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Hello Gurls,
I’m not sure when or why, and maybe it’s just out of being at home for such a long time although I (we, my SO and I) have been out several times in public.
Recently however I’ve noticed a return of feelings of anxiety and nervousness when I am out and dressed. I wear women jeans or capris (not that it is warm), flats or loafers that are more androgynous than femme, although they are woman shoes, panties under it all and a camisole topped by a mans shirt, although stylish and matching. I will also carry a shoulder bag from time to time, and do so more recently.
I’m really feeling anxious however, like it did when I started this over 2 years ago. We were out Friday night, and was wearing capris, a new shirt I had bought with small red and green flowers, and my red suede loafers that match, and a very close to matching bag. My SO and Son were with me. We sat outside at a restaurant and I was feeling so self conscious and and almost afraid of people noticing and or saying something. The bag was probably the most obvious thing, but I think I really worked myself up more than anything.
But this has been happening with more regularity, and I’m not sure why. Although too, I was at my favorite thrift store and tried on some great new flats in the color I needed and another pair of capris, and bought them!
Ugh, really afraid too my SO is going to say something, although she has not.
We are our own worst enemies in doubt and fear. If you’re getting so nervous out in public then put your stuff away for a while and try to relax. You don’t have to dress but choose to do so and you can take a break too. The SO will probably appreciate it.
BTW, I love your outfit.
Hi Rebekka such a wonderful thing to be able to go out with wife and son as a girly couple yea and congrats to you all three .. Is this just a Rebekka thing or is wife feeling this also If just you have a talk with wife about it ask if she has any problems with your girly life and just talk thats a big girl issue you both need to chat about .. Girl if you feel you look the part own it just no worries be yourself with a girlfriend wife and son with you and like Michelle said take a break put Rebekka away and breath a bit good luck girl..
Stephanie
Hi Stephanie,
This is will sound odd but my wife has never accepted or supported me. We have “talked” but she does not say more than she does not like it/me in this state. I think she is now at a point where she just puts up with it.
She thinks it’s fine for others, just not in her back yard. My son doesn’t care one way or another, and is “fluid” about things himself, which I love and support him for. (As does my wife)
Hi Rebekka
I think those having those feelings of anxiety over going out recurring is something that can happen to any of us. 20 years ago I was one of the most out girls on this earth known for for going out and doing all the things many girls have fantasies about but would never dare do. I am 6’6 tall so there was never going to be a way for me to blend in and I went out anyway. I even walked in Times Square while dressed one time.
I would still have days when walking out the door made me almost as nervous as my first time out. I would just take a deep breath and hope for the best and then walk out the door. I just want you to know you are not alone in having those feelings return.
I once knew a girl who was a post op TS. She was about 5’5 tall and she was so passable I had met her several times not knowing she was a TS. I was shocked to find out she was a TS. Even she had anxiety and doubts.
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I understand the feelings. I used to go out very regularly, full en femme, until covid arrived. It seems that in the time that has passed since the lockdown and such, I have lost a degree of confidence and it is very slow in coming back 🙁
I had wanted to dress like a sexy girl an go out for a long time. When I finally got the clothes and the means to do it, my nerve abandoned me. I was so disappointed in myself. I made several attempts, but nerve and courage was nowhere to be found.
Eventually I did it. it was the most exciting and thrilling experience but very scary. I wanted to do it more but fear often stopped me cold. Little by little I got bolder and did more daring things. Still, fear was always present. Way more often then not it stopped me.
So, over many years, if I’ve been out 100 times, I’ve easily chickened out 2000 times.
I’ve met several other dressers over the years at parties and meetings. There was some who had wanted to dress and meet others and go out, a lifelong dream. After a few meetings and outings they disappeared. Others said they wanted to do it, finally did it, loved it but had been there and done that. It was enough.
Possibly, for some of us as much as we love dressing and going out, maybe we don’t always have to do it. if we are nervous in certain locations and environments, that might be telling us something. We can still go out as our guys selves and not have the fears and anxieties we experience when en femme.
Rebekka, you say your wife doesn’t support you but will go to a restaurant with you en femme. In my opinion that is pretty much full acceptance. My wife accepts my dressing completely but will not entertain me even being dressed in the garden or in public where someone may see me. That I accept and respect her for it. I do believe as someone else said, talk to her, hear her concerns. Katie.
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