If one is engaged in a behavior to which one’s significant other objects, one is cheating. The key is that both have to understand and agree what behavior(s) is (are) forbidden. Some couples don’t want each other even looking at other people. Some tolerate a little playful flirtation. Some have “open” relationships. In the case Lisa described, I say the husband is being unfaithful.
I’d like to get some opinions of another situation. Say that a CD has come out to his wife, and she rejected him. She wants nothing to do with his feminine side. She doesn’t want to see him en femme. She is not interested in learning about cross-dressing or why her husband does it. She does not want to talk about it, and insists that he choose between her and being a CD. The husband makes an effort to quit for her, but, as happened every other time he quit, he goes back to dressing up. He reluctantly brings the subject up to her again, knowing how she is going to react, and makes the case that he can’t quit. She doesn’t want to hear that, but accepts that he really can’t quit and agrees to him enjoying his feminine side as long as he keeps it away from her and their kids. She doesn’t want to talk about it any more. She tells him to do what he needs to do, just leave her out of it. He resumes dressing. As he dresses more, he finds himself wanting his feminine image to be as realistic as possible and to experience more and more as a woman. He goes out in public en femme, multiple times. Finally, curiosity builds about what it would be like to be with a man as a woman. He hasn’t acted on that curiosity, but is concerned about what he’d do if he found himself in a situation where he could. Does the understanding that he can do what he wants as long as he keeps it to himself still apply? What do you think?