On a 10-hour road trip this summer with just me & the wife, we had a good long talk about why I dress. I got a lit of good advice in CDH, which in short, amounted to:
Be honest. For me, this desire has always been with me and has manifested in many ways throughout my life. It just is a part of who I am, and I should be allowed to express it (it IS 2020, right? )
Be patient. My wife had lots of questions, some of them I didn’t have a good answer for until I thought about it for a couple of days, then we talked again.
Be reassuring. I emphasized that I didn’t want to present female full time. I enjoy being a guy and doing guy things, but I also want to go out in public as a woman every now and then. It is not sexual, not kinky, not perverted. It is simple. I am still the man she married.
Be understanding. She will need time to adjust to the new “you”. Talk about not being willing to maybe go to a neighboring town where you won’t run into people you know, or that for now you just want to dress at home.
If she gets one time out shopping with you en femme, she’ll be hooked! She’ll have the best shopping partner she ever imagined!! 😀
You know your SO better than all of us, so do what feels right. You need to be allowed to express yourself. It is what adults do. If she can’t handle it, she really needs to give you the space and freedom to do it on your own. Forcing you to deny such a core part of your personhood is simply not fair.
Sorry that got so long & deep (no pun…). Be well and take care of yourself and your relationship. Keep plugging away. It took years to get my wife to the point we could have that conversation.