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<span style=”font-family: Georgia, serif;”>Since January, when I started to fully accept Liv in my life, a lot has happened. I no longer want to hide who I am yet know I have to be careful for my loved ones. </span>
<span style=”font-family: Georgia, serif;”>In January I told my wife and while she is struggling, we love each other. I will write about that another day. Coming out to some very close male friends has been hard, but their reactions have been so heart-warming. It lifted a weight I have carried for 38 years. Yet I cannot talk with them like I do with the girls here on CDH. You all have been giving amazing support. </span>
<span style=”font-family: Georgia, serif;”>All this let me to decide a month ago I wanted to take a next step, to go outdoor, to set Liv free. I booked a new shoot at the studio I have been to before. It felt safe as the girls would join me and I liked the idea of having photos of this experience.</span>
<span style=”font-family: Georgia, serif;”>The shoot was planned for end of May. But with the day of the shoot getting closer I started to feel very nervous. Even to the point I thought about switching it to an indoor shoot, being scared about what would happen. How would people react? What if they would see? My mind was trying to take over.</span>
<span style=”font-family: Georgia, serif;”>When I arrived at the studio I immediately felt comfort. It was good to see the girls again. We had a wonderful chat, before I slipped into my new summer dress. The makeup artist is very sweet and enjoyed applying my makeup. She had new brow makeup and tested it on me. After my beautiful makeup, it was time to put on my new wig. I really enjoyed to see myself this way again, but immediately my heart started pounding, as the moment had come to go out.</span>
<span style=”font-family: Georgia, serif;”>The photographer parked her car in front of the studio. I was aware of everything when I stepped out of the studio towards her car. The studio is at a remote location, so no one had seen me. Yet I quickly stepped into the car. </span>
<span style=”font-family: Georgia, serif;”>Together with the makeup artist we drove to a nearby park. The girls reminded me that I was a woman now for everyone that would see me. During the ride, we chatted about girly things and I felt calmer and started to enjoy myself more. As it was warm that day, she had lowered the windows of the car the first few minutes, and I could feel the wind play with my hair.</span>
<span style=”font-family: Georgia, serif;”>Then she turned onto a parking lot and parked her car. I saw some people and really had to take a deep breath before opening the door. The girls where making some jokes about each other, which made me feel less nervous. I elegantly exited the car. Here I was standing in my summer dress, pink heels, outdoor for the first time in my life. I felt the wind on my dress and hair, which was amazing. At the same time I was super aware and checking if someone saw me. But all that happened was that people were minding their own business.</span>
<span style=”font-family: Georgia, serif;”>We started walking to the park, which is surrounded by a wall. At the entrance, my heart just stopped, I saw a group of men working near the entrance, and they were all looking at us. I really thought, here we go, now we get the remarks. But instead they gave us a more than friendly smile when we walked past them to enter a quiet part of the park. Oh my, the men behaved like they had seen three women pass by. I was excited, feeling even more feminine now. We made a lot of photos in the park and although people were looking at us, my confidence was growing. I felt nice and was having fun. I totally forgot about the people that were there.</span>
<span style=”font-family: Georgia, serif;”>When we walked to a busier side of the park, I already had built my confidence so much, that I did not care about people passing us closely. Some of them were interested in the shoot, others just walked by. At last we made photos a couple of meters from a group of teens. I have seen friendly faces, interested people and people minding their own business. For all I know, I was a woman to them and that made me feel amazing. </span>
<span style=”font-family: Georgia, serif;”>I feel fortunate I have been able to go out, with so much support from the team at the studio. The girls really helped me feel comfortable, confident and enjoy the shoot. </span>
<span style=”font-family: Georgia, serif;”>For me this was a big step after hiding my feminine side for so long. I am not sure where it will take me, but I do know I feel good with the steps I am making. I felt so free being en femme, I will do it again, not sure how and when. But I will make sure to go with someone else for support and to share the fun.</span>
<p class=”MsoNormal”></p>Liv,
You are such a beautiful woman. Your spirit sines through in your photos, your writing and especially in the chat rooms. The chat room comes alive when you enter and I’m certain the gentlemen in the park saw the same thing as you passed by. You truly are a feminine soul and I count it a blessing to share just a few moments of your life here on CDH.
Luv and Hugs,
Cloughie Dunn
Dear Liv,
Cloughie stole my opening line but I’ll just use it again.
Liv, you are a beautiful woman. There is no reason why you should not be enjoying life, out in the world as the woman you are.
Despite all your trepidations the sky did not fall on you and I hope you can now see that you belong out there.
Next time you feel the desire to venture out, hold your head high and tell the world that you are ready, you are Liv, this is your time.
Really looking forward to seeing the pictures
Hugs
Sheryl@Sheryl, Thank you very much for your support and inspiration to go out more often. I will think about your comment next time I am out and keep my head high.
Love, Liv
Hi Liv,
Very well done girl, I am so proud of you and happy for you at the same time. You are a beautiful woman and I am not surprised at all to read that no one in that park noticed anything strange! I am sure this will further develop your femme side, although it would be hard to become even more beautiful than you already are! It’s a pleasure to have befriended you girl…thank you!
Love, Jeanette
@Jeanette, I am very happy we have met and let’s plan to meet each other soon again. May we find the courage to go out together some day.
Love, Liv
@Cloughie, words fall short to describe how much your comment means to me. I feel fortunate to have met you and thank you so much for sharing these wonderful words.
Love, Liv
Well Liv cherie – what can I say – Felicitations!! Congratulations, and well done sweetheart. I am sure that now you have been outside you will most definitely want more of that. But a great confidence boosting experience for you. Now you know that most of your fears and preconceptions were all created by yourself – we all do it and make ourselves stressed in the process. But we have to learn about ourselves somehow! So great that you had support too – make the most of that. I love going shopping now, it’s such fun. You just wait until you try that, it’s such an empowering and exhilarating thing to do apart for the actual shopping.
Start enjoying who you are
Sophie xxx@Sophie, you are so right. Most of the fears are created in our minds. It was a relieve to find, most people don’t even look up or pay attention.
Shopping sounds fun, and I definitely would like to do that en femme.
Thank you Sophie for the sweet words.
Love, Liv
Lovely Lady,
When I first heard of your plans for an outdoor shoot and that it would be your first time out from behind closed doors, I was very excited for you and eagerly looked forward to seeing the results. It goes without saying that I was not disappointed in the least!
I was particularly touched and inspired by the photo of you with the diaphanous, bright pink wrap. It was a picture of a free and confidant young woman enjoying her femininity and the beauty that surrounded her. Like an angel spreading her wings to fly, your radient smile revealed the inner beauty we have all grown to love here on CDH.
I am grateful to know you, to have watched you blossom into an amazing woman, and to call you a friend. Love you, girl!
Kensie D
@kensiedavis, my dear friend, I have been reading your wonderful words over and over again. I feel humbled by how you describe my photos, and blessed by being friends in this great community.
Love, Liv
I am so happy that you had such a wonderful experience. You look very beautiful in all of the photos. Someday I would like to do something like that.
Kara @sg7pm, thank you so much. I can definitely recommend you to do it someday.
Love, Liv
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