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One of the things I have tried to do with my dressing is to really dig deep and increase my empathy for my wife and the challenges of womanhood in order to, as the Bible says, “husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way and sacrifice for her as Christ sacrificed for His bride, the church.”
So what have you learned in exploring your feminine sides that maybe surprised you or motivated you to treat your wives/girlfriends with greater empathy and understanding? What lessons have you applied, and what sacrifices have you made for her to put her needs first? Cross-dressing can become very selfish and leave us in a pink fog, so how do you avoid this to make sure your wife is still the number 1 female in the house?
One lesson that surprised me was my feelings of physical vulnerability while dressed. Feeling like a woman and being viewed as a woman is very exciting and intoxicating, but I also became keenly aware of my vulnerability and physical danger. Thigs I never thought about before in terms of safety for myself now consumed my thinking. That made me appreciate a woman’s primal need for safety/security and how they often rely on us to provide it. So as my wife’s husband, I started to pay attention to those things and looked for opportunities to make her feel safer. Going and putting gas in her car when it’s low. Walking between her and the crowds on sidewalks or the road. Making sure the house alarm is on and all the door locks are locked every night. Going out with my gun to check the house at night when there are strange noises. Checking elevators and unknown spaces before opening doors for her to go in first. Parking in well lit places when we’re together. Making sure her car is in good working order (although, in a decidedly unmanly way, I know little of cars and am the one who takes it into the shop).
Interested in hearing your stories.
God bless,
StephHello Stephanie,I am not married,but there is a difference between Marty and Michelle when I ,as both,am out and about.I have a backround in private security as well as County Court security.As Michelle and Marty,I am always aware of what is going on around me and I am always armed.That being said,especially when in heels,I am aware that a lady in heels is an easy target and I do not put myself in danger.Michelle is a bit more observent than Marty,Marty being a typical man ,goes into the store,buys his product and he is done.Michelle,on the other hand,looks first at the location and decides yes or no.I must thank the U S Army for their fine training on how to read any situation,it has come in very handy .The bottom line in this long dissertation is if that little voice in your head tells you the situation is not safe,avoid it.Stay safe and enjoy <safely>your femininety.Hugs,Michelle.
Always good advice Michelle! Thanks! Do you have a girlfriend for whom your increased feelings of vulnerability as Michelle help you be more sensitive to her need for protection?
Honey, I live in FL and everyone is armed here! I can’t imagine having to pull out that weapon in any instance, but dressed? Life as I know it would be over, so please everybody…don’t make me shoot you, please!
Haley🍀
It’s a really good post, which Sarah Everard’s dissaperence (and subsequent events here in the UK recently) have brought into focus.
I’d never really thought about that side of the equation before, yes I’ve obviously considered the possibility of confrontation for being a man dressed as a woman, but never considered the vulnerability as a result of being mistaken for a woman. That’s a whole new paradigm on the question of how to be safe while out dressed.
So, back to the question in your post, have I changed what I do in male mode, yes absolutely. Understanding how much effort it takes to put makeup on, I can’t give the SO grief for taking ages to get ready because I can throw a t-shirt and jeans on in less than 2 mins. I now appreciate why she wants to sit down and take the weight off her feet when she’s wearing high heels (oh the burn is real). With all the underclothes (spanks/body shapers) I now understand why it takes her so long to go and pee, they have to dam near get undressed in that little cubicle. And I also now understand how much it costs to keep it all looking just right, never again will I question the cost of the regular cycle of hair, nail, facial treatments.
Didi💋
Stephanie darling…
I have never felt vulnerable when dressed ‘en femme’! Quite the reverse in fact. I feel totally empowered as Polly and much more vulnerable as my old drab self!
Always such a disturbing thing to hear of such things! I wish I could be of some comfort but the truth of the matter is I live so far away from the UK… what i have to say matters not a bit.
Bump all rapists and men who wish to display their power over a woman! Not a fan and never I’ll be! I’d castrate the whole lot and let them beg for jobs into the future!Now I know I’ll be sent to the corner!
Unrepentant UnPolly
Bad girl…five minutes in time-out!
Haley🍀
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I was raised by a Father that always put my Mother ahead of his children and explained that men should always put their spouse first. He taught me to respect women and appreciate things they do for you. My Mom did the same in demonstrating how a wife should treat her husband. During their lifetime I never saw them have a crossword with each other so both taught me how to be kind to others. I think that along with my love of crossdressing and wanting to be a girl molded how I have always approached women in my life. I worked in an environment that was heavily female and used my lessons learned in those interactions. The last 18 years I managed 120 staff members and 105 were female, so I managed with kindness and understanding. Three years into retirement and I still have many of them calling me and asking for advice in things that are going on with them in their life. As far as being out as Sandy I’m very aware that my actions can bring on unwanted happenings and avoid putting myself and others in those situations. I don’t flirt with men when I’m out at all. I’m armed while out as Sandy or not as Sandy. I have no doubt my up bringing tied with my love of all things girly has made me a better person…
Hugs
Sandy
My father taught me how to treat a lady, occasionally with word, but nearly always by deed. He was a good gentle man. He always put mom first, above me, or anyone else (except his own mother, the one thing that irritated my mother), but Bridgette has taught me to be more sensitive, that it takes a lot of work to get ready en Femme, and that I really do need to slow down in heels 👠. I think my wife has appreciated that.
As far as the whole “protection” thing, my wife can take care of herself as well as I can physically, I just protect her from situations and hopefully anything that could trigger her PTSD. I haven’t carried a gun in a great many years now, and don’t see that changing. None are in our home.
Bridgette
Bridgette,
Great stuff. Thank you! 😊
Although I specifically referenced physical protection in my original post, I don’t believe it is limited to that. Emotional protection, spiritual protection, and mental protection all play a part in that. If someone speaks a cross word to our wife, We step forward. If there is a thing in the world she hates dealing with, we step forward. If there is a burden weighing her down, we step forward.
And it’s not always about the question of whether she CAN handle something herself. I’m guessing most of our wives are remarkable, intelligent, capable, and strong women who can handle most things. The question, rather, in my mind, is whether a husband SHOULD make her handle something. I mean, sometimes the answer is yes, depending on what it is, but I believe protection in all senses is a solemn duty of a husband who needs to have wise discernment about when it’s appropriate to fulfill that duty.
God bless,
Steph
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