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  • #655048
    BillieJay
    Founder
    Registered On: September 21, 2018
    Topics: 1677
    Replies: 263
    Has thanked: 557 times
    Been thanked: 1340 times

       I kinda want to include a side, personal note here.
    as the manager of the staff, I have quite literally dealt with thousands of members, their concerns, their celebrations, and their bad times.
    I have removed members from the site, for the good of the site and the membership.
    I would rather help every single member of this site, in turn, without regard to whether they’re a lady on her first day or a Princess that’s been here from the beginning, than ever have to remove another member from the site.
    I want to help our members shine in being/becoming whomever they wish to become, I truly believe that in myself…
    however, there are people that don’t want this to occur, and people who have (and try to share) ideas that are counterproductive to these concepts. if it is an established member, we’ll probably give them a chance to mend their attitudes toward others, it has happened, but a new member or an established member who hasn’t learnt to navigate in our culture/society, someone has to make a judgment call… guess what, 99.99999% of the time that call ends up on my desk, and/or in the managers’ “boardroom”.
    I am a chat girl that ended up in the “right place” when I got the call to step up. do I want to do that? not really… but the question I asked myself when I was offered another position was “who can take care of ‘my girls’ better than I can?”
    y’all may not agree with every decision I’ve made along the way, and I know that even some of the managers have suggested a different course of action in this case or that, and that’s okay… 
    when someone who can take care of our members better than I can, take care of the staff, and maintain the integrity of the site, and wants to do it, I will hand over these golden bracelet/handcuffs to them in an instant…
    until then… 

Viewing 11 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #658690
      Brielle Ross
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 454
      Has thanked: 2261 times
      Been thanked: 1917 times

      Hi BillieJay,

      I want to thank you for your guidance and keeping the site a safe, friendly place where we can be ourselves. If there are members who can’t seem to abide by what the vast majority of us want, then they should pursue other veunes for their opinions.

      I hope I’ve never offended nor hurt anyone else with any of my posts or comments. Please let me know immediately if anyone reports my content as offensive.

      I can’t believe I found this forum and the sister-site TGH – before, I had no one to talk with about my feelings or experiences. It is so valuable for us to be able to voice our inner selves without fear of ridicule or harrassment.

      Hugs and Kisses,

      Brie

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #658469
      Eileen Bach
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 27, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 301
      Has thanked: 157 times
      Been thanked: 1194 times

      Whether called Managers or Ambassadors, the hard decisions can be tough. No matter what, somebody will disagree. In the recent past, I was a Moderator on another forum until new management decided that only their, close minded point of view was acceptable. My husband as Terri moderates a much smaller forum for over 12 years now. I know full well that many times, there are no easy decisions. And the obligation of having to log in every day, sometimes several times a day.

      I’m pleased that this forum has so much diverse activity. You know you’re doing a good job when there aren’t many complaints. Kudos, Billiejay.

      Eileen

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #658431
      rebekka moore
      Lady
      Registered On: January 7, 2017
      Topics: 94
      Replies: 1098
      Has thanked: 677 times
      Been thanked: 2783 times

      Love the support and oversight. Unfortunately at times I’m sure it’s needed! Let me know if I can help support you, ever!

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #657948
      Stevie Steiner
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
      Topics: 79
      Replies: 1871
      Has thanked: 8310 times
      Been thanked: 9541 times

      Billie, I could go on and on, and write a 1000 word essay on how I respect and admire the work and effort you put in here.  I do appreciate all your support, and am forever thankful for the guidance you give to everyone here.  Frankly I do not know where you get the energy – I swear you put a 30 year old to shame, lol.

      Aaaaaand, just as important,  you make it fun too 😁.

      Just wanna reiterate:  Thanks Hon! ❤

      Stevie

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #657529
      Suzanne Martin
      Hostess
      Registered On: January 8, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 132
      Has thanked: 735 times
      Been thanked: 429 times

      Billie Jay –

      Thank you for all you do to keep the site safe for everyone, it is not an easy task.  I am proud to be one of your hostesses and thank you for having me as one.  Thank you for the explanations you provided, I think they sufficiently explain the things that were asked.  As in most organizations as you move up you learn more about the inner workings.

      I have found CDH a safe environment for me to be able to express myself, learn, receive encouragement and advice, encourage others and most importantly be able to talk with others who understand.

      XOXO
      Suzanne

    • #657478
      Саманта
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
      Topics: 517
      Replies: 1442
      Has thanked: 8777 times
      Been thanked: 4961 times

      There are some real gold nuggets in there.
      It is a labor of love — sometimes, love hurts too. But it is a labor of love.

      Billie, you remember way back when?  Joining CDH and trying to figure it all out.
      I had some misconceptions about the site back then, but eventually it all began to make sense. We’ve come a long way since then eh?  I doubt I’d be where I am with this stuff and with myself, without the Sisterhood here.

      I’m proud to call you a friend Billie, and also… glad that you’re our MA 🙂
      We have some fun there in the Council room don’t we? And yet it’s not all fun
      and games…

      It’s nice to see a thread full of gals who get it & who understand the passion
      and tears our whole staff pours in. It is truly a labor of love. It’s a big job to guide the ship…thank you for doing it Billie ❤

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #657477
      Mary Jane
      Lady
      Registered On: September 30, 2020
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 526
      Has thanked: 841 times
      Been thanked: 2651 times

      I don’t have a there there any things goes mindset. If someone asks a question wuthin a post – most times I ignore, and other times ill jump in, heels and all.

      Like many others, I have some absolute dogmatic attitudes… mine revolve around boundaries which protect our marriage. I know I have trodden on some toes voicing them.

      The few times I have had to contact management. (Actually both times they contacted me.) And then the editorial help for when I wrote an article was fantastic.

      On a whole. I say kudus to all who run this forum behind the scenes.
      Sadly, my being on a disability pension doesnt grant me the ability to have paid membership. I’m extremely grateful for the opportunity to be a freeloader.

      Anyways. CDH rocks.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #657943
        BillieJay
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: September 21, 2018
        Topics: 1677
        Replies: 263
        Has thanked: 557 times
        Been thanked: 1340 times

        from personal experience, I can guarantee you that I, and the managers’ council, do NOT consider our Ladies to be freeloaders.

        Personally I was  a Lady for over a year before I upgraded.

        and I also promise you that the managers’ council does not treat Ladies differently, or hold them to different standards, than we do the Baronesses, Duchesses, and Princesses.

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #655098
      Stephanie Bass
      Hostess
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 22
      Replies: 3577
      Has thanked: 51684 times
      Been thanked: 12726 times

      Hi BillieJay as a new Hostess i am proud of this title and working with a staff of wonderful ladies here .. You and the rest here do a wonderful job as you have a lot thrown on your shoulders to deal with .. As i joined a few years ago it was a place that i felt safe and have ladies to talk to as was in the house but not in a closet as wife has known for the 39 years we have been married that Stephanie was alive and a third wheel in our home .. You girls just keep up what you do as you do it well big hugs to you and all the staff here ..

      Stephanie Bass

      • #658490
        Jaime Pleat
        Lady
        Registered On: January 23, 2022
        Topics: 4
        Replies: 92
        Has thanked: 465 times
        Been thanked: 372 times

        Dear Stephanie,
        You are a champ!! Every new sister will get more than just a brief note, you are so warm and inviting with everyone. You are a fabulous person to greet our new friends. So thanks from all of us who quietly admire the love that is all around you!!! Godspeed my friend and thanks for replying to me anytime I have reached out needing an ear, and though you may not have known, I have left you with a damp shoulder a few times months ago.
        Best Jaime

        3 users thanked author for this post.
        • #658506
          Stephanie Bass
          Hostess
          Registered On: November 30, 2019
          Topics: 22
          Replies: 3577
          Has thanked: 51684 times
          Been thanked: 12726 times

          Jaime you are a sweet heart as i try my best to greet all new girls as all deserve a nice welcome .. And i remember you when you joined and yes we connected as friends ..

          Big hugs girlfriend

          Stephanie

          1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #655092
      Vecca Senn
      Lady
      Registered On: February 22, 2021
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 249
      Has thanked: 1796 times
      Been thanked: 953 times

      I love this place! And part of that is due to what you do. Thank you.

    • #655088
      Fredrika Jones
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 24, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 379
      Has thanked: 468 times
      Been thanked: 1284 times

      You go, girl. It’s tough being the boss. Do the best you can, don’t look back, and don’t let the Doubting Thomases rule the day.
      Kisses,
      Fredrika Jones

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #655062
      Amy Catrelle
      Lady
      Registered On: January 2, 2022
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 173
      Has thanked: 484 times
      Been thanked: 800 times

      I wouldn’t be on this site if it wasn’t monitored. If I was the type of girl who wanted sex talk and dating opportunities I’m sure I could find a more wild west place somewhere else on the internet. Keep up the good work.

      Amy x

      • #658667
        Jaime Pleat
        Lady
        Registered On: January 23, 2022
        Topics: 4
        Replies: 92
        Has thanked: 465 times
        Been thanked: 372 times

        Great points! I agree being monitored allows me to speak more openly rather than worrying that someone is up to something and my privacy is at risk
        Best, Jaime

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #655050
      Araminta Purdy
      Duchess
      Registered On: January 23, 2020
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 463
      Has thanked: 959 times
      Been thanked: 1769 times

      The best people dealing with an essentially political (i.e., dealing with the polity) interactions are those people smart enough not to want the job because they know what’s involved. Sometimes we are lucky enough that they take the job because they recognize it needs doing and that they are, in genuine modesty, the most immediately obvious person to do the job.

      Araminta.

      • #655059
        Jaime Pleat
        Lady
        Registered On: January 23, 2022
        Topics: 4
        Replies: 92
        Has thanked: 465 times
        Been thanked: 372 times

        Extremely well stated! As a retired business person I would have chosen those words verbatim to define best the otherwise rare characteristics of a person naturally suited to the position.
        Much thanks.
        I have very high regard and respect for how this site is managed and the consistency of their delivery/product… please excuse my words if call CDH a product,it is an aspirational place in the sun not a product
        Appropriately named Heaven
        I am going to shut up now before I talk all of you to sleep! Godspeed Billie
        Love Jaime

        • #655060
          BillieJay
          Managing Ambassador
          Registered On: September 21, 2018
          Topics: 1677
          Replies: 263
          Has thanked: 557 times
          Been thanked: 1340 times

          thank you.

          I don’t think of it as a product, as I am not on the billing side of things, for me it’s a product of my heart

          4 users thanked author for this post.
          • #655066
            Jaime Pleat
            Lady
            Registered On: January 23, 2022
            Topics: 4
            Replies: 92
            Has thanked: 465 times
            Been thanked: 372 times

            Gotcha!
            That’s why I restated
            Hard to get 38 years out of my head (+ 4/2 learning)
            But it was the nicest site I ever have participated.
            Thanks again
            Love Jaime

            4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #655052
        BillieJay
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: September 21, 2018
        Topics: 1677
        Replies: 263
        Has thanked: 557 times
        Been thanked: 1340 times

        I never wanted to be “the manager” and in all honesty, I’m still not comfortable with that.

        I am, first and foremost, a chat girl. I want that on my CDH headstone when the time comes.

        I just can’t stop myself from dealing with this or that when it needs dealt with…

        • #658962
          skippy1965 Cynthia
          Ambassador
          Registered On: August 25, 2015
          Topics: 119
          Replies: 1337
          Has thanked: 614 times
          Been thanked: 1881 times

          Billie,
          I have been here longer than most-almost from the beginning of the ‘rebirth’ of the site in its current form, and you have carried on the tradition of all our managing ambassadors in doing the difficult job of big sis, mom, principal at times, and done all those roles well. I have the blessing and honor and privilege of the ‘fun’ job of welcoming our new folks. We all have times where we wonder if we deserve our position or if we can continue; but then you get a message of encouragement or thanks and it renews our energy, commitment and recharges our batteries allowing us to keep calm and carry on. Keep up the great work!
          Cyn

          2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #655051
        Lara Tucker
        Lady
        Registered On: September 29, 2021
        Topics: 2
        Replies: 856
        Has thanked: 18994 times
        Been thanked: 3056 times

        Beautifully said Araminta!

        💕Lara

        5 users thanked author for this post.
Viewing 11 reply threads
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