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my wife is completely against my being a CD. She absolutely refuses to acknowledge me and refuses to allow me to get my ears pierced, walk around the house in heels, or anything to do with being feminine.
consider yourself one of the few lucky ones.Lexie, I truly hope it gets better for you.
I can’t thank my wife enough for her support and understanding. In some ways, like transgender/CDing, she is really understanding.
Never underestimate an woman’s intuition. i think she had an inkling way before I told her (like stretched clothing).
I guess I got the ball rolling when I came out. After that, I asked for womens’ clothing for my b-days and christmas, and she finally did.
i was always fascinated with lingerie and nylons and everything girls ware under there skirts but never dressed until we were married we were playing around and i told my love of my life i loved her panties she said try them on that was the spark that started many years of crossdressing she helped with my lingerie ,makeup and the whole works .i dressed to the 9s as long as i did not leave the house i was fine with this because it was a sexual thing with us .we had a lovely love affair for many yrs .after she passed away i did not care to live with out her .then one day i dressed and and found it to be something to look forward to so i am still here and i guess you might say crossdressing saved me .HUGS TO ALL JACKIE
That’s beautiful Jackie. Hugs back.
— Abbie 🥰
Hi Hippie,
I had never dressed in anything feminine with my wife and had no crossdressing history. I did have a lot of sexy male underwear and costumes. I had purchased breast forms, wig and lingerie and wanted to try it with her but she didn’t have a clue. On night we were watching “Big Bang Theory” on television. Leonard dressed in lingerie for Penny as an apology. When my wife saw that scene I could tell it REALLY caught her attention! Needless to say the next night Stephanie came to be. I now only wear panties and have a large wardrobe of pretty things. We shop together and she is always looking for something for Stephanie. My last three Christmas’s she has handmade me a skirt. The first one made me cry like a baby because of the love and understanding that the skirt represented. We have only been out in public once before the pandemic started and she really pushed my comfort zone while we were out. Hopefully we will do it again but I am happy dressing for her just at home. I have a large collection of sexy lingerie that she likes to see me in. She always makes me feel sooo feminine and pretty. Stephanie
My wife & I attended a Halloween party, shortly after getting married, as the opposite sexes. She could see that I really enjoyed it. I asked her if I could dress like that at home. She reluctantly said OK. She’s never been a big fan of this, but there are times when she’s very supportive & encouraging. Seems that, sometimes, it just depends on which way the wind is blowing. We’ve gotten to the point that she just wants me to be happy.
Wellllllllll….she wasn’t supposed to find out. But when she did, it was the best thing that ever happened. I felt like a fool for having underestimated her and our relationship.
All is good in Clara-land.Clara if I may ask, how did she find out? I am desperately seeking ways to talk with my wife about my crossdressing and am much too nervous and scared about how to start the conversation, so when I saw you said she found out it got me thinking that I’ve done something ( which I believe she knows) already that I could spark the conversation. Anyway congrats and thanks for the time!
❤️Ginger
Like you Hippie, my wife knew before she was my wife. Back in our college days, the first time she pulled down my jeans and saw my panties she gasped. Then giggled. Then pealed them down and had her way with me. 46 years later she still giggles.
She has me play the wife roll often, even introducing me to others as her wife.
I think the best way to introduce any non-conventional ideas is early in the relationship.
Hi Hippie!
I told my SO right at the get-go, just like you.
“My lovely SO, I love silky things. You OK with that?”
“Yeah, that fine, so long as you throw in some leather chap and I’m good!”
I’m gender-fluid and she knows and is cool with it, so long as I’m not consumed by my feminine side. No worries there! I love being a dude too, like taking stupid and fun risks and having a beer over the day’s adventures.
Cheers!
🍻 Barb
I hear you barb “ I love being a dude too, like taking stupid and fun risks and having a beer over the day’s adventures.
but now when I do something stupid, like getting a massive bruise from my surfboard or getting scratches all over my legs from running trails I always now think too myself, how am I going to cover that up or will I it show through my stockings “ 😂😂😂
Sally
💚💚💚
LOL! Me too, Sally!
I fallen off my road bike plenty of times, and gotten some nasty scars too. “Damn! This isn’t gonna look good between me and my nylons! HA HA!!
I keep Polysporin in my saddle bag to immediately begin the healing process!
Thanks for this. I need some good cheer after this mornings drama! Groan…
Cheers,
Barb 🍻
well i will make a long story short. i had a pic of my self all dressed up and did not put it away, my daughter seen it and showed mom. daughter said its his body not hers, my wife just lets me dress up when no other adult child is home, we have 2 adults that moved out one still home. so i dress up when he is at work and wife will tell me i can do what i like. she also knows i have more female cloths then her and wear them more then she does. she will not see me dressed up or even help with make up. but she has seen me getting dressed up and even dressed up when i walk by to go to the kitchen or basement. i just wish she would be more open and let me sit with her and talk about things and why and what do i feel like dressing up, for me its the feel and look and fit.
Hi, I’m happy for all the girls here that are able to express themselves with the support of their wife. Unfortunately for me that is not the case. While my wife knows about me wearing lingerie, anything beyond that would likely destroy our life together.
It is difficult to live in this invisible box. Sometimes I feel selfish and wish to step outside of it, but I need to consider the big picture of our lives together and my family.
There is an anger in me that says ‘why can’t you be more understanding!’ However, like many here, I kept this part of me hidden from her and only opened up after we were married and had children. I really did want to tell her much earlier but the fear of rejection and other consequences held me back.
Looking back I would advise anyone early in a relationship to open up and be yourself. If they can’t accept you for who you are then you are not meant to be together. If they do accept you – have fun.
Love Jane X.
Nearly forty years later and still trying.
like some others, my wife knew before we even dated. I came out of an awful long term relationship with someone who put herself first over everything. I stuck because it was convenient and that’s we do right? Put up with the shit life throws our way?
Finally I as enough and moved on. About 12 years ago I reconnected with an old friend from college. Almost immediately I told her about me. She smiled and said “OMG!! Show me please!”
i feel very fortunate For those of you who weren’t sure – know that these women exist
Yes she got me to play dress up knowing i would like it,and she was right,i think deep down she knew x
I haven’t. She asked me to stop.
Connie
xxx
My wife met Patty a couple of weeks after we met. She surprised me showing up at my place in the morning. I had been out as Patty the night before and didn’t put my clothes way. She noticed them and was not happy. I decided to come clean. I told her the clothes were mine. I enjoyed wearing them and going out in them.
She seem suspicious and asked me to show her. I went int eh bedroom and changed into one of my favorite and sexiest outfits. When I walked out, she was stunned. She cold not believe how pretty and sexy I was and how different I looked. She thought since I liked going out that way, we should go out together as girlfriends.
She got me to go to places and do things I never would have done on my own. I was always careful when and where I went. Now I was going everywhere. It was quite scary but incredibly exciting and thrilling.
I don’t think I can properly explain it here but I’ll try the Coles Notes version.
My wife found out about my crossdressing about 2-3 years into our relationship and was never bothered by it though there were the usual questions at the beginning about sexual orientation etc, at that time I was only underdressing and it stayed that way until recently (17 years later).
This past Spring, after being left alone for far too long, I realized some things about myself and began to dress more completely and more often. As this situation evolved she continued to accept and even support in small but meaningful ways but with some big questions and uncertainty about where it was all going and what that meant for us. Until 2 weeks ago…
We found ourselves in some somewhat unrelated but intense emotional turmoil which caused us to deeply search our feelings and talk openly and truthfully for the first time in a long time. It seemed at times during these conversations that it could end badly but then we realized that after years of just surviving the stresses of life, we really did love each other and couldn’t imagine being apart and then the most amazing thing happened.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around it but she moved from acceptance with limited support to fully embracing it. It turns out that she actually likes me as Abbie (which is really the same person she married just packaged differently). It’s like a Whoville Christmas miracle where triumph is snatched from the jaws of defeat. How? No idea, but I guess love played the biggest part.
Now it’s like our marriage has been renewed and our youngest kid (18) is complaining about our displays of affection. Will this last? Hopefully till death do us part. We’ve actually talked about privately renewing our vows but with both of us in dresses, I get a bit teary thinking about it. Maybe someday, a girl can dream…
— Abbie 🥰
lovely story abbie love is a wonderful thing hugs jackie
Wish I could say I’ve had similar experiences.
My ex found out a few years into our marriage and it did not go well at all. We split a few years later.
I never remarried but have been with my girlfriend 13 years. I came out to her about 6 years ago. She handled it pretty well. Unfortunately, I quickly learned that she doesn’t want to talk and doesn’t want to see me. She’s also afraid of the neighbors seeing me.
So we essentially have a don’t ask don’t tell arrangement. Being myself is difficult at best. Out of town getaways to socialize with other girls is my only outlet. Frankly, it’s getting old. I now identify as trans. Our relationship is suffering.
My first marriage didn’t go well, she literally laughed out loud at me for a long time when I told her. For some reason I stayed for many more years. I hope you find your happiness someday Emily.
— Abbie 🥰
As they say Abbie, it is what it is. I’ve learned that we shouldn’t depend on anyone but ourselves for our happiness. People change and letdowns happen. I accept that and move on with my life. I’ve found ways to fill the gaps. HRT makes a huge difference. The CDH girls I’ve met and bonded with are family. Simply put, I’ve never been happier.
Emily,
I understand what you are going through. I’ve been married for 32 years to the love of my life. I came out to her a few years ago and it’s not good. She refuses to accept Lexie. I came out to her as a CD, but over the last 6 months, I realized that I’m transgender.
through therapy, I’m learning more about myself, but have not told my wife that I plan on transitioning. It’s too early to have that discussion.
With mine, to was all steam ahead then stop, this happened twice. Now after a long talk and her acceptance plus my own acceptance that I am a crossdresser, we are in a very good place. I can dress whenever I want with two caveats, no dressing for meals and no dressing when we spend the evening together. Also I do not dress every day as we all know a happy SO is a happy home and do not want over step. I’m sure this may change but this compromise is fairly recent so hoping it will improve even more.
I met my wife at college, we both aged 20, we hit it off straight away and both came from similar difficult backgrounds. I told her after about 2 weeks of being together and she was totally cool about it, and has remained so to this day 30 years later.
We have an agreement that I only dress at home and that family and friends don’t know. I know I have been blessed, but we communicate and let each other know how we are feeling. She can tell when I am becoming stressed and need a bit to Tara time, likewise I don’t take advantage.
Love,
Tara x.
Hi Hippie as for my wife also who is very supportive i can dress any time as long as in the house been around house outside as nearest neighbor is about 3 miles away but never into a town as such.. I ask her any time if its ok for Stephanie comes over and she always says yes you dont have to ask and my reply is yes i do i never want you to be taken for grantite and she never will.. As for coming out to wife it was just after we were married having a romantic evening at home and asked if she would mind if she put lipstick on me and it took off from there as telling her everything as we sat in bed like two school girls talking never about boys as im not wired that way just everything about girls and clothes and makeup which i had to invest in some clothing and every other girly thing Stephanie needed to look her best .. Thanks for bringing up some good memories..
Stephanie bass
My then boyfriend told me about 6months into our relationship that he was jealous of the stockings I was wearing and wanted to wear them himself.
32yrs, 2 kids, 2 dogs and multiple houses, cars and bikes later we are still happily married!
Penny didn’t “arrive”, until a couple of years ago when we both discovered crossdressing was an actual thing after I made a flippant comment about I wondered if hubby had ever wanted to try and dress fully female for a day or weekend (rather than just some stockings and a pair or ridiculously high boots that had been acquired over the years) and the rest is history!
My beloved and I are separated(sort of). I will follow the advice I know my father would give me. Be polite, be cordial, and, most of all, hang in there.
Thank you, Lacey.
Diane
Within a week, of accepting this of myself, I simply told my wife we had to talk, and explained what I was feeling, and that I wanted to further explore it.
Thankfully, she jumped right on board, and immediately went through her packed boxes for her “big” clothes, and I had a wardrobe. We had been married close to 40 years, at this time, yet she accepted Regine as who I am, now, completely.
Now, a little over a year later, she is overjoyed, and prefers Regi over him, if I’m acting too “male”, she tells me she wants to talk to Regi, lol
Yes, I’m one of the very lucky ones
Hugs, Regi💕👸
I came out to my wife very recently. I’d had passing urges, but for a while the urge to dress has been pretty strong. My wife is super excited about it. Like she kind of wants to move faster than I do. She ordered me a bunch of surprised from amazon, including a waist cincher and some fakes, and a ton of clothing to where. My wife is amazing and the best person I know. We’ve been together a decade and I have always tried to support her and not take her for granted.
Now she is playing around with ideas for couple cosplays at upcoming conventions. I told her that I wasn’t ready for that and may never be. She says she gets it, but now she really wants me to dress as Poison Ivy to go with her Harley Quinn animated series cosplay. Generally she cosplays at conventions and I end up making the props, making adjustments to the garments she is going to wear, tear apart cheap costumes and use them as a pattern to remake them in better quality material, etc, and then am just there as support and to carry what needs to be carried.
She also asked me how I felt about her wearing a chest binder sometime. I told her I was fine with that and then secretly ordered her one, so I wonder if she may have some tendencies as well.
Thats really cool, I like the Poison Ivy to go with her Harley Quinn cosplay. I would like to do a Doctor Who cosplay with the misses, but she is not into costumes. She is strictly jeans and tees kinda woman.
Hippie
A Doctor Who Cosplay could be really fun! Also she could go as one of the many companions. They are mainly just a shirt and pants anyway and there are a ton to choose from. You can even mix and match them because it’s a timey wimey thing.
Until about six or seven years ago I never used to crossdress, though I have always known I am more feminine or girly than I perhaps seem. I’ve always preferred female company to male, will chat about relationships, clothes, makeup until the cows come home, and resent having to go on stag nights when I know the hens will be having a much better time. When we’re out in a group I’ll always try to sit with my mates’ wives than with my actual mates.
I used to occasionally wear my wife panties and stockings “for a joke”, and I’m sure lot’s of you will know what I mean. but in my mid 50’s something either snapped or came to the fore. I think it was a sense of, “you’re getting older, so it’s now or never”.
This is a long preamble, but I have a list of kinks as long as my arm, including sexual submission, male chastity and bondage as well as crossdressing. So I bared my soul with the whole list all in one go.
Shortening the story again, she had such issues with some other of my kinks that the crossdressing hardly raised an eyebrow. We did get to a good place after some shaky moments, but I would not immediately recommend this as a course of action to others.
I have been blessed to have a really wonderful, insightful, happy wife. For background: she wakes up happy, she goes to bed happy, and every single moment in between is happy for her. I have only seen her angry exactly 3 times in nearly 34 years. Twice was “with me”, but I didn’t deserve it. At least that’s the story I’m sticking with, anyway (and I’m writing this post)!
It was the day after our first anniversary. My wife always does well with any presentation of information, regardless of the flavor or smell. She just does best when looked in the eye and problems discussed “straight up.” I simply explained to her about me and how I saw myself when I looked in the mirror. I told the story just simply and straight forward, as if we were just talking about the weather. Absolutely true to form, she just smiled and dove right in. We talked for hours and figured out the “how to’s.” The only condition she has ever set was to be honest and open about my feelings and to always consider my environment. She has never expressed any doubts, hesitations or regrets. She has, for 33 years since, worked tirelessly to help me to be happy with who I am and with the world.
Early on we planned for my transition. I transitioned 2 months after the birth of our son. We lived full time as “two moms” in Pittsburgh for 13 months, until the family pressures just became overwhelming, especially from her family. We transitioned back “to normal” in the eyes of family and were successful in managing “the issue.” Again, let me point out that the successful management of the families was my wife’s handy work. Just sayin’.
Years passed with us being happy as both him-and-her and her-and-her. We were out shopping as girls one summer day when the kids were away for a couple weeks with activities. Just out of the blue, my wife stated ever so matter of factly that I needed to be on hormones! And…exactly how many milliseconds do you think it took for me to agree!? She wasn’t bossy, she wasn’t resigned. She said, “I just know it,” and off to the endocrinologist we went. The plan was to feminize for 12 months, then retire to our full time life as “two moms” again.
Well, 7 months in to hormones I started having really bad side effects and complications, just like the house falling on The Wicked Witch of the West. Not to be deterred, my wife regrouped and determined that we just needed another plan on making it work. So, another transition day is set.
That ladies, is the simple glory of my wife. She loves me for me, regardless of how I look on the outside. I never had to “get her on board.” She is someone who just cherishes every day of life and makes the most of what she has.
Dee
Ok..my story. I didn’t tell my wife when we were married but at that time there was no CDH or place where I could have gotten advice. Telling upfront is essential if you can as it only gets worse the longer you hide it. You hate yourself for keeping the secret and your spouse is going to be upset the longer you have kept the secret. I know this now.
As I got older I hated to be hiding, not only that I could not be my true self but I held a secret from the most important person in my life that I loved. I felt between a rock and a hard place with no where to go. Every option I thought of caused me to lose either myself or my wife.
I realized I needed help and sought out a therapist. The one I wanted was not available so I saw another but it didn’t work out…she had limited experience. A few days later I got a note from the original therapist and I was lucky to be able to see her. She was the first person I told that I was a cd other than people connected to the cd/ty world. She helped me accept myself and realize that I had to tell my wife.
A month or so later I got the courage to tell her. I wrote a letter and scoured CDH for advice on what to say. The day came and I gave her the letter and was so scared I went into out bedroom. Just thinking that I could lose her caused me to break down crying. She came in after reading it to console me. She said she knew a few years ago when she found something I left out. We talked all night…was I gay, was our marriage a scam, did I want to transition. She was scared too. Finding out before I told her allowed her to soul search and figure out what she wanted. She wanted us but didn’t think she could handle it if I wanted to transition or was gay. Those answers were no and no so in the end she understood how it was a part of me and made me who I am.
where are we now…she’s supportive in helping me be the best Carole I can be, had gone through my clothes with me to figure out what looked best, we shop together of which she didn’t like to do but now loves that I do and has said she likes that girl part of me. She supports me going to Keystone and wants me to look my best. She has said she doesn’t want to see Carole in person but maybe will be able to. We’re taking it day by day. We love each other and I understand it’s not just about Carole…but it’s about us. Who knows where this will end but I consider myself very lucky I needed to take the chance and tell her. The therapist helped me immensely. Everyone’s journey is different so there is no right way. I want to pay it forward so if anyone wants help please pm me. Sorry for the length of this.
hugs
Carole
I don’t know why, but the first time I decided I wanted to try wearing women’s underwear, I told my wife. I took her to a lingerie shop, looked into the window, and said I would like to buy some panties to wear. I don’t know what when on in her head, but she was totally supportive and within the next few days I was the proud owner of a couple of pairs of panties.
That was eight years ago. Over those years, my dressing has grown steadily to the point now where more than half my clothes are women’s. We shop together for her and for me. At home, I almost always am dressed en femme.
Dressing gives me joy every day and I am thankful for her support.
Hugs,
Erica
It is a work in progress and it may never happen. I’ll try to keep this short. Told her pre-marriage, she was against it, i tried to quit. My work travel gave me opportunities to dress and I have purged many times over the years. She has found things a few times and i purged but she also seems to have blocked out some of those that I remember distinctly. Like most here, I wanted to come out after both kids were in college but was scared, unsure of her reaction. Fast forward 2.5 years and she came into my office as i was putting a pic of myself into google which she did not get a good look at. I quickly closed it and told her it was me. I could not quit, always felt guilty hiding it, and was tired of hiding it. We talked same and she did not seem too upset. I asked if she would be ok with me underdressing, she said “you can wear what you want” which I took to mean yes.
Jump forward a month with no talking about it and I’ve started sleeping in them sometimes but not flaunting them. I would take off my shorts or pants as I got into bed and put them on as i got up only walking around in them to the bathroom in the middle of the night in the dark. We become intimate one night and she realizes i have them on, they have lace trim that she runs her fingers across a few times but says nothing then or in the morning. I take this as a sign of acceptance. I was wrong. A few weeks later i put my panties in my underwear drawer, i had been washing them separate from our stuff so she had really not been seeing them. When she saw that she was not happy so i removed them. We discussed things and I said I thought she was ok with it, she was not.
Fast forward six months and when i was away she finds a duffle bag in my closet with wigs and fake nails which I never even really wore. I would have shown her if she had asked. She brings it up the morning after I get home and all but says she can’t be married to a cd but we can still be friends. That same day a book I ordered, Living with Crossdressing, arrived in the mail. We have been talking, we both read it, and are looking to get into therapy.
Hi everyone, my two cents – I’ve been crossdressing occasionally for about 6 decades, with spurts of very active, but secret dressing that lasted for a few years each time. I’ve also been married for 40 years and just revealed my femme side in July this year. My wife has been incredibly supportive, although initial empathy for my past of hiding and anxiety turned to resentment and anger. I also revealed a couple of moths into discussions and therapy, that I was hiding more than the clothes. I came to realize that I am in fact transgender and started HRT about a month ago. My wife is not at all excited about loving “a woman” or me looking like one, but she knows I can’t go back to being split down the middle.
Right now, my goal is to live AS a woman in about a year, depending on hormones and logistics. The only no-go so far is she says if I get a vagina she’s out of here. Hopefully just HRT, and orchi, and being Brielle FT will be enough (right now I think it will be). But we aren’t sure it will work as roommates or if she’ll even be attracted to me at all a few years from now. But we are both committed to stay together if at all possible, so I’m optimistic. Scripture says love covers a multitude of sins – I think my wife and are living examples of that truth!
Brielle
I wish you and your wife all the best.
I personally wish to start HRT within the nex 6-12 months, but wife won’t accept my cross dressing let alone HRT.Sorry, Lexie. Way too long to respond to your reply. :-/ I hope you can meet your needs without sacrificing your relationship. It is a massive struggle to feel like the choices are stifle your internal needs or risk losing your spouse. But it isn’t always that clear-cut. Even if our wives are very much against seeing our feminine side, it can be worked out sometimes with a lot of open, often brutal, conversations, some compromise, and boundary-setting.
An update for me: we are in a trial period of being roommates with separate bedrooms. Not out of anger or abandonment, but to let my wife have space and time to get a handle on things. We are still actively trying to work on our relationship. At first I was crushed. I felt like she was buying time until she could get away. But that wasn’t the case.
I have free reign to dress when I want/need to ease the dysphoria. Interestingly, I only feel like dressing a few times a week right now. They are “just clothes” now that I’m transitioning, so it feels like wearing business casual over sweats and a t-shirt for working from home. Much more natural. I’m two months in on spiro, so I don’t know if it is only a mental shift, or the testosterone is dropping.
So, take heart and when you are ready, tell her everything you need up front. Letting it out in dribs and drabs will only make her feel betrayed and lost.
PM me anytime you want to chat – I am no expert, but maybe a little ahead and I can at least tell you what I did wrong so you can maybe avoid those pitfalls.
Hugs,
Brie
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Thought I had responded to this thread but have not so heres my story….
The wife found one of my bras the second year we were married and thought I had a big boobed girlfriend. I had to convince her it was mine and that led to her demanding therapy. We both saw a therapist for a few months where I lied and was “cured” but in reality I took it deep in the closet for the next 30+ years. In hindsight, I should have outed myself and gotten a divorce but we all know how hindsight is.. lol
As I got older the desire to express my femininity became so strong that when a good friend died unexpectedly I felt the clock ticking and I knew it was now or never so damn the torpedos. I did a ruthless self soul searching over about a month. Was I stupid to gamble all we had built just to wear skirts, bras, panties and pretty things? I decide I needed it for my mental health so I came to the conclusion that I had to live my life honestly no matter what. It was that important to me and it wasn’t just a sexual thing, a phase, or fleeting feeling. These were real feelings and emotions and not pretending at a hobby. An integral part of me.
So one day I sat her down and told her almost everything. Of course she freaked out like most wives do saying she had thought I was “cured” and had stopped long ago but this certainly explained a few things from the past. She had the usual questions like, “Are you gay” and “Do you want to become a trans woman.” We talked for an hour or more and I answered all her questions as best I could.
The days after that initial outing, she would go from trying to accept this side of me to full blown anger demeaning me terribly. I got so depressed at one point I purged almost everything I had hoping it would ease my depression and her anger. It did not ease anything for either of us. Purging never works. It took months of back and forth until one day she said she would help me buy clothes. She wanted to protect me. I was shocked but happy she was willing.
The next two years or so was a wonderful time as we shopped together and bonded like never before. She would bring home lingerie or other items she thought I liked and it was great. My wardrobe grew the largest it had ever been and it was all out in plain sight. She still didn’t want to see Michelle dressed but I was very happy to be accepted by her.
But after a while she became bored with it and told me it was just my thing and not hers and she wasn’t going to help me shop anymore. I felt a little sad but knew at least now everything was out in the open and I could buy anything I wanted in stores or online and it was ok with her. During all this I was underdressing and she was ok with that too.
So now its been about six or so years ago since I came out to her and I dress every day at home in casual feminine attire which is flats, panties, leggings or tights, bra with my forms and a womens tee or blouse and she has no problem seeing me like this. She still doesn’t want me to wear skirts, dresses, heels or a wig around her. I can deal with that. I’ve let my hair grow into a nice ponytail and she says she likes it. I underdress every day with panties and a bra too. The other night she told me she liked the female within me which made me feel so good. We have come a long way.
For me things were likely different than most. In my case my wife knew I crossdressed before I knew her. I was in school at the time and once I had turned 18 I became more bold. I shopped more openly mainly at a few secondhand stores. The staff all knew I was a crossdresser but one day they had a new employee, a girl my same age. While we didn’t meet in person she saw me and likely was told I was a frequent shopper. The next semester came with a few new classes. Turned she too was a student and we ended up in the same class. It took a few days but one day after class she came up to me and asked if I had another class right away, I didn’t. We walked to a commons to catch something to drink and she selected a table away from others. We started to talk when she kind of floored me. She came clean where she worked and had seen me there. I immediately got nervous but she crabbed my hands and told me it was ok with her and she wouldn’t tell anyone. From there we hit it off and started dating. Once we graduated we got married. My dressing has never been an issue and at times she prods me to just get dressed up, it’s been too long. I think how I successfully handle it though is putting my wife above my dressing. It’s a secrete between us but not our families and helps we live out of state from everyone else. So in my case it never was a secret, never worried she’d catch me and dressing is not my priority in life my wife is.
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