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Hi Ladies,
I’ve been spending more and more time as Michelle over the last few months as I’ve had support from family members and a dear friend. Although most days I spend at least some time or all the time as Michelle, I haven’t taken any steps towards transitioning. But even with no biological changes, I’ve felt sexual changes in me. I had a short relationship with another man in which I presented as Michelle the entire time and played the role of the woman in the relationship. Since then I’ve felt more and more attraction to men and less to women. On the one hand it seems right becuase it feels like my body is self-correcting itself. On the other hand it is kind of scaring me.
Has this happened to any of you?
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Yes but I’ve always known I was bi. Being with a man who respects you and treats you just like a lady is a wonderful feeling. Given your situation with the kind of support you have I say relax and follow your dreams.
If you’d asked me 10 years ago, I’d have flatly said I have zero interest in men. I can still say men don’t do much for me.
But it’s complicated.
When I started living authentically, it felt like the right thing to do. My desire for more experiences as a woman caused me to think differently. If I’m attracted to the person anything is possible. What’s between their legs doesn’t change that.
Then there’s estrogen. That’s cleaned up a bunch of messy wiring and given me a couple of new erogenous zones. And it’s made one part of my body essentially non-functional. That will get fixed in the future.
Being myself opens up a bunch of new opportunities. They’re all worth exploring.
/EA
Hi Michelle,
Thank you so much for this post. This does reflect a lot of what has happened to me since my wife passed away two years ago. At home I live entirely as a woman in my own space although I don’t go out and I have chosen to keep this from family and friends. I have at the same time started to find men attractive. I have chatted with a couple of men online but have not taken it further as I am not sure if this is what I want.
Ever since I’ve been dressing as Josie I do admit I’ve grown more attracted to men and (to put this as PG as I can) enjoyed thinking about them. Maybe I always was and just denied it, since being close to men in any physical way as a man (such as playing contact sports) always left me feeling weird. It wasn’t disgust. It just felt wrong to me for some reason.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I went to a club fully dressed and a man came over to me and offered his hand to dance with him, which I accepted. We danced for a bit, and afterwards he took my hand and kissed it. I was very turned on by the experience and surprised by how my body responded. I think I’m probably bisexual, but I still haven’t had a full-on experience with a man (well, other than kissing, but that’s another story), so I don’t feel it’s appropriate for me to openly state I’m bisexual, at least not yet.
If there’s one conclusion I can take away from this, it’s that human sexuality is vastly more complex than we thought and any attempt to pin down our sexuality only leads to confusion and frustration, so forget about labeling yourself. Have the experience and enjoy it if you can. And even if you don’t enjoy the experience, at least you’ve gotten to know yourself a little bit better.
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Wow! Thank you all for sharing. I’m so glad that I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand herself. I don’t really know how to describe what’s changing in me, but I think that I want the female experience of sex, to be held in a certain way, and to play the role the has usually been played by women.
Hi ladies,
well i am happy to read that a lot of you women are experiencing the same thing.
I was sure a long time ago that i am not interested at all by men. As long as i dressed as a woman, i was starting to find my place in a relationship dressed as a woman.
I am looking for more attention, to be more the person to receive compliments, be flirted with, etc ….
It is not sure what all these things are meaning and i am scared to try and be with a man in a date or even to go further.I am not sure if i am bi or what but all i know is that a relationship with a man can be considered. I am struggling with the idea and it is comforting to read you girls going through what i am experiencing or maybe you even went to a further stage.
I am looking forward to reading all of you ladies.
kisses
Hi Michelle,
Thanks for the post. I can safely say that I am a little bit bi. This has been on the forums in one way or another a few times. The first time it came out I recounted a time when I was in my late teens and was in Vancouver for work with a two night stay over. Any time I was in Vancouver I for work I’d drive down as Trish and at a rest area just outside of Vancouver I would change to drab. Do what ever I had to do business wise then go to the hotel, dress again as Trish, then go out shopping and site seeing. This particular night I decided to go to a bar for a drink and went to a gay bar as I felt safer there. At one point a guy bought me a drink so I smiled and thanked him. A bit later he came over and introduced him self. Then ran his hand up my leg and told me what beautiful legs I had and asked me if I wanted to dance. I did dance with him a few times. Now I don’t know if it was the drinks or what gentleman he’d been or both but we ended up in my hotel room together and eventually made love. It was something I’ll never forget and still think about it now and then. It’s also something that I’m not ashamed of, it just happened. Would I do it again, probably not as I’m now married and do enjoy women more. That said if there was a spontaneous encounter like it again I would definitely be tempted but I’m not out looking.
Social conditions often force us to repress ourselves from fully manifesting our reality. For males, this is being often compelled to be more masculine than we really are and sometimes far more than we should be or want to be.
Allowing ourselves to recognize and actualize our femininity and permitting ourselves to release this part of true nature can be scary and puzzling.
As your feminine persona develops you become increasingly gender variant. Very often, gender variant males also become sexual identity variant.
I think being in a loving and passionate relationship with another person is a good thing. Your sex is secondary, it is your gender at the time that is significant.
Araminta.
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