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Hi girls,
big question: for those of you who want to or fantasize about transitioning, do you relate to woman in real life? My situation is that I would like to transition to a woman, have breasts, take hormones and have SRS, however when I am out and about, and see a genetic woman I rarely want to emulate her. That’s because I rarely come across a woman who I want to be like – who has the qualities I admire. Yet, I do want to be a woman. I ask, because it really throws me off. I ask myself, why do you want to be a woman, if you identify with so few. Can any of you relate to this?
Thanks
Eva
Hi Eva,
The only woman I ever desired to be, is the one I am now! I knew, from a very young age, that I was supposed to be a girl. After that being a dream in the back of my mind, until she let me know she couldn’t wait any longer, Lauren was set free to transition and become the woman she was born to be, legally a female. There was never any time in my life that has been better than this!
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
Oh gosh, there are so many women I would like to emulate, both in appearance/style and in personality. But I don’t live to be a mimic of others. I do try to learn from their examples.
I’m transitioning because I want to be more like me. My authentic self. That comes from within. I know I’m trans. Emulation isn’t a requirement…..although I’ll admit there are women I admire. If you’re going to transition do it for the right reasons. Naturally, I think you should talk to a gender therapist before doing anything.
/EA
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Hi girls and thanks very much your responses and wisdom.
Eva
You’ll never be happy trying to be someone else. My Terri says that if born a girl, she’d look like her sisters, short and overweight.
In your “male” days was there many men you wanted to emulate? Probably not, I know I certainly don’t, so why would we as women? You do need to emulate any particular woman, but just women in general. It is those general female characteristics that many want or desire, not a particular set of them. As has been said here many times, you be you.
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Hi JJ and thanks. There have been many men throughout my life who I’ve wanted to emulate, but that’s because I felt like if I could be the men they were or my interpretation of who they were, I wouldn’t feel like a woman. So, in that sense it’s my insecurity of why I wanted to be like them in order to quell my angst of feeling like a woman.
Eva
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Wow! This is one of the very basic philosophical questions that I think we all have internalized. It might start with, why do I do what I do? As you can see from the answers already given, the responses vary widely. To the ones who have come to a solid conclusion I say congratulations! For myself I don’t know how they did it. I have spent considerable time thinking this over. I have an answer but it is fluid from one day to the next. I think I know what I am. I don’t want to “be” a woman. But, by the same token I do want to present as close as possible. I have a real problem trying to pass but oh, how I wish I could. To me even a partial pass where it might take a double or triple take to clock me for sure would be a success for me. I worry that most often it is very obvious that I am just a man dressed up as a woman. This is part of the reason why I have to go out. As difficult as it is in public, it is the only true objective test of how I am doing. Dressing at home is great but I think there is a trick of the mind that takes place where I feel much better about my presentation than it really is. An outing can lead to everything from euphoria to depression. The difference in my physiological reaction tells the tale. Sure I enjoy a dress up session at home as much as the next gal but man when I have set a goal to go out the intensity really builds as I get my kit together. I shake, I sweat, I palpitate, unlike when doing anything else. There are so many variables that you might run into. For example I am sometimes drawn to rather skimpy outfits that don’t work for me at all but if I am in private somehow I feel like they do. At 70+ I have to be more careful going out. Maybe if I had come to grips with my tendencies earlier in life I would have decided on a full transition but for now I am comfortable being a man and doing my best to present as a woman. Not to fool anyone, my voice and face just don’t pass, but rather just to be me. I am willing to admit that I have not completely figured it out yet. The journey continues and I am learning every day, working with what I have to the best of my ability. Thank you Eva.
JJ
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JJ, thanks very much for your response – I really appreciate what you had to say – it is the essence of what I’m trying to understand, about my confusion.
Eva
Yes, but conditional! For say 24-48 hrs. As a full genetic female, inside and out with the looks and body of say Vanna White, Christy Brinkley, Farrah Fascet or Heidi Klem. and experience sexually as many men to take me as their women to date wine dine dancing and made love to me in that short period of time. I always wondered what a women feels inside her body when making love.
Enter stage right Genie and magic lamp😉
Eva,
There are a couple things I’d invite you to consider…
A) The grass always looks greener on the other side. – I guess this one is rather self-explanatory.B) Beware of the “Cinderella Complex” (when adapted to gender transition from male to female.
– Even if you were able to have all surgeries and treatments done and achieved a very nice feminine look, that doesn’t warrants that you will live happily ever after. Just look at that 50% of the population (cis-females) and you can notice that being a woman doesn’t mean instant happiness.
True, one of the largest internal struggles in your life would be largely resolved, but you still need to find out that dating as a woman can be very disappointing, that women’s health issues are real, and add to that whatever baggage from your previous life you would still have to carry with you.And no, not writing to discourage you or anybody. But the fact is that while the rewards will be many, the price to pay will be huge, and doesn’t have a warranty it will be what you are dreaming off.
Once again, final point to ponder… people shouldn’t transition because they can or want, but because they must!!!
Hmm a complex question there. First of all you feel you want to be a woman so you have that instinct that this is the correct thing for you. Relating to women is another aspect to being part of the transition, well that comes from within, your psychology and how you associate with women already. I found that I had many perceived female attributes, empathy, sympathy, and a caring nature. I felt comfortable in their company,non sexual, and could sit and chat with them and they did not reject me as a male with them in a group as I was not a threat, as one could say. Then physically I am not overly alpha male and quite an average womans size so I had many attributes that could be seen as advantageous to being a woman.
Emulating is another aspect which implies imitation, SRS and hormones would do this for you but what woman do you want to be and emulate? It could be akin to hero worship such as a celebrity but in a sense I think you mean when you look at women you know there are few that you would like to be but there are some, I note your name came from a girl at school you admired. I used to look at the other girls when I was young and what they wore and some had things I wanted to wear and some not and some who I would like to be but not others.
At the start as a child I wanted to be like them and as the years went by I began to develop the person I wanted to be and the trying was quite interesting. Visually I was going through looks that I had seen and applied them to me. Invariably it didn’t quite work and eventually I began to develop my style which was taking the bits that suited me and it all came together. Trying to change the person underneath is difficult but I had enough traits to assimilate as a woman. Once out I could use my traits to advantage and got a better understanding of how women worked and adapted it to my psyche. Then by listening and knowledge known with knowledge gained I could understand the issues they have and how they converse which made it even easier to sit and chat about things like a woman does. It could raise a few eyebrows the kind of things I have discussed and been party to. All of it is learned as I have not had the full biological and emotional experiences, I could never be a complete woman, but I know enough to successfully assimilate and be accepted as a woman.
For you wanting to be a woman yet can’t see any that you wish to emulate is confusing. Why would you want to be a woman without examples you like? Look at yourself and find the woman you want to be encompassing your own self and tastes like I did. You have said you were effeminate so may already have those female attributes to develop.
I went through much of what you have from feeling I wanted to be a girl as a child and going through life in an age that didn’t accept people like me but the desire was always there. I was about your age when I decided enough was enough and began my transition and using all of my traits and skills to not be that woman but this woman. One of the best compliments I have received is to be told from people who knew me before who see me now is that I haven’t changed as a person but just seem better as a woman.
So if you want to be a woman be the woman you want to be and have fun on the way.
Hi Eva,
There seem to be several elements here, a general desire to be female together with some fantasy and possibly, if you are like me, having an ideal type of woman to transform into. Nothing wrong with any of those and I share them all but we also have to consider how this will fit into our lives and what we are prepared to change or give up to make it happen. Having considered this I am now living as a female in private and male in public.
Being feminine and, thereby, being a woman is far more than being female. Hence de Beauvoir’s dictum that one is born female but becomes a woman.
A female rat is a female, but rarely a woman. Just because a human is female does not make her feminine. Just because a human is male does not mean that they cannot be feminine.
Araminta.
There are many good replies here, but I’ll add a bit of my own. For me, I’m part time you caould call me a crossdresser but I now know my femme side, Amy, has been with my all my life though it took many years to understand and accept this.
I see many women I’d love to look like, from the point of view of having a nice feminine figure, pretty face, nice breasts, slim waist, pretty bum and thighs, especially since mine are so narrow. Also I see how many are dressed, their shoes, clothes, makeup, etc. and sometimes take some hints from how they have put themselves together. However, I still want to be my own person, my own woman when I do have that chance.
There is of course no way I can have the beautiful shape a young woman in her prime has, and of course not all women are gifted like that either! So I feel that makes me a lot like them, those women who are older and have lost their youthful figures, or those who simply wish they did.
Either way you have to be yourself, and if you feel full time femininity is your calling then try to answer that call but as you, and be your own woman.
Amy
I can’t say I have seen a woman who I would want to be like but still be me. I am sure there are many of us who dream to be like a super model 6ft tall, legs that go on forever and seem to be able to stay skinny who look supper attractive. But no offense to the transgender members of the group, who have gone through countless hours of counseling, HRT, Legal changes and surgery, who are now satisfied with who they are through a very long journey, but for those who don’t want to go through that and are just happy spending time dressed and spending time living like a woman the best we can, I also do wonder what would it be like to be living inside a real cis female body and experiencing everything she goes through as woman and I know this borders on going into science fiction but wouldn’t be nice for us who want to experience that if we could just say Snap our fingers and say to our selves a magic phrase and we could just turn into that said woman and then a magic phrase to return.
Eva, there are many women I would like to look like and emulate, but I know I never could. Let’s face it, from my experience only about 2-3% of men and women would fit into the gorgeous or model category, maybe 10-20% would fit comfortably in the good looking category, and most of the rest of us would be considered “average” when compared to our contemporaries. When I was young, I felt I was in the good looking category as a guy, and the same en femme. Of course that is only from an aesthetic standpoint. Beauty, femininity and attractiveness involve so much more. I think I can still pull off attractive or cute if I try hard enough, but some days it’s just sweats, t-shirt, no make up and hair in a pony tail. It’s being Dani that I enjoy, warts and all. I love being soft, smelling nice, being gentle and caring, and all of the feminine things that are part of the woman’s world. I love the lace, the silk and satin, being smooth all over. I especially love being the object of love and desire that I am to my boyfriend. When he comes behind me and wraps his arms around me and nuzzles my neck…sends me to the moon. When we share intimacy, I love being his girl and being ravished by him. When we are there, I don’t want to be anywhere else. The price was high to get to this point, but I am loving it. I would never want to live the rest of my life as a man.
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