Really Need Some Advice!

[Nikki Heaven]

I’m feeling a bit stuck at the moment. I’m a young crossdresser from a small, backwards town in England. I’ve been crossdressing for a number of years now, but I’ve had to keep it a secret from pretty much everyone I know. My girlfriend is one of very few people to know about this side of me, and is extremely supportive, but because of the fact that we both still live with parents and have multiple siblings, I can never find the time to actually crossdress for a sustained period of time. This is a source of immense frustration for me, as I feel like I am denying a major part of myself as a person. My parents are both very much products of my town, especially my dad, so they are not exactly tolerant of things such as crossdressing. This means that I have sneak around and its getting very difficult for me. I have started doing small, relatively unnoticeable things like shaving my entire body, but it’s just not enough.

Also, another thing that is a source of immense frustration for me is that I unfortunately have a fairly masculine physique. This means that I struggle to achieve the look I really desire when crossdressing.

On top of all of this, I’m also bisexual (I’m a bottom). For reasons stated above, I’m yet to admit this to anyone bar my girlfriend and very few close friends. My girlfriend accommodates for me, we have a strap-on that we use when  I’m feeling ‘that way’, but I worry about what I do about my parents when I eventually try the ‘real thing’.

There are a lot of issues here, so any advice at all would be hugely appreciated!

Nikki xx

[Fiona-Ann Moss]

Oooh Nikki, there are so many issues here, the only one i can say is move away from your parents because they seem to play an active part in your frustration. Living under the same roof as someone who doesnt know is never easy, however on the plus side, you are very lucky to have a supportive girlfriend. I personally feel you need to tackle one issue at a time, work out what is frustrating you the most, and tackle that issue first, but living with parents that dont know and desperatly needing to crossdress is never a good combination. Good luck!

Fiona xxx

[Rene]

Nikki, let me first say that i feel for you, the best advice is unfortunately of the “easier said than done” variety, and that is the first chance you get, move. I grew up in an awful, racist little red-neck suburb in the midwest u.s. so I know first hand how hard it is be an individual, particularly if it has anything to do with sexuality.  These days I tell myself that if I was young again but in these times I would be more open but thats probably not the case. Making changes like ours and living our lives the way we want to…need to, is practically unbearable  under the scrutiny of our families and friends unless they happen to be real special and open minded people, and at least in my case it would have been downright dangerous. As soon as i was out of high school though i moved to the city and was able to pretty quickly meet a much more open minded group of friends and that was long before internet and the availability of forums like this one. Every situation is different and I don’t want sound like moving off to the city is easy or just something everyone can do but it did make a difference for me. I so very hope you make the life you want, Good luck Nikki!!  xoxoxoRene

[melissa la quinta]

Maybe seeing a therapist would help. There are many but usually in larger metro areas.

[Brittney Andrews]

Hello Nikki; Thank you for sharing your story. Your frustration is understandable. The estimation of your age from your profile, I might be able to offer a ray of hope. Do you have plans to enter university soon? If you do, you won’t be living under your parents roof and it might give you the freedom that you’re wanting and needing to explore. My advice on your physique is consider trying a corset or waist trainer to give you a better fem shape.

Lastly, I usually don’t comment on a person’s sexuality. You’re brave to admit that you’re bi-sexual and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s great that you have a supportive girlfriend. The main thing to remember is; your sexual choices are your business and not your parents’, unless you decide to tell them. Again maybe once you’re not living with your parents, you’ll have the freedom to live as you want. I hope this advice is helpful to you.

[Nikki]

Hi Nikki,

Welcome, from another Nikki.

I feel your frustration, but I’m happy that your partner shares your secret.

I’m completely in the closet, it is so frustrating,

Nikki x

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