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Okay girls, I hope you enjoy this, because it’s all true, and i bet you can relate to some or all of it…..
Well….this is our first weekend without any restrictions for so long….just what will happen???
Last night ( Friday ) was actually the last night of hot humid weather for weeks…heavy rain forecast.
I was woken up in the early hours by a thunderstorm…..and a strange intergalactic language….I got up, put on a long t- shirt dress and went to the door. It was raining…..very hard, so I sat on my doorstep, just out of the rain, but at last….it was COOL.
It took a few seconds to take in the next sight, but my first thoughts were…what language is that???..
NOTE: Now these last few years our country has had quite an invasion from Eastern Europe by the ” Ian’s”…..well, that’s what I call them…Latvians, Estonians, Bulgarians, Russians, Romanians etc etc…but this language was new to me…
HAD WE BEEN INVADED AGAIN??
” Wot a #@+*#@ arse, god he could *®© me like a $¥€&, and his *#@* looked **#&””* huge….
…..spoken by two women definitely old enough to know better. I tried Google assistant but she kept saying ” I’m sorry, I didn’t get that”???
I thought, what planet are they from.???…then the next ” alien ” appeared, and i grabbed a pen and a pad and thought…this could be fun!!!!
So next up…. definitely a resident from the planet ” gorge “, somewhere in the gluttonee system…desperately trying to balance the food allowance for a small African country on a styrofoam tray….while attempting to steer two very rubbery legs through the puddles. Two things sprang to mind…why is it only after seventeen pints he develops this instant hunger….and as he tried to shovel it in, why does he imagine his mouth has grown so large…??? Working on the weight watchers principle of ” one for me, two for the pavement”, he trundled off!!!
Next up, three female residents from the planet ” jaylbait”.
On closer inspection, with the rain changing their appearance and ruining their makeup, they were obviously about 12 years old. Recently graduated from the grace scarlet school of overdressing, one was a lot shorter and I noticed she had given up on her heels and was carrying them. Having spent all their pocket money, they were sharing one cigarette…all three were quite fluent in the planets main language…giggle !!!!
Next came two residents from ” lookatme” a ferocious place…alcohol or drugs affects these aliens differently, giving them super strength. They have the ability to throw bins across roads, rip out flowerbeds and
fallleap off high walls and road beacons…and scarily, their superpowers become even more amazing if there are any females watching….Two residents of ” workyoubugger”…one held the lager cans, leaning against a wall, which seemed to keep moving, while the other tried to operate a cigarette lighter, in the pouring rain. Very funny indeed as his cigarette drooped and dripped from his lips….breaking into a chorus of their national anthem shitshitshit, they moved on.
This went on for ages….various aliens passed, from such exotic planets as
piss – on – a – car , sitinapuddle , shitdroppedmypizza and the wonderful youeyedherupallnightyoutosser….
So after about an hour, it went quiet, so I retired to my bed…smiling.
I may go to bed early tonight, and set my alarm for midnight, to get up and alien watch….much better than the telly.
Smiles, grace ❤️❤️
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Grace
Thanks for that . Brings back memories of my previous home which was on the route between the pub and a group of blocks of flats. Although have to say I never experienced quite as much variety as you although I do recall many relationships seemingly break up outside our house.
RachelHello Rachel…
I’m on a main road into town….
( pub crawl alley ), haha…it’s interesting to say the least x
Hello my little Alien watcher, I too was sat outside under the patio last night. Wow what a fantastic thunder and light show. You almost could hear the garden crying with relief at the long a waited drink.
Not much through traffic here to enjoy an alien watch, but sure do remember them days well, well some of them anyway. Gosh had I known you were up I would have sent you text sweetie. Cooler this morning and fresh here, have a beautiful day everybody where ever you are. Happy Saturday night alien watch Grace, well unless the JD gets you he he. xxOh Grace is that the price of living in Cider country? We are all surrounded by these aliens these days.
I was in a dress shop and seeing a dress I liked I approached a young sales assistant to ask a question. She was studiously looking at her mobile and looked bored so I assumed she was a university graduate in media studies awaiting her first break on Love Island.
I said excuse me then waited for her to acknowledge my intrusion. Her eyes slowly turned to address me, her botox filled lips parted, ‘Wot’ was the simple vocalisation of ‘Good morning and how can I help you’. ‘Can I try the dress on in the window’ I asked, she analysed the question and I awaited her next syllable, ‘ Nah, you have to use the changing room’. With that her eyes rolled up and her microbladed eyebrows followed shortly after. Exhausted by her exertions she leaned on the counter and looked back at her phone.
Wow Angela…
another graduate from ” Charm school”….. NOT !!!!!
Oh Grace honey where would we be without you 😂💕💋 Katie
Grace Honey,
I have one question and one statement for you. 1) What in the hell are you smoking or drinking. 2) Where can I get some of that stuff.
Kathleen xxxxx
Hi Kath….I’m just high on love….life is good at the moment…I do like a nip or two of JD….
don’t smoke ( never tried it)
Grace xx
Grace I did smoke for 43 years and now I have COPD. When I stopped smoking I was into my third pack in a day
Kathleen xxxxx💋❤💋❤
Well done Kathleen!!!!💓💓
Grace,
A few years after I stopped smoking I was having trouble breathing, so my primary physician sent me to an Pulmonologist.
After going through some test at his office I found out I had COPD and only a half of a lung on each side, that giving me only one full lung and that is where I am now.
Kathleen xxxxx
Good Afternoon Miss Grace,
Aliens in Somerset you say. As much as I like people watching, I’m glad they are not in my neck of the woods. I live in boring suburbia – where the houses are not close together, there’s a sidewalk only on one side of the street and far across a pretty wide road allowance from my house. I almost need binoculars to see the neighbours across the street. It’s a subdivision designed for the almighty automobile and nary a walker (except me).
Notwithstanding we are having A/C being installed over the course of last week and next week, I’m very grateful the temperature has cooled off. Very, very pleasant going for my one hour walk this morning wearing my girly short shorts and my tunic’s zipper was as low as it goes just enough for the edges of my black lace bra to be visible. And no aliens were visible anywhere. You have all the excitement.
Have a most lovely weekend dear, Big Hugs, Krista.
Krista…
Happy weekend!!!!
The way the world is going, your A.C. will be a godsend once fitted. Here it’s pouring with rain and we have thunder and lightning….I love it!!!!…. thunderstorms are wonderful, but I don’t think the aliens like it
….I haven’t seen any yet……but the night IS young xxx
Grace,
Do you live near an intergalactic space port? My, the variety of creatures you see is amazing.
I have seen many aliens in my DJ days. They’re are attracted to the loud music to which they will move in odd directions. They seem to be powered by inadvisable combinations or quantities of rocket fuel. Sometimes this leads to the expulsion of excess fuel on their shoes or on a fancy white dress. This behavior is followed by two other aliens in shiny black suits dragging the expeller out rather roughly while the female in the fancy white dress runs crying to a restroom.
The end of the night brings an interesting mix of alien language and common language. “@#$% Where are my @#$%^&* car keys.” “Have you seen @#$%^&*……….? He suppose to take me home.” “Where’s the @#$%^&* hotel bus?” “Give me your @#$%^&* keys. You can’t even @#$%^&* stand up.” “@#$%, it’s over? I want a @#$%^&* drink. Let’s find a @#$%^&* bar.”
My aliens are fairly captive to my area. Yours seem to pass by in an unending variety.
🍸🍷🍾🍺🍻
Beth
Brilliant!!!….😂😂
It seems I am not alone!!…
but sometimes I do feel like I live on Deep Space 9….🛸
Greetings PY..💓💓
OMG…imagine
An intergalactic dumper…..Daphne at warp factor 9!!??
Good Evening Grace nothing much happens in neck of the woods.The most interesting thing I ever encountered was while walking home from the pub one night, I discovered a pair of legs lying in a doorway. They were still attached to a body which was lying on his back snoring, and it was yeah good night mate.
Love Sarah
xx
Yikes Sarah….that’s a scary find!!!
at least the legs were un armed 😂
Hi Grace,
A lovely weekend to you! Enjoy the alien watch tonight. You might need that universal translator used by the Star Trek crews.
Alice
Hi Alien watcher Grace,
Because South Australia is in the middle of a seven day covid lockdown I am reporting that there are no aliens here.
May the Force be with you… Stephanie 💖Stay alert Stephanie…..
The Truth is out There!!!!xx
Grace let you know if see any Jawa’s tonight be going out lol
Donna
Oh use the force on those aliens teach them lol
Hi Gracie, I live above a shop near a council estate on the main road, 20m from a pub. I often just lie in bed and people listen.
There’s the how-much-largers at night making too much noise at 1-2 am.
The got-a-quick-dealer meeting there client at about 12am plus and sticking around for a conversation.
The young Ineed28pers who are trying to buy sweet.
And everyone’s favourite the drunken-arguers. Who stick around are far too loud and swear too much.
I enjoy my people listening when i can’t sleep.
Love Trish
Trish…looks like your part of England’s been invaded too!!!…..
..I love the drunken – arguers !!!!
Hello Grace. Since moving back to my mother’s house, my late nights have become much quieter, except when the street at the end of the block converts itself into our local motor speedway at about 2:15 am. It is one of the main feeders to get out on the loop to race around the city limits.
One of the ‘lovely’ apartments I called home in my twenties was just around the corner from the largest country and western charm schools and line dancing academies in the town I was living in. It was a night school, and class let out promptly at 2am EVERY night, including Sunday. The academy was allowed to include ‘Rodeo’ in it’s name as they had a mechanical bull next to the dance floor.
Mufflers were not required on patrons pickups, and cars were only driven by women, but they were nearly as loud. Usually at some point on a weekend, the parking lot was redecorated with flashing red and blue lights, strobing brightly to aid people in their attempt to walk normally to their cars.
If you managed to actually get enough peace to get a little sleep, they provided an alarm clock system promptly at 8am, EVERY morning, when the city dropped by to empty 10 or so trash dumpsters (I guess bins in UK) full of empty aluminum cans and empty bottles into a steel truck bed using the loudest hydraulics known to man to lift the dumpsters about 15 feet in the air, for maximum echo effect, before tipping them over to empty them.
How I lived there for a year I have never figured out, except that the rent was pretty low.
PaulaF
Hello Paula..
We have Aliens that love speeding around and even through town…with their ” ear bleeding music ” turned up to maximum volume……..
I think they are from the Deaf Star!!!
Hi Grace.
Thats a crazy planet you live on .
Only Aliens we usually have is skunks, deer ,foxes or a bobcat thats quite noisy some nights .
I like the country.
Patty
Patty….
I have heard the words ” you skunk ” used a few times, even on my planet!!!
You reminded me of the old joke…. what’s the difference between a dog and a fox????
about eight pints of beer!!!!
Huggs, grace xx
Hi Patty. The street I live on is close enough to the edge of town that we get pretty much the same parade of natural wildlife as you do. The funniest part is when the critters stop to peek in your storm door at night to see what those silly humans are up to in their natural habitat. At least the skunks give notice of their imminent arrival.
PaulaF
What i read being described here sounds perfectly familiar to me. The sounds of a bunch of sailors on liberty, late in the evening coming on towards curfew and trying to avoid the shore patrol. Some of them make those same noises all the way back to their ships, into berthing spaces, into their racks, and others passed out in the head on the deck. Most will make it to muster in the morning, wondering what that is taste in their throat is from… or why their they’re sore in strange places… probably some alien probe thing…
Bridgette
Thanks Bridgette….I expect after all the ” probings ” that sailors on shore leave did/ do, it was justice a few were ” probed ” in return…but by aliens???
waking up, sore in strange places!!!……oooeerrr
I love it Grace. I love playing fly on the wall, my favourite is in bars. Just pull up a stool at the end of the bar with my back to the wall and let the show begin.I usually find the herd splits in two the males ( homosapious brains in my pantsous) gather around these flat tables poking spheres with long sticks and try to vie for the alpha male position while the females (bimbicuslookingtogetlaidus) gather around a large open space and perform courtship ritual dances, I think that’s what they are. Now closing time here is 2 AM so around 12:30 the 2 herds start to intermingle as to choose mating partners for the evening which can lead into bullish competitions between the males and the females after a lot of preening and strutting lean on the victors and stagger off some where speaking several of those alien languages you refer to. I’ve sent video to National Geographic but they suggest forwarding it to other nature channels such as Pornhub or XXXHamster. I don’t have those networks but will look into it.
If so my video is entitled mating habits of the homosapious dumbasstumpous.
Take care, Heather.
Wow Heather…
thats very funny and all this is actually happening all the time…somewhere in a galaxy near you!!!
Your Latin is wonderful xx
I’m glad you enjoyed Grace, I had a lot of fun writing it. You bring out the good side in all of us.
Hi Grace a update from the aliens seen this weekend No Jawes but did see their van broke down on side of road. No signs of life around. Did see some furry creatures running and hiding in bushes long ears round tail. lol. Also a four legged creature riding in a side car on a motorcycle like land speeder. Seen also some creatures wearing these neon blinking glasses and head bands must be from the planet Neon prime.
Hugs
Donna
Oh gosh Donna…sounds like more sightings..be careful out there!!!…I have another sighting to report…I thought I had found a nest of R2- D2’s…..on closer inspection….they were empty lager cans…..
Notice more of those popping up in places waiting to see where cpo is
lol..
No it will be you Stephanie, and talk about Bristols, God you have a set of beauties my darling.
I wonder if Grace would invite us in for some JD. xxIt wasn’t Amanda….the girl was eating fish n chips !!!
Omg…that wasn’t you involved in the ” bodies in the dumpster ” story on the news…..
…..was it????
Gluey Grace ❤️
Definitely not me then, I wonder where I was? xx
Could you have been exploring the planet Smirnoff….???
Wait I’ll check the recycling bin for empty vodka bottles.
Yep I was home xx
😂😂😂
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