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Hi Girls, it’s Scarlett and I posed this question to the girls in our chat room yesterday and got a response from most all of the girls on there.
I am a straight male who’s married to my sexy redhead who I absolutely love and can’t keep my paws off of.
My guess is 80% or more of all cross dressers are straight males.
Now this number or percentage would be extremely difficult to get a firm number on as a result of so many cross dressers being deep in the closet and having to keep their thrill of cross dressing a secret even from disapproving wives or wives who they may fear would be disapproving if they told their wives about their thrill of cross dressing.
Thanks for reading and please give us your guess as to what percentage of cross dressers are straight males whether they are in the closet or not.
XOXOXO Scarlet
Hi Scarlett,
I’m going to have to agree with you by saying I think 80% of crossdressers are straight.
Not that I’m just going along with your answer just to go along. It’s just that the 80/20 rule is called the 80/20 rule for a reason. So, why shouldn’t it apply here too? lol
I like your question & I’m curious as to what others think.
xxx
BrandyI just walked around my office asking about 50 coworkers whether they cross dress. For some reason, not one of them answered yes.
Although I know one guy is lying because I’ve caught glimpses of a pink thong peaking out on a few occasions when he’s walked by my cubicle.
I’m currently waiting outside the HR office because for some reason they want to talk to me. If it’s about the informal poll I just conducted I’ll simply explain that the idea just suddenly popped into my head and I was curious.
What could possibly go wrong?
Of course I’m joking. Mona likes to think she has a sense of humor, the poor dilusional girl.
To answer the question I also think it’s about 80 to 90% hereto men.
Hugs,
Mona
Hi Mona………oh no….HR! Hope you don’t get into trouble. I was always in trouble with HR because I was quite bold about speaking my mind and found HR to be simperring Pansies catering to the job challenge and lazy. But them I sort of knew where all the skeltons and closets were and I held the exclusive desirability of most of the big bucks clients. One should always keep the ears open in a company for useable tid-bits of information to further your own agenda. Nothing gets you what you want, when you want than a sword dangling over someones head.
Dame Veronica
I wish you luck with HR Mona, most of my ‘visits’ with them have not been positive. I didn’t ever lose my job, but have been reprimanded. But, with the political climate now a days, if they say or do anything negative, stand firm and push back and let them know you won’t be pushed around. I finally did that a couple of years ago, and they have left me alone since. Don’t get nasty or mean, just be matter of fact with about the new laws and statutes.
Oh yes, my reply: In all of my reading and the several group’s I have belonged to ( in real life and online), it is pretty consistent in that 80 to 90% of male CD’s are heterosexual. Some how though, many of us believe it is not that high, as many just will not admit that they are at least bi or bi curious. But that’s okay. As long as you be yourself and respect yourself, and know that you are NOT wrong to be who and how you are.
Paula
I’m going with Scarlet and Brandy (loveslace – I love the name) on the 80% guess. Cross dressing and being gay don’t seem to me a logical coesistance.
Alyxis Bee
The question is confusing, the way it is presented. Anyhow……books that I have studied indicate that 100 percent of males will try on womens style clothing. Actually becoming cross dressers is fairly low world wide. Anyhow……..those who are cross-dressers, being straight, I would estimate about 90%. The rest go bi-sexual, transgender eventually or asexual. That would be my questimate.
Dame Veronica
Hi Dame it’s Scarlett! Actually Dame the question is crystal clear. “What percentage of cross dressers do you think are straight males?” Now that’s as clear as I could possibly pose the question.
It’s the answer option that CDH posted that’s confusing as hell! I asked for unlimited style of answers when I clicked it in that block. I didn’t click the option for a “Yes” or “No” answer to this question. That’s so stupid and I’m not that dumb! I’ve got a bachelor’s and two master’s degrees and I’ve got a little more walking around sense to ask for an answer to a question like this that would just require a “Yes” or “No” answer. Here’s an example of a simple question that requires a “Yes” or “No” answer: “Did you start wearing any sort of women’s clothing before the age of 12?” “Yes” or “No”…Does this make sense? Why sure!
So it was CDH that posted the wrong “Yes” or “No” answer option and I hope they read this and correct that option because I certainly can’t correct it from here!
Thanks for reading, Dame. XOXO Scarlett
Hi Scarlett! The first item was quite clear as you mention. It was the actual yes/no that was unclear to me. I find some of the questions don’t really suit a straight yes/no reply……but I quess it is us older folk that don’t see things as black/white but grey shades….comes with experience and age I guess.
Dame Veronica
I agree with Dame Veronica-90% straight males and 10% combo of gay,bisexual or transsexuals(identifying female)
CynSome references from more official websites, one dedicated to the LGBQT community and another from none other than Lynn Conway (amazing, super smart, transwoman)
It’s worth the read (I know it’s quite long) but helps to understand better the composition and answers directly the OP’s question
“Most men who cross-dress are heterosexual and married and simply enjoy the practice. There are varying estimates of the prevalence of male cross-dressers in the United States, ranging from 2 percent to 10 percent. In a study published in the Journal of Psychology and Human Sexuality (Reynolds & Carson, 2008), researchers found that most of the heterosexual men who engaged in cross-dressing did so to achieve a feeling of “comfort and peace.” Men in the study said they cross-dressed to fulfill a biological, genetic or innate desire.
There have been several studies focusing on the wives of cross-dressers. One of these studies, published in the Journal of Psychology and Human Sexuality (Reynolds & Carson, 2008), found that most wives did not support their husband’s cross-dressing, but rather tolerated it. Generally, the wife’s biggest source of anxiety about their husband’s cross-dressing was that other people might find out.”
This one is from Lynn Conway:
“There are many reasons for wanting to know the approximate prevalence of a developmental or medical condition. One important reason is that the prevalence of a condition determines the attention it receives by medical researchers, physicians, public health officials, social welfare workers and government bureaucrats. If a condition is presumed “extremely rare”, then it gets very little attention at all. If is it known to be not uncommon, and if it has a very high impact on those affected (such as conditions like multiple sclerosis or deafness), then it gets taken much more seriously and more medical and social resources are applied to its correction. In this article, we’ll show that it is fairly easy to calculate approximate values of the prevalence of male-to-female (MtF) transsexualism. We first estimate the number of postop women in the U.S by accumulating the estimated numbers of sex reassignment surgeries (SRS) performed on U.S. citizens and residents decade by decade. We then divide that number by the number of adult males in the country. The result is a rough lower bound on postop prevalence, which we find to be about 1:2500. In other words, at least one or more in every 2500 adult males in the U.S. has had SRS and become a postop woman. The prevalence of untreated intense MtF transsexualism must be many times that number, and is perhaps on the order of 1:500. When we compare this value with the one often quoted by “psychiatric authorities” in the U.S. (1:30,000), we discover that those authorities have persistently understated the prevalence of transsexualism by almost two orders of magnitude. This is such a incredible discrepancy that we must raise questions about why the psychiatric establishment (which has largely seized control of information provided about transsexualism to the media in the U.S.) has been so persistent in promulgating vastly understated values of the prevalence.”
“In the United States, there are varying estimates of the prevalence of cross-dressing. Most conservative estimates are in the range of 2% to 5% of all adult males engage in routine crossdressing (1:50 to 1:20). These are people who crossdress part-time either privately at home, or in private CD clubs, and who find great satisfaction in this practice. In a majority of these cases, there is mainly a male fetishistic motivation for the cross-dressing. However, in a moderate fraction (1/3rd?) it mainly provides an outlet for mild to moderate to strong transgender feelings. Some fraction of the “transgender” crossdressers moving through this community will go on to “transition”, and take on a full-time social role as women. Of these, some will complete a “TG transition” (without SRS), obtain new ID’s, and live as women afterwards. A smaller group will complete a “TS transition” by also having SRS. In the United States, those who complete a TS transition can in most states take on full legal status as women (updating their birth certificates, being able to marry men, adopt children, etc).”
“TABLE 2: Coordinated rough projections of the prevalence of CD/TG/TS conditions in the U.S.:
Observed situations: Likely lower bounds on
“intrinsic” prevalenceConservative lower bounds on current prevalence P/T intense CD’ers: 1:20 1:50 Those with strong TG feelings: 1:50 1:200 Those with intense TS feelings: 1:150 1:500 TG transitioners (w/o SRS): 1:200 1:1000 TS transitioners (w SRS): 1:500 1:2500 Hope all this information helps to enhance the discussion.
I am a straight CrossDresser although unfortunately not in a relationship, I love women and would like to share this with her when I meet the one for me.
Hi Scarlett, I firmly believe there are more heterosexual cross dressers than gay ones. I suppose if you look at the whole picture, then in the population as a whole, there are more heterosexual men than gay ones. Taking this to a logical conclusion, its fair to say, the likelihood of cross dressers being gay is relatively small. Of course there is the misconception that some people who dont know anything about cross dressing, assume we are all gay……
Fee xxx
Hi Scarlett
I wonder how many have thought about it though? How many have thought about with another cross dresser?
I wonder how many would love the acceptance rather than just being tolerated…
That would be a percentage I would love to see.
Nerys x
Nerys, we all would love to have that from our wives or significant others! To be totally accepted with our thrill of cross dressing rather than to be just tolerated and not allowed to cross dress while the wife or friend or room mate or whoever is around – kids too.
Thank God all I have to worry about is my wife and no kids. They’ve been grown and gone a long time now and I’m so glad for that. And they live so far away, I never have to worry about them stopping by with the grand kids for a surprise visit. And after raising two boys and a former wife, and after teaching middle school for six years after retiring from civil service, and after being the head coach of all my son’s football and baseball teams, I have found that I’m actually allergic to kids now and don’t want much of anything to do with them anymore. I’ve had my fill of kids to keep me satisfied for the rest of my life! And lucky for me, that sexy curvy redhead who’s just three years younger than me has never had and kids and never wanted them and she’s allergic to them as well. As a matter of fact, when we go into a restaurant to eat dinner out, when the hostess ask us where we would like to sit, we always tell them – “As far away from kids as you can get us!” Sorry to sound like that but I’m done with kids. I put my two boys and my former wife through college and didn’t want to have to put any grand kids through college or buy them cars, clothes, insurance, expensive shoes, a place to live, books, tuition and all of that crap ever again!
Sorry I got off from being accepted as a cross dresser or just tolerated as one! And I don’t know why I even got on my allergy to kids. It just came to me and I rolled with it!
Alrighty Nerys, that’s it for now and thanks for replying to my question!
XOXO Scarlett PS We have two Corgi dogs and we much prefer them over kids or grand kids!
How true that is Nerys.
While the 80/20 number may be true of those that have actually engaged in a gay encounter.
If they were to answer honestly, I believe the numbers would be different if they had asked about those who had thought about being in that type of relationship.
It would certainly be interesting.
I definitely agree with a lot of posts here. Someone mentioned the 80/20 rule, that’s a staple! Respect. So along those lines I’d pin it around 80% (+/- 5%) with most of the people here. Certainly high. Fiona’s description of breaking down populations by percentage also seems really sound, so yeah I’d say between 75-80% with the other 20-25% identifying as gay or bi.
For me, I’m straight and my wife can tell you I’m basically always in physical contact with her. Like Scarlett said, I too basically can’t keep my hands off my wife and she loves it.
I do wonder why there’s a huge discrepancy between the general public’s assumption of cross dressers (we’re all gay and/or want to be women), and the general consensus within the community of cross dressers. Not that I’m assuming this site is a holistic representation, I really couldn’t say. I guess that’s more on the lack of transparency between cross dressers and the general public. Blame the media? Psychiatric community? Who knows.
I guess i am in the minority. I am bi sexual. I am attracted to both men and women. I never explored men until i started crossdressing but i do find myself attracted to some men.
Been a member for a couple of years now, and from what I have gleaned, I would guess that the percentage of cross dressers who are gay or bi would probably be roughly the same as the population as a whole.
Personally I do not think sexual orientation and what we want to wear are linked. Why should it be ?
Yes many gay men do come across as ‘feminine’ but think this is just because they are less ‘afraid’ to show this aspect of their personality. Whereas most heterosexual males fear letting the ‘feminine’ part of their personality out for fear of looking a bit ‘gay’ , not in line with the traditional ‘male’ gender stereotype we think most women find attractive.
Contreversial, Moi ?
love
Bianca
i think the percentage of gay or gay leaning cd’s is higher than 20%, I know myself if I wasn’t married and faithful to my wife I would seriously consider a sexual relationship with a man we me as the female, I don’t know if that makes me gay or bi curious, but I think a lot of other cd’s think this way also
Trust me, I’ve been at this for years. When you really understand what motivates most crossdressers, it is easy to see why the overwhelming majority (95+%) of crossdressers are straight. We don’t do it to be admired by men. We do it to emulate the women we admire. I was out to dinner with a women friend many years ago and she observed a couple where the women, who was really quite attractive, had kind of a “boyish” look. She said, “That looks like a crossdresser.” I said, “If it was a crossdresser, she’d been with another women.” I believe that to this day. I would go out with a woman I’m in a relationship with or another crossdresser as a friend. I not likely be out with a man!
I’ve never worked out what percentage of myself is straight, as there is always a part of my logical brain that concludes that pansexual is the default, and another part brings up life’s experiences that overrides it with gynosexual, then another bit nudges me and says “hey there may be this one great guy out there…” and then my aging body groans and points out that being asexual is an easy option.
As for the original question : I suspect it is the same percentage as asking what percentage of men are straight males.
So Scarlett/ and Bobbi.
I’ll bet you actually DO like kids…..
….You just couldn’t eat a whole one…….. 🙂
The way this poll is set up doesn’t make sense. It asks for a percentage so I’m unsure how “yes” or “no” apply. I checked all the boxes. Anyway, I think it depends on how you interpret “straight”. Whether Anne or not Anne, my thoughts dwell upon my desire to be a woman, anatomically, emotionally. Twice I have had consensual sex with two other CD’s. They may have been dressed but they were men to me underneath their wigs and clothes. Anne desired a man, treated each one as the man they were underneath their clothing and took care of their male desires and needs. So does that make me “straight”, “gay”, “hybrid”????
I have no desire whatsoever to be dressed in my drab male form and have a man-on-man experience. I might have “Anne thoughts” as I see a man and think how nice it would be, to be Anne with him but that’s as far as that goes when I’m in public in male mode.
I’m sure there are plenty of crossdressers who are dressing for the pure fun/excitement of wearing womens clothing, are strictly heterosexual in that they are only interested in women and that’s it. I have no idea what that percentage might be. I think this is not a strictly black and white issue as I think there may be a number of people, myself included, who blur the lines.
Hi Anne, I tried several times to get the “Yes” or “No” answer option removed from this poll because obviously this is not a question that can have a “Yes” or “No” answer option.
No one could fix it from CDH. I chose the “Unlimited” answer choice and ended up with the idiotic “Yes” or “No” answer option. My explanation to this is offered way below when the first answers started rolling in. A girl named Dame said the question was confusing. Which the question is not confusing at all, it’s the answer option of “Yes” or “No” which is really confusing. And Dame understood that fact after I printed up the issue of the answer option shortly after she submitted her answer and saying in her answer that the question is confusing. The question is crystal clear. The CDH chosen answer block – not so much! That’s the confusing part of this poll which I had absolutely nothing to do with because I chose the answer option “Unlimited Answers” not a “Yes” or “No” answer which made me look like an idiot.
Now with your answer, the lines are blurred a bit. Because you consider yourself emotionally a woman when dressed, which most of us CDers probably do and you had consensual sex with two other cross dressers on probably separate occasions and you knew they were men underneath the wigs and dresses, that does indeed blur the line in those cases. However, if you knew they were men and you knew you were a man and had consensual sex with them regardless of how you were dressed or they were dressed, most people would probably qualify you as bisexual. I won’t and leave it as the hybrid option you offered up, how about that.
Thanks for taking time, Anne, to offer up the most interesting answer so far for sure! I enjoyed reading it!
And again, in my humble opinion, the question is crystal clear. It’s the answer block put up my CDH which makes things confusing for sure. I tried to have two CDH monitors fix it to no avail!
XOXOXO Scarlett
Hi Scarlett,
Thank you for the explanation. Little did you realize the extra work you created for yourself when you made this poll LOL. I shouldn’t have used that word, “hybrid”. Yes, bisexual is what I should have typed. Thing is, dressed as Anne, in my role as Anne…I don’t even think of myself as my drab male self. So I guess it does blur the lines a bit cos when I am Anne, if I could snap my fingers and all my male anatomy changed to female, I would instantly do it. For some of us, myself included, perhaps it’s more about where we are at in a mental state of mind rather than just about what we have anatomically between our legs. This has been a very good poll and very good discussions. Thank you for your compliment on my commenting.
Girls, it’s Scarlett and I didn’t put up the “Yes” or “No” answer option block. That was CDH that did that. This is obviously a question that would not have an answer of “Yes” or “No” to it and this kinda makes me look like an uneducated idiot.
I take pride in my extensive education background with a bachelor’s degree and two master’s degrees. I held a high profile job until I retired several years ago and then I got certified to teach middle and high school Math, Algebra, Social Studies, and Business Education. I then taught middle school Math and Algebra for six years after retiring from the previous noted high profile job. With the bachelor’s degree I graduated Magna Cum Laude and with both master’s degree I graduated Suma Cum Laude all three of which I’m quite proud of!
But this “Yes” or “No” answer block makes it look like a fell of the school bus on the way to elementary school and then the bus driver backed up over me again to make sure I wouldn’t be back on the bus anymore!
Sorry about the confusion but it wasn’t my fault! Thanks for understanding. XOXOXO Scarlett
Wouldn’t the question be asked better if it were posed this way. How many of you when dressed want to look like a girl as opposed to those who want to BE a girl when dressed? I’m not planning to transition, but when I present as Genivieve, I am a woman and I like what women like, that includes men! 😉
Wouldn’t the question be asked better if it were posed this way. How many of you when dressed want to look like a girl as opposed to those who want to BE a girl when dressed? I’m not planning to transition, but when I present as Genivieve, I am a woman and I like what women like, that includes men! 😉
Thanks for writing Genivieve! And I honestly believe that many of us cross dressers are wired the same way. That is, when we get our total girl on we are attracted to men and want to be looked at, appreciated, and even made love to by men so I don’t think you are in a minority as far as cross dressers are concerned.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and you question sounds like another great one for this polling area so I really suggest you post it and go for it! I’m curious to see the results coming in from your question as well!
XOXOXO Scarlett
Hi Scarlett, I don’t think it is clear cut to say a percentage, I think I am typical in the view that when dressed as hopefully an attractive woman I get a buzz from interest shown in me by guys. I can imagine going on a date with a guy as well but only to be treated as a woman. I have been married and would like to meet a lady in the future so my male side is definitely straight. Wow how confusing. Sandra Louise ss
I personally believe about 80% are not straight. I’m bi and open to almost any ‘type’ of person if they have something special that appeals to me.
I know I’d love to meet up with another cross dresser and do some playing around. But only because I want to experience everything once. I’m not attracted men at all. So I don’t know what that makes me. I do love to dress up and mix with another lady, so sexy to me!! Sounds confusing to me!!! So I’d say that we are mostly straight.
Hi Cynthia….if you are seriously interested to find other CD’s to hook up with, I recommend you register with http://www.fetlife.com (it is free).
It is on fetlife that I met and later had relations with a couple of CD’s.
I have no facts other than myself. I started out straight. Then as I became more and more comfortable as a cd, I started to feel more bisexual and now I feel for the companionship of either sex. I think it could be a slow transformation that guys are not aware of. I suppose there is a group that will stay straight and others will transition later.
I would tend to believe that thoughts of being with another crossdresser while dressed would be a high percentage but thats perhaps a different question.
Most peer reviewed professional journals state that the vast majority of MTF crossdressers within the total population are heterosexual. Considering that a relatively small percentage of gay people are present within the total population (approximately 10-15%), and the fact that not all gay people are crossdressers, we can presume with some certainty that most crossdressers are hereosexual.
On many websites for businesses providing services and resourced for crossdressers, the proprietors take great pains to explain that crossdressing is a separate phenomenon from homosexuality, and that most crossdressers are heterosexual. While this is certainly true, it seems to me that the statements are put there mostly to reassure heterosexuals that it is alright to explore the website, and purchase the services/goods.
As for me, in male mode, I am 90% heterosexual in my sexual interests. However, in female mode, I am more bisexual (60% heterosexual and 40% homosexual) in my sexual interests. So, I am always interested in women; but when I’m in female mode, my sexual interest leans almost 50/50 to both males and females. This trend to more bisexualism has slowly progressed over time, and correlates postively to my immersing myself more into being a female full-time. But, this is just one individual’s experience. So, for all of you other 100% heterosexuals out there, you don’t have to worry that this will happen to you too! Like they say in the financial world: “Results will vary!” Ha!
Excellent posting Tabatha and nice to see your referencing of empirical research concerning the topic at hand.
I do agree with the point you make particulalry that traders do tend to put statements on their websites regarding (so called) crossdressers being predominantly straight with crossdressing being a separate phenomenon from homosexualit and that that point seems to be for the benefit of potential heterosexual customers.
When I last looked at this subject, the peer review stuff that I found indicated a prevalence of about 10% of the crossdressing cohort identifying as homosexual so this is quite close to your finding of about 85-90% identifying as heterosexual.
Interesting isn’t it that amongst the (uninformed) public at large, men who crossdress are largely thought of as being gay. I can certainly say in my case that amongst those who know about my taste in clothing, my penchant towards femanine style clothes has earned me the label of gay whilst the truth is that homosexuality has no part in my current reality – C’est le Vie.
Take good care
hugs
Anne-Marie
You’re right Anne-Marie. Many people making up the general public are still confused about Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity (SOGI). Many still believe that gender identity and expression is exclusively limited to binary options. Further, while homosexuality as a sexual orientation has received a greater welcoming accommodation in the West in recent years, many still push individuals to identify solely as heterosexual or homosexual. In many informal and professional circles, I still hear the tired, worn-out jokes that bisexuality is not a legitimate sexual orientation, and/or that bisexuals just “need to make up their minds.” So, I say: Two steps forward, one step back.”
What difference does it make? I believe to majority are straight. Most the girls I have met here at CDH are professed to be straight and married to women. Only a few have admitted being either gay or bi sexual. Then I have talked with girls who claim to be straight and turned off by men but either want to or have been with other cross dresser’s, where do they fit in? Anyway as usual I’m getting long winded her but my vote would be straight or bi. That’s okay!
Hi Scarlett, great question and intriguing answers shared by other girls here. It’s been something I’ve been thinking about more and more.
In absolute terms relating to your question, the percentages you estimate sound rather close to what I would expect, based on the literature I’ve reviewed. True, there is a fair bit of bias accounting for inherent structural or cultural considerations, but on the whole, I’d wager your percentages are roughly accurate.
As far as my personal experiences, I’ve always had a strong attraction to females. During my life before dressing, I considered myself strongly heterosexual. As I am a crossdressing “late bloomer”, I must admit that attendant to my recent realization of my gender fluidity (most strongly expressed and manifest in my dressing) that there has been a shift in my sexuality as well. With my shift to cross dressing, I find myself strongly attracted to both certain other crossdressers, and trans women. Currently, I have no interest in non crossdressing, non trans cis males.
I suspect this has come about primarily because I imagine being able to be completely understood by one like myself. One like me that I can relate to and empathize with on a granular level. The prospect of which I find very exciting.
Nothing at all has happened yet, as I’ve never met another dresser yet. I hope to soon as I have much to learn and share.
Hugs and kisses,
-Syd
Hi Sidney and I loved your response. I could tell you have some sort of a formal educational background from your style of writing and your obvious command of the English language!
Just be careful if you start exploring sexually with other partners – something which I won’t ever have to be concerned with because of the happiness I have with my current marriage to my sexy curvy redhead!
Take care and thanks for offering up an answer to my question and sorry about the answer block that I got stuck with and it wasn’t my choice at all! This isn’t a question that has a “Yes” or “No” answer to it for sure!
XOXO Scarlett
Dear Scarlett,
Thank you for the reply girl! It’s nice to know the person asking the questions reads and cares about the answers. Your interest is clear and certain, and I thank you.
Don’t worry about the kludgey answer block, not your fault. I also didn’t mean to go into scholar mode with my answer! When I truly care about the subject at hand, my tendency is to lean into it a bit more seriously. This prompts a bit of intellectual rigor reflected in my answer(s) I guess.
As for being careful with regard to sensual exploration – I hear you girl! It’s clearly not something I would venture into without due reflection. Safety and security are main concerns obviously.
Additionally, my wife and I have a long standing…”arrangement” you might say. We both support each other in having a true experiential life. Such an arrangement is wholey dependent on our honesty with each other, and a clear accounting of our expectations and needs. Suffice to say, both of us are in possession of a “hall pass.” Due to our cultivated honesty, she trusts me and is supportive of any exploration I might desire, be it with women or a man. As any of us girls on CDH might expect, I feel so very lucky to be married to such a strong, confident, and caring women.
Thanks again Scarlett! It was, and is, a pleasure to add my thoughts to this intriguing subject! I look forward to more. 🙂
Hugs,
-Syd
Hi Syd
Ditto to the CD in life timing and the sexually mental pattern that came with her lol.
Your post is most interesting, my very supportive SO and I have had many honest conversations regarding the meaning and influence this journey has on both of us. This specific topic was one such conversation.
Thanks for the comment Olivia. I’m curious- how have your talks with your SO go? We’re they constructive? Was there a negotiation, or ground rules laid out? I’m interested because I find it intriguing the route by which couples interact equitably, and honestly with one another. On this subject, I endeavor to be a lifelong student!
And only if you’re comfortable sharing here or privatey- Have you exercised your freedoms along these lines? If so, how’d it go?
Thanks again,
-Syd 🙂
Yes I think im straight LOL
although another CD/TS may convince me otherwise especially a hot Latino! Im pretty sure it would be on then
Rochelle
Straight with some thoughts about men but mostly straight and love my wife so much I probably will never transition because I do not want to lose her. I think it is the 70% to 80% that are straight or straight with a bi curious nature.
Sara Marie
Hi Sara Marie! I think you are just about right on with the percentage of straight cross dressers and ones with bi thoughts. I think most all cross dressers have bi thoughts, however, many of us in happy marriages would never go through and act on those thoughts!
Thanks for sending in your reply note….I’m surprised we are up to 113 votes on this subject. The girls seemed to like it even though CDH messed up the answer block with a “Yes” or “No” answer choice. This question definitely doen’t have a “Yes” or “No” answer to it. I tried to get the answer block changed with the help of two moderators and they tried but couldn’t change it either!
XOXOXO Scarlett
I think the 80% number sounds reasonable, but I have to make,a distinction between romantic attraction and purely physical sexual attraction. From a romantic perspective, I am 100% heterosexual. I’m not romantically attracted to men and, even though I’ve fantasized about being a “complete woman”, even in those fantasies my romantic partner is always a woman. On a purely sexual note, however, I beleive I’m bisexual. I had a couple of same sex experiences as a teen and enjoyed them and I have recently started to fantasize about engaging in sexual acts with men again (or more often another CD or trans woman). I even bought a vibrator recently and have been having a good deal of fun with it. It’s kind of strange, but I get excited by the thought of performing oral on a man, but I still get repulsed at the thought of kissing a man. If that makes any sense.
Oh, and Scarlett, we have one more thing in common. I’m a middle school teacher!!
Hugs,
Elise
Hi Elise and from your response, we have much more in common that teaching middle school. I too have a vibrator and have the same shared thoughts you’ve noted above.
Send me a PM and we’ll talk some more, Elise!
XOXOXO Scarlett
Im a 100% the same on all those thoughts. As I read it, I’m thinking that’s me all over!! Very nice way that you worded it
Hi Cynthia and thanks for sending in your answer! I can’t believe 119 girls have in some way responded to this question even though CHD messed up the answer block with a “Yes” or “No” answer which is not an option to this question.
Send me a PM and tell me more about you in response to this question or just to tell me when and how you started cross dressing as maybe a young boy and where you are at with it now if you would like to share any of that information with me!
Thanks again, Cynthia, for offering up an answer to my question!
XOXOXO Scarlett
Hello Elise!
As myself and the other girls here have shared, much of what you shared is our truth, is how we feel. Mostly heterosexual? Yes. Are we curious about more? I know I am! Even to the extent that I also have a couple toys to experiment with. As I stated in a previous reply, my wife and I have an understanding and I’m free to explore if I’m of a mind to do so.
To be clear- to me, there is now something powerfully attractive about certain other cross dressers and trans woman. To touch, to kiss, and to play.
In the past, I’ve received some “serious-not serious” wink-wink offers from attractive gay or bisexual men. I never took them up on those offers, but rather than feelings of disgust or whatever, I was secretly flattered. I’ll be honest-I liked the attention. But no REAL interest.
Its all so new to me, as I’m a “late bloomer” in CD terms. It’s all so very exciting to me, and a bit overwhelming. Don’t get me wrong- I’m not distressed by any of these new feelings of wanting to explore and to try new things as I’m very comfortable with both myself and my own sexuality. From what many of the girls have shared, this is not that unusual.
I’m describing all this in terms of a lack of imagination on my part. As I never imagined any of these feelings emerging. I never imagined I was a dresser. But when it became clear to me and I let it in, so much came with it. It’s not just the clothes, the belt, the bag, the shoes, the makeup. It’s inside as well, it’s a part of our beautiful human spirit. And I love that about each of us.
Kisses,
-Syd
I have read that research indicates a prevalence of about 90% of biological male cressdressers are heterosexual with the remainder being bi. Homosexual etc. To reply to Elise Michelle’s comment [quote quote=153014]I had a couple of same sex experiences as a teen and enjoyed them and I have recently started to fantasize about engaging in sexual acts with men again (or more often another CD or trans woman). I even bought a vibrator recently and have been having a good deal of fun with it. It’s kind of strange, but I get excited by the thought of performing oral on a man, but I still get repulsed at the thought of kissing a man. If that makes any sense.
It makes perfect sense to me. I think of myself as beong stricktly heterosexual and the thoughts of any sexual contact with another man is abhorrent to me in male mode but then I do have quite regularthoughts of wanting to be a woman, of having a male partner who would treat me as his woman including the full sexual contact in just the same way that a heterosexual couple would have intimate co tact with each other. It would be (in my head) just a part of being a complete woman.
[/quote]
Take care girls
Hugs
Anne-Marie.
I have had many same sex experiences while en femme. Men who don’t want to admit gay tendencies seem to justify having sex (in any form) from a handjob to ‘all the way’ with a CD and can go back to their wives and families without having to think they were with a man. I am bi and when not en femme enjoy being with women, but when dressed I want a man!!
Well I voted I was straight but only because there were only 2 choices. I have been with men and liked what we ended up doing but the intimacy in the beginning was a bit awkward. I am not attracted to men and could not participate without being dressed up. Folks out in the real world would immediately say if you’ve been with a another man just once youre gay. So im going to say I am bi but much prefer women and with some equipment you can have the best of both worlds. Heres how I look at it; you can put a strap-on on a woman but rubber pussy on a man tastes terrible.
Hi Scarlett,
Oh what a a delightful entertaining question! One I’ve often wondered about when I see all the pretty women on CDH. My assumption is highly influenced by what I’ve read from several sources, I like to read! My guess is approximately 25% gay/bisexual with the remainder being hetro. Although, I think, bisexual is on the rise, mainly because, most men do not want to admit they have gay tendencies. I myself felt that at an earlier time in life. I am now a very happy gay CD! Additionally, I’m in love with a beautiful transgender (non-operable) MTF.
There are so many labels “out there” today and I’ve stumbled a few times much to my own chagrin! Perhaps “gender fluid” would be applicable. But, alas, I’ve drifted off the topic.😒
Thanks, Nikki
[quote quote=153629]Hi Scarlett,
There are so many labels “out there” today and I’ve stumbled a few times much to my own chagrin! Perhaps “gender fluid” would be applicable. But, alas, I’ve drifted off the topic.
Thanks, Nikki
[/quote]
Nikki
I would guess that the number of labels is why there is a + at the end of LGBTQIA+
For me I fit the T, possibly the Q and identify as A but thats perhaps due to my age having had at least 3 mid-life crisis’s lol.
As I always observe, variety is truely the very spice of life.
Take care girls
Hugs
Anne-Marie
Thanks Anne-Marie for one of the more interesting answers to my question. I had never heard of the “A” and the “I” and the “+” added to the end! I guess the + sign pertains to CDs which would be me! The girls on here tell me I’m pretty good at making the transition from handsome husband to sexy cute Scarlett with absolutely no hormones! It’s really a lot of fun and I’m trying to get it done at least once a week. The transition is a real challenge and so much fun except right at the end when you have to take the makeup and nail polish off and put everything you have out back in place! Then shower up and blow dry my hair before the sexy redhead shows up from work.
Thanks again for writing in and I can’t believe there’s be 141 votes on this question!
XOXOX Scarlett
My opinion has caused issues elsewhere, but hey, there ya’ go.
I have been crossdressing and around corssdressers for a longish time, and to my mind, about ten percent of them are fully straight, the rest either bi, or gay (repressed or otherwise).
Why do I think that ?
Spend half and hour in any CD/TV chat room, look on sites like or Birchplace (no disrespect, a perfectly OK place to be), go out to trans friendly clubs… And notice how many of the CD’s or T-girls (or whatever tag is in vogue this week) there are overtly soliciting encounters with men or other CD/TV’s… Whichever way you ‘feel’ about that sexual dynamic, it’s is not heterosexual ergo they are not straight crossdressers and they are the majority.
Imogen X
Hi Imogen, it’s Scarlett! I totally respect your opinion and comments. I can tell by your writing you’ve spent a lot more time out in public as a cross dresser than I have in bars and other social gathering places where cross dressers and trans girls meet.
I, on the other hand, have very little experience being in those sort of places. I only get out in public with my total girl on as Scarlett three to four times per year when my wife is away at seminars and business trips pertaining to her high profile job here in our county. When I do get out it’s to rather tame places like the mall or a movie theater. I do visit other places alone outside while downtown that make for interesting backgrounds for self taken photos of Scarlett.
Only about once per year will I visit a bar and those bars are not bars exclusively set up for trans girls, gays, bis, or cross dressers. They are all generally bars where the majority of patrons are, for the most part, heterosexual folks. Are there some of the above noted people – more than likely – without a doubt. When I go to this place where all of these bars in a very safe place in town are all linked together by one very long huge hallway with a variety of music offered by each one of the bars.
So I won’t doubt any part of your opinion and found your reply enlightening and fun to read and I feel like I learned a lot from such a short reply!
Thank you so much for you input, Imogen, and I always look forward to both those I find similar to mine and not similar to mine such as yours!
I look forward to hearing from you in the next question I put out there for answers from you all!
Sincerely, Scarlett
Hi Imogen
Perhaps these trans friendly clubs as you call them are not the places a heterosexual man would expect to find a heterosexual woman, so if looking for a woman would not to go a place like this. Whereas a gay man would, as most trans friendly places seem to come under the LGBT umberella, not saying that is a bad thing thing, the LGBT community is far more accepting of ‘anything goes’, but it is not a place a straight man would go to hook up with a straight woman, so your experience seeing cross dressers in this environment may not necessarily be representative of the majority of us who do not regularly frequent these places, the majority who are in a relationship, married etc and prefer just to cross dress at home, walking the dog, going out for a meal, etc etc.
love
B
Just want to chime in and say that yeah, I identify as straight and for me cross dressing is an at-home kinda thing in private, you hit it spot on. For me it ebbs and flows. I’d say any one of the three between my work, wife, and various arts are more often on my mind than cross dressing is, but it is still absolutely something I love to do on my own time.
To be honest I think the only thing I’d go out for is a good mojito and to support other sisters who want go out, to be one of the gurls and all that. Never been a social butterfly more of an engineer type anyway (aka quiet sky nerd) and I’m also married so there’s that too. Maybe it’d be good for me but I really don’t know. I know I look good in my dress and that’s enough for me 🙂
But we are who we are, I think trying to find labels sometimes stops the fun, or from my own experience when talking to my wife the “why” of things is less important than simply accepting, owning, and being honest with “what is“. Figure that out, then call it something if you have to. I think if a cross dresser identifies as straight but still wants some attention and validation then the LGBT scene is where you’d find that, and most likely from other men. I mean, nothing wrong with wearing a dress going to a local sports bar to pick up a girl for the night but I don’t think the deck is going to be stacked much in your favor, but I think that hits on deeper stuff between how we choose to engage with society as people who cross-dress versus the rest of societies assumptions back onto our own scene.
Never met another cross dresser face to face though (I mean it’s statistically very low that I haven’t but I’m talking stealth mode here) and I know nothing about the ‘scene’, only what I can comment on from the comfort of my own keyboard.
Thanks, Lilly, for sending in such a well written response. It was if I had written it myself based on my experiences and how my cross dressing and photo shoots of Scarlett are isolated almost exclusively to the privacy of our new dream home my wife and I purchased just over a year ago.
I do get out in public as Scarlett on very rare occasions! Usually 3 to 4 times a year when my wife is out of town on business. As a result of her high profile position in our county, she goes to conferences held in various large cities in our state and is usually gone for only two days. This gives me 3 to 4 nights out and I usually go to our nearest shopping mall, then either to a movie theater to see a movie or to the center of our nearest city were there are a couple of really neat places I use as interesting backgrounds for photos I take of Scarlett with my Nikon D3100 sitting atop a tripod with the camera set on a self timer of 1o seconds.
If I do decide to go to a bar, I rarely visit several of them in a very safe part of time and none of them are gay or trans bars. They are just regular bars that are all linked together by a common long and very wide hallway. You don’t go outside to move from one to another. I’m usually just walking through each and everyone of them checking out the people and not stopping to talk or sit at the bar to have a drink or two.
Thanks for writing your response and it’s more in line with my thoughts.
Love ya! XOXO Scarlett
Thanks a bunch, Bianca, for adding to our discussion and you are seeing things from the exact same perspective as I see things from!
I’m so happy to see you submit a rebuttal to one of the answers of another girl on this site. I don’t have the experience she has had by frequently visiting those types of bars or place or the on line sites she referenced.
So you are probably agreeing with me at far as the percentage of cross dressers being straight married males or males in a monogamous relationship with a woman.
By the way, Bianca, I love your profile photo and your chosen femme name!
Thanks for your comprehensive and well written note!
XOXO Scarlett
I would tend to agree with Imogen on this one. If we accept that the the majority of crossdressers want to pass as a woman it is logical to assume that being desired by a man is the penultimate expression of womanhood. The ultimate would be to have a baby. Complications arise because there are people in same sex relationships have that little desire to transition.Conversely many who wish to transition do so because feel they are in the wrong body and not for sexual reasons. Human sexuality is minefield where someone more learned than I can provide a more reasonable explanation.
I’m a straight cross dresser and have never met or spoken to another cross dresser (to my knowledge). From just the impression I get from this site, I would guess it is about 50/50.
I would think that the vast majority are straight (80%)
I have developed from a CD to a transsexual woman. Just dressing, no transitioning.
However I am enjoying being a woman. I originally was a straight male.
However, enjoying being a woman so much and have become attracted to males like a woman would be, I wonder if I am still straight?
Love you answer, Martha…80% is about right. I put it at 90% I think. So you’ve made the complete transition with clothes only and no hormone therapy or surgeries. And now are attracted to males.
I loved your answer and enjoyed reading it and thank you so much for responding to my question. It’s generated a lot of interest from the girls and I’m glad I asked the question!
Have a super rest of the week, Martha! XOXO Scarlett
I think most are straight. I am married and I am closeted and like it that way. I do find that I fantasize about men a lot but only as my femme self. I have never been interested but fantasize about a handsome guy approaching me. We get to talking and he gently starts rubbing my thigh. It feels really good. He tells me I am a beautiful woman and starts to kiss me.
Nicole, you, Paula, and I think exactly alike! Thank you so much for sending in your honest response!
XOXOXO Scarlett
Great minds think alike, correct Scarlett and Paula. I have been thinking about this some more today and why I fantasize about men. I wonder if it is the idea of someone being romantic to me. In other words being on the other side of the guy/girl relationship. The little things like holding the door for me, complimenting me, pulling my chair out and buying me flowers. Curious to get your thoughts.
Nicole, I think all CDers at one time or another fantasize about being romantic with a male. We all share the thoughts of being treated like a gorgeous, classy, and intelligent lady. The man would have to be extremely attractive, respectful, funny, successful, no drugs, no alcohol abuse, no physical violence, and on and on! He would really have to be a first class handsome gentleman like myself!
And in return, if the man is extremely attractive, many of us have thoughts of making love to a man and a man making love to us in a very sensual yet respective way with giving and receiving on an almost equal basis.
Now those of us who are madly in love with our wives, like I am with that sexy redhead of mine, I would never ever act out on my fantasies that I have with attractive men. I love my wife too very much and fidelity is absolutely essential to a complete and happy marriage!
That’s if for now girl friend and have a super weekend! XOXO Scarlett
Totally agree Scarlett. Have a great weekend girl friend.
I am straight and only dress at home, although I have had thoughts of being with a man but would never as I love my wife and would never loss her trust,
Hi, this subject has certainly had lots of sharing.
I now see how typical my thoughts are in comparison to the Girls feedback. I too fantasise about being treated like a lady while I’m Nicole. Taken for a meal, drinks and romanced. Perhaps a tasteful outfit bought and given to me to wear on the night too or is that pushing it!! Its a lovely and exciting thought but i too am in a loving relationship albeit my SO is not understanding in any way and has only recently acknowledged i cant change being a Crossdresser. So as its fantasy for now i will say straight but I’m a firm believer in never say never. I promised Myself i would be nothing but honest on this forum of which i respect all you ladies. X
I have to go along with Paula 1 at this point. But here’s the where my Closet door 🚪 really swings. I’v Been Dressing for less than a year and I have already crossed so many lines that I previously had it blows my mind. When I’m tucked an in heels… I must admit if I weren’t a Closet Girl… I’m not sure I wouldn’t be tempted to experiment at least once. The facts that a Closet Girl with my door ajar, well…… who knows
As a closeted CD, I long for the attention of another man and would’nt even mind a kiss while dressed up of course. Not to sound conceited, but I know that I’m hot in fem and have flirted and chatted online with men for years who wanted to be in a relationship and take things further.
Like someone said earlier, I might have actually experiemented if I weren’t already married with a child.
Just the thought of having my own freedom with unlimited time to buy and try on outfits at home makes my heart race.
Loved reading your response and your thoughts about being hot and desired by other men are in line with mine as well. Just check out my photos!
Shayla, I took am married and my kids are way grown and gone because I’m 64! I love to shop for Scarlett and love to shop with my sexy redhead wife. She’s as hot as I am when I get my total girl on!
However, I would never hook up with anyone else but her. On the four nights per year Scarlett gets out in public, I love being 100% passable and no one having a clue that I’m a guy in that gut outfit with that perfect makeup application done. And I’ve never ever had a makeover done by a pro. My learning has all come on ling through Google to You Tube videos as far as the makeup application skills are concerned. My sense of style with clothing, footwear, and jewelry is just all me. It’s come naturally and I even help that sexy redheaded wife pick out all of her clothing, footwear, and even – yes – brands and types of makeup.
Hey Shayla, thanks for sending in a response and have a super week ahead!
XOXO Scarlett
Purely a guess, and based mostly on YouTube videos, My guess is ~75% are “straight” with the remainder being equally split between gay and trans. And this excludes “drag queens” who are performers, and dress for that reason only. From very limited conversations with other CDs, I also think about 50% of “straight” CDs are still in the closet, even with their spouses or SO. Not the sort of survey likely to elicit honest replies, so we will probably never know.
Bettyiou
Thanks a bunch for sending in your response BettyLou! I believe your numbers are pretty close to being right on the money! Thanks for addressing each category of cross dressers and giving us a number of how many are still in the closet and maybe deep in the closet with no one knowing about their thrill to cross dress!
XOXO Scarlett
I’ve seen two different surveys that suggest the percentage of homosexual cross-dressers is slightly less than that of the general population. I believe that Kinsey determined that about 4.5% of the general population was gay. While Dr. Virginia Prince and Dr. Richard Doctor, in different studies about 20 years apart determined the gay percentage of cross-dressers was 4% and 4.1% respectively.
That would mean about 96% were straight.
First off. Thank you for this poll. I have read many of the comments and learned that I am not as alone as I thought. Being a straight male who crossdresses and has no interest in other men is hard to explain to the few people I have shared with. Most think I must be gay and just won’t admit it. I began dressing at a young age and liked the female body so much that I wanted to be like the girls I liked. I like the way I feel when I am dressed as Erica and would prefer to dress as her most of the time if not always but with it being TABOO in general publics eye I only dress at home or go out at night or far from home now and then. I wish everyone could be who they want to be with out fear of someone doing harm or shaming them. I have no problem with a straight couple/gay couple or anyone else that is different than me being in public and showing their affection for each other. If we all could be who we feel we are the world would be a happier place.
Hi Scarlett,
I recall back in the mid 90’s the transgender Tapestry magazine reported that about 90% of crossdresser are heterosexual.
Alice
I’m going to venture a guess at about 75%.
Since most will never admit if they crossdress or not. this is really the best guess I could think of.
Personally I feel, and to quote Eddie Izzard … “I am a lesbian trapped inside a man’s body”
I guess not many gay men crossdress as it doesn’t attract other gay men, because they like men.
Sharon Wilts wrote I guess not many gay men crossdress as it doesn’t attract other gay men, because they like men.
Sharon, you may be correct; but then why is it that all crossdressers are believed to be gay? This does not compute.
Hugs,
Bettylou
[postquote quote=367946]
Just because the general public “thinks” crossdressers are gay does not make it so. That has more to do with narrow thinking and a limited perspective on things.
I don’t have any statistics at the moment, but what I’ve seen before was very high. I’m guessing about 90% of crossdressers are heterosexual.
Going out on a limb , and based on the ‘definition’ of cross-dressing that seems to be used here, I would suggest that 99.99% of women are cross-dressers. That is, at least once in their lives, they have put on a piece of clothing that historically has been considered male. That means a shirt with the buttons on the right, or pants with a zipper that way, or a jacket/coat, or sweatshirt, or a tee or socks or shoes or underwear….maybe even a baseball cap!
Think about that for awhile and maybe consider that hardly anyone considers cross-dressing to be anything other than a male oriented activity. I’ve never heard about any female being categorized as a ‘cross-dresser’.
My SO in trying to understand my cross-dressing purchased several pairs of panties for me that could be considered feminine or bi-sexual. Without going into detail, they just didn’t generate quite the same feelings as they were obviously purchased from the men’s side of the store with most likely the express purpose of appealing to this latent – or more open today – desire to experiment.
I personally don’t consider this occasional experimentation to be true crossdressing. I also doubt most fully (or over-fully) heterosexual males would ever, ever like to be called cross-dressers.
Because of that, I certainly don’t have a clue about the true numbers of cross-dressers because to me anyway it can include transsexuals that will go no further, and fetishistic cross-dressers who have no trans feelings at all. That’s certainly a large diverse grouping to be placed in a single category, much less including all males who have either in secret or with their SO encouragement to add spice to those moments, put on some article of feminine clothing for just a brief interlude.
So, I suspect the true numbers are fully dependent on what the stated definition is that was used to draw the stats. Yet, I hardly ever see that part of the study.
But this is just imho
I believe 85-90% are straight. Myself before my wife passed I thought I was straight I only had been with her while we were married but now I find myself looking at men very hot and sexually attractive. I’m always dreaming about making love to a man. I’m not interested in women sexually anymore so I guess I must gay even though I don’t think of myself as gay I just feel like a woman that wants a man to love.
you are such a sexy hot woman when dressed love you gurl
DeeAnn, I agree with you too. I haven’t seen any numbers in years but I know they were figuring that gay men make up the same percentage of the transgender community as they do the general population, which was about 10%. So about 90% of MTFs are straight. Sorry Bob, our gay membership is full. How about oil painting instead?
And why shouldn’t gay men crossdress? That one threw me. Why do any of us crossdress really? When we figure that little chestnut out then we can worry about why gay men crossdress. Because they certainly do.
Casey, I just loved your comprehensive and entertaining answer!
You need to write and article for our Article section and send me a private message when you submit it because I would love to be the editor on your very first article here at CDH!
XOXOX Scarlett
I think I am any thing but straight I have been having desires to wear fem clothing since I was a teen and always wondered what life would be like as a female
But being cd is close as I can get and honey if I looked like u I would most likely be married to a sexy guy
i think this question is alittle confusing. i think the number is about 90% are not straight. i dont know about the married crossdressers, but i think most of us dress to be like a woman and that would include having sex with a man to complete you acceptance of being a woman. most men have no idea what straight means. they think straight means the penis is not limp. i have put ads out looking for crossdressers to go out in public and all i get is ones that want you to come over for fun. even straight guy think they are straight but want to have sex with a crossdresser. last i knew crossdressers are guy in girls clothing. and straight means not have sex with the same sex as you are.
I’d say “technically” 100% of cdressers are straight.
A CD is different to a transgender. I know. I know. I know. I’m going to tread on toes here.
If your bi, or gay and dream of having sex with someone of the same sex, while crossdressing, and fantasise that at that moment, you are the same sex that your dressed as… well that makes you trans.
Now. I can see your hunting around to find rotton fruit to throw at me.
Anyways. Totally straight man here. I don’t even fantasize about having sex with my wife while dressed.
Scarlett, Annie here. I think 90% are straight, at least originally. But I am going to qualify my answer. I consider myself in that 90% by the more I am Annie the more I begin to feel a curiosity about being accepted as a female by the the other gender. Would I like to go on a date if the situation arose? Would I like to hold hands and perhaps be kissed? Woulni extend those desires to some mild petting ? I think as Annie I would answer yes to these but not take it any further. These would be an extension of my womanhood and seem natural. In my male persona these thoughts never cross my mind.
So I am beginning to question myself a bit I am evolving Perhaps it’s because I was recently discoveredI was recently discovered by my so. I downloaded some pics she wanted and thought I had sanitized the album but some must have come through from the cloud. Next thing she was asking me is why I am dressed like a lady ? She then proceeded through different stages of anger. She outed meto my daughters and some friends. We are talking but it’s hard. She doesn’t understand not sure where it’s going or how will it end. She has started to playfully tease me a bit about it but I won’t to get too excited about that casual acceptance. I had kept it secreted foreverand always worried about discovery but half the time wishing it would come out. Nowthat it has I feel a bit relieve but unsure of how to proceed. My wife really doesn’t know the full extent of my dressing or that I consider myself trans. Time will tell.
Hugs and kissesaAnnie
As a gay man and girl I have been exposed to tons of cds over the years at events, clubs and support groups. The vast majority of dressers are straight and think the percentages are the same in the population at large. If eight percent of the general population is gay then its the same in the cd population. Lets not confuse people that have had a homosexual experience as gay which is a life long preference and life style.
Well…I don’t know the numbers.
But I do know that many CDs will in private or DM admit to being much less straight than they will admit in public forums.
So I do absolutely believe the “public” stats of 80% or higher are inflated, and many/many more CDs are bi/gay/open than is often claimed.
Always a fun topic to think about! 🙂
As for me — 100% oriented to men. 100%.
I think it is virtually imposable even in a pole here to decide on this
People here are saying 90% straight I’m sure this is not anywhere near the right number.
Over the years I have seen on many sites, Crossdressers claiming to be looking for a woman and nothing ells, Sorry not interested in men or other dressers so on.
Then same guy after 6 months or so on the site, Only interested in women and other CDs no men.
6 months on Crossdresser looking for men women and other dressers.
I have seen this ALOT.
I think to be honest its more to do with acceptance then being straight gay or bi, Crossdressers are lets face it admire feminine beauty so much they want to become what they desire.
So in a way all crossdressers should be straight, to a point.
The problem with this is very simple and that’s the fact that a very high number of woman may try and understand crossdressers and happy to accept them in life, this dose not mean there happy to do so in marriage or the bedroom.
And the problem with Crossdressers is the fact that we are all trying to chase that next step to climb, I believe this is to do with accepting ourselves by normalising every thing we do, Being fully dressed at home is grate accepted, need to go out in public accepted so on.
In fact we chase the the idea of being feminine in every aspect of our lives trying to bridge the gape or understand ourselves
The fact that we would chase the acceptance of a sexual partner and find the ultimate feeling of being female is really not so surprising, the fact is the clothes we chose to wear in fem in most cases are the cloths women wear to go out look there best go on a date so on,
As a whole it may not be the reason someone crossdresses to have sex tho some do ,the fact is we are all sexual human beings the idea we can somehow castrate all sexual needs and desires by stepping into a dress is just ridicules, Most will say there is a sexual charge to dressing tho a lot of this can be put of to the thrill of doing something your not supposed to. We are infarct dressing up as an attraction too ourselves and hopefully others.
The idea we accept ourselves to be female when dressed, lays the ground to accepting others to also be female when there dressed accepted attraction, then all you need to do is just defrock the crossdresser accepted attraction.
Ok this is all MY theory but also what I have seen others go through, But I believe without the acceptance of a good woman The difference between gay straight and bi in crossdressers is more to do with trying to find acceptence and happiness rather then sexualaty
I think this is correct. I would and will often fantasize about having sex with a male when dressed en femme. I tried it once and as can be the case, the fantasy and reality were quite different. That one time was sufficient to demonstrate to me that I am not bi.
I recognize that there is a legitimate argument that one cannot tell for sure from one experience, but I’m also sure of how I felt and what both my immediate and longer term feelings were and are.
Does anyone really know what others are like? So I can only answer for myself. For me, when I am presenting as Genivieve I want to be as completely female as possible, including wanting to attract male attention. So in feminine mode, I am a straight female. When in Drab I like girls and have no interest in men. So in drab I am a straight male. Does this make me Bi?
I am definitely straight and Like you can’t keep my hands off my wife. I feel that most of us are straight.
I think your guess at around 80% is fairly accurate. At least 75%
Holly
I think about 90% are straight
Hi Sharon…
I was moved, in some strange way, by your response. I am me, Polly, a woman very much hetro but… probable transsexual so therefore lesbian (something my otherwise very supportive wife has difficulty with).
I am not a male coming out for the thrill of it!
Polly 💋💋💋
my wife considers herself straight and not a lesbian, so struggles with this.
But then we love each other she doesn’t need an LGBTQ+ label, but she is happy to be an ally and an associate member.
An ally? I like that and shall mention this to her! We love each other very much and to the exclusion of other ‘partners’!
But a kiss is a kiss… she says sorry for giving mixed messages… I say it’s ok… but it’s not! She knows this and I know this. Maybe in a while we can come together as allies! Great word… describes a plethora of ideas.Thank Sharon… bottom of heart stuff!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Polly
A transbian xx
I think if someone makes you swoon then go for it and gender shouldn’t be a thing? Personally myself i adore girls like us and women as love the softness and gentle ways of both. Men don’t even enter my head
Straight? In drab, yes…only women. But Haley likes women, men, CDs, trans…pansexual would be closest to correct.
Haley😘
I really dont know How i would define my sexuality i love women and dress like one but dont find anything attractive really about men although i find girls like us beautiful and very sexy, so im unsure how to catorgorize myself and not sure i would want to hugs xc
I’m so very new to this that I’m not sure I one that should be throwing my opinion out. I guess I’ll just present my thoughts. I’m not sure where I fall, and honestly, I don’t care. Whatever someone chooses to label me is for their own thoughts, not mine.
a few months ago, I never thought I’d have the thoughts and feelings I do, so I can only try and be as fluid and as adaptable to things as possible. I definitely find women beautiful and am attracted to women. But it’s more then just the physical (which helps a lot) it’s the spirit of a woman.
I do not find anything attractive about men. I have a couple of friends but most of my close relationships are with women. Physically, I just don’t see anything in a guy. But someone that feels and dresses and accepts their femme side as a woman, I find beautiful. Not to be explicit, but I can see a man’s penis and it looks funny and weird, but I see a trans/cd penis, and I find beauty and sexiness. (Sorry for the graphic example, and I know there’s so much more to people, but it gets my point across).
So call me what you’d like. There’s beauty in so many things. I can’t define it, but I now it when I see it.I can not really define myself as straight or gay as ive been and relationships with women,men and girls like myself. If someone is beautiful and you fancy them you fancy them and gender is not a thing ive found. I like who i like ive always been like that
Before I found CDH (and myself), I was certain that nearly all CDs were Drag Queens, and gay: about 10% of the population at most. I now believe that least that much of the male population are CDs, and among CDs, 75% are “pure” hetero, with the remainder being a blend of gay, bi and Trans, whose members don’t “stay put”. For comparison, after two years here, I now “guesstimate” our “straight” population as closer to 50%. Either we don’t get the casual Dresser, or they don’t remain casual after joining our happy group. This is an educational forum, and that’s a good thing.
Bettylou
Thank you very much, Scarlett. It’s a topic which interests me, for obvious reasons; but as I said, it’s only a “guesstimate”.
Hugs,
Bettylou
I still stand with 50% at best, and this girl is not included😉
Haley😘
Hi Haley,
A recent poll on CDH had just over 40% self-identify as purely hetero. And the gay population was higher than I estimated. Now, is the active CDH population an accurate cross-section of the spectrum? Don’t know; don’t think it matters.
This doesn’t offer much for your research but… I’m not quite sure what percentage I am, lol. I would venture to guess the majority would be “straight with a high likelihood of curiousness”. 😊
Straight? 50% at best, but less would not surprise me. I haven’t met one yet…
Haley😘
I drive my SO crazy when she is silly enough to ask a binomial question because the answer is always yes one or the other and sometimes both are true.
But to the only answer I can give, which is mine, I find that the longer I CD the more I love my wife! It is interesting that some of the most intimate times we have occur while/after I am dressed.
I will also admit that I have had one homosexual experience many years ago. It was both wonderful and disappointing. Disappointing because in the end we were both femme so in that aspect it didn’t work. Wonderful in that he was wise and gentleman enough to realize that I was lonely and in desperate need if human contact, and that in just holding me and being close we both got a lot out of the experience. I am still grateful to him and often miss him.
So for myself I guess the 80/20 rule holds true, mostly heterosexual with some part bi/gay/questioning.
Hope that answer makes everything clear as mud!
LeslieWow so many posts on this topic. While I’m hetero and believe a high percentage are the same, I do believe that using the CDH population has some bias. It likely consists of people that sought this site out to better understand themselves and in many cases progress themselves along the gender spectrum. We know there are so many more cds and people out there so to really know it would have to very random from the general population. My guess is 90%.
carole
I believe that the majority of males who are CD are heterosexual, and probably never want to transition. They just have a curiosity or something, and want to explore things. They are curious about women a bit more then the normal bloke.
Many are married, and probably are madly in love with their wives. If their wife is okay with it, then why not?
I happen to be a gentleman. I am married. I am heterosexual. I have a wonderful wife. I also am intermittently a CD. Mainly for me it is curiosity. I don’t do much. I have no interest in permanently being a woman…no transitioning.
My wife tolerates ‘Rose’ being around intermittently within limits. She still wants her husband, Rahul. My wife wants her husband, Rahul.
I would say that it’s way less than 80%. I’m not saying that it isn’t alot, because it is. However, it not 80%, when I go out in Public. I see most people, as there birth gender, completely masculine, and following gender norms. I would say about 55% are Crossdressers. Not more than that. To be honest, I think it’s more women then men, that are in women’s clothing and women’s makeup. I’m one of those people, who does wear Nail Polish. However, I don’t obsesse over something, just because it’s makeup. I’m not a big fan of makeup.
Thank you, Stephanie, for your honest and very comprehensive answer. When dressed as Scarlett, I still feel attracted to my wife so I guess when I’m dressed and I’ve go my total girl on, I could be classified as a lesbian.
Your answer was fascinating and I thoroughly enjoyed reading your thoughts!
XOXO Scarlett
The human experience is s varied and complex that generalizations can be tricky. I have no doubt that your experiences have been such that your description accurately describes how and why you are you. For myself, however, I am equally sure that what you describe does not apply to me. For a variety of reasons not really pertinent to this thread, my upbringing did not reflect the typical binary sex role stereotypes and I am what I am for very different reasons. Again, to try to ensure that my comments are not understood. I do not doubt for a second that your description applies to you. But, it does not apply to me.
Oh Kimmie, my own description of how I think the numbers are stacked up are not set in stone. They are by far just very rough estimates. And you can tell by the many varied responses I’ve received, their beliefs and thoughts are way different from mine. I expected that to be the case when I wrote this question many months ago.
Kimmie, check a few of the responses from the girls to my question. They are as different as each and every one of our personalities, experiences, upbringings, sexual experiences, relationship experiences, education levels, employment histories, our cross dressing histories – the list of how we differ and how the responses are different are absolutely endless.
I can tell you one thing, this question I posed had generated a ton of responses which is just what I planned when I displayed the question to our CDH girls.
I wasn’t wanting anyone to think a certain way! I just put that question out and my thoughts pertaining to the question and then let the variety of responses roll on in. And boy howdy, check out the number of responses to my question compared to most of the others. So I kinda hit the jackpot with this question. I thought the answers would stop coming in months ago. However, Kimmie, I’m still getting anywhere from 3 to 8 responses a day on this one and that was my objective. To put up a controversial question which would draw in as many responses as possible.
So Kimmie, my objective has been more than met months ago. I don’t think they’ll ever take this one down because of the number of responses that still roll in on a daily basis!
Thanks for providing your thoughtful answer and I so enjoyed reading it! Would love to hear more about your CD background and your past experiences which led you to become the girl you are now!
XOXOXO Scarlett
Oh Scarlett
I just love the term ‘lipstick lesbian’! That’s so me…
To be frank, the idea of dressing in one another’s clothing has been around since the dawn of civilization. The Greeks thought homosexual love to be the height of form and Romans despised it! Both cultures cross dressed but one doesn’t read of women indulging quite as freely as men did. In fact there are very few women during our histories that have made a name for themselves dressed as men. The very fact that we have their stories only endorses the idea that it was a rare feat.
Yes… I’d say that 90% of crossdressers are straight males. That we do it for differing reasons is above argument but at some time I think we all indulge in some homosexual fantasy. Realizing such a fantasy may very well be a bridge too far for the majority but in some instances that’s why we dress in a feminine way.
For myself… I’m on my way to realizing my long cherished dream of becoming female… though a lesbian, if that’s how I am to be judged!
Love //Polly
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