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  • #395152
    Regine Rich
    Participant
    Registered On: October 9, 2020
    Topics: 5
    Replies: 73
    Has thanked: 723 times
    Been thanked: 167 times

    So, girls, I am just going to throw this out there.
    Since I have finally come to terms with my feelings on this subject, I have purchased quite a few items, and im wearing my panties all the time, and plan to dress, when I can. the issue there, is my wife is housebound, so the only opportunity I will have is an hr or 2,sat. and sun. mornings when she naps.
    I want to tell her about it, but here is the problem,
    We have been together over 40 years, and I have always been a complete mans man, to the extreme, I am ashamed to say, of being somewhat homo-phobic, I think to cover my own inner feelings of disquiet,( which I did not fully admit to, or acknowledge, until now)
    so my issue, and question is, how in the world do I go about broaching this subject? I have never even given the slightest hint that I am this way? Remembering, we are both as “old school”, as they come?
    I will understand, if I am banned or otherwise ostracized for being one of “those A-holes” all my life, but I really hope instead, you wonderful people offer me guidance?
    Regine.

Viewing 8 reply threads
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    • #395764
      Celeste Starre
      Participant
      Registered On: June 26, 2018
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 573
      Has thanked: 141 times
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      My experience has been that sometimes it goes well and sometimes it doesn’t.  Best advice is to think: “What’s the worst that could happen.”   If you can live with that then go for it.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #395762
      Regine Rich
      Participant
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 73
      Has thanked: 723 times
      Been thanked: 167 times

      An update on my journey:-)
      I took a page from someones post, im sorry don’t remember whose, I bought my SO a couple pair of new lounge pants, as some of hers where stretched and she needs the elastic. I told her I would wear her old ones, and she said great:-) so im now sitting here, in pretty pink lounge wear, with pink and red flowers all over them(with my favourite pink lace bikini’s under),small steps:-)

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #395605
      Regine Rich
      Participant
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 73
      Has thanked: 723 times
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      Thank you Patty, so many things to consider. I think,,after reading another post fully through,”Dont Tell”, I am going to wait, this is a life changing event, for sure, no matter which way.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #395508
      patty williams
      Participant
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
      Topics: 62
      Replies: 1135
      Has thanked: 1755 times
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      HI Regine,

      I too dont want to tell you either way,what you should or shouldn’t do OK.

      All I can do is offer my experience OK hon.

      I really let my feminine side out after my wife and I were spicing up our intimate side and I wore some high heeled boots.

      I fell in love with heels and Patty right away.

      My wife was very supportive at first and she bought my first pair of black pumps.

      However when I started exhibiting female mannerisms  it turned my wife totally off.

      As I started wearing more feminine stuff it affected our marriage negatively.

      I tried to stay within her boundaries but it has killed our intimacy I have found.

      We are still happily married and love each other very much ,still hold hands and kiss, but Out bed room intimacy is gone forever I am afraid.

      Honestly though I couldn’t stop to save our intimacy if I wanted too.

      Patty is who I am and I love being feminine so much.

       

      I dont agree with keeping things from your spouse but at the same time I value a marriage so much.

      I hope this experience helps you or some other girls come to your own conclusion and path.

      I love you all Patty

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #395483
      Regine Rich
      Participant
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 73
      Has thanked: 723 times
      Been thanked: 167 times

      Thank you all for your replies. I do hate keeping a secret from her, honesty and openness has always been the cornerstone of our relationship, but, this is a huge thing. I want to tell her,it is nowhere near a sexual thing, its more of feeling good, and i must admt, looking pretty:-)
      will take some more thouht, me thinks.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #395194
      Stephanie Green
      Participant
      Registered On: September 12, 2020
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 90
      Has thanked: 99 times
      Been thanked: 395 times

      That’s a difficult question, Regine.  Knowing you only from your post and not knowing your wife at all, I hesitate to offer advice.  Another reason that I hesitate to offer advice is that when I told my SO, everything just blew up in my face.  All of the preparation, the planned responses to what I thought would be her reaction were useless when she took my revelation far worse than I thought she would.  I won’t suggest what you should say or how you should say it.  You’ll have to figure that out for yourself.  I do recommend that you know exactly what you want to tell her, and do what you can to make sure you get that message across.  As far as dealing with her reaction goes, expect the unexpected.  Be prepared for the worst.  I don’t mean to be a downer.  She may be OK with your cross-dressing.  You just have to be ready in case she is not OK with it.

    • #395169
      Bettylou Cox
      Participant
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 1438
      Has thanked: 2350 times
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      Hi Regine,

      We had been married 50 years when I told my wife of my desire to wear women’s clothes,  Her first response was “are you turning gay in your old age?”  I was certain she wouldn’t leave me or kick me out, but I was worried about losing her respect.  I also had a history of being an MCP (male chauvinist pig), which I have tried to live down.  After convincing her that she would always be my one-ad-only, and giving her the right to put limits on my Dressing as she felt necessary, she agreed to accept Bettylou.  And this from an elderly, Conservative Christian member of a Pentecostal church denomination. (We both are).

      Revealing yourself can be scary to contemplate, but it’s better than keeping secrets from your SO…and she may surprise you; mine sure did.

      Hugs,

      Bettylou

    • #395167
      Sandy Jayson
      Participant
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 199
      Has thanked: 498 times
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      I see your problem Regine.  I to was part of what you called the ” old school” thinking.  for the last year and half Iv’e been searching deeper for my feminine side.  It might work best if you worked with a 3rd person to help you ease into the conversation with you wife.

      Sandy

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #395163
      Olivia Livin
      Participant
      Registered On: October 22, 2018
      Topics: 35
      Replies: 1454
      Has thanked: 6244 times
      Been thanked: 3378 times

      One of the blessings that comes with this is the change in our mindset as we start to see things from the other side of the fence. We aren’t always who we once were….evolution!

      I can’t offer much help in starting the conversation but if you’ve been together that long and have a strong bond hopefully she’ll be understanding.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
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