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Hi ladies!
We all know that many of us who crossdress don’t always have a situation that allows us to dress whenever/wherever we’d like to. Because of that, stress can build up, leading to more frustration and other issues that may sometimes affect our relationships with our loved ones. To deal with that, there are a lot of outlets and options, ranging from participating in online forums, to counseling, to reading CD/TV stories and fiction, to prayer. There’s also tactics such as remembering times when you have dressed, looking at pictures of yourself dressed, or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, totally immersing yourself in your male life and trying not to think about not being able to dress. And of course, I’m sure there are many other ways as well.
But do those work, or do they actually make it more difficult? I know that for me, when I’m unable to dress as much as I need to, being part of this community and reading others’ stories, talking with them, and looking at their pictures has been a great source of not only comfort, but inspiration as well.
So of course, that got me to wondering…
If you’re in that situation, what are your coping mechanisms when you’re not able to dress? Or in other words, how do you manage that situation so you don’t go crazy?
Hugs,
Holly
PS – This is a multiple response poll, so you don’t have to choose just one response.
Since I perceive myself as a woman I do consciously act out as a woman in public just feeling I am wearing my boyfriends clothes.
Deborah, I love that answer!
Hugs,
Holly
This past weekend was busy, family get together meant I did not have any time to transform into Wendy.
I was literally antsy sunday afternoon not being able to fully transform. I underdress most of the work week, so that keeps my CDing urges at bay (kinda). So this past weekend I was at least able to underdress so that kept my angst somewhat at bay. Spritzing some nice feminine perfume also helps too.
Much like Deborah, I’ve gotten to a place where my clothing choices don’t affect my mental health. Girl brain.
It took many years of struggling with my gender identity to get here. During that time, therapy and online forums helped.
I also leaned on alcohol a bit too much. Overcoming that challenge taught me a ton of important coping skills that I’ve been able to apply in every part of my life.
Good topic!
/EA
Happily I am sixty two and have been retired from work for a few years.I have a supportive wife who has been cool about my femme side for the last seven years after a good many years of not being comfortable with it.As a result, hardly a week goes by without me being Roberta at home for a good part of the week.In the days when I was working full time and was closeted dressing up time was limited.I had to book a day or two off from work every now and again in order to dress when my wife was at work.During the long weeks and months when I could not do it,I would cope by looking at women’s clothes catalogues for UK stores such as Next.They were quite large and were full of skirts,dresses,blouses and shoes in my preferred style that I could browse and fantasise about wearing.The other thing was clocking all the lovely womenswear at the stores my wife shopped in.She didn’t know that I was a crossdresser then but I would clock all the wonderful outfits as my wife shopped.We had great bricks and mortar stores back then such as Dorothy Perkins.Nowadays, I only have sustained periods of not dressing when we go on vacation for a week or two.The tension is alleviated by some girly shopping with the wife.Albeit with me in male mode.But my wife and I share the same sense of style.She picks the same skirts,dresses and tops as the ones she desires and picks them out in my size in addition to hers.It gives me something to look forward to when we get home.And my wife loves to see me looking as glamorous and pretty as she when I try them on.
I voted other because none of the choices apply to me now as I am, like Emily, living as a woman, legally a female. Let me tell you, that is the ultimate coping mechanism.
I have upper and lower partial dentures and my denturist said it has been 8 years since they were made and it’s time to have them redone. She knows I am transgendered and said this time she’s going to give me a beautiful new feminine smile. I’ve tried on the temporary ones and they’re so pretty I can’t believe the difference it’s going to make! I will post pictures when I get my new smile on February 10th.
Hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
I haven’t had a long stretch of not dressing in a long time, and that was when I was on two different trips. Before that I had opportunities quite often.
I’m divorced now, and although I live with 1+ adult children (one is in college, so is not home all the time), I dress in front of them. Before the divorce, I was living separate (my ex moved out) so I was in he same situation.
Before my ex moved out, I had already moved out of the bedroom. This meant I could dress every night.
When I can’t dress, I either underdress in panties (and in the winter I may wear tights), or I dress in stealth mode. I’ll wear a tee shirt or jeans from the women’s department but looks close enough to men’s. I’ll wear women’s trouser socks or low women’s sweat socks. I’ll wear women’s flats that can pass as men’s. In gym classes I’m usually wearing a woman’s pair of shorts that passes as men’s. I have a women’s jeans jacket and a women’s cardigan that I have worn.
So I usually find some way to wear something.
This is the time of year when I visit family and therefore the only time when I cannot spend the vast majority of my time as a woman. I will have had a five week break between visits when I can be Janet which helps. I fine enjoying the moment, having good company and fresh scenes of enjoyment all help and time passes quickly. The worst is the day before departure when I wonder how I shall cope but always find I do.
Since I wear panties exclusively, I am always underdressed, so that is my normal. As for not having a chance to wear much outerwear, I do sneak somethings in. I having been on a month long ski trip and visiting family, so sharing houses and or motel rooms with others. I wear women’s yoga tunic as lounge wear, and nobody is the wiser. Same with women’s yoga pants.
I do stay caught up on the forms, and review/post past pictures as well. I am looking forward to being home though, and getting into some nice lingerie and a dress.
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I under dress every day with the basic bra and panties and sometimes other wear like pantyhose, leggings, feminine pads and always use feminine deodorant. I’ve let my hair grow out in a nice ponytail and have earrings which can be seen as either common for both sexes or as a CD thing depending on ones perspective. I can feel girly all day every day without fully presenting as female. I do like to dress full out when I can but thats not often enough.
I come here every morning and read the latest post loving the common sisterhood of all the girls experiences. I will probably never meet anyone from here but its an enlightening and satisfying connection.
I still use the term underdress but really it’s just part of my routine to put on my panties, bralette and cami and pantyhose in the cooler weather on a daily basis. Not so much at work but when able on weeknights and ends it’s a touch of mascara and eye shadow , womens jeans and a light splash of perfume. Seems to get me through.
I underdress constantly and avoid weapons and sharp objects in case I am inclined to do anything rash. This week has been non-stop doctor visits, forcing me to reuse the only two pairs of men’s briefs remaining in my wardrobe. I resorted to showing off my pink toenails and explaining to a new doctor today that some men need bone scans because osteoporosis is not just a “woman’s disease” and if treatment with estrogen works for women it should not be dismissed for men just because it leads to breast growth… some men can tolerate such side effects. For others, that is the point(s). I’m switching to a female doctor. They seem to understand some things (ok, a LOT of things) that are less apparent to men. I’m also curious to know what she will do at the annual physical. Will she stick a finger where the sun don’t shine or check my prostate?
It’s not so much of a coping mechanism for me, because participating in online forums and connecting with others I view as part of my overall CD experience. Even if I cannot dress for a time, I don’t experience too much stress because I always have that – and it always feels great to get back to dressing when I do. I also always find it inspirational to view others photos – I learn so much and can apply it to my own presentation when I return to my own dressing.
Hi Holly………Thank You once again for another topic to help us understand ourselves. I like to look at my pictures or think about wonderful times I had while dressed. I have a SO approved Pony Tail that helps me feel so girly…………so far……….it is just below my shoulders………….she would like to have it down to my butt. (!!!) Think she suspects…..something? When not able to dress I like to take my t-shirt off and feel the pony tail on my bare back…………………….or pull it back to put a claw clip or band on it while crossing my legs like a girl……………………..maybe flick it side to side to loosen it up ………………………………when not quite alone………..I will wear a clip on earring to feel girly ………..when wearing over the knee guy shorts……I will cuff them up to show more legs ……………………when driving alone at night…………I have my mask on…..clip on earring………pony tail…..t-shirt …from a distance……..kinda look like a gal with little tits……….driving carefully…..like a girl…………………guys can be so sweet!!!! HA HA …..if they only knew!!! karley
I voted under dressing almost always and of course reading the CDH forums, everyone on here has been so much fun to read about. Just had a DR appointment the other day so out came the boring underwear, but as soon as I got home couldn’t wait to get them off and into something I’m more comfortable in. I have been buying more woman’s clothes that I can wear out such as jeans, wore them to do some shopping last weekend and it was great, the first time I have done that!!! I have also some shorts for during the summer that I have been wearing more and plan to get more for this summer. And it’s all thanks to everyone on here to give me the courage to get a bit more daring.
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