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I am thankful for an offer my wife made on Friday night. We were originally scheduled to go to Las Vegas for Divas arrive the 22nd spend two days in drab then dress 5 days then go home Saturday morning the 29th. My wife tolerates this side of me she has gone out one time before which was not a good experience. One day went well the second day not so much the third day I was back in drab to alleviate the tension. We went to party with a trans woman we met the first night before she was real nice. When we got to the party I saw a couple of People I had seen at prior events in previous years. They did not recognize me in male mode until I showed them a couple pictures then one sent me a couple of photos of me they had taken at an event we attended. Unbeknownst to me my wife had gone to sit in another room as people in the house party scene had been rude to her and unpleasant due to her being a genetic woman not part of their group scene. Do to those behaviors and others all three of us left as soon as possible. Needless to say it left a bad impression on my wife of many in this community. We talked about it and both agreed to stay away from situations or environments like that in the future. My wife realizes that that was just a portion of people like any quote en quote group there are always good and always bad people in all things for the most part. We agreed we would go again at a later time.
Last May we were going to go to Wildside together which would be are second time out together as women. Then do to the nature of her job she would be unable to go finding out two days before we were to leave for the event. She had said you should go even though we had previously agreed since we wee together I would not go alone.As she felt uncomfortable not being there. I understand for many DADT works for them it could for me but jot for my wife which I do respect. I said are you sure she said yes, I was thrilled to still be going but in my excitement and haste I did not realize she really wanted me to still have her go she could work remotely from the room and we just wouldn’t stay out as late if I wanted her there I would find a way and try to make it happen. I was selfish which sometimes happens many of you know as when you have a need to get out as a crossdresser and can’t you begin to not function or be able to focus on other things until that desire and need is fulfilled. I went alone had a good time meeting other people and sharing stories of who we each were or are. However my wife was deeply hurt and became angry lashing out at me on the phone at my crossdressing and saying it is the only thing that matters to me and she was afraid I didn’t want her around and she feared I wanted more saying your only happy when you dress. I understand those are legitimate fears and how she was feeling when hurt. Ultimately that is not for me or who I am; crossdressing is a part of me yes most definitely but it is a ton of work to get to April mode and I love my wife and women in general. My wife loves me and men. I also love being a man who has finally accepted this is an important part that makes me who I am. My wife loves my male side and is neutral to April. Although she says I listen better when I am in April mode.
So back to the topic currently with the trip to Divas this is the month of my greatest desire each year to dress. This is also the busiest time of year for her with budgets performa and year end budgets. October is her worst month. I have been looking at attending other events with other groups as my personal situation I wont dress out in public where I live it is not something I want. So we found the River City Gems in Sacramento and they have Fem Friday get togethers many times in more controlled environments leas walking around in public all over the place many at hotel restaurants and bars. So my wife says she really doesn’t think she can go for the whole week at Divas as work is really getting busier than normal this time of year and she would really like to go with me. So she suggested lets go to the event in Sacramento for the night and change the dates if going to Diva from Monday thru Friday to Thursday thru Saturdays events. So ultimately is one day less than before overall but it is two different events and I always like meeting new people plus some friends I have made will be attending Divas late in the week and this will give us an additional day to spend time with them based upon their attending schedule.
So I am thankful for the suggestion and compromise we have settled on as my wife will be able to go with only missing a total of two days of work and she will be able to have fun too and meet new people versus if she tried to work from the room she would feel left out and we would need to be back early so she could get rest for the next day.
I hope this helps the overall situation of my dressing and us being out together in public as this will be our second and third times out together.
Just wanted to share this with those whose spouses struggle and as we each personally struggle to find happy mediums in our relationships.
Thanks Hugs AprilIt is very difficult with spouses. if there is that acceptance then you have to maintain a trust and also be aware of their feelings. It is quite common to read of girls who are actually getting selfish and not being aware of their partners needs and respect of their feelings. Fortunately you are keeping track and reflecting on how things are going. I hope your spouse keeps with your needs and you hers. It sounds a s if it will be a very successful relationship.
That sounds b wonderful, April. I’m happy that you have worked things out. I hope you and your wife have a fun time and that she enjoys your time as April now that you are paying her more attention.
Much love,
Raquel
It is grea that the two of you are able to communicate and compromise
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