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Hey girls
This is a plea for information.
I’ve been kicking around a new, long term writing project in my head for a while now (I always have several on the go) and I’m currently trying to unearth reference material about all aspects of mtf crossdressing and transgender issues. I’m casting the net wide, looking for any sources of information that might be useful to members of our community, whatever their age or situation and regardless of whether they’re a casual crossdresser who’s just starting out or someone who is actively transitioning.
Looking for suitable books on Amazon isn’t very fruitful, as most of what’s for sale there falls under the umbrella of what I might call ‘titillating fiction’. None of it particularly helps the public perception of who we are.
Don’t even look unless you want to end up banging your head on the table 🙁
I did manage to find four books which might be useful to me, though judging by a couple of their titles I’m probably entirely wrong. At least they weren’t expensive!
‘Men in bras, panties and dresses: the secret truths about transvestites’ by Dr Vernon Coleman. I don’t think he spent too much time thinking up a snappy title.
‘Briefs encounter; An introduction to crossdressing/transvestism’ by Dr Vernon Coleman. Again, come on Vernon. Honestly, couldn’t you think of a better name for your book? Briefs encounters? Really?
‘Why not? Thoughts about crossdressing and male feminisation’ by Barbara Deloto. I have very low expectations of this one, since the author is responsible for much of the ‘titillating fiction’ that I mentioned above.
‘Living with crossdressing: defining a new normal’ by Savannah Hauk.
If anyone could point me towards any other, perhaps more serious or scholarly books about crossdressing or transgender issues I would be very grateful! It doesn’t matter if things are out of print, as I can look for them on AbeBooks.
I would be similarly grateful to be pointed toward useful internet resources. I’m interested in everything from CD/TG blogs (such as the excellent ones run by Hannah McKnight and Micki Finn) to ‘drier’, more academic websites or studies about any aspect of the subject. If a site contains ANYTHING that would be useful to our community then it’s grist to my mill 🙂
Even academic papers about crossdressing, transgender issues and transvestism will be of use.
Hugs
Ellie x
I read these books years ago. They’re good.
“My Husband Betty” by Helen Boyd
“She’s Not The Man I Married” by Helen Boyd
“Alice in Genderland: A Crossdresser Comes of Age” by Richard Novic M.D.I haven’t read this but it gets good reviews.
“Alice In GenderLand: One Wife’s Journey with her Transgendered Husband” by Heidi HansenBeyond that, there are a ton of trans/CD forums on Reddit that can be helpful. And there’s one of the oldest trans/CD support sites out there – Susans.
Obviously you’ll have to find these on your own, Ellie. If I think of anything else I’ll send it along.
Good luck!
/EAThank you so much Emily
This is going to give me a really good start with what I’m intending to do 🙂
I’ll start sourcing the books straight away. It’s a long term project, but the sooner I can get stuck in the better it will be.
Hugs
Ellie x
I too was going to mention “My Husband, Betty”.
I think it’s an interesting read, particularly if a CD or someone who is transitioning wants to understand what their SO may be going through. I find the story of the author and their gender expressive partner the more interesting than the authors “acceptance”.
I put acceptance in quotations as I felt that the amount of snarky comments in the book leads me to believe their level of acceptance was less genuine that they were presenting.
-Natalie
Heidi Phox is another good one for help in understanding and seeing both a husband and wife’s view a part time crossdresser with a supportive wife has written stuff and has several videos does weekly videos too.
Ellie I would also recommend Savannah Hauk podcast “The Fox and The Phenix” she has some wonderful insights into who we are as duel gender individuals.
Forgot to mention….
Vernon Coleman’s medical claims have been widely discredited and described as pseudoscientific. About the only use you’ll glean are 2 examples of misinformation.
/EA
Savannah Hauk has a second book: Living with Crossdrssing: Discovering Your True Identity. From her podcasts, she has mentioned she is working on her third book in the series, but it is not yet out.
A word on the Helen Boyd books. She kept saying that she was just crossdressing, and not going to transition. Then she ended up transitioning. Savannah Hauk has talked a couple of times about this on the podcast, giving it to her girlfriend to read, having never read it herself. It was considered a good reference book, but defeated the purpose of telling the story of crossdressing as opposed to transgenderism. That’s one reason she wrote her books.
I recommend Cierra Cremins’ work.
Manmade Woman and The Future is Feminine
A lifelong crossdresser (is there any other kind IMHO) now an academic who studies gender and dresses full time.
Hi Venus
These are two really useful leads for me … this is like gold dust 🙂
Thank you so much.
Hugs
Ellie x
I don’t have anything more to add, Ellie. However, this sure sounds like the starting of a book club.
-Natalie
The Transgender Issue, by Shon Faye. Essential reading to understand the issues underpinning the transgender struggle for civil rights. Author is a transwoman and writer in the UK. Eminently readable.
Grayson Perry did an interesting documentary on “Why men wear frocks,” found on utube.
He is a bit of a British icon. There are some bbc documentaries on cross dressing which dwelve into the lives of crossdressers as well.
Ellie, I have been listening to Dr Z Phd on you tube. She is a gender therapist and I think she has a book or 2 out. Her video’s are very helpful and insiteful.
Cassie
I just came across this web article…
Hey Ellie
Resources: (others have mentioned these books, but I did find them helpful)
My Husband Betty (Helen Boyd)
She’s not the man I married (Helen Boyd)
Alice in Generland (Richard J. Novic)
(Belgium specific (university reports)
Being transgender in Belgium, mapping the social and legal situation of transgender people (Joz Motmans)
Being transgender in Belgium, 10 years later (Joz Motmans, Elia Waverkens, Justine Defreyne)
– both can be found online for free, but there are probably other open access university and government reports from different countries/regions.
Photographic testimony to crossdressing:
The Other Side (Nan Goldin)
Biography
The Danish Girl (David Ebershoff)
Film:
Glen or Glenda (1953) – this is a historical look at crossdressing in the mid 20th century. It is not a pornographic film.
Sorry I cannot be more helpful, but if I come across anything further, I will certainly let you know.
Hugs
Christine
Thanks Christine!
This is actually FANTASTICALLY helpful:)
I have the first three books on your list now, but it’s still useful to me to know that people are generally impressed by them. I also have ‘The Danish Girl’, which I thought was excellent. I bought it after watching the film, as I’m sure many people did. I’m ashamed to admit that I hadn’t known about Lili Elbe before then.
‘Glen or Glenda’ is an interesting one! At one point is was voted as the worst film of all time, but many people now consider it to have been ground breaking. It’s certainly a cult classic; David Lynch listed it as one of his favourite films.
I’ll definitely have a look at the online resources you mention, especially as they could well be a gateway to other useful resources.
Thanks again
Ellie x
Another book just occurred to me. My friend gave it to me as she was closing her transformation business. I haven’t read it, but it looks like it could be interesting. It is about 26 years old (copyright date is 2007).
Head Over Heels: Wives Who Stay with Cross-Dressers and Transsexuals by Virginia Erhardt, PhD. (What’s after the colon is the subtitle.)
While checking to see if the previous mentioned book was still available, Amazon suggested a book, “Why Can’t a Man Be More Like a Woman?” The Evolution of Sex and Gender” by Lewis Wolpert. The title was chosen as a play against the “song” from “My Fair Lady,” Why Can’t a Woman Be More Like a Man.” (I say song in quotations because Rex Harrison couldn’t sing, so he just spoke in rhythm.) I have been looking at the sample available on Amazon and it does look interesting.
It may be slightly off topic for you, but you can see for yourself by reading the sample provided by Amazon.
Hi Alison
I found a copy in good condition on Abe Books. I’m looking forward to reading it; thanks for the recommendation!
I plan to compile a list of all the titles that people have suggested, plus others that I’ve unearthed myself, and add it to CDH as a separate forum post. That way we can all have access to a ‘Crossdresser Reading List’ 🙂
Hugs
Ellie x
Hi Ellie. If you would like a fun read sometime, there are two books available by Veronica Vera. I can’t recall the titles, but they’re a fun read and might have a bit of good information in them as well. For many years she ran Miss Vera’s School for Boys Who Want To Be Girls in New York City.
Hey Ragina
Veronica vera’s best known book is ‘Miss Vera’s Finishing School for Boys Who Want to be Girls: Tips, Tales, & Teachings from the Dean of the World’s First Cross-Dressing Academy.’ I’m not entirely sure it’s what I was after, but since second hand copies are available on Amazon Marketplace for around £4.50 I’ve bought one just for the LOLs.
She also wrote ‘Cross-Dress for Success’ (maybe I should try that) and ‘Cross Gender Fun for All’ 🙂
Hugs
Ellie x
Ellie,
– Try and find the documentary titled “Casa Susanna” which aired on public television here in the U.S. a few months ago. It is about a couple who had a private home in upstate NY in the 1950’s and 60’s where crossdressers & trans ladies gathered to dress. It was very impactful and very well done.
– I second what Emily said about “My Husband Betty”.
– Sydney Lovekiss on YouTube gives frequent advice to CD’s on various topics.
Hi Fiona
I watched the Casa Susanna documentary after being tipped off about it here on CDH. I found it truly beautiful.
I would love to have a copy of the original book by Michael Hurst and Robert Swope, but it’s become something of a Holy Grail of books about transgender issues and often sells for hundreds of pounds a copy 🙁
Because of the huge public interest in the documentary there is a new book out, by Isabelle Bonnett, Sophie Hackett and others. It’s called ‘Casa Susanna: The Story of the First Trans Network in the United States, 1959-1968’. It’s currently only available in French, but the English version is due out on 11th January 2024 and can be pre-ordered on Amazon.
I now have a copy of ‘My Husband Betty’ and will investigate Sydney Lovekiss. Do you think that’s ACTUALLY his real name?
Hugs
Ellie x
I had a sudden flash of the Casa Susannah story recently aired on PBS.
It may have already been mentioned. I haven’t gone through all the comment.
Story of the people part of the retreat in the Catskills in the 50s and 60s.Probably more well known in the UK, young trans woman Paris Lees wrote her story, “What It Feels Like for a Girl” in 2021. Fascinating read.ISBN # 078-0=241-45012-3
Thanks so much Kelli
I’m very grateful to everyone for suggesting so many wonderful books.
As I said in one of my other replies, I plan to collate everything, sort it into categories, and then stick the document into a separate forum post so that it can act as an embryonic reading list for those who are interested.
There’s actually a lot of really good stuff out there 🙂
Additional suggestions are still welcome though!
Hugs
Ellie x
Dear Ellie,
I would recommend the ‘Living with crossdressing: defining a new normal’ by Savannah Hauk.Its may not the best resource for cross dressing information, though it has great insight as the writing involves both writing from the crossdresser and his significant other.
Another resource which may give you some leads would be “Grayson Perry: Portrait of the Artist as a Young Girl.” His vulnerable and candid writing made it a joy to read, also it was littered with humor.
Do let us know and update us of your progress! I am too, curious and inquisitive of deeper writings on cross dressing.
May you find what you seek,
The bluest BelladonnaThanks Belladonna
I’ve bought both ‘Living with Crossdressing: Defining a New Normal’ and ‘Living with Crossdressing: Discovering Your True Identity’ by Savanna Hauk and an looking forward to working through them. Her ‘Living with Crossdressing’ website complements them both and is a useful resource in its own right.
Grayson Perry is something of a national treasure in the UK 🙂
I’m still actively looking for further written resources but have already assembled a useful reading list which I’ll share with everyone in due course.
Hugs
Ellie x
Dear Ellie,
I just found out about the post our member Marie Chandler wrote on “Casa Valentina” a film by by Harvey Fierstein in 2014. It is a wonderful insight into the history ofcross dressing. Another resource which has popped into my mind is “The Seahorse club”: https://melbqueerhistory.tripod.com/seahorse.html
Looking forward to that list!
with all support and appreciation,
The Bluest BelladonnaTwo more amazing leads for me … thank you so much Belladonna 🙂
I don’t think that I would have found either of these on my own.
The reading list continues to grow! It’s for my own reference (for one of the writing projects that I’m currently working on) but it should be of interest in its own right. Rather than giving a bare and uninformative list of titles, I’ll try and annotate it so that everyone can seen what each book is about and decide whether it might be for them or not.
I always love researching things like this. You never quite know where it’s going to take you, and each new resource has a tendency to throw up others …
Hugs
Ellie x
Thank you so much for this topic. Just watched Grayson Perry and his show on gender norms. Brilliant, everything I have always felt and had trouble explaining to my SO.
Not anymore.
XxxFor those who don’t know, Grayson Perry has produced a couple of documentaries.
The first was a four part series in 2016 on UK’s ‘All 4’, called ‘Born Risky’.
This is the accompanying blurb from the Channel 4 / All 4 website:
‘In the first film, Grayson talks about his early ventures into cross-dressing as a boy, and his journey to becoming the person and artist he is today.
‘The remaining three films feature Grayson meeting trans people who take great risks to be themselves. The first is transgender model Tschan, 24, who returns to Brixton where she was bullied when younger. The second is Geoff, 66, a transvestite truck driver who has opened ‘Tina’s Hotel’, a haven for other transvestites at his Essex home. The third person Grayson meets is EJ, 42, a female-to-male transgender fashion historian who is now comfortable in his male identity but who bravely wears wear a dress for the first time in 30 years to challenge traditional gender stereotypes.’
The other programme (also 2016) was a three parter, again for Channel 4, called ‘All Man: Grayson Perry on masculinity’
Both deserve to be much more widely watched 🙂
Hugs
Ellie x
I’m surprised no one mentioned this. While the play (and the movie) Kinky Boots is about 50% fiction, it is based on a real event. You can do a search on it to find more info.
Hi Alison
I got the AI facility in Microsoft Bing to tell me the story! Here it is:
The film “Kinky Boots” is based on a true story of a struggling Northamptonshire shoe factory. Steve Pateman, who was in his 30s when he took over his father’s shoe factory, WJ Brookes, was looking for ways to keep the business afloat. The factory had been around for more than a century but was struggling to keep up with the trends of the times. That’s when an opportunity came calling from Sue Sheppard, who owned a business in Folkestone selling transgender specialist glamour wear. Sheppard explained the difficulty of getting hold of well-made women’s shoes that would fit men. Pateman decided to go ahead with the partnership and thus, “Kinky Boots”. The story caught a BBC2 documentary maker’s attention in their “Trouble at the Top” series. After that, Pateman realized he was probably on to something. He couldn’t go anywhere in public without being approached about the documentary. Later, the story was fictionalised and became the basis for the “Kinky Boots” film.’
Incidentally, I’ve unearthed a lot more useful books now (in fact around 40) which is too many to list in a forum post. I’m toying with the idea of producing an article with them grouped into relevant areas (e.g. memoirs, crossdressing handbooks, academic texts, self-help guides and so on). I hope that’s something that people would find interesting 🙂
Ellie x
Hi Dani
I’ve started to draft the article 🙂
Whether it gets approved or not is another matter.
I’ll try and make it more than a simple list of book titles so it’s a bit more interesting for everyone. Otherwise, it could be a bit dry *starts to think hard about how to do this*.
I’m not sure that I can include links to online resources as that might violate site policy, but it’s something that I can investigate. Perhaps, if it IS allowed, it would be best to do that separately in a second article. There’s a lot of VERY useful stuff out there. It would be lovely to share it.
Hugs
Ellie x
..the story was fictionalised and became the basis for the “Kinky Boots” film
and play! In March 2019 I went in to see it en femme on Broadway with my daughter, wearing 4″ heel boots!
A funny thing about that day. My daughter had an art project for school, so we went in early to visit a museum in uptown Manhattan with me wearing the boots. We went into the city by bus, and took a subway train to the museum. (I grew up in NYC so I know the subway system pretty well.) But it was still a several block walk to the museum. By the time we got there, my feet were already hurting. I did a lot of sitting while she did what she needed for her project.
We headed back and took a bus downtown. At some point she told me her friend (who has seen me en femme) and her mother (who never met me) were heading in to see a different show on Broadway. So we headed back to the bus station to wait for them. We went out to a fast food place for dinner.
After dinner we headed to our own individual shows. My daughter and I had a great time at the show. After the show they were collecting for some TG cause. We made a small donation and took a photo with one of the cast members who was collecting.
We headed back to the bus station and got on our bus. I asked my daughter if her friend’s mother knew. She texted her friend. Apparently she knew I was a crossdresser, but didn’t realize I was my daughter’s father until my daughter’s friend told her mother on their bus ride home. When my daughter relayed the message back to me, I thought it was pretty funny. When we reached our stop, I walked in pain on the bridge over the highway and back to our car near the far end of the lot.
My feet were hurting most of the day, and even into the next day. But it was still fun to go see Kinky Boots in my (well, not too) kinky boots.
Why is nobody mentioning: Crossdresserheaven.com
To me this forum has been such nice and helpful and informative place to be. I’ve tried several different Internet forums over the years, CDH is definitely the best. I was a member of Calpernia Adams forum and that was good too but not like this, I don’t even remember the name of the forum.
I’ve been crossdressing for 60+ years and have read some books over the years but nothing compares to this forum.
Hi Clarissa
I guess the reason that no-one pointed me in the direction of Crossdresser Heaven is that I’d clearly already found it 🙂
Joking aside though, I absolutely agree with you that this is the most wonderful source of information.
I’ve just checked, and there have been 337,563 individual forum posts on a total of 32,276 topics since the site launched. I don’t even know how to access some of the older ones, though I’d certainly like to; I’m sure that they’re a treasure trove of extremely valuable information.
*Ellie takes out her Filofax and makes a note to ask the admins how she can access older forum posts*
And of course that’s on top of all of the wonderful articles (currently around 1200 or so).
There’s so much incredible stuff woven through this site, representing the distilled wisdom of all the amazing girls here.
Along with Transgender Heaven, which I’m only just beginning to explore, it’s the best resource of all 🙂
Hugs
Ellie x
The Forums search engine is somewhat limited. We’ve known this and members told us in the recent survey. We’re looking at options.
You can search all forums from here. Look for the search field at the top of the page.
If you want to search a specific forum, you can do it from the search field at the top of that forum’s main page. For example, General Chat “Life as it Goes On”.
If you want to find older forum posts, the easiest way is to go to a specific forum and find the page numbers listed below the last topic on that page – just above the Create New Topic form. If you look closely at the URL (web address) for each page, you’ll notice each page has the page number in the URL. For example, https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/forum/crossdresser-transgender-chat/page/734/ Instead of clicking links, you can simply edit the last bit of the URL to go to another page. For example, change /734/ to /657/.
Hope this helps.
/EA
Thank you so much Emily 🙂
That’s really tremendously useful to me … and well done for getting back to me on a comment buried in the depths of what turned into a rather long thread!
I would have got round to asking how to do it in a more formal way eventually, but you’re such a marvel that you’ve got in first.
Grateful hugs
Ellie x
Hi Ellie
A VERY…long time ago, there was a book called, “Geraldine, For the Love of a Transvestite” .
The film “Just like a Woman” was baed on this book.
Not sure if the book is till around anywhere, but the film used to be available on You Tube, Have not looked for quite some time.
Happy dressing (and investigating).
Caty.
I have benefited from the following:
Gender Dysphoria Bible
https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/
the Heroines of My Life
https://theheroines.blogspot.com/
Male to Female Handbook
Unordinary Style
https://www.unordinarystyle.com/
Hope you all get something out of them!
Podcasts are pretty useful too. I listen to these on Spotify:
Transgender School
The Transgender Show (Great interviews with people who have transitioned)
The TransagendaNot Trans but “girl issues” that can be useful to us MtF folks and it makes me laugh my ass off – Girls Gotta Eat
Hi Ellie
I remembered this one “he’s A Lady”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/He%27s_a_Lady
I had the DVD but gave it to another CD. Some of the makeovers, especially the bridal ones, were stunning!!
Itwas made 20 years ago, so a copy of the above could be hard to find. But You Tube used to have most of the episodes.
Happy dressing and researching
Caty
Hi Ellie,
There’s been so many responses I cant remember whether or not anyone ever mentioned Lee Pace in “Soldiers Girl”
His transformation is just amazing. Oh..tho I have had many a wonderful makeover, to be fussed and pampered the way he was….. It’s the silicon “breastplate” that gets me the most.
Suggest you do more You tube browsing for this one…. There’s a lot there!!
Caty.
I just read ‘Self-less’ by Chloe Scwenke. One of the first trans presidential appointees to high level government position.
Hi Elaine
I asked Chat GPT to provide a summary of the book so that people can see more of what it’s about:
‘The book ‘SELF-ish’ by Chloe Schwenke is a memoir of a transgender woman who shares her life experiences from her childhood in a military family, her career in architecture and human rights, her spiritual journey as a Quaker, and her service as a political appointee under President Obama. The book explores her struggles and achievements as she transitions from a male to a female identity, and how she balances living authentically with living in harmony with others. The book is described as a candid, graceful, and tender account of identity, authenticity, and gender.’
Interestingly, while I was looking up Chloe Schwenke’s book on Amazon I also came across ‘Through the Door of Life: a Jewish journey between genders’ by Joy Ladin. I haven’t read it, but it might be of interest! Again, here is what Chat GPT has to say:
‘The book ‘Through the Door of Life: A Jewish Journey Between Genders’ by Joy Ladin is a memoir of a transgender woman who recounts her transition from a male to a female identity, and how it affected her personal, professional, and spiritual life. Professor Ladin made headlines around the world when, after years of teaching literature at Yeshiva University, she returned to the Orthodox Jewish campus as a woman. She describes her struggles with gender dysphoria, her relationship with God, her loss of family and career, and her quest for authenticity and acceptance. The book is a poetic and honest reflection on identity, gender, and faith.’
Hugs
Ellie x
I can’t remember where. but I heard or read a little bit about Joy Ladin.
As you mentioned, Yeshiva University (and it’s women division, Stern College) are Orthodox. I don’t want to divert this thread or get into religious arguments that will end up closing this thread. But I will say that Orthodox Jews have different opinions on women, and treat them differently.
Hi Ellie,
Here is some good information that will give you some history and possibly a direction forward. Dr. Virginia Prince was a true pioneer and is in many ways responsible for guiding many of us through our difficult early years. https://www.uvic.ca/transgenderarchives/collections/virgina-prince/index.php
Enjoy,
Micki Finn
Hi Ellie, Take a look at “Do You Know Who I Once Was?” A story of an unlikely journey to become one’s true self! by Cami Richardson. My CD hubby and I met Cami at Diva Las Vegas a few years ago, she is a wonderful person and a true ambassador for CD/trans folks. Great insight into her journey. You can get it on Amazon.
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