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  • #692753
    Lauren Mugnaia
    Participant
    Registered On: November 1, 2021
    Topics: 19
    Replies: 499
    Has thanked: 7048 times
    Been thanked: 2743 times

    I have a question for all of you girls. Many on this forum, including myself, identify as being transgender and some are at various stages in transitioning. How “out” to the world do we wish to be. I’ve been reading about how important it is that we make people aware of being transgender, as the general public needs further and correct information on the topic.
    So, for me. I work in a very public environment where many of my co workers are aware that I’m a trans woman, and I am accepted as such. The other staff are not aware and to them I’m just “the lady at the security desk.” I ride public transit to and from work and getting around anywhere else. Sometimes I know I’ve been “clocked” but most of the time I believe I’m passing. I have some badges that I ordered that feature transgender slogans like “This is what trans looks like.”, “Trans is beautiful”, “I’m a girl” and “She/Her”. So the question is this, do I advertise the fact and let everybody know I’m transgender or keep that to myself and they can remain remain in blissful ignorance?

    Let me know what you think.

    Thanks, and great big hugs,

    Ms. Lauren M

Viewing 5 reply threads
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    • #692960
      Meghan Brandice
      Lady
      Registered On: April 15, 2022
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 137
      Has thanked: 188 times
      Been thanked: 570 times

      Hello Lauren, unlike some others here I stray away from this public horn tooting. My personal life is my own and don’t feel ( for myself ) that I have to shout it from the rooftops and beat the drum to rally the masses. I am a lone wolf , a crossdresser, enjoy female impersonator at home and in public , not being out with a like crowd or group, I like to travel public solo or over the years with my wife, close male friends to go to Symphonies.dinner  or lunch as a woman , then go home change, clean up and revert back to my male self. It’s a self indulgent hobby that I’ve been doing over 50 years. But, to each their own

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #692931
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 1288
      Has thanked: 4760 times
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      I believe it is a choice for the individual. It depends on circumstances, location and, as in the case of the U.S., political posturings affecting public perception and opinion. I am sure there are better places than others to be able to openly express your affiliation, as yours appears to be.

      In my early years I would never have dared to advertise any badge or sign when I was out. I thought I was being read at every turn and feared for my safety if challenged. In my case I did get read and had few encounters when I started to go out alone which I dealt with without further incident. Since being full time and starting to work where staff and clients only know Angela it has gone very well. Of course there are those who realize I am trans but no one has asked anything about that and I have been treated very well. At interview I have said that if any of my colleagues has an issue I would be happy to answer any questions.  Like you Cassie I can honestly say that the majority of those I engage with just see a woman. I have a few friends now who only know me as I am now and, again, no questions asked.

      We have to owe a debt of gratitude to the LGBT+ groups who have fought hard over many decades to gain acceptance and change legislation for us to be able to live our lives as any other citizen. I have shown my support by donating to support pride and an organisation that is defending our rights.

       

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #692816
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 69
      Replies: 1086
      Has thanked: 2584 times
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      Lauren, I say come out as you need/have to. Take each person, each situation one by one as you need. People who don’t need to know now; there is no reason in coming out to them.
      . Cassie

    • #692801
      Emily Alt
      Hostess
      Registered On: August 24, 2019
      Topics: 22
      Replies: 1055
      Has thanked: 1090 times
      Been thanked: 5207 times

      TLDR – own it girls!

      Other groups in the LGBTQ community, gays and lesbians for example, have demonstrated the path to greater acceptance is greater visibility.  I have no doubt our path should be the same.  I say this despite the risks from certain members of society.  Those other groups didn’t shy away from engaging with the public during the darker periods in their fight for acceptance.  There were tough times and tragedies to be sure.  But look where they are now – widely accepted (or at least tolerated) by most members of society.

      I believe we will get there in a decade, give or take.  Our movement is too big to fail.  As a demographic group, our numbers grow every year.  Our voices are growing louder.  People are listening and attitudes are changing, albeit slowly.

      Why do you think the pushback we’re seeing now is happening?  Trans people have existed for millennia.  Yet it’s only been in the last 10 years we’ve seen an organized effort to marginalize us.

      It’s a reaction to irrational fear.  Fear of the perceived threat to the status quo.  The same thing happened with the gay and lesbian communities a generation ago.  Again, we know how that turned out.  Their voices got too loud to be silenced.  The opposition gave up.  Now they’re turning their attention to us.  The result will be the same.

      Obviously not all of us are in a position to be a voice for change.  But if you do go out, consider that you’re an ambassador for our community every time you walk out the door.  No badge necessary.  Most people will figure it out anyway.  That said, we can blend in.  We can look good.  We can dress and behave in a respectable manner.  You’d be surprised how many people don’t care and will respond positively when we interact with them.  With a little common sense, the risk of a bad situation is pretty minimal.

      ….and don’t forget to smile!

      Rainbow trails,
      Emily

      • #693040
        Emily Alt
        Hostess
        Registered On: August 24, 2019
        Topics: 22
        Replies: 1055
        Has thanked: 1090 times
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        An addendum to my comment….

        Badges.  Whether they’re worn literally or figurative, it’s a personal choice.

        Some members of our community are loud and proud with their trans-ness.  I have no problem with that per se.  There are places and times when loud and proud is very effective.  A Pride parade or trans run business for example.

        However, I would offer that one consider their audience before taking an in your face approach.  Some people don’t respond well to our message when they’re hit on the head with it.

        How the message is presented is as important as the message itself.

        /EA

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #692769
      Sarah Cerise
      Lady
      Registered On: September 25, 2022
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 111
      Has thanked: 309 times
      Been thanked: 416 times

      Hi Lauren
      If your comfortable and happy letting the public know your trans, or if you just want to promote
      the trans community then go for it.Just be mindful sweetheart there are morons out there who won’t accept trans and are totally opposed to the trans people.
      Love Sarah xx

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #692755
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 29
      Replies: 1652
      Has thanked: 11333 times
      Been thanked: 8233 times

      Hi Lauren.

      Maybe I’m being a bit paranoid but we should always think safety. I think you should wear the badges at work where there is a controlled environment but I would hesitate wearing them on public transport because you never know who you will run into. As we know, some people take offense at LGBTQ people and in a public situation it may get out of hand. I would really hate to read of someone confronting you in a bad way. But thats just my opinion, I’m sure others will vary.

      • #692772
        Lauren Mugnaia
        Duchess
        Registered On: November 1, 2021
        Topics: 19
        Replies: 499
        Has thanked: 7048 times
        Been thanked: 2743 times

        Thanks Michelle, I tend to agree with you, I ordered the badges thinking I’d be a good ambassador and educate a few people. But with the current state of affairs in various states of the ununited states of America, I think if you pass most of the time, then be very happy and run with being accepted as a woman.
        I don’t think there’s even a need to wear them at work, I freely talk with co workers who have returned to the building since my transition, telling them my story, and have been accepted by all of them.
        Many have said that If they hadn’t been told they would never have known I am a trans woman.

        Hugs girlfriend,

        Ms. Lauren M

        3 users thanked author for this post.
        • #692789
          Michelle McQueen
          Lady
          Registered On: June 14, 2021
          Topics: 29
          Replies: 1652
          Has thanked: 11333 times
          Been thanked: 8233 times

          Hi Lauren.

          I believe you have said you work at a front desk maybe in the lobby. Your coworkers may already know about you but I’m sure you probably interact with the public who would not know so there may be an opportunity to educate a few people. You are an ambassador for all of us and there may be other places you could wear the badges too without fear.

          3 users thanked author for this post.
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