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Hello ladies,
So the reason why I am asking this is because yesterday I ran into someone I know while entering a store to pickup some women’s clothes that I had ordered online to be picked up in store. Luckily this particular store has a men’s department as well and I was in guy mode at the time so when I told him I was there to pick up an online order it wasn’t like he had caught me or anything. I didn’t tell him what I was picking up nor did he ask. But this interaction has made me think about what would happen if I ever ran into someone I know while dressed femme. Would they recognize me? Would my instinctive reaction of fearing being caught cause me to give it away? So has anyone here ever had this situation happen to them? And if so, how did you handle it? Did they recognize you or just continue about their day because they had no idea it was you?
This is one of those situations that makes a lot of girls scared of going out, and I was one of them.
Over the years I saw people who I knew and diverted away and sometimes I realised too late and had to pass them by. One time I was in a restaurant with friends and on a table adjacent to me were neighbours and friends. I was with a couple of friends and I could see them looking around but it is natural to do so and they didn’t clock me and nothing was said. I can say that in all the years of being out I have never had anyone I know who I have been near in public recognise me.
The first thing is that they do not know you as a female so would be less likely to recognise you. People out and about are wrapped up in their own thoughts and are focused on what they are doing so in a crowd, unless you stand out, they wouldn’t give you a second glance.
I am lucky that I look fine in public and can interact with no problems. Those who are not so blessed will be seen as a crossdresser and perhaps attract attention for that reason so it would go that if someone you knew saw you it would be for that before any recognition they know you.
Hi Angelica
Happened twice when I’ve been en femme. Each time was in a shopping mall passing people who know my male persona but not Bianca.
Each time resolved to pass the person as natural as I could muster given I was about to pee myself with nerves.
Head up chest out, brief glance their way and passed by without any stopping or staring from them, or me suddenly changing direction or skulking away or acting irrationally. As far as I’m aware they were none the wiser. Phew!!!Another step along my path to confidence out en femme. Did they see a woman or a man in a dress, I don’t care. But I’m sure I look sufficiently different en femme that I won’t be recognised unless it’s by someone who knows my Bianca side.
I now also have more confidence going into stores en femme shopping for anything feminine. In fact I will now shop in womenswear in my drab male attire as well, to be honest I don’t really care anymore. The salespeople don’t care either, they want a sale. In fact female shop assistants are usually thrilled when I say I’m shopping for myself, have even tried on womenswear in shops I went into in my male attire. No probs, simply fess up be honest and they will, as far as I have experienced, help you.B x
Yes I have been out as Gina and ran across people I knew, since there is so much of a change from my male looks to female looks they did not recognize me (Whewwww) . One time at a bar I was taking to some girls and they di not believe my age I show D/L and the gal said your from ____ that’s where I am from I am so & so wife, alas I knew him but had never met the wife she said that’s ok your secret is safe. A couple of other times I have been out and ran into customers and my voice gave me away but again they said no worries. I could go on & on with more but the answer is yes but never been outed .
Hi, when i have been out wandering around the shopping malls i have seen people i know. Mostly just in passing and they never noticed. I have been on the supermarket getting groceries and while wandering around saw a couple i knew. Passed them several a number of times, but they never showed any signs of recognition. I think i look too different for any one casually looking to recognise the male me. If it was a 10 minute face to face discussion, that may be a different story.
Jane
I no longer worry about meeting people enfemme, I’m dressed most of the time.
Now that is something I started doing 2022 so it’s still a lot of people who doesn’t know about Kelly and yes, I do run in to people who doesn’t know. I did write about one time in https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/got-caught-on-purpose/ where in short I did see some people I know and instead of avoiding them I walked over to them and had a little chat about things other than my apperance./kelly
I went into a jeweler just before Christmas and was looking at earings when the assistent recognised me. She worked behind the bar of the arts center where I practiced with my band. I dont disguise my voice or try being anything other than I am when out and about. I was looking at a pair I particularly liked when she turned up behind me and asked if “I would like to see them closer by”. I recognised her, but carried on as if I didnt, we had quite a long conversation before I saw that she had recognised me, but didn’t dare say anything. I smiled and gave in and said “hi Silvia” still she couldn’t recognise me, not because I am so convincing but just because we weren’t in the situation and setting we would normally be in. I told her and she found it amazing that I could look so different. I didnt buy the earrings but we had a lovely conversation. She found it awkward how to end our chat ,one, I think because she doesn’t know me well enough to ask the question about ‘how further’ should she keep it a secret, or is it ok to have the ‘guess who I saw in the shop laste week , and he was a she’ at the bar. And two, it would be rude to ask about a customers blatant transgenderism when in your place of work. I relieved her of both by saying this is the parttime me, I am as comfortable dressed like this as I am in front of an audience of a thousand on the stage and that its not a secret, I just dont advertise it.
So to close, I dont think anyone outside of family or friends would confront you. They might tittle-tattle but but todays news is tomorrows recycled toilet roll.Ok heres a real doozy!! My wife and I were at a gay bar ( when we first got together and I had not met much of her family) we go to while Im en femme. So were having a cocktail and chatting with some gurls and I said wow Ive seen that guy here a lot. She turned and looked then quickly looked at me and said ” we have to sneak out of here NOW, THATS MY UNCLE! OMG WE GRABBED OUR PURSES AND HIT THE FLOOR RUNNING! Of course we were wearing short little mini skirts and heels!! When we got to the car we just laughed. A few years later her uncle shows up to a family outing with his friend “Jen”. Who turns out to be a trans male to female. Well that was a bullet dodged!!
This is one of the major things that keeps so many of in the closet. I did nearly run into a couple of former co-workers and 2 people from my Church and what I usually do is casually walk a different direction or just walk by. But this has been a few months back and in the last 2 months I have been seeking out encounters with some of these people.
I am not ready to be out to all (the women are easier to come out to), but one or two here and there. Foe me it is getting to the point where the excitement of coming out to more people out weighs the fear of keeping Cassie secret.. Cassie
A lot. Especially now I’ve transitioned. Especially when I first came out. People would look right at me and talk to me and have no idea. And now I see people I used to know that don’t know me at all. I do look drastically different though. But even before my transition. I’d see people I knew. And they never once acted like they knew me.
Hi girls,
I’m a trans woman and live and work dressed femme every day. The place I work at is a government office building, 95% of the staff being women, and there is a fairly constant changeover in staff as people retire, move to another ministry or go on maternity leave.
Over the time that I’ve been working there as a woman named Lauren, there have been a number of women, who knew me before, return after being away prior to my transitioning. None of them recognized me. I greeted each of them by their first name and each of them were puzzled how this woman, who they didn’t recognize, knew their name.
I introduced myself as Lauren, and the reaction so far has been wonderfully positive. I told them my story and many of them were very tearful and overjoyed upon hearing of my transitioning. It’s actually been quite enjoyable introducing my new self!Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
Hi Angelica,its Michelle.Some of my neighbors have seen me dressed as Michelle,I wont be afraid anymore.A few months ago one of my elderly neighbors was walking her dog and I,as Michelle,pulled into the driveway in Martys truck.Of course the dog knows me as both,but she had a very doubtful look on her face until I said “Hi,its me,Marty,but in a different wrapper”.At that she broke into the biggest smile and said”Honey,you look great and where did you get those legs”?We both laughed and had a great conversation and a wonderful day.
No and I doubt it will happen. Mostly cos 9 times out of ten, I go femme in an area about 40k’s south of where I live.
The only exceptions have been when I came back femme from a shopping trip and could not get the garage door on my accommodation to go up. The receptionist had to come out and do it for me. Now I’ve been a regular there for years, O I guess we could say I was “known”.
I’d love to have a look at my file at that place and see if the above was ever recorded
The second one would have to be the two make up artists who have transformed me into Caty and been out to dinner with me.
But I dont think this one “counts” in terms of the thread.
Caty.
Many times. Siblings one Son two Grandchildren a Employee and his family that lives thirty yards away and many acquaintences. No reaction from any of them. My neighbor said thank you when I met them and held the door for them as I held my breath. I think it might be different if they knew they were looking for me but no one knows but my children. People are so busy with their own lives. They might see a cute or a ugly girl but they see a girl.
I had a chance encounter with a former co-worker while dressed. She was already aware, so it didn’t come as a complete shock to her. We had a nice conversation and went our own ways.
In the past seven years that I’ve taken my “act” to the public. I’ve never had that happen &, although I do most of it about two hours from my home, I do occasionally shop locally. I’m sure the neighbors have seen me walking to my car or drive by, but none have ever said anything.
Relating to what Angela said, I have been out, on occasion, with groups of other girls. Some were not very passable. That attracted attention & gave us away. Being in that group, I became “guilty by association”.
Yes. The first time I ever went out in public in my town I hit up the adult theater here in town and walk in first person I see is a client of mine/ acquaintance. I wanted to run out but he told me to sit down. So I did… he told me “we are all here for the same reason, your secret is safe with me” talk about a little boost of confidence! I have only gone out in public here in town just a couple times but the anxiety if it has diminished because of it.
I’ve had a couple of experiences like this.
When I first started going out wearing capri length jeans and some femme flats I ran into an old neighbor, who I really liked. She was in her car and I had just gotten out of mine. I felt so bad cause she stopped to chat and I had to hide myself! I think she went off thinking I didn’t want to talk to her. Felt so bad.
In another (funny) instance I ran into a couple we knew through our sons, who were in the same scout troop. My son and I were waiting for an electronic store to open when they wondered by. I was wearing a white short sleeve shirt, cami under it, black capris and black flats/femme loafers (mind you my legs are smooth).
They came up and started talking to us. The Father is one of those who is just full of himself and just cant talk enough about himself and the fact that his son had gotten into an ivy league school. On and On and on (ugh). His wife however was standing there just looking at me up and down. She saw what I was wearing (but I did not care), but the really funny part was….she was wearing a white blouse, black capris and black flats!!!!! WE WERE DRESSED IDENTICALLY!!!!
I thought that was so funny!!!! Who knows what she thought!!
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