accepted into society as a female. Maybe I am the female trapped in a male body, it would seem. In some respects I am both male and female? Am I a female impersonator?

      It is a reasonable assumption of others that I am Transgendered and is a label that society works with and is happy to accept. I accept that as it seems that it makes my life easier.  I am not in any denial about the issue and try to duck out of all the controversy as I want to live my life in peace. I am what I am.

       

      What the issue to me is that as a crossdresser that ticks all the boxes for Transgender, but does not identify, you are not accepted into the LGBTQ+ world and, as in the U.K. you aren’t afforded the protection of the law.

       

       

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    • #562648
      Abbie Normal
      Duchess
      Registered On: June 13, 2021
      Topics: 13
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      Hi Lisa!

      It certainly is a very deep topic if people want to dig further. I just wanted to give a simple dictionary definition of how the average “I’m just a crossdresser” person could fit into the letters.

      Personally I think we’re all on a trans spectrum, I mean “everyone” here, not just us crossdressers. The ideal gender norms of male and female are rarely held to by anyone and honestly the few that do are the outliers not the core group. The core of humanity falls somewhere between the two Western world binary definitions. It’s just a question of where on that line each of us are and how we want to define ourselves (to some extent). Hugs back!

      — Abbie 🥰

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    • #562624
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 11
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      Me too!😄

       

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    • #562508
      Dani Grand
      Baroness
      Registered On: October 9, 2018
      Topics: 1
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      That is one of the better explanations I have seen written anywhere. Well done, miss!

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