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Went with some male coworkers to a show at Hampton Roads. Round trip it was like 8 hours. But one of the guys is dating a former Mary Kay consultant, both of whom know about me. Not only did they encourage me to go out, but she had some killer advice for eyeshadow techniques I am still far from mastering. She helped with super-cute/casual ensemble too. Frilly black skirt with rose patterns and matching scarf, red nylons, converse sneakers, 3/4 sleeve gray/black Nirvana tee, and the best smoky eyeshadow I’ve ever had the pleasure of wearing. I try to be humble, but man I felt good. No pics because phone has crappy camera, but I’ll recreate it sometime.
Anyways there were no judgments, no questions or awkward prying. Nobody made it uncomfortable. We talked about music on the way, discovered some new bands and even stopped for lunch at a crowded place. And in the crowded downtown of this huge city was the venue, which was totally crowded. I’ve gone out before but never amongst so many people. I go out and I feel cute, even though I’m not in my ’20s. But I have no delusion that I’m really fooling anyone. I was in a sea of moshing concert-goers where you can’t walk two feet without making eye contact with a dozen people amongst a group of male friends who just recently learned about me. I figured if we’re gonna be friends, this is something you need to be aware of because I’m done hiding it.
Girls, not one person among the hundreds gave me a hard time.
I guess where I’m going with this is, I let myself feel like I cannot and should not embrace going out as who I wanna be. If I do, people will confront and challenge me or mock me. The last ten years of my life were spent trying to bury this side of me, and I have gradually begun going out and experiencing society in baby steps. But in this last year, not once did anyone make it harder for me than it had to. And I know that you, like I was, may not be ready for full submersion as yourself. You wanna learn to swim in the kiddie pool before you’re thrown into the ocean. The point is, the ocean isn’t the raging storm you think it is. There’s basically nowhere I can go for fun where I would credibly feel like I don’t fit in. And that? Feels good.
Best you put up a link of “how to” on the smokey eyes. Id love to master that. Love adele’s eyes and want to be able to do it.
Yay for you too chick!! You go girl.
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