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Hey y’all! Glad to have joined this community, you all seem so warm and accepting! I (somewhat recently) told my wife about my dressing and luckily she was accepting although somewhat taken aback and obviously had a lot of questions. Some of these questions I found quite difficult to answer because Im still figuring this part of me out. Like a lot of folks I went through cycles of buying clothing, makeup, etc. and then at a later point throwing it all away in an effort to suppress this part of myself, the last time being when my wife and I first started dating. Because of this I had always seen my crossdressing as an activity that I’d grow out of not a integral part of who I am, obviously I was wrong and I’m coming to accept that this is part of me and I need to better understand it, nurture it and learn to love myself for it. ❤️ Anyway that was probably too much for the introduction, but I was in a mood lol. Don’t be a stranger I love meeting and chatting with new folks! ☺️
You’re doing the right thing, Andrea. Before I started the thrill of cross-dressing, I learned to love myself first, and three years later, I still love being a CD! It’s also nice to know that your wife was accepting. Acceptance is very important. Welcome to the family.
XOXO Revel
Hey gf.,
So congrats on telling your wife. My plan is to tell her within the next two months. I’m curious on what questions she asked and also can I ask how long you have been married? Hugs
carole
Carole
Yes I’m very lucky to have her in my life. ☺️ That’s fantastic, I hope it goes well! ❤️ She was mostly just curious as to what it meant for my gender identity, she was nervous about if I wanted to fully transition (I don’t think I do) and what that would mean for our relationship and the life we are planning together. She was also worried about bringing it into the bedroom as that is not something she feels comfortable being a part of and her main concern was that I would be disappointed with her because of that (obviously I’m not!). She also asked if I had any desire to do it publicly, which I’m not super sure of but her biggest concern regarding me going out dressed is for my safety, the world can be rough and she was worried if I went out dressed someone would wind up harassing or assaulting me. I actually told her well before we got married. We’ve only been married a few months now.!
Hi Andrea!
First off, welcome to CDH!! Enjoy meeting other like minded girls! You are amongst friends here!
I am so happy your wife is accepting, that is awesome!! We all have questions to figure out, we are all here to help!
Denise
Welcome to CDH, Andrea. I think telling your wife is a very good thing too, and it seems like it went well. Most of us seem to go through similar cycles. I started about 12 or so, then gave it up in my late teens, and didn’t miss it for years.
The toughest question that we can never seem to answer is “Why”. I have given this analogy in my own life. I have always been musical, and have been drawn to make music, since long before I started dressing up. To that end I have learned to play several instruments, but no one asks me “why do you want to play piano..(etc)..”. It’s just part of what makes me tick.
Same with dressing up, except us men aren’t supposed to show a feminine side, and it goes against social norms, and is even considered sinful in some quarters.
So enjoy exploring this great site, there is so much to read!
Amy
Amy,
Thank you! It did go well and I’m lucky to have her in my life! I also started dressing around 11-12, taking a couple years off every now and then. It certainly is difficult with all the societal pressures and taboo against it. I haven’t tried to think to much about the why, I know it wouldn’t lead to anything productive. I feel like sometimes when folks ask why it happens is so they can prevent it or cute it, which is antithetical to accepting that it is a part of who we are. I love the music analogy by the way! ☺️
Hi Andre nice to meet you and so happy you found and joined us girls here on the best CD site on the internet so get settled in relax and enjoy yourself.. As a new sister and family member you are welcomed with open arms into our home as well as yours now also.. so much to see and do here from reading the forums and posts from many ladies telling there stories about there travels down there femme path in life.. So when you get comfortable with us please join in with some comments to these ladies then yippee your turn just a story or two about the life and times of Andrea as she travels down her girly path in life.. So happy to hear your wife is supportive of Andrea as she is a gem in our world here .. As for making friends here there are so many ladies here from all over the world to build long lasting friendships with.. If you and your wife would be intrested there is a group for Wifes and Significant others for her to join and chat with other wifes that we cant access just for them so more private for them to discuss the things she has questions about .. So again nice to meet you and hope to see you around for a chat sometime..
Stephanie Bass
Such a pretty profile picture does wife help with makeup or just you ???
Stephanie,
Thank you so much I look forward to learning from others experience and sharing my journey as well! ☺️ My wife may very well already be on here, she joined an online group to learn more and find support for herself in this as well shortly after I told her about 9 months ago I haven’t pestered her about which one because that is a space for her but now that I’ve joined this one I may ask. I’ve actually been really lucky and blessed telling all of my past partners some even helped with my makeup and let me borrow clothes which is a wonderful feeling, my wife is not at that point but I’m very lucky to have her. ☺️ Unfortunately my picture is mostly fancy filters from faceapp lol but I like to use it as my goal for where I want my makeup to be, to shy to share my real face here just yet but hopefully someday!
Welcome to CDH Andrea, nice to meet you! Sounds like you have a really supportive wife and telling her was a huge step for you. I had the same confusion about CD’ing that I had to work through in my younger years but I found myself and discovered that this is who I am. I have a fem side (a very fem side) and that has helped make me the person I am today. Most important advice I can give you is BE YOU and everything will work out.
Hugs, Jess
Welcome Andrea!
— Abbie 🥰
Andrea Skye (I love your name! It’s so resonant and pretty!),
Welcome, welcome!!! 🙂
It’s great that your wife was accepting at all! Many of us haven’t had that support, and if you love her, tell her as much as you CAN about your CD feelings!
With almost everyone that I’ve come out to (male and female), almost invariably, I got a confused look, and then, “are you gay“? From there, I would have to explain about why I’m a CD, why I enjoy it, etc… Its takes longer to explain to some than to others. It would be great to say, “you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone”, but that’s almost NEVER the case. Work, friends, family – there’s so many people that don’t understand what you’re feeling, but it’s different here. You’re among friends and sisters that don’t judge. We just want you to feel at home.
Just be you, Andrea!
Valerie
Valarie,
Thanks I’ve just always gravitated toward the name Andrea for some reason,its funny my male name is gender neutral so I could have just kept it but I wanted some separation there. I definitely agree we actually had a chat earlier this week It was the first time we talked about it since I told her and it was difficult and tough for sure but it was good since there were a lot of things that were left unsaid and questions that were (and still are!) unanswered. I can definitely relate to the telling people part and having to explain yourself, it can be exhausting for sure but I try to remind myself that they are likely coming from a place of love and wanting to understand you more. Thanks for the welcome, I look forward to chatting more! ☺️
Andrea❤️
Hi Andrea,
Welcome to CDH! So much of your story is very similar to me, although I’m alot earlier in my journey. Will be great to get to chat to you.
Nadia
Hi Andrea,
You said “part of me”.
Oh yes Andrea. This is easily part of me.
Here’s where I am – is this part of me, or is it possible that this is me?
I know what the answer is and it scares me.
Love to all,
Diane
Welcome Andrea to the most wonderful community. Having an accepting wife is huge in this journey. I wrote a journal entry ona picture from Halloween when I surprised my wife as her from the 80’s. We had a great time at the party; however she only wants me as her strong husband. We have the same style love the goth and risque look. would love to chat with another girl in New York. I dress as often as possible and have been working on my make up skills constantly.
Hugz,
ClariceClarice,
Love the name by the way, also I saw the photo you looked great! ☺️ I can relate to that I believe that’s how my wife feels at the moment which is why she doesn’t want to see me dressed as it could alter her view of me, which is kinda tough as I’m sure we all know.
I love that we share the same style! would love to swap outfit tips and stuff with you sometime, I’ve just always really loved the punk/goth aesthetic and it’s a community that I’ve generally found to be pretty accepting of folks who don’t conform to traditional gender roles. I love the look of leather and anything black lol, but there’s definitely a part of me that is obsessed with stereotypical ultra feminine clothing and anything hot pink too. ☺️
Andrea❤️
Hi Andrea,
I’m in the same boat girl. I didn’t get support or understanding. I take that back, my mom and maybe one or two other people in my life, have accepted me and support me no matter what. Just got my second divorce finalized. Now, I’m working on finding out if this is truly me or not. I look forward to hearing from you and hope we can become friends. Best of luck girl, hit me up anytime.
Peace n love 💕
Natalee
Natalee,
I’m sorry to hear that, I hope you can find more people to support and love you for you! ❤️ In all honesty it’s a little silly I haven’t told more people in my life as I’m lucky enough to know that they would likely support me. In fact I plan on telling my best friend who’s trans tonight, fingers crossed it goes well.
Andrea❤️
Welcome to CDH the best CD site on the internet.
Kathleen xxxxx💋❤
Welcome to CDH Andrea! 🌸
My wife met Patty a couple of weeks after we met. She was stunned and shocked at how pretty and sexy Patty was. She also thought it would be fun if we went out together as girlfriends.
She encouraged me to do things and go places that was much bolder then I would have ever done on my own. So we were not just boyfriend/girlfriend but girlfriends too.
Patty,
That is wonderful and I’m so happy for you and your wife that you get to share that! ❤️ I had a partner in my younger years who reacted that way she would help me dress, help with my makeup, etc. So I know how wonderful and bonding that experience can be. ☺️
Andrea❤️
Andrea isn’t it wonderful when you have support from someone so close to ones heart . Having your wife’s acceptance certainly makes this journey most fulfilling. I too enjoy this but with full agreement as she needs to be a important part in these decisions. Liberty’s are a blessing and never taken for granted. My wife has been supportive but with caution. Boundaries were discussed and agreements were met. I have read many spouses who show some or try to accept do this reluctantly so your not alone. You now have many here too to enjoy expressing yourself with total acceptance and a confinance to explore more. Happy to welcome you and enjoy your time with us.
Stephanie 🌹
Stephanie,
Thank you and I definitely agree, my wife is my partner and the love of my life I want to include her in these decisions as it affects her as well. The thing I struggle with the most is that there may never come a time where she is comfortable seeing me in femme and that’s hard because it’s a really emotionally vulnerable place for me that I want to share with her, but I know it needs to be something that she is comfortable with first. It just kinda makes me sad at times, but I’m glad to have joined such a supportive and wonderful community. ☺️
Andrea❤️
Andrea, welcome to CDH. Glad to hear you did tell your wife and she is supportive. I know she will haev lots of questions you may not be able to answer. This is something you both can explore together and peeling back the onion of who Andrea is and what she wants. I know my journey has changed a lot with my current wife as she is ok with it, needs balance, says I can dress whenever (still never enough time to dress up up it seems) I want. My drawers are full of lingerie, skirts, tops, leggings and many dresses hanging i the closet.
So, enjoy discovering who you are and what you want/need/desire wit your wife. Hopefully she will continue to be supportive and maybe participate more over time and give you some advice on makeup or even do that for you.
Leah
Leah,
Thank you, yes we are just trying to take it one day at a time for sure. I’m not sure, but I hope she does get more comfortable with it eventually I just know I need to be patient and respect her boundaries. We will see what time brings!
Andrea❤️
Hi Andrea,
Welcome to our amazing site. So glad you have joined us here. Feel free to explore to your heart’s content.
The warmth and hospitality of our community is just awesome.
Please do make use of the forums and articles or public chat room and friendships offered here on our site.
At any Membership level, You can contact any of us via [ PM ] Private Messages. You can find the link on each member’s Profile page.
Also, you may find what you need such as Help Center or Ambassadors by using the links in the top R/H drop down 3 bar [ hamburger ] menu.
Here is a good link to review the membership levels and the privledges for each.
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/membership-account/membership-levels/
Regards,
Terri Anne, Ambassador
Andrea – my wife has little problem with my dressing as long as I stay at home. We live in a very small conservative town where the gossip runs rampant. My car is well known as is hers. If I was to go out in either of them, the chances of being made are high. I might underdress a lot more than normal and make a very early release n to the Post Office to check our box, but even that is iffy. When we lived in a major metro area, that was a different story. I do get to dress and go out if we are out on a business trip but recently those have been very rare.
Steffie,
Thanks for sharing, I’m sorry you don’t get to experience going out as much anymore. ❤️ I’ve never gone out in public not sure if I fully know why! My wife expressed concern about me going out dressed in public mostly because shes worried about my physical and emotional safety, which I wish didn’t have to be a concern. In all honesty we live in a moderate sized progressive city so im not as concerned about that as she is but we are both also well known in the community so it would probably end up with us having to answer a lot of questions.
Andrea❤️
Welcome Andrea, I’ve only been here a couple weeks myself. You are so blessed that your wife seems accepting. Neither one of mine were and it caused a lot of friction, ultimately ending up in me shelving all my desires for 50 years! lol
I’ve been on my own now for 6 years and within just the last 6 weeks, realized that I can now do what I want. It’s very liberating!
Take care on your journey!
Best,
JassyJassy,
I’m very lucky to have her and a few other wonderful folks in my life for sure. I’m sorry to hear that neither of your wives were accepting, but I’m glad you are now in a place where you can explore and enjoy yourself. ❤️❤️❤️
Andrea❤️
Hi Andrea, thanks so much. I’ve always been a little slow on the uptake, but I get there in the end! lol
Take care,
Sassy Jassy
Andrea
My wife knows but is not very accepting about my dressing. I have not purged in years so my wardrobe is overflowing .
I have been sleeping in a nightgown most nights which has been wonderful and have rarely worn Mens underware in a Long time. I need to start a dialog with my wife so I don’t feel like I’m sneaking around
PepperWelcome Andrea!
It was about 2 1/2 years ago I was in a very similar position to yourself (minus the accepting SO, good on you girl! I’m single and celibate, keeps things easy that way.) But yes, I resonate with the “a-ha moment” when you suddenly realize you can just accept this thing you’ve been fighting with your whole life, embrace and explore it instead of being plagued by guilt and shame. All I can say is you’ve definitely come to the right place. The ladies on here have been such a constant source of love, support, and genuinely helpful advice. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without them, so thank you all!
If you have questions just ask away, I’m sure you’ll have about five helpful responses before you can even refresh the page.
Hi Andrea welcome to CDH, I love this site, all the girls are very accepting and helpful. They’ve helped me more than they know. 💕💋 Katie
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