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It has been a very, very long time since I ventured out in public fully dressed en femme, but I simply always carried my male-self’s ID.
Truthfully, who is going to be looking at your ID? Store clerks IDing you for cigarettes or booze don’t care if the ID is valid and they can see “you” even remotely resemble the person on the ID. Same for clubs or bars that ID. If you’re using your ID to check in at a hotel or rent a car, they need an ID that matches your credit or debit card (which I am guessing is in your male name too). And last, but not least, law enforcement.
I toyed with the idea of getting a fake ID with my femme picture and name, but everything else matching my male ID (ID#, birthday, address, etc), but owning and presenting a fake ID is a crime, whereas presenting as the fairer sex is not (unless you live in Virginia and somehow crossdressing violates the state’s terrifying statute against wearing masks/concealing your identity).
I really do understand wanting to completely change over your identity and everything associated with it when you go out to feel like a completely different person, but remember that the vast majority of the public is never going to see inside your purse.
Stay safe. Stay legal.
I still retain my male ID and with the exception of a traffic stop or using a credit or debit card, I rarely need it. I rarely get much reaction when I have to present it. Flying is usually the only activity I do in drab mode so my ID is not an issue there either. I haven’t even researched if flying dressed as Gina is legal. I just don’t bother with it.
I think that we need to keep in mind what ID is needed for, to prove who we are. In most situations that means from a legal point of view. You are who you are, no matter what you’re wearing at the time so if you have to produce ID then use that which has been lawfully issued. Some people manufacture a ‘femme ID’ but if it has no legal basis it’s more an exercise in self-satisfaction than identification.
I’m pretty lucky in that my ‘Jane-face’ is pretty much my ‘male’ face with makeup. I have the same long hair and pierced ears so the picture on my drivers’ licence is still me, even if I’m wearing a nice dress or a cute top and skirt.
Hi Candy, you know when i first began going out enfemme i worried about that too. And worried that someone i know might see me. As i came to realize i was tg not cd i began flaunting my femininty.
One day at the grocery store i decided to pay for my groceries with a check. The cashier asked for an IDand i gave her my license. She looked at photo, then at me, then got a quizical look on her face. I smiled and said oh i know the picture is a bit different but you see i wasnt wearing my makeup the day they took that pic.
You pretty much have no choice but to use your real ID as that’s the only legal thing to do. If you are in a country/state where transgender rights are recognized you should not have a problem but I understand these things vary by location. There was only one time where I faced any sort of hiccup but it was resolved without any issue. I was trying to enter a casino en femme and the person doing the carding very politely asked me aside so as not to hold up the line, explaining that I looked nothing like the photo in my ID and so he needed to get someone who was “more of an expert” to help out. A little while later, a lady came around and took what seemed like an eternity looking at me and back at my photo repeatedly before saying sorry for the delay and all is good. I can understand that at the casino because they need to be 100% sure you are who you are for security reasons. To be honest, I felt rather flattered as that speaks volumes for my make up that evening 🙂
I personally have not had a single issue. You also need to have real ID and not fake like someone mentioned, why get into trouble over this.
If I dress-I go out. I don’t hesitate to use a CC or show photo ID if asked when I purchase something though typically I use cash. A few times people have looked very close at my photo ID and me but never said anything. I was stopped by police once while I was on foot but did not need to show ID-they thought I might be a hooker (LOL) but mainly because of the area I was passing through. I was also carded in a bar which surprised me because at the time I was in my late 50’s-suspect they may have wanted to know if I was a M or F.
Many friends of mine have a CC in there fem name but I don’t see myself doing this.
Sandy
Legally it depends on the laws in your locality but I don’t know of any states in the US where having a fake I’d won’t get you into serious trouble if it is presented to law enforcement but using a fake I’d, in any context constitutes a fraud and might also be chargeable under counterfeiting statutes. Best advice is use your official, legal ID, drink responsibly, act like a Lady AND be honest and upfront with anyone interested in you. It likely will short circuit a man’s interest but it might save trouble later. Exception would be if you are in a group when approached, in that case, stay in the group.
Yes, I agree with what has been said regarding ID, I carry my male drivers license with me for the remote possibility of being stopped by the police. When I go out, I usually carry cash, though I guess that would be a risk in some areas, and my debit card, for emergency issues.
Also the advice about drinking moderately, which I was glad I followed, as on my latest adventure to a bar, I found the place was being staked by the local cop, as I drove out.
Happy adventures all,
Lili
Whether or not you drive, you need your real ID; and dressing as a CD is no more illegal or “wrong” than dressing for a party. Also, since credit cards are chipped, you don’t need to show ID or even sign receipts any more, so one less thing to worry about.
Suggestion: Accept yourself, and don’t worry about the opinions of others, especially strangers.I’ve only been asked once, and kept my thumb over my photo.
This tactic brought a smile from the guy who asked to see it, and that was all.
No big deal!
Love Laura
See this older thread but as for me never been question most times if carded they just smile and say have a good time Ma am.
I can only share my thought process and do my best to explain it. We all want to be known in our true self, at least I do…I heard someone say on here that We want society to accept cding as normal, and I agree with that…so for me I was forced to ask myself some intense questions…the first Question what was I doing about it…my answer was simply nothing…why…because I was afraid…and I finally broke it down to this…society will never accept my choice of dressing because I was unable or unwilling to accept myself…when I go out in public I want people to know who I am as I am right now, not when I have the perfect outfit, or makeup (all important)…but more important when I look in the mirror after doing all I can…all this flaws I see are still the same whether male or femme attire. that picture and all the information on that ID card will stay the same (unless I transition to female NO I am not)…that is only for legal identification … it is not the information about how I see myself or feel about myself…that information is in my expression, treatment of others and how I speak to myself, hold my head high, look others in the eye, be honest with them and myself, LOOK FOR THE GOOD in everything…I didn’t say it is easy or without pain…but if I really want the world see my real id…it isn’t on a plastic card///carry it proudly.
FYI I have to use id quite often and I do get looks, (I do dress full time and some days not so pretty) so I use an ice breaker…I will comment something alongs the lines “sorry I used the wrong facial scrub when that pic was taken, took me a lotta years to heal from that look. then I smile. it works every time
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The only time I have been asked for my DL ID was at at a Ga State Patrol road block. Came around a curve and there it was, I was about the 4th car in line and when I pulled up he said “driver’s license and insurance card ma’am”. I had them in my hand and gave them to him. He looked at them then looked at me with one of those what do we have here looks. He leaned down and before he could say something I just looked at him and said “it’s me I just enjoy wearing women’s clothing”. He handed me my ID’s back and said have a nice day ma’am. It was a situation that could not be avoided and it went fine. I don’t know if you are familiar with the GSP but they are some of the meanest biggest looking highway patrolmen in the country but also the nicest too.
Sandy
Hi Candy,
Although I have not yet myself had to produce my driver’s licence while dressed, I have read accounts that as long as you are honest with them the police, at least where I live, are OK with it.
There is no law that I know of concerning how we should dress.
“I am going for a drive, or shopping or night out and I prefer to dress this way, Officer.”
That’s my plan anyway. 🙂
Hugs,
Aurora
I had to present my ID at a club in North Carolina. For legal reasons, they required one to purchase a membership (only $1). The manager, while looking at my Driver’s License, asked me my name. I simply pointed to my license and said, “That’s it.” She replied, “No, honey! What’s YOUR name?” I told her, “Raquel.” And that’s what she wrote on my cardboard membership ID. I cherish that piece of paper. It’s proof that Raquel really exists.
I carry my real driver’s license with my masculine name and photo of me as a guy. It would be illegal to use a fake ID. Regardless of how I feel or identify, that is my legal identification unless and until I legally change my name and/or gender. I just hope that while I’m out, I never find myself in a situation where I have to present my ID. So far, so good.
What do I do with my driver’s license? Nothing!
In Canada, we have new Human Rights laws protecting one’s gender-expression and gender-identity. I tuck (no pun intended) this little tidbit of information in my wallet, just in case.
I went out for a drive recently all dressed up. Total freak-out!! White knuckle driving and I was the only one on the country road! I think CDs are the safest drivers out there! LOL!!
Hugs, Barb 🙂
Hi Barb, sounds like Canada is streets ahead regarding CD rights. I woud love to have a licence with my femme name as an alternative, but in Austrlia, we have to submit a request to change our name.
This then appears on all legal papers.
We just have to courageous if caught, and fess up.Best wishes
Jane
Hi Candy. Unfortunately the legalities require my I.D. to be in my birth name – which is close enough – but I do look forward to the next time I require a photo taken. Many of the photos are older, some even with me and a mustache. Ugh! Though I wouldn’t now have a pic done fully en femme, I would look nicer with my longer hair now and a smooth face.
If needed to use my I.D. however, I just have to grin and bear it and say ” sorry, it’s an old picture”.
I can honestly say the old picture of me does not do me justice! 😄
Stevie
Funny story about this. I went out the day after Christmas dressed for the first time in over a decade and a half. My plan was to go to the casino, go out to eat, maybe walk around Walmart or something, and go home. While I was at the casino, I hit a spin on a slot machine that gave me $1350. For those that goes knows that’s what they call a handpay. What that means is somebody comes over, pulls that ticket out of the machine, they ask for your driver’s license and social security card, goes whereever they go, type up some stuff for tax purposes, and comes back with your money. I was not planning on winning anything that big. The guy comes up to me and asks me for my information, I pulled my license and social security card out of my purse, and not thinking, I gave it to him. Ummmmm ma’am, what are you doing with a man’s driver’s license. I didn’t know what to do. So I looked at the guy and told him the truth. I said that it was me and that I’m a crossdresser. He had this weird, strange look on his face, said ok, and went to get my money. When he came back, he asked me if he could talk to me in private. I thought I was in some serious trouble. We find a spot in the hotel area where nobody was and he told me, dude, I’m a crossdresser too, but I would never go out in public dressed as a woman. I was like man, just do it. I explained to him why I haven’t done it in over a decade and a half. What if I run into somebody I know? I was like man, you have to be comfortable in your own skin. If this is who you are, share it with the world. You will never know what kind of influence you might have. If you are scared of running into somebody you know, then go somewhere where you don’t know anybody. That’s why I’m here. End of story right? Wrong. On my way home, I get stopped by the police for speeding. Now I’m really worried. I give the officer my license. He says the same thing the guy at the casino said. I told him I was a crossdresser out having a good time. He runs my liscense, came back, and says sir, ma’am, whatever you are, I’m going to cut you a break. I hope you are who you say you are. What you do is your business and none of mine. Slow down and make it to your destination safely. Have a nice night. I never dreamed one of those situations would happen to me in one night, but to have both happen to me in the same night was kind of funny.
I live in British Columbia, Canada. Now that I have transitioned and I’m living as a trans woman full time, I will be changing and updating all my ID. New photo, new address, new name and the big one, changing the M to an F. That was the one thing I had to really think about, but I found out that you will still have a paper trail that shows you underwent a gender change. So the M will definitely become an F. As one of the ladies at work put it so well, it will be the period at the end of the sentence…!!
Hugs girls,
Lauren M
The worst thing to do is having a fake id. I take my official ID with my official name/gender. Never had any issue either at the ticket counter at the airport or if asked to show id when paying with a credit card (or being carded when ordering an alcoholic drink) or to get into a club.
Using a fake Id may very well land you in jail.Covid notwithstanding, meaning I have only been out once since our loooong lockdowns ended, I do carry my male ID when dressed, but it’s in the form of a marine license to operate, (my long sold) fishing boat.Same details as my drivers licence and lil old forgetful me does not run the risk of losing my “real” license.
I would not and dont need to travel anywhere other than by car onlocal shopping trips/dinners out. ie, not going anywhere of a plane etc. If only cos at the end of that journey, I’m usually meeting folks that dont know about Caty.
I did get stopped by the police one night about 30 years ago in Perth Western Australia. It was late at night and after a quick license check, i was politely informed that I should “go back to my hotel forthwith”
So I did…
Caty.
Hello Caty, ID Great to hVe it, but sometimes we just need to explain who we are. Airports, airlines reasonably good with accepting male on ID, with a femme persona.
I am going to face this situation in September. Have been to the airport enfemme.
My main may be buses, trains in Sydney.
Hope you are well, keeping warm.
Jane
I’ll take my real license with me and I just figured screw it if I have to show it then so be it I’m not going to beat around the bush about it it’s only going to make it worse if you show up with nothing you don’t like couple of occasions where I did have to show up for tonight it was when I had my long hair I was clean shaving when I had taken my license photo so it still didn’t really look any different
I just carry my normal male ID. So far I’ve had to show my driver’s license half a dozen times at department stores to pick up things I’ve ordered online and had no problems. One sweet older lady looked at my photo, then at me, then again at my photo, then again at me, then again at my photo, then again at me and finally said “So you are ______?” I said yes I am & she nicely finished the transaction. All my credit cards & my library card are in my male name & I’ve never had any problems.
The last year or so that I lived in New York State, I dressed 2 or 3 times a month to go to CD gatherings in Rochester and Geneva. The former was once a month and the latter was twice a month. Rochester was an hour and a half away and Geneva was about an hour. Usually I would leave Rochester somewhere around midnight to 1am and drive home. There is a little town about halfway with a McDonald’s and I would often stop for a coffee. One time I missed the exit and continued a little ways to the second exit for the town. Over ~20 years, I have never entered the village from that direction before. In driving through the village, I missed a blinking red light and was stopped by the village police. I gave him my license (Don’s) and he actually just gave me a warning and I continued home. I’ll skip other details beyond just saying the it was really a very concerning experience.
A few years back I made a conscious decision not to invest effort in changing everything that I am associated with. It got way beyond driver’s license and birth certificate. If you stopped there, everything else wouldn’t match up: pensions, social security, car title, taxes, mortgage, etc. A few of these may happen automatically, but you still need to follow up to make sure that things actually happened. So, the only thing that I have in DeeAnn’s name is a credit card. These days I am not planning physical transition, but my social transition is essentially and I present as DeeAnn maybe 98% of the time.
In 2018 I participated in MINI Takes The States. It is a cross country tour arranged by MINI/BMW. My total mileage was around 2000 miles and I stayed in 9 or 10 hotels. I made all of the reservations in DeeAnn’s name and used her credit card. Of all the placed where I stayed I only got one double-take when they realized that my driver’s license was different from my credit card. That’s about the most reaction that I’ve gotten in 6 or 7 years…
I carry my legal license…yes, its for a male. But so far, I have not had any issues with law enforcement. I have provided my ID when checking into hotels and frankly, the front desk staff has never batted an eye.
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