Thank you. This was an absolutely fascinating read and very appreciative of your thoughts on this all. There’s such a large spectrum of crossdressers. I would say, in your relationship, have you found out exactly why your husband crossdresses? There could be a million reasons. Some, unsurmountable in my opinion. Some, can be worked on if the intention is truly understood (and communicated).
For me, crossdressing was to find myself. To experience the world with a completely different set of eyes, to allow myself to “feel” and feel free to feel the full range of emotions human beings are capable of, to understand. I’ve said this before on these forums, and I do absolutely believe: I’ve become a better man, by becoming a better woman. All that really means is, I can enjoy, participate, fully understand another. To be entirely whole without the need to suppress or shove feeling away that “society” has dictated.
Wanting to be a whole human being, embracing all traits and emotions without shame, doesn’t seem to be a sickness to me. Categorizing human beings in how to act based on gender seems very limiting. I don’t want to continue living this life as a half human being. My entire reason for crossdressing is to be whole, in whatever chosen gender.
Do I have to crossdress? Absolutely not. But I will bring all the amazing traits I’ve learned, my whole self, into my next relationship.
There is a huge spectrum of us… that’s why I say, get to the real heart of the reason your husband crossdresses… you might learn, that like me, he’s trying to learn to be the best darn man he can be for you, by understanding himself through a mechanism the dives so much deeper than any therapist can even get us to… crossdressing. I for one, believe, that you can’t truly understand another person, unless you’ve lived it yourself.
All I ask from people is just some understanding. You see, a woman can put on one of our t-shirts and we think it’s sexy. A woman can go get greasy under the car working on an engine with us and we just think it’s hot. A woman can go and get grimy, or eat like a man at a restaurant, swing a hammer, know about tools, and we just find that incredibly cute and attractive. A woman can put on our boxer briefs and walk around the house, and we just go gaga and makes us want to jump her bones. YET, the second a man shows anything feminine, women throw their arms in the air, the world is coming to an end… oh gross, that’s so weird and disgusting. There is no reciprocal understanding there.
Maybe, just maybe, we just want to feel attractive, sexy and beautiful in ourselves. Every woman on this planet understands that desire in themselves, but often negate or find that unreasonable coming from a man.
Sigh. Such is life.