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Following on from my wife suggesting I visit her hairdresser that I posted about the other day….
Last night, my wife crimped my hair (photo in the public gallery).After she finished, she said how much she liked it and that it was nicer than my normal hair. It looked “rocky” (as in rock star not horror). I was surprised by this. Later on in the evening she talked about it again, and said that she would be more than happy to do the same, but not too often as the heat required will damage the hair despite the heat protection spray she used. I asked if her hairdresser could do the same to my hair without using heat. The answer was probably, but it might require “perming”. My wife went on to say that she would ask during her next visit.Now… Do I really want a (semi) permanent change to my hair? What I have now will probably go when I next wash it. I like it. My wife loves it. Do I take that leap? As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not visited a barber or a hairdresser for 20 years.
I’m excited by the prospect, but is this just “the pink mist” falling? The permanency of having my ears pierced freaked me out. Do I want to change my hair in such a way that I have to wait for it to grow out? This could take a long time.I know a lot of you will say “Go on gurl, do it”, but is this really a good idea? I wouldn’t even be considering it if my wife hasn’t kept on about how great it looks and how much she likes it.
After the discussion previously about me visiting the hairdresser, I had a dream that I did visit. The hair dresser sat me in the chair, laid me back, washed my hair and then started to work her magic. I couldn’t see what she was doing as the mirror was behind me. When she finished she asked if I wanted to see. She span the chair around, and looking back at me in the mirror was Beverly Goldberg!!!!!!! I woke up with a start and laughing at the same time….. This had kind of put me off visiting a hairdresser! 🙂
If I do visit a hair dresser, it will probably be after christmas, so by then “the pink fog” may have lifted. I do like my hair as it is at the moment…. Do I want it to always be like this? Do I peruse this idea, or park it in the “don’t be stupid” box?
Cerys.
well Beverley – whoops – I mean Cerys,
It’s quite a delicate decision to make. Perhaps there’s an inbetween space to explore, although I’m not quite sure what that is. If you feel comfortable about it, how about including your hairdresser-to-be in the discussion?
Marti xxx
Marti, The in between space is where we are now. Crimping my hair using heat. My wife is happy to continue with this as she really does love it as it is now. The worry is, heat damages hair. Perming it is less harmful. I would have to ask the salon to do the crimping (various ways apparently. Rods or just braiding it) but not adding the perming solution, just to see how it looks, and then, if we both agree, have it done.
I really cannot believe that my wife likes me like this. She seems as keen as I do the get it done properly. She is away most of this week. I’ll see how long what I have no lasts for. Some say it could last a while. Others say only a few days. Perming can last up to a few months apparently.Cerys.
When i was younger, teenager, i would get a perm every couple of months. It would wash out over the months and need to be done again. I dont want the continues maintenance of a perm. I am growing my hair, but undecided what cut it will be. I want relatively low maintenance hair, that works for me at work and on the weekend when Paula get to come out and play.
So my advice, look at the maintenance your hair will require and decide if you wish to keep it up or not.
It is just hair, it grows and can be changed at a whim
Beverly Goldberg! Well we can all dream.
Your wife appears to be dipping her toe in the water too by coming up with these ideas. Maybe she wants to see how far you are prepared to go and satisfy hers, and your, curiosity. We can only surmise the motives but while it is moving forward I would say ‘Don’t be stupid, do it’. There may be regrets either way but as it is ‘Hair today’ it may be gone tomorrow…..
Angela, Seeing BG looking back from the mirror did make me laugh…. I also go an idea of how I would look as a blonde 🙂
I think my wife’s motive are genuine and solid. She likes it as it is now. I like it as it is now. We are both keen to keep it, but don’t want to damage my hair with the heat.
Perming it would be less harmful and keep us both happy.Cerys.
It depends entirely on. Would you mind what others would think, etc. I just have to say that if I had a wife as supportive as yours I would be doing a lot more feminine things.
Hugs, Liara
Liara, I don’t mind what others think. When in boy mode, my hair is tied back in a ponytail…. At the moment it looks quite good tied back. It also looks a lot thicker, so in both modes, I look better.
Cerys.
Cerys, why not purchase some different size perm rods and papers. Enough to do the hole head. Wash hair and use some styling products and have your wife roll your hair. This way you could both see what your hair does and if you both like the look, without damaging your hair.
I used to get perms when hair was longer and always liked it.
Good luck and have fun with it.
Lynne
Wow Cerys what a decission to make wish to be in your shoes for this one as my wife is very supportive but as still working in a old school community my lonbg hair is as girly hippy as it gets wanted to try color change one time wife didnt like that idea .. So for mny advice girl would go for the easy way first and see what both of you think before the perm good luck ..
Stephanie
Stephanie, we’ll probably stay with using crimpers for a while, but my wife is fully on board with getting it permed. This has surprised me! It looks like we will at least be having a chat with the hairdresser. It might be that she suggests we carry on with the tongs. Well have to wait and see.
Cerys.
Cerys, I don’t know how far you want to take all your CD. If you are happy where you are at, that is fine for you. If you really want to have your ears pierce though and your wife is ok with it maybe consider doing it. If you do get the ears pierced and decide after a couple of months that this was not right for you you can always remove them, no harm done.
For me last year I had my then shoulder length hair colored followed by ear piercing the next day, then this past Sept getting acrylic nails. I am working every day with long colored nails and hair in a pony tail and have few comments about it. Actually I am a little disappionted, I was wanted to get a discussion. I need/want?? to take my cd further, I am thinking I might want to at least ‘socially’ transition. Kind of hard in small town Iowa USA. But the desire is there.
I guess what I am saying if you are as far as you want/need?? to go, be happy with it. If you think you might want to go further don’t let fear stop you.
. . .CassieWhat areas of concern do you have re doing a permanent perm?
Are you cautious / uneasy about looking permanently fem? (as long as the perm lasts)
Do you enjoy the journey of moving in, and out of masculine / fem modes?
Mary Jane,
I’m not concerned about looking permanently femme. In boy mode, it would be tied back in a ponytail. It would just be a frizzy ponytail.
My concern about having a perm is how long it would last. Various sources on the internet say anything from a few weeks to a few months. I have to weigh up what will be most damaging. A weekly (maybe) crimping or a couple of monthly perming.. Cost also comes into this. I have no idea of the cost, and if it has to be done regularly, it could get expensive. Crimping with the tongs is free, but does add to my wife’s workload 🙂Cerys
Hey, Cerys!
Just saw your “crimped” photo. You look great! Really works for you. Gave you a “thumbs up”.
I dunno… If I’m blasting forward head-first I always make sure I’ve got good brakes and I can shift into reverse anytime. In my home, the cop will let me go 50 over the limit, but if she’s in a bad mood the next day I’ll get dinged. I kinda get it, though, since my hormones these days are out-of-whack too.
Hugs, Barb 😊
Thanks Barb…. I won’t be blasting forward head first. If I do get it done, it will probably be after Christmas so I have plenty of time to decide. I might char with the hairdresser first before I book in. Get some expert advice. The only reason I’m keen is my wife really likes it. She mentions it five or six times per evening. I’ll delete that pic and post another taken the next day. I really do think it suits me.
Cerys
Have you considered that the “pink fog” is not just affecting you but your wife as well?
So you have another way of pleasing your wife….
She obviously likes feminizing you. You like it as well. Sit down and make some rules but a well managed pink fog program for you to share together? Dyh?!?!?This is the thing. She doesn’t want to feminize me. If I could be “cured” she’d be dragging me to the doctors. She happy for me to do what I do, but there are rules, no breasts when she’s around, no colourful make up other than certain shades of lipstick, for example.There’s also no sexual attraction when I’m dressed. She did my hair because I asked her to. She often plaits it when wet, so it has a similar effect. She really does like the crimped effect. I am still surprised how much she likes it. She’s been looking it up in the web and we had a long conversation over the phone last night (she’s working away for a few days). She has suggested a plait perm… The hairdresser puts load of plaits (braids) in the hair, and perms it.
I wish that she did want to feminize me. We had a spell a number of years ago where she chose what I wore every day. She’d insist that I went to work wearing panties and with mascara on. I’d come home from work and she had put out what she wanted me to be wearing when she came home. These were great times. Alas things went tits up and she did a complete 180 and banned all crossdressing…. it was a looooooong time before I could dress again. Back then, I never dreamt that I’d be dressed 80% of the time with pierced ears and considering having a perm in a hairdressers…. It’s taken over 20 years since her 180, but the wait was worth it 🙂Cerys.
Hi Cetus,
My wife loves when I have just washed my hair and it hangs in ringlets. I don’t brush them out for that reason. Each morning between shampoos I will wet my hair so it will be in curls for her. Since your wife is so supportive why not dress and look to please her? If concerns are about hair damage, why not have her use curlers in your hair like they did in the past? It would be a nice “girlfriend” time, maybe do each other’s nails while your hair is in curlers. The best part is that it won’t last and you get to do it again for more girl time and can change curler styles for a different look. During the height of the pandemic I was doing my wife’s nails and really enjoyed our girly time. I have only been in public once and we really enjoyed that girl time together away from home. She always buys me things to wear and I love wearing them for her. Your wife sounds like she wants to dress and style her little “doll” so enjoy! Stephanie
I’m only considering the perm because of her. She really like my hair crimped, and I want to please her. As it happens, it kills two birds with one stone. My hair would make her happy, and I get to have great hair done in a hairdressers. I am a little concerned on the permanency of it, now that I have had time to think about it, but you know what? If anyone says anything, fcuk ’em! I’m beyond caring what others think of me. I’m only cautious of the places I go to, or the people that see me as my wife worries what other think. If doing my hair makes her happy, I’m all for having it done.
We’ve done curlers and various curling wands. She wasn’t impressed. When she saw my hair crimped, I got a “wow!” She talked about it a lot since and has even researched perming methods in the net. She’s talking me into a plait/braid perm that has very similar effects. Unless her mood changes, I’m almost certain to have it done.Cerys.
Hi Cerys,
Sorry about misspelling your name. I didn’t proofread my response and the #*+x<¥}?! spellcheck changed what I had typed in!! I had to force it even this time! That might even be a good topic for the forum….. Stephanie
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