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I started wearing female undergarments in earnest a few months ago and then purchased some clothes and a wig discreetly online and went out a few times to a mall and/or grocery store en femme. Those outings were intense and scary but I managed to survive and was thrilled with the experience of feeling feminine. This weekend, my wife is out of town for several days and I decided to go all out. I rented a hotel room in a city about 2.5 hours away, left every stitch of male clothing behind, and ventured out. Before I left home, I painted my nails, did my makeup, waxed my privates, and dressed in some ripped jeans, a cute top, and sandals. I needed some things to round out my wardrobe so I stopped to shop at a Target along the way, and the guy pushing the carts back to the store greeted me with “have a nice evening maam”. I wondered if he was sincere because I was certain everyone in the crowded store knew I was a guy dressed as a woman.
My biggest concern was checking into my hotel since I was registered as a man. I removed my wig, threw on a baseball cap, changed into a plain woman’s T-shirt, and covered my nailpolish on 3 fingers with finger covers to hide my pretty pink nails from the clerk. After getting into my room, I switched my shirt back to my cute, femme top, put my wig back on, and went out the back door to get the remainder of my luggage. Unfortunately, I forgot to prop the door open and had to go back in the front door past the clerk who surely recognized me since it was late and I was the only one coming and going…. oh, well.
Being en femme 24×7 for 3 days is a huge risk for me because 1) I don’t have a femme voice worked out yet, and 2) I can’t wear eye makeup. I’m 60-ish, trim and very athletic, but have bags under my eyes and flaps on my eyelids… I can’t begin to figure out how to do anything with makeup around my eyes… it feels hopeless without cosmetic surgery. So I’ve resorted to wearing large, stylish sunglasses whenever out in public, even when running to get ice, coffee and water at my hotel. Also, when I shop or go out to eat, I’m only going places that have self-service ordering / checkout like Panera Bread, McDonalds, Target, Walmart, and most large grocery stores since my voice must be a dead giveaway. If only I could eat out at a nice restaurant and order a glass of wine feeling confident in my voice and that know one will ask to look at my ID.
The whole weekend is an amazing turn on especially shopping for and wearing cute outfits. I successfully shopped for and purchased an adorable running outfit and shoes and loved the feeling of the clothes hugging my body. I was able to go out for lunch, dinner & shopping in a new pencil dress & top …. the key to that oufit was the shapewear waste nipper that kept my love handles & pooching tummy in check. I felt very turned on and even mildly sexy to the outside world. Now I know why my wife is addicted to shopping for and buying new, cute clothes… I get it… if nothing else, I have a new appreciation for who she is a woman, and I love her for it.
I will continue to enjoy this weekend with a smile plastered on my face. Hopefully, I’ll become more confident while out in public, not turning away from everyone looking my way, being prepared to lift my adam’s apple and greet others with a soft “hello” or “good morning”. I want to be able to confidently look others in the eye and throw them a cute smile which I know that I have and is the one thing I’m not certain isn’t a dead giveaway to my true gender.
Did I really leave all my male clothes at home for 72 hours to face the world En Femme?!?! That takes some balls!!! …. OH… I’ve got those…. how do I hide them so no one sees a bulge in my leggings?!?!? LOL
I have found that if you do just as you said, smile, feel good and like you are just doing why you normally do, then others not only accept you, but feel moved enough to make a nice comment, or talk to you like an old friend, no matter how convincing you are.
Bottom line: Really don’t worry about it.
Just enjoy being out and about – it makes such a change from doing ordinary things in male clothes that the mundane becomes the sublime.
I don’t know about a turn on though – that’s not why I do it, or what I get from it – and if you are doing it just for kicks, maybe there’s a guilty side of you showing through?
Try to dress down and enjoy the lighter side – there are plenty of delightful dresses which aren’t overtly sexy but are feminine in a surprisingly delicious way that just brings a smile to your face and eyes.
Save sexy for that type of club!
Love Laura
The sexiest thing I did last weekend, which, Seriously, I used to get horny thinking about in my teens, was to go playing Marilyn on the pier.
A knee-length skirt of the lightest material I could find, which didn’t stand a chance vs the gales blowing up from the sea.
So many women were wearing similarly inappropriate skirts and dresses, and letting the panties free, I felt right at home, and got some lovely smiles, especially from women who got caught at the same time as me.
It’s all about context – and maybe you’re the type who likes a dramatic context, which is fine, but fishnet shorts with a tiny thong underneath looks weird in a department store. I saw a young girl dressed that way yesterday, and it looked silly, not sexy. And I love women’s outfits!
An appropriate outfit will give you a great time, if you’re new to cross dressing in public – everything else is icing.
Love Laura
Laura,
This reply / snip: “It’s all about context – and maybe you’re the type who likes a dramatic context, which is fine, but fishnet shorts with a tiny thong underneath looks weird in a department store.”
Could this have been posted to the wrong thread? There was nothing in this post re: fishnet shorts / thong. Did I misunderstand your reply?
Emma!
Laura,
Really appreciate your post. Been thinking about it for awhile. “Turn on” may be the wrong phrase… I feel very sensual en femme…. a feeling that I don’t ever feel drab. I know that I’m still very attracted to females and maybe it’s my identification with that which is generating those delightful feelings! Hard to put into words! I’m trying to follow your train of thought about a guilty side coming through as it relates to being turned on or feeling sensual… what am I missing?
Thanks, Emma
I’m forgetting, as I get older, that the sensuous feel of the clothing can be a real turn on. I only really felt that in my teens and early 20s.
I’ve been dressing on and off so long that it’s long become simply the right feeling for me, and quite literally transports my mind to a happier, lighter place.
If this seems a bit fluffy, I make no apologies – it’s real enough that one day dressed can improve my mood for weeks, which is nice to know when you have a tendency towards depression.
I also start getting worried when I see posts describing the sexual side of CDing here – I feel so protective of the supporting environment of this site and focus on the non fetish aspects which hundreds of other sites already cater for.
What I’m trying to say in my usual long winded way, is that I probably read too much into what you were saying and am playing thought police.
This is an inappropriate behaviour for me, so I’ll stop!
I really enjoyed your post, though.
Love Laura
Woke up in the middle of the night and noticed my A/C was off in the room. Since the carpet has been wet below the unit, I assumed it was on the fritz. Started thinking I’d have to call the front desk in the morning and request a move to a new room… an interaction I wasn’t wanting to face since I’m registered as a man but dressed as a gal. That left me awake tossing and turning for awhile. When I woke up I the morning and jumped in the shower, the water was lukewarm. Turns out, the power was out which I discovered when heading to breakfast… somewhat relieved. I went for a long walk run in my new workout ensemble feeling cute. After avoiding eye contact with the first few folks I encountered on the path, I started trying to make eye contact and say good morning gaining confidence. I noticed I was a little tense since I feel like everyone who sees me can tell I’m a guy! I started to focus on relaxing my hands & fingers to more expose my polished nails and hold my shoulders back to accentuate my padded chest. Who knows if it made a difference in my appearance but I felt much better about myself!
Next, out to lunch, shopping, browsing ladies mags at Barnes and Noble, and more shopping!
So the Panera Bread restaurants in these parts don’t have self service kiosks for ordering. I’m a little surprised. I decided to place an online order for a nearby Chipotle instead knowing I’d need to interact a bit. The experience went well even though I had to use my male name to correspond d with my credit card. The teenage cashier handled it without notice. The rest of my shopping and browsing activities went much more relaxed… really enjoyed browsing women’s magazines and books at b&n. Wish i could have found the right dress and/or shoes for the evening though. But still fun stuff!
Congratulations on a job well done !
It takes a lot of courage to do what u did. I am very happy for you. I first went out when I was 30, 40 years ago. I went to a CD
party and after that there was no turning back except for a few years when I tried to stop, which almost ended in a trajedy that thankfully didnt happen. Good luck in the future. My keyword is balance.Saturday night turned out to be an overwhelmingly positive experience. A nearby city has a large 3 level shopping mall. I was hoping to cruise the mall en femme, get some extra steps in, and window shop a little. The mall was packed.. lots of energy.. and that made it sooooo easy to blend in and be completely relaxed. This mall had some great women’s clothing and accessory stires. It was euphoric being able to browse completely free from the close scrutiny of watchful clerks and other shoppers! Very liberating! And a very heady experience! I saw so many beautiful pieces that i wanted to purchase that I had to restrain myself. What an enjoyable experience!
I found a pair of toeless panty hose that I absolutely had to buy since I ripped a pair Friday afternoon. This wasn’t going to be a self checkout purchase. The exchange with the clerk went fine even though I was losing my femme voice… I had practiced all day while driving around town… I think I overdid it.
At another store I found a great, light weight sweater-ish thing (open front, thin material) that I fell in love with but didn’t want to spend $35 on. The next rack over, I found another one for $11… another purchase and interaction with two clerks. Okay… this isn’t too bad!
Lastly, I found a pair of clog heels at a shoe store but my size was at the top of a shelf about 10 ft off the floor… I wasnt going to be denied out of fear … so I found a clerk who wasn’t very happy but she got a ladder to retrieve them. Tried them on, paid for them, and walked out with them on!!! Soo fun! Needless to say, I was a happy CD!
A few other highlights were:
- A clerk who said “have a good evening maam” after my first purchase! Really!!
- Teenage girls who asked me for a dime at the coke machine with smiles in their faces. Since I was paying cash for everything, I had change! And was thrilled to help them out and not feel weird.
- I started to pass Victoria Secret and stopped myself and turned in to browse for the first time ever! I’ve always wanted to browse there but, as a guy, couldn’t muster the courage! But dressed as a woman with lots of other shoppers in the store, I could browse freely. This was amazing for me…. sensory overload!
Being able to browse all of the amazing female clothes, fabrics, accesories, jewelry and fragrances was too much! It’s a good thing I can’t do this on a regular basis because I would go broke!
At one last store, I so a gorgeous dress on display that I wanted to have, but knew I shouldn’t purchase. I discovered it was on sale so I looked thru the rack. Unfortunately (or fortunately), they had every size except mine. (Sigh) I guess there will be other dresses and opportunities to try them on in a store changing room!
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