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  • #641187
    Kelly Terry
    Participant
    Registered On: February 26, 2018
    Topics: 41
    Replies: 427
    Has thanked: 568 times
    Been thanked: 1898 times

    My wife have Parkinson and have now started having dementia also. This is taking a big toll on me and I feel that my dressing help with my mental state. It’s hard to look in to the eyes of the one you been with and loved for over 30 years and  hear her say things like “go away”, “leave me a lone”, “don’t touch me”, “I know you don’t love me”.
    When she isn’t that bad she many times say she like Kelly better than my male version (not that I know that anything changes besides the clothes) so it’s a win win for both of us when Kelly is out.

    Recently this has become worse to the level that I had to take her to the hospital to get some assessment on what’s going on. It resulting in that we will now get a pile of different home care services, people coming home to help out with different things.

    I was first thinking of putting away all the Kelly stuff but decided on that I will not only skip that, I will let Kelly out even when they are coming by. I already done it to some people who came by to do some physio therapy so it won’t be the first one. whoever comes next. I feel it will be a relief to let Kelly out more and we see how it goes over the next few weeks/months with this. I do hope I can keep her home since no matter what I still love her.

    /kt

Viewing 9 reply threads
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    • #641856
      Kelly Terry
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: February 26, 2018
      Topics: 41
      Replies: 427
      Has thanked: 568 times
      Been thanked: 1898 times

      Just want to say a big thanks to all of you.

      I got several PMs and to all of you – thanks. The lack of response is not that I’m ignoring you but I do have a lot to figure out regarding how to spend the next decades. The expectations I (we?) had regarding growing less young together (travelling to meet family, relax at some cottage,…) are now all but cancelled since she seems to need 24/7 supervision and changing the environment makes things worse.

      This last week I been talking to several different groups and while I earlier resisted accepting help I’m now accepting just about everything that’s offered including government supplied help and friends & family coming over.

      It will be a lot of changes going forward and one thing is that Kelly is now coming out to just about everyone and that makes me feel at ease with that part, no more hiding that side of me.

      /kt

    • #641485
      Alice Black
      Duchess
      Registered On: January 18, 2020
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 238
      Has thanked: 439 times
      Been thanked: 688 times

      My mother had dementia for a number of years and at the end, did not know who I was. My heart goes out to you.

       

      Alice Black

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #641409
      Trish White
      Baroness
      Registered On: December 2, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 192
      Has thanked: 483 times
      Been thanked: 722 times

      That is so sad Kelly, I am so sorry about what you’re going through. My Mom suffered from dementia and it was really tough when a lot of the times I would visit her she didn’t even know who I was. It really isn’t the way you want to remember a loved one that’s for sure. Anytime you just want to talk feel free to message me.

      All my love,

      Trish

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #641404
      Suzanne Martin
      Hostess
      Registered On: January 8, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 70
      Has thanked: 101 times
      Been thanked: 231 times

      Kelly –

      Sorry to hear you are going thru this – if dressing helps you to cope with what you are going thru there is nothing wrong with that – I know my wife and I have had discussions where she says I am in a better mood when I have the chance to dress – prayers for you and your wife

      XOXO

      Suzanne

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #641379
      Jenn Curious
      Lady
      Registered On: April 12, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 6
      Has thanked: 29 times
      Been thanked: 18 times

      That’s very rough. If you ever need to reach out to someone please feel free. Talking to a stranger might be odd, but it can be very helpful.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #641249
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 1204
      Has thanked: 7393 times
      Been thanked: 5990 times

      I’m so sorry to hear of your wifes issues.

      I sent you a PM.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #641243
      Jane Mansfield
      Lady
      Registered On: December 27, 2020
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 211
      Has thanked: 342 times
      Been thanked: 765 times

      Hello Kelly, 30 years together, show love Nd commitment, and possibly your wife knows this when she makes some comments.
      Credit to you for all that you do, but love doesn’t die when sickness enters the home.
      Bringing out Kelly gives you a lift and brightens the home.
      Hope you find some solutions..Best Wishes
      Jane

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #641210
      JessicaCross Johnson
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 25, 2015
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 49
      Has thanked: 147 times
      Been thanked: 163 times

      I can understand what you are going through, my wife fought colon cancer for 7 years and it just got worse and worse as time passed until she had to go to one of the care centers here in town. She went in the middle of June and I spent every day from then until August 1st 2013 when she passed away, I was sitting by her bed holding her hand when she took her final breath, I probably sat there holding her hand for another 5 minutes before I admitted she was gone. I miss her every day since then, sometimes I dissolve into tears which last 10 to 30 minutes before finally letting up, we were married 42 years, mostly wonderful years, there were some bad years but mostly they were good years. One time about 5 or 6 years before the end she told me that if there had been Greyhound bus service from Alaska to Asheville she would have left me but we carried on and lasted through the end, We lost a son and then her and now my daughter has become alienated and is living her own life. But my crossdressing has become my way of coping thru’ the losses. One day I will become public and meet other CD’s like me.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #641477
        Jane Mansfield
        Lady
        Registered On: December 27, 2020
        Topics: 4
        Replies: 211
        Has thanked: 342 times
        Been thanked: 765 times

        Hello Jessica cross, welcome to a site where our ladies are good listeners, and compassionate. You have fought many tough battles, so you have shown love and understanding.
        Our dressing gives us the opportunity to live our femme lives, you deserve to feel beautiful in your favourite things.
        Love to follow your journey. Live life.
        Best Wishes
        Jane

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #641206
      Brielle Ross
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 409
      Has thanked: 2030 times
      Been thanked: 1798 times

      Hi Kelly, I am so sorry your wife is struggling with these problems. Many times, this can drive us into a deeper closet – as if dressing is somehow being “selfish”. You and yiour wife have a very healthy attitude about thgis, and if she prefers Kelly around, why not make things as easy as you can for you both? The people coming to care for her will at the least be unconcerned about your appearance to focus on your wife’s care, and at best, it can be a bonding opportunity among you all.

      Even at this stage, I believe your wife sees the authenitc you, and she knows the “male version” is less open and vulnerable than Kelly is.

      Take care of yourself as you go down this path! I wish peace to you both.

      Hugs,

      Brie

    • #641188
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 998
      Has thanked: 3690 times
      Been thanked: 4658 times

      Kelly you are a hero.  Dealing with dementia is not something that many want to deal with, even with a partner. It will not be an easy task but I hope you get the support you need and that your love for your wife will get you through.  If dressing is your release and is appreciated by your wife then you go girl. What does it matter to your visitors as it could actually be a benefit as in her dark moments a female form may be of comfort to her.

      All your focus is on her but never neglect yourself and seek respite if things get on top of you so you can take time out and recharge.

       

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