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Just been thinking of leaving the site at the first of year. Since had my surgeries been thinking maybe should continue my journey on own and see where it leads. I know not a CD anymore unless decide to go male drab. Never happen. Maybe to trans heaven see what on the that side. Really confused sorta of.
Imagine some thinking should have gone through this much transiton I will say I would do it again.
Will keep everyone one for sure on final choice. Going to continue here till end of Dec.
Love and hugs
Donna
I for one would be sad to see you go!
I know Dianne hate to leave some great friends made through my journey too. Also thinking maybe just taking another break for awhile also and see what out there. once healed and all.
Would hate to have you leave us, love! Having said that, isn’t there a site called Transgender Heaven, and would you feel more comfortable there? All the best on your journey.
Hugs and Kisses
Fredrikayes there is a site transgender heaven seems could be somewhere. still going to be debating on things Just know and excited also on where my life and journey will be or lead too. A new life and new beginning on the way and hoping for no or small bumps on the way too.
Doona
IDK alice seems more a woman now or want to label me a trans. But am holding on of being both places same time.
Donna
Dear Donna ,
I was afraid this was going to happen.
We love you and don’t want you to leave CDH girl !
But I understand that TGH may be the site for you , now that you have transitioned.
No matter what you decide , know that we Love you and support You where-ever you go !P.S. Don’t be surprised if you will meet some of us on TGH if you decide to go there.
Love Sylvia.
thank you so much Sylvia have not made a final choice yet but seems like leaning more towards Trans Heaven or maybe like Alice said both could be a idea. I know seen few here over there too. Remember one that was here maybe still is Polly but know she went to TDH. What makes it hard is made so many friends here that helped me move forward through my journey and so many other choices. Love all you ladies and know the support and wishes from all of you
Donna
Hi Donna,
Polly and I would be sad to see you leave but understand this could be the next step in your journey.
Love and hugs from Stephanie and Polly 💖thank you steph and polly realizing at a crossroads and little lost in away and trying to decide which way to turn that would lead to other things on the way. really kinda confused at the time. Just did make mind up for the date of doing something.
Donna
Hi Donna
Last time I looked, this is a CD support site.
You fit right in, as you have great experience and practical advice to give us girls – as far as I am concerned, you are one of us, and should stick around as long as you like.
And I’ll pillow fight anyone who says different.
Love Laura
awww thank you Laura means alot Know all of you ladies been such inspiration in my journey while here also. And know have helped many to go forward too.
Hugs
Donna
Hi Donna
I hope you don’t go
All girls here are trans
some will never say so, but we must be, why are we here?
we have a femme name and a femme identity, so we must all be trans- just its a very broad spectrum
To me CD is just someone who is trans
Love to you all
Emily
You really right Emily we all end up in the same position. Know kinda of look at it same way. Love you and all the ladies here. Hugs
Donna
Im Not out as Trans or a CD
But, myself and my wife dress in jeans and tops, most days
i don’t need to wear stockings to be in touch with my femme side
For me it’s just who i am
thank you Emily Just know now not much of anything male self of me now all girly looking from head to toe. Don’t know why even label myself trans am a woman in my eyes and soon will be legally female once able to get out and about.
Donna
I just want to say be true to yourself
and please don’t go
thanks emily something told myself once get to this point in transtion as for going or staying right now leaning both sides of the coin.
Donna
I come to this site,
here on this internet,
where you can connect to anyone (but only in English)
Mostly to have fun, but also to connect with others who feel like me
I don’t want anyone to feel excluded
Please don’t go Donna
Love Emily
thank you liara little confusing at times being at a crossroad and searching for the right direction to get to the next step of journey or stay awhile and learn more Or even go over to the sister site Trans heaven. or both.
Hugs
Donna
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OH NO! I would really hate to see you leave… but I understand… its your own personal journey and you need to do whats best for Donna. If you do go I hope you will visit us sometimes because you were and are a huge inspiration for all of us who cannot get out of that closet or transition. You have contributed so much here and helped so many girls. For all the girls who have gotten to know you here, you will always be in our hearts. Good luck on what ever you decide.
thank you so much Michelle Know many here inspired me to do everything have done in my journey actually all the ladies here moved forward by 12 months. Was going to wait to do bottom after retiring end of next year. but decided had the medical time off paid of course. So did many things early. Promise if do decide on something will keep my account active just may not be on much. While spreading wings and experience womanhood .
Hugs
Donna
Crossdresser or not you are one of us, would hate to see you go
thank Sophie I know I am and do appricate it. Like said to michelle have decided will keep account here but will not be as active as have in past. Just needing to move on and explore my new life and options as a woman.
Donna
I for one say you should stay. You are always gonna be one of the girls and if you decide to leave us you will be missed. You have brought so much joy and encouragement to so many of us. I for one adore your presence and wish you all the best in your future.
💘
Trisha
thank you so much trisha means alot and do appricate you done and all the other girls done.
Hugs
donna
Donna I for one hope you decide to stay. There are every spectrum of girls here, from the SO’s, to the plain crossdressers, to those of us who consider ourselves trans but not going any further. We have had this discussion recently, on here, and there is no one of us, not welcome here.
Your posts, responses, and compassion for others here, have helped so many of us girls, and I know you would continue to do so, if you stay.
Please, dont go
Hugs, Regi👸💖thank you regina and understand at times after doing my transition can see the crossroads of choices just picking the right choice without leaving behind all that helped me through my journey and then all the ones I helped with their journey. Maybe just HRT and emotions playing with my mind. Don’t want to leave. Just confused if be better to be in trans heaven or maybe just go at alone and see know can always come back. Know just saying different things here and there. still have plenty of time to do something since still limited on what can and can’t do while healing. at least a 6 week to 8 week min
Hugs
Donna
Donna, thanks for all you have given to us (me) so far. What I mean is thank you for sharing your story. For me I would never go that far, I don’t hate my male parts except where they distract from from displaying the female self I want to present to the world. I am thinking about starting hrt and you and those like you having gone down this road. you all are helping me make some of these big choices
I love being a woman?? am I pretending or just showing what is deeeepinside myself?? Still trying to figure some of this out.. . .Cassie
welcome cassie actually when I woke up after my surgery felt for some time is what did I do. Then realized in more rational thought that something had to be done. Knowing things get better. Know many would never go the distance suppose one of those things that emotionally have to do it or need to do it. As for your HRT as time goes on will feel many emotions maybe different from others it is slow process nothng over night. For me so far love being a woman even the periods having for now or similar to them. Be last of those after this stops.
Donna
Donna sweetie, labels do not matter, sometimes the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. As with many groups there is a divided opinions of the level of acceptance. I hope you stay its a site for all levels regardless, but at the same time wish luck and happiness and peace if you move on.
Lol Amanda xx
thank you Amanda will consider the options
Donna
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Donna I am so happy for you in your transition and wish you the best. I encourage you to stay here for at least a little longer than the first of the year to continue with a support group you know and that knows and cares about you. Maybe you are now the “Ultimate Crossdresser” as well as a true lady now but we are, have been and will always be here for you. Keep those support lines available until things are completely settled down in case you need them. Good luck no matter what choice you choose.
🍷Cthank you carolyne might be right and know all the ladies here are so supportive best group to be at. lol the ultimate Cd very passable and no more tucking hehe. I know the light is always on at CDH and really do consider CDH as home.
hugs
Donna
Hi Donna,
I have been looking forward to your posts since I first signed up here! I would hate to see you leave us, but certainly understand if you decide to.
Now that you are a beautiful butterfly you have to spread your wings! I hope you can fly back to see us from time to time!
Best of luck, and good fortune to you what ever you decide!
Lara
thank you Lara butterfly will be ready to do some flying in 6 to 8 weeks but after talking with someone earlier and appricate her response will consider staying around longer. Do know the inspiration and support from all of the ladies here are outstanding and do understand many do wanting to go further along as many are content to be theirselves.
Hugs
Donna
Dear Donna:
Some say the best part of an adventure is not the destination, but the journey. I dunno… Since finally arriving here on CDH, I’ve never been happier finally knowing who I am.
This may not be popular, but I don’t think your journey is quite finished yet and I think you’re brave to walk on your own and find your way.
When Moses left his flock for a while, he came back with two impressive stone tablets! And I’m still trying to make amends for breaking about 6/10!
Of course I’d like you to stay. Perhaps in time your new wisdom would benefit others. Would you consider being an Ambassador for us? No pressure…
At least we’ll still have fun with you until the New Year!
💓 Barb
HI Barb thank you so much for the offer tempting offfer as Ambassder but will pass on that for now. Maybe one day could do it. I am lady And possible maybe right may not be over yet. As for who I am now and who was know and feel more than a woman. Have been very happy to help anyone that looking for help and know asked many for things too in past. Know everyone been so supportive.
IDK maybe just emotions tonight been kinda crazy. and thoughts being scattered on so many things going on. Know we all will have a good time no matter the date.
Hugs
Donna
thank you Kate best on this is do feel at home here. And do know if did flee even if was for little time to go out alone and find out meanings of life as a woman. Imagine would be back again.
Hugs
Donna-
I couldn’t agree with Kate more. If this is where you feel most comfortable, then stay here. If it’s Trans Heaven, then do that. Even if you decide to go it on your own, please know that there’s ALWAYS a spot at the table here for you!!
*kisses* tara 🙂
thank you Tara starting to realize among some great ladies here and never know might stumble on the way and may need some help gettting back up on the way
Donna
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Exactly! And we’ll always be here for you!
Oh Donna, I will miss you hon, 😢… one of your posts you mentioned that you be part time that would be so special… you have been so open with all your femeninization surgeries. I was just hoping you would consider relating your experience now that you are the woman you are meant to be.. to the other ladies who are yours friends and considering their transition, just saying.
I hope you are feeling better and the post-op is going well..
Whatever you decide… I will cherish our friendship…
Hugs, Leonarathank you so much Leonara after some though going to stick around more but also planning on joining trans heaven too. Be hard to leave friends that care so deeply and would feel bad if did that too. No worries Leonara will not leave perm but will once get better and healed will explore more everything have and learned from all here. and to experience womanhood on the outside world. As I will always cherish friendship among you and all the others here.
Hugs
Donna
Donna
First off thank you for your engagement and all the love you gave to CDH with your posts and comments, advice, words of wisdom etc.. this site saved me and people like you that gave more than they got made this place a better place. If we all use you as an example of engagement and paying forward this world would be much better.
Second congrats on your surgery. I’m very happy for you and glad that you seem to be recovering well !❤️
Lastly I think there is no black and white answer. As Kate said early on…if you are comfortable here then stay…maybe you don’t get on as much but it’s somewhat like going back to the neighborhood that you grew up in. It feels good when you get here and you stay a while but then you have to go back to your next home. You will always be welcome by so many and I hope you know that you have made such a positive impact on so many.
I’m not saying good bye no matter what you decide…I’ll just say “see you later”. Love you
Hugs
Carole
Thank you Carole for everything you and others do here best site to be on so many ladies that supportive and cherish their friendships also. Have been very comfortable here may even feel somewhat lost if ever did split. But right on some of the others maybe need to take somewhat of a break to explore more on journey. Know many things need to do myself while others the support of a great home sweet home like CDH. not saying good bye either suppose more of a new journey soon. When the time come Know always have a home and family and friends. Know will see me around
love you and all the ladies
hugs
Donna
Donna,
It’s selfish of me i know but please stay with us.
CDH or Trans Heaven doesn’t matter which as long as you are still here.You inspired me to call my local Trans Health Center to begin hormone therapy. So please, please, please, stay with us in some form or another.
I/we need you.
please.
-joannethank you so much Joanne and that does mean so much to me happy to hear have inspired you to do this. Do have a real soft spot and do know and consideration planning on sticking around longer. Hard to leave friends. Wll figure something out once able to get out and continue my new found life and to end my old life behind as male self.
Hugs Donna
Hi Donna,
it’s your decision but I hope you stay. You’re still on a journey I’m sure and you might as well do it with friends! Also, the question “First realized transgender?” Is in the CDH profile. The assumption is built right into this site so you may as well stay… or join both, I’m not the boss of you girl!
You should stay though!
— Abbie 🥰😘
hi abbie thank you so much and maybe right can do both and serve both communities then of course imagine can explore my new life also in the real world also.
Hugs
Donna
Hi Donna,
Obviously you have to make the choice that’s right for you.
There are a number of girls here that are questioning or know they are trans. I’m one of them. Being able to talk to someone that’s already transitioned would be immensely helpful to those of us that may follow in your footsteps. If you were willing to share your experiences and wisdom, it would be greatly appreciated.
Emily
Hi Emily be more then happy to share
Donna
thank you abbie words of wisdom
Donna
Hi Donna,
Obviously you have to make the choice that’s right for you.
There are some girls here that are questioning or know they are trans. I’m one of them. Being able to talk to someone that’s already transitioned would be immensely helpful. If you were willing to share your experiences and wisdom, it would be greatly appreciated.
Emily
thank you so much Paula will take everything into consideration.
Hugs
Donna
Hi Donna. When you were away for your surgeries there was a certain “flavor” missing from the forums. I am glad you brought it back.
As I identify as trans, I am a member at TGH, though I spend very little time there. Why is that? Minimal activity there has been my experience.
And my conjecture as to why that is? The girls there are more “out”; thereby their support structure can be / is more real than virtual. I get that, but that doesn’t lend much help to we who are non-transitioning for whatever reason. So as full of life as you seem to be, TDH may be a bit . . . . hmmm, . . . quite? for you.
Finally, having been at various on line T communities for a number of years here is my observation. Once a woman “finishes” [read: recovers from her bottom surgery] she steps away from the community. Her voice / perspective is gone from the group. Left is a void, a vacuum; of experience and perspective we need. Again I understand that.
I for one have appreciated your perspective as a transitioning trans woman. It has encouraged me to reexamine the possibility of venturing into the transition pool. The voice of experience I hope to continue to hear is that of life after “full” transition. What’s it like to live there.
Kindly,
Charlene
Donna,
I have a question to ask.
When you joined you had a reason and hope.
It served you well.
If you do leave us ( tears !)-
For what reason and do you need to wean yourself from us? If you can answer that with assurance then you have my blessing.
Not that I have any say in this. If something appears that spurs you on to new things then fine-‘that is positive.
However, be assured we “ go with you”-
We have been blessed through your story.
Friendship will not cease.😊😊😊😊Love Anya x
we all have a reason and hope maybe some looking for more answers to questions. As for serving me well can say some did. As for why I don’t know why why asking opinions confused and depressed.
Donna
Hi Donna, I will echo the others here and say I will miss you so much! I understand if you feel you need to move on after you have “graduated” (you have gone through the process with flying colors and distinction!) but I will miss your reasoned questions and responses in the posts. I joined TGH early on to get the perspective of those furthering their journey on the spectrum, but also feel like that site is less colorful and fun-loving as CDH so I spend most of my time here.
I am just starting my own journey, and I know this sounds a bit selfish, but I need women like you to help me through the rough spots; women like you who have gone past my point on the spectrum to tell me what it’s like beyond the point of doubt and frustration I feel now and will feel during the process.
If you gravitate away from both sites I do get it, but I will miss you terribly. Plus, I haven’t seen the “after” pics to see how beautiful you are now – at least on the outside. We all know how beautiful you are on the inside, GF! We all see that you have blossomed into this wonderfully precious butterfly, and we want to enjoy your presence for a while longer!!
With tons of hugs and kisses,
Brielle
Interesting, I came back over to CDH after a time on TGH. I probably fall somewhere in between, but I just didn’t get the angst and darkness that seems to accompany transitioning! I love feeling and looking fem, but it seems that many really struggle with gender identity, depression, etc. While I understand the loneliness and lack of acknowledgment that those of us that know it is deeper than being a CD experience, I found it too depressing for this girl😔
Haley😘
Starting to relate somewhat on those feelings. despression some guilt maybe just so use to doing things and take my mind of other things. Maybe once healed things be better. Just don’t know till cross that bridge.
Donna
Please don’t go. You have valuable experience you could put to really good use supporting others who are on the same road as you.
Connie
xxx
you right connie Know still belong here to help others on the way too. Then maybe go on the other side TH for more options too. I suppose why depressed somewhat is normally active girl and Know nothing can do about it except time. to heal. Right now just kinda feeling helpless and hardly not much can do.
Drive a person little crazy at times.
Donna
No worries Dee more thinking more will stay right now just feeling little helpless due to lack of activity from surgery normally active person. Hate just having to lay around and not able to do much. But really knew that when did the procedure be laid up for some time. But now just making me little depress.
hugs
Donna
Donna, you still have so much to offer. There’s really no reason not to stay. I know you have said that your mind is not made up. Here’s one more girl hoping you’ll stick around. 🥰
Much love,
Raquel
thank you Raquel more think about it more going to stick around have such a great support here already. Maybe will expand on horizon some. on trans Heaven also. Know many here inspired me and heard from many that helped inspired also.
Much love
Donna
Hi Rebekka promise will
Donna
Hi Donna Why would you even think about not belonging here We here represent a very wide spectrum and you are a part of that spectrum . Cross dressing started for most of us at or about the same time. There are those who still enjoy dabbling in it from time to time. Then there are those who truly believe they were born in the wrong body. No matter where you are at in that spectrum we all understand each other I too am a member in both CDH and TGH both have their attributes that is for sure. I feel I can relate to the cross dressing site more because I can look back and see where I have been and want to contribute my experiences and point of view. It amazes me how much has not changed the guilt the shame, the hiding, the feeling of being alone with our thoughts. Less not forget dealing with telling our SO after we all thought this would all go away You have a unique perspective to contribute. I would bet that if you asked the question How many would prefer to live as woman full time 24/7. 50% would say yes Reality is most cross dressers do not have a clue what it would be like to survive as a woman but the thought of it creates excitement just to know what it would be like. I believe that is what makes us so special we all want to understand and feel what it is like. I certainly do not know many men that want to feel what its like to be a woman in every day life. I still today do not understand WHY we are like this but frankly i do not care anymore i just accept this is just apart of me that needs to be expressed. Your journey in life while dealing with your desire to be something everyone told you were not is quite inspirational to say the least. Surviving as full time woman is something you will have to learn. I do admire your courage and ability to make things right for your self. No you are not a cross dresser anymore but you do understand the heart and mind of a cross dresser that is for sure. That my dear is something special for very few truly understand. I am truly happy for you. Having your brain and body in perfect harmony is something I would defiantly have to get used too.
Luv Stephanie
WELL said. How true.
Hope you felt the hand of love in that Donna.
Thanks Stephanie- just the ticket.
Anya x
you so right steph if ought to belong here or there or whereever choose. Tired of the bad vibes sometimes get.
hugs
Donna
Donna if you are on Facebook, pm me here.. there are great trans women support groups there that I am a member of, and 1 I started myself but have since handed leadership over to another T girl.. 🏳️⚧️🌸
thanks Effie only thing is promised myself not to ever sign up again on Facebook. Thank you for thought. also. oh found few others on reddit
Hugs
Donna
Understandable.. have a great week! 🌸
thank you Effie how the group going over that way on FB
Hugs Donna
Hope your week is good too.
It’s great! Im also in an FFS group as I plan for surgery in 2022..🌸💕
Morning effie please if can keep us updated Do know so exciting already today is my one week post op and feeling pretty good. so far.
Hugs
DonnaI will! At the moment I’m considering jaw surgery and lip lift..but I want to give HRT about a year to year and a half and see what changes have come to my face via fat redistribution 🌸🌼
Understandable Effie myself had some things done to my face back in Oct also voice Could have gave HRT longer to see on face and all but decided to speed it up some. Wishing you the best through your journey
Donna
🏳️⚧️🧡💜
I understand Donna, as you are now the complete woman. I would like to see you come in at times to offer your experiences and support though. You have chronicled your journey very honestly and openly. It has been thought provoking and has made a lot of us here think about their lives. Whatever your decision you have been a prominent part of this site and a huge thanks to you.
thank you so much Angela with many of comments here makes me so happy that have helped many ladies here through their journey. Do know when first started here almost year ago followed several girls here on their transtions. and helped me alot too. As for updating on my journey sometimes wish could say more but imagine would go over the line some. Angela with alot thought and alot pm as well as my loving mother they all changed my mind and told me almost same thing as many have said here why leave when have so many ladies that support you and you support them. So with this thought would like to lock this thread. But really don’t want it deleted. Could help others with reading it.
Hugs
Donna
After reading through all the comments and interactions from everyone, I come up with an armchair analysis.
Donna is no longer one of us. (Wooo up, steady on. What you talking about MJ? )
By no longer being one of us, I mean she is “All Woman.” She is no longer a man playing dressup. She is no longer a mtf trans. She has completly left the male sphere behind. (Completely cut her self from her once male self… I know. Pun intended.)
It’s right and proper for her to question where she belongs. How does she fit.
Of course, we, (All the members of CDH) want her to stay. But, as who, do we want Donna to stay as? Interestingly I suspect that there is a large subconscious measure of grief, because she is no longer one of us.
I acknowledge there are a large number of trans girls here, who do want to go the whole shebang… But I don’t know anyone else who has gone the whole cutitofferme.
Lots of unpacking to do. New identity to discover. Eg, Donna much of your journey, and adventure had an adrenaline rush of a destination to arrive to. Much of your identity was based on that actual transition. Now you have arrived. Now what? (All those plans are finalized. Bingo. You arrived. You now emerge as??? )
I get it your confused, and questioning things. Not to mention being in pain, doesn’t help much.
We all are in uncharted territory here. Donna isn’t a man playing dressups. Nor is she a female in a mans body. She is now a woman in a womans body.
The question to ask is if Donna belongs in the Cis Woman arena of this site? (I suspect this is unchartered territory. ) With a great risk of treading on toes I hesitantly say maybe not.
Donna. Sorry if I have read the situation wrong, and treading on toes if what I said has missed the mark. Or have trodden on toes, being spot on.
Anyways…. what next?
Problem there MJ not a cis woman so can’t be in that group as for the other things pretty sure able to stay in CDH unless staff says no. Planning on staying like it or not. giggles on what next is planning on healing then getting back to work then possible exploring my new journey of trans woman hood.
Donna
thank you bridgette after long talks and better thoughts just can’t leave all my friends here and all the other ladies. Know they gave me faith and know gave many same.
Hugs
Donna
HI sis no final choice yet but do know the final word be next month confusion is a hard choice to make being somewhere for so long and then trying to decide is it time to leave the nest to gain more on journey or maybe stay and fly from CDH to TDH and back. Could be possible outcome. Just hate goodbyes to all the beautiful ladies here and also this lady also wanting to spread her wings soon to find out how life will be.
Donna
thank you bobbi means alot. Actually the procedure done if could do it over again would have done the other one where they use some of colon wall to make the canal so self lubicates one got do need to use lub. But do notice while do dilation has caused some lubication alone. then of course they other zero depth that one less healing and recovery time.
Hugs
Donnathank you Mary Jane I do try to tell whole story some just unable to due to nature of staying in the line and not going over it. Love that story go figure hmm.. lol.
Hugs
DonnaI agree Mary Jane, I do enjoy a story that is not forced upon us….. i think a good honest story about our journey helps us all – thank you Donna.
Now… not that I have seen anyone trying to force something on someone again – unless there is something new I missed. Or if its just the old posts that have already been dealt with…? You can report any new issues…. and please do!
Stevie
Welcome Rach
Donna
thank you so much steph words of the wise.
Hugs
Donna
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