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Dear Genetic Girls….,
Lol, I feel like I’m writing a letter. Thank You for being here, I really do appreciate your perspective on things ladies, and would love it on something…
Now, one thing I have noticed with my GG friends and their friends is a quicker understanding and acceptance of “simple crossdressing” (their words), than the transfeminine aspect of being trans. They seem to see and acknowledge crossdressing as more of a “fetish and hobby” as opposed to me being “not normal” ( their words again). Makes me wonder whether it’s a lot easier – and simpler? – accepting just the womens’ clothes of a crossdresser instead of the woman inside the clothes too, of a trans? It seems to be a lot easier explaining that one loves wearing women’s clothing but likes being a man, as opposed to I like wearing women’s clothing because of my gender, and I dont like being a man.
Be it a friend or partner, I guess in one instance you do not feel like you are “losing your man”, and in the other you are? Or is it all the same thing in the end?
Thank you girls ❤
Stevie
Shortly after the introduction to my spouse’s hidden desire, I was scared of losing him to transition. I didn’t trust that he was being honest with me ( or himself) about how much was wanted or needed.
It’s been almost two years of just living in the moment to explore what it all means to each of us. Sometimes for me, the hard part is allowing unexpected, unplanned parts of life to develop.
Future Hormones & surgery have been discussed more recently now that my emotions have settled and I have the experienced life with her. I’m still fearful of missing him but I can’t deny there’s a definite joy about her!We both are practicing the art of living day by day to see where the journey takes us together.
The difference is only one for me: do I have to live with the person as a life partner? If we are talking about a friend, they can be whatever they want, crossdressers or transgender. I would treat them the same way. Only care about whether they can be a good friend and support me in my life’s journey, as I support them. Even in friendships with non-tg men, they are not treated differently than my female friends. Ever heard the term “friendzoned”? Any sexual feelings are not part of our interactions and therefore, it does not make the slightest difference to me.
But if we are talking about a relationship where I am expecting physical attraction, that changes everything. Crossdressing is not as intrusive as being transgendered, I guess. But I would be as attracted to them as I would be to my lesbian friends, and that is zero. I am not taking into consideration though the psyche of a crossdresser vs a trans woman, as I can’t experience either. I think both have their challenges for the person going through it, and for their families as well. Crossdressing probably impacts the family less, especially if it is done in private, since the wife and kids dont have to “justify” the behaviour to anyone. Being trans is as obvious as cis male and female and it requires more “justification” and explanation to third parties. I really wish that wasn’t the case but unfortunately, social interactions and norms are still a thing. If we all lived in isolation, it would have probably been easier for the family. I think all of us, including the members of this forum, would pause internally at least and wonder what happened if the Dave we knew one day showed up as Davina the next. In conclusion, I think being transgendered is a lot more complicated in terms of relationships.
Thank you Eileen. Seems I have some GG friends who seem to understand crossdressing more…. the woman comes out with the clothing, as opposed to myself, where the woman is always there regardless of what I’m wearing. Clothes are always nice, but not required to feel feminine. I think it’s the non-transitioned part that makes them think that if you haven’t physically transitioned (at least to some degree) you’re “just” a crossdresser, so you should call yourself that then. I do enjoy the opportunity to educate others though. 🙂
Stevie
Thank you Rita! I totally agree with what you said at first – its harder for most people to understand the ‘trans thing’ as opposed to a crossdresser who fancies knickers…. and of course its difficult to accept something you dont understand. Certainly it all comes down to communication – asking honest questions, giving honest answers, and above all, being Totally Open about it.
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