Sort of an old topic, but still very pertinent to how we all deal with this.
To answer the question, I personally think you can be a crossdresser and practically anything else (not directly related to cd’ing) that you want to be…or actually are.
Crossdressing only defines one aspect of my life, how much I want to make it my whole life or a major part or a sometimes part or an on occasion part is something for each of us to decide. It should be about what makes us feel good, and if there is another involved what makes them still accept us for who we are.
I’ve mentioned before I’m a failed transsexual, but sometimes I almost think of myself as that ‘two spirit’ type of person. When I’m in male mode and NOT thinking about dressing, I’ll do, with little problem, all those things people believe are associated with being a male – except spitting/chewing/smoking/beating up family members…you get the idea. I’ve worked on cars getting really greasy, done basic plumbing, wiring, nailing two boards together. (hint – both my spouses’ fathers were in order a union carpenter and a union electrician, the expectations of me because of this have been fairly high). It’s not that I like all that, it’s that it’s what’s expected of me, so I don’t hate any of it, but I don’t love most of it either. I just do it.
When I’m in female mode, well, that’s a whole other world, with me wondering (and seriously imagining) what it would be (back then) and now have been like to grow up a girl, with girlfriends and all that, find some guy to love, get married, have kids and those moments involved with that including giving birth!, do housework, get a parttime or full time job – at a lower pay than any job I’ve held as a male. Grow old still in love with my husband, and spoil my grandkids.
I’ve fathered 3 children who are all healthy, in good situations, with now 4 grandchildren. And in all reality, I’m sort of surprised – for obvious reasons – it was that few, except over the years I’ve been helping my spouse(s) track things as needed.
So, can you be hetero? I can’t speak for anyone else as you would have to sit down and understand yourself and what you feel capable of, but yes, I believe you can be.