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So this morning started just like any other morning. I start my mornings with a ride on my Peloton. This is where my wife and I have come to terms with my dressing. She and I have agreed I can do this when she’s around, so I wear my leggings, sports bra, and breast forms. No wig or makeup, just my full workout gear. This morning, I was looking for my smartwatch, and it was left in my car from the previous day. I went outside before checking to see if anyone was there. I got in the car and found my watch. I hear my neighbor curiously say my name as I close the door. I realize I’m in leggings and a sports bra and have my breast forms. She said, “Good morning” I just stood there and responded, “Hey, good morning.” She asks, “You getting ready to work out or something?” Her facial expression said everything. As we both stood there, I could see her looking me up and down. She must have stopped and looked at my chest 3 or 4 times. I could tell she was trying to hold back from laughing, so I thought. She says, “Well, you look great, and I can see you have lost a lot of weight.” ( I’ve lost 40 lbs. over the last six months) After that, I said, ” Why thank you, that means a lot; I have been trying. Well, I got to run and get this work out in. Have a good day.” As I walk back to my house, I’m freaking out that my neighbor just saw me dressed, and she’s friends with my wife. One of my wife’s issues is she doesn’t want anyone to know about my dressing. She is ok with it but doesn’t want me or her to be judged for it. I knew this was going to get back to her. So I go inside and find my wife. I explained to her what had just happened. She looked at me and said, “Well, why did you go outside dressed like that if you didn’t want to be seen? It doesn’t matter; she won’t say anything. She doesn’t care.” Now that is the same comment my wife had used when it came out at work that I wore woman’s panties. She said that because everyone had already known. So I asked my wife, “Does she already know?” My wife gave me a look like yeah, everyone knows. Then says, “She does; she has seen you in your leggings before and probably your panties lines that you don’t hide. You seem to like to show them off, so what did you expect that people wouldn’t find out. She and I talked about it on our walk one night, and she didn’t care. But if you don’t want people to know about your crossdressing, stop trying to be seen. You don’t try to hide it. It’s like you want people to know. So they do.” I could tell she was agitated, so I didn’t want to continue the conversation. It’s always best to let it go and talk about this when she’s not mad. I said, “Ok, I will be more discreet.” She then fires back, “It’s a little late for that, don’t you think.” After that comment, I went and finished my workout and started my day.
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The wife may be pissed at the moment but this could be a good thing. By her own admission she has outed you to the neighbor and says everyone knows and its your own body to do as you please so this could be a step forward. The neighbor that saw you will surely pass on her thoughts to your wife and everyone else. Relax and let things progress.
I read that differently, in that the neighbor asked about feminine leggings and panty lines. Dear wife had to admit to something she would have rather kept secret.
Michelle –
Glad you were able to have a conversation with your wife about what happened. Someitmes our wives are more in tune with what is happening than we are. There have been a number of times my wife has said something to me about my dressing and surprised me. Once we went for a walk and she asked me what Suzanne would like for Christmas. That led to a whole conversation and online shopping. The next couple days were conversations about Suzanne, it felt good to talk to her and “clear the air” so to speak. I keep my dressing in the house other than occasionally taking the dog for a walk wearing panties under my male clothes (which are too baggy for VPL). I do occasionally dress for therapy sessions, but my therapist has a private office where I can change so nothing in public. There has been one time I dressed in public and that was at a support group meeting and I changed when I got there. When she asked me how it was I think I was a bit too exuberant and she got a bit upset. I haven’t gone to another one since, partially because fo her reaction but also because it wasn’t what I was looking for.
It sounds like she is understanding and supportive to a point. Communication is the key.
XOXO
SuzanneMy gf who lives with me worries on how my crossdressing will reflect on her. I’ve walked around the yard on a week day wearing women’s jeans and a women’s flannel shirt. Not dressed feminine at all yet she made comments about being seen. A couple years ago we took a road trip for 10 days. I got in our vehicle wearing the same clothes I just mentioned. No makeup or other female items, Stopped for gas a few times, used bathrooms. When we got to our motel for the night I asked about going for dinner. She told me she wasn’t interested in dinner, I had “publicly humiliated” her by wearing those clothes. I changed and we did go for dinner. So if I had talked with a neighbor wearing sports bra and leggings she would feel it was a reflection on her, not me
Michelle, sounds like your wife is somewhat accepting, but is not sure how this will affect her first and second you and the two of you. You are so lucky in one level that your wife loves you enough that she is not talking about leaving you for this or earlier just for being CD. Give her some time to digest the situation, but communicate how she feels and what you feel you need to do/be.
All my best to the both of you!!!. . Cassie
She seems to be more accepting as time goes on. I also think she is starting to like the girl talk we have about clothing ect..
Michelle,
Your wife may accept your dressing, if kept discreet. Yet you continue to let work and neighbors see you partially dressed. Someday your wife will have had enough and lay down ultimatums and you’ll wonder why.
Frequent posts mention an accepting wife who suddenly changes her mind. You’ve not respected her wishes to remain discreet. Now that the secret is out does not give you permission to flaunt feminine attire at will.
Eileen
That is very true
I live in a retirement community and by now my neighbors have seen Michelle coming and going and at this stage of my life I am not hiding my crossdressing any more.But at the same time,and please forgive me if this sounds confrontational,I am not forcing the issue of my dressing on any of my neighbors.I have had some very nice conversations with my neighbors while dressed as Michelle and for the most part,there has been no problem.Enjoy your femininety ladies,Michelle.
Hi Michelle,
Well, these things happen, it goes with the territory. Like it or not that particular genie is out of the bottle.
I don’t know the circumstances of your SO becoming aware of your crossdressing. I could imagine she might be experiencing emotions and fears similar to those you might have had in earlier days , albeit one step removed.
From what you’ve said, she seems to care about you and at the same time worries for you, and is trying to clarify the situation as she sees it. A lot of patient listening to each other is on the cards. I hope things turn out well.
eM xxx
Thank you for your response. So this was about a year ago. Since then most if not all my neighbors know I enjoy cross dressing. On different occasions a few of the woman neighbors have come by the house while I’ve been working out or lounging around dressed (Leggings/Sports Bras) not to see me but my wife. At this point I have had many conversations with them while dressed. Never fully dressed with wig or make up but fully dressed in active wear and bra inserts. It was awkward in the beginning for me but now it’s just what happens. No one really cares. So far I haven’t heard any rude comments or noticed anything different then before. So I see it as everything happens for a reason.
We’re like test pilots, it’s our nature to push that envelope, see if we can handle whatever comes next. It worries our loved ones, they don’t want to lose us in a crash.
My SO doesn’t care what I wear as it’s not full femme (dress, skirt, hose, heels) in public it’s pretty copacetic with her. It’s an easy boundary to respect.
I can’t imagine that my ladies swim gear goes unnoticed at the aquatic center but it certainly goes unremarked upon. As Michelle B. said, I’m not forcing the issue, I’m just wearing what supports me and optimizes my workout.
I hope that your SO and you can work it out, Michelle, it does sound like you have a well-grounded relationship.
Hugs & kisses,
W.
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