• Creator
    Topic
  • #684296
    Michelle Davis
    Participant
    Registered On: August 19, 2021
    Topics: 15
    Replies: 164
    Has thanked: 1491 times
    Been thanked: 826 times

    I was at Walmart yesterday shopping for a printer when I saw a crossdressing Walmart employee.  He was not trying to pass so I will use male pronouns to describe.  He was very tall at around 6′ 3″ and thin.  He had beautiful long blond hair that would make a lot of women jealous pulled back into a ponytail.  He was wearing a pretty floral print blouse, black skirt and black tights. He was not wearing makeup and had a dark 5 o’clock shadow.  I interacted with him a couple of times to help me find the printers and to ask a question about the printer I selected.  I did not want to embarrass him so I acted like there was nothing out of the ordinary going on and that was that.  I did want to compliment him on his outfit and his courage to dress the way that felt right to him but I was afraid it might be awkward.  What would you have done?

Viewing 18 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #685164
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 1653
      Has thanked: 3280 times
      Been thanked: 5637 times

      With what you described, I would say that he/she is comfortable with who they are and God bless them. So, complimenting them would be good.

      Hugs, Liara

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #684770
      Roberta Broussard
      Baroness
      Registered On: July 20, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 396
      Has thanked: 5270 times
      Been thanked: 1932 times

      Not being there its hard to say if I would have done anything differently. However, like most of us here. I would have liked to have paid her a compliment. It really is such a nice ice breaker.  She probably went the whole day without anyone even acknowledging her effort to look nice.

      As girls, nothing warms us up better than a nice compliment.

    • #684767
      Patty Phose
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 7, 2016
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 1871
      Has thanked: 1463 times
      Been thanked: 5714 times

      I would have probably done what you did. Yes it would have been nice to compliment him on his outfit and how as a crossdresser myself, I appreciate, respect and admire others like me who are open with it.

      I also suspect he may have been trans, so bringing up crossdressing may be the wrong way to go also. I really think I would have just been glad to see someone like out in public me and leave it at that.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #684686
      Fiona Black
      Lady
      Registered On: November 23, 2019
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 267
      Has thanked: 142 times
      Been thanked: 1103 times

      Michelle,

      You did the right thing. Perhaps all I would have done in addition would be to say “thank you Miss” instead of just “thank you”. I think most CD’s really like being referred to as miss, ma’am …etc.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #684652
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      I would be tempted but probably wouldn’t say anything.  I know if it were me and someone privately referred to me as ma’am, Miss, she or her, I would be on cloud nine.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #684656
        April Flowers
        Baroness
        Registered On: September 7, 2021
        Topics: 8
        Replies: 91
        Has thanked: 375 times
        Been thanked: 453 times

        Absolutely Nicole. Exactly the approach I would have taken along with the appreciation for what she is displaying in public.

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #684634
      Natalie Jones
      Lady
      Registered On: September 20, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 133
      Has thanked: 453 times
      Been thanked: 700 times

      Hi Girls

      I spotted a CD at Lowes in New Jersey this summer. Being a CD I’m more keen to spotting a one of us or maybe it was the fact she was over dressed for the occasion and the season ( her outfit was more winter than summer) I also sensed she was more than a little nervous as I would be. I made brief eye contact but didn’t want her to think I was staring. I felt if we ended up in the same isle I would say hello and compliment something about her outfit , but that never happened.  I’m in that store frequently and hope to see her again.
      Natalie💋💋

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #684587
      Holly Morris
      Lady
      Registered On: April 15, 2022
      Topics: 86
      Replies: 191
      Has thanked: 2523 times
      Been thanked: 2338 times

      I’ve run into similar situations at Walmart, Home Depot, and a couple other stores. Interestingly enough, it’s always younger people (20s/30s) who seem to be expressing their gender more openly this way. That tells me that gender for the younger generation is becoming more fluid and open, so it’s not as big a deal for them as it is for older generations.

      But I digress…

      When I interacted with these people I was in male mode, so I didn’t make a big deal about it and just thanked them for their help in finding the items I was looking for. As I walked away though, in my mind I was thinking how good it is for them not to have to hide themselves like we did growing up, and mentally wished them well on their journeys forward.

      Hugs,

      Holly

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #684765
        Michelle Davis
        Duchess
        Registered On: August 19, 2021
        Topics: 15
        Replies: 164
        Has thanked: 1491 times
        Been thanked: 826 times

        Hi Holly,

        The person I interacted with was probably in their 30’s which tracks with your experience.  It is very encouraging to see.

         

        Hugs,

         

        Michelle

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #684565
      Michelle Davis
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 19, 2021
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 164
      Has thanked: 1491 times
      Been thanked: 826 times

      Hi Michelle
      You handled it perfectly hun you were so careful not to embarrass him well done you, now tell us all what were you wearing were you dressed as your lovely self.
      Love Sarah xx

       

      I would love to be able to shop en femme but that is a bridge to far for my wife so I am only able to dress in the house and that is pretty limited.  We have made some progress on acceptance to where I can wear nightgowns on occasion and heels and an apron sometimes when I am cooking so that is encouraging.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #684426
      Sarah Cerise
      Lady
      Registered On: September 25, 2022
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 97
      Has thanked: 285 times
      Been thanked: 375 times

      Hi Michelle
      You handled it perfectly hun you were so careful not to embarrass him well done you, now tell us all what were you wearing were you dressed as your lovely self.
      Love Sarah xx

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #684414
      Kelly Lee
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: February 26, 2018
      Topics: 47
      Replies: 501
      Has thanked: 668 times
      Been thanked: 2271 times

      For a start, “strangely” dressed person at walmart, they have websites for that (https://www.peopleofwalmart.com/) so nothing strange there, an add to that halloween time it’s even less strange.

      When I been out most people talk to me as if I wasn’t wearing anything special and I think that’s the way it should be. I mean, how often do you hear cis girls comment other cis girls on what they where when they just doing sale inquiries like what printer to get.

      Now one of the big things is – what to do when spotting a CD in any setting? Recently when I was to a pub (something that’s rare for me) I did spot one sitting lonely not far away. Now I was busy with my own stuff and by the time I left I passed by that person she was talking some business stuff (laptop open) with another guy. We did look at each other and probably both read each other but said nothing.
      I do regret not saying anything, on the way home I decided that if it ever happen again I will not stay silent, I will go and say something like “Hi, I think w two have something in common” and depending on the  response I may follow up with “we are the two best dressed girls here around” (which definitely was the case there).

      BTW, regarding printer, some years ago I did invest big time in a multi function (copy, fax, scan,print) color laser printer and never regretted it. Yes, the toner cost a lot but I put them in and leave it in for two years before changing. If I leave a full ink cartage in the printer for a week without printing it is dry and have to be fixed/replaced, never that kind of problem with toner.

      /kl

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #684566
        Michelle Davis
        Duchess
        Registered On: August 19, 2021
        Topics: 15
        Replies: 164
        Has thanked: 1491 times
        Been thanked: 826 times

        Hi Kelly,

        Thanks for the printer advice.  I have had problems with print heads clogging up because we are only in our condo part of the year so your laser printer idea is a good one.  I don’t think I have enough space to house one though but I will look into it.

        Hugs,

        Michelle

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #684380
      Jin Crocker
      Lady
      Registered On: November 15, 2019
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 549
      Has thanked: 37 times
      Been thanked: 1798 times

      You did right, Just treat him like any other sales person.

      For me personally, I like to be noticed. And I am decades past being able to pass.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #684366
      Peta Mari
      Lady
      Registered On: September 30, 2020
      Topics: 30
      Replies: 580
      Has thanked: 941 times
      Been thanked: 2988 times

      I get a little conflicted about the whole compliment thing. Especially as we are not in the practice of complimenting ‘cis’ gendered people who we encounter…

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #684364
      Robyn Drake
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: March 19, 2019
      Topics: 57
      Replies: 762
      Has thanked: 1455 times
      Been thanked: 2372 times

      I would have checked Amazon for printer prices. 😉

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #684336
      Davina
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: April 15, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 153
      Has thanked: 1251 times
      Been thanked: 488 times

      Nothing wrong with saying nothing. If I would have said anything, I would have simply said “you look wonderful”!

      I was at a Safeway store a few weeks ago and a gentlemen walked up to the deli wearing a lovely skirt, but no other female clothes. He looked nice. I also said nothing, but in retrospect I should have complimented him on the skirt. However, in this world we currently live in you never know how people will react, so saying nothing maybe is the best option.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #684335
      Sarah Kanter
      Lady
      Registered On: April 25, 2019
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 170
      Has thanked: 359 times
      Been thanked: 926 times

      When I’m out dressed, I want one of two things, for people to treat me exactly the same as they normally would, or if they do have a question, to just ask me directly. If they want to ignore my outfit, that’s fine. If they’re curious, that’s fine too. What I don’t want is for people to guess. If you care, you should ask, if you don’t care, then no big deal either.

      I think asking directly about pronouns is better than trying to guess. Though, you have to be careful. I mean, if you asked a masculine GG about her pronouns that could be awkward. Usually, you don’t really need to know pronouns unless you’re talking about someone. English doesn’t use pronouns when you’re talking directly to a person, so unless you have to introduce them in public or something, you don’t usually need to know.

      Complimenting is kind of tough. I enjoy a compliment when I can trust that it’s sincere, but fake compliments are the worst. I know I don’t look that great dressed up, so a compliment tends to make me feel like I’m being patronized. I find that compliments about a piece of clothing are better than compliments about the overall look. So, if someone says, “I like your skirt,” or “I love those boots,” that is easier to accept than something like, “You look nice.” I think saying something like, “I like your blouse,” opens the door for further conversation if the person wants it, but allows them to simply say thanks if they don’t. If I were in that situation I might say, “I like your blouse,” and then depending on how they respond I might say how hard it is for me to find tops that work and then we could have a conversation.

      As we all know from being on this site, everyone thinks about their dressing up a little differently. We need to be careful to never assume that someone else feels the same way about it as we do. Some people want to talk about their clothes, others would rather be treated as if they’re clothes are completely ordinary. Approaching people in a way that gives them flexibility in their response is an important strategy.

      • #685192
        Wanda Ovahear
        Lady
        Registered On: October 19, 2022
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 244
        Has thanked: 1074 times
        Been thanked: 798 times

        I agree. Maybe even, “I like your top, did you buy it here?”

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #684327
      Michelle Isgurly
      Lady
      Registered On: October 12, 2021
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 70
      Has thanked: 210 times
      Been thanked: 434 times

      Maybe go back to the store enfemme, if you do maybe then you can be more social with him/her?

      • #684401
        Michelle Davis
        Duchess
        Registered On: August 19, 2021
        Topics: 15
        Replies: 164
        Has thanked: 1491 times
        Been thanked: 826 times

        I’m always a careful shopper.  Amazon $88 and Walmart $59.  They almost give these things away so they can sell you expensive ink.  The old razor and blades deal.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #684324
      Bianca Everdene
      Lady
      Registered On: April 11, 2017
      Topics: 31
      Replies: 986
      Has thanked: 4168 times
      Been thanked: 4304 times

      I would probably have acted the same as you Michelle.

      It is hard for me NOT to talk about what we do when in public, but it is getting easier to keep a lid on it.
      Inside I would be so interested to know this employees story, the struggles and challenges, relationships, fashion choices etc etc. Personally I love it when others show an interest, but know not everybody would be the same. It’s something (another thing LOL) I love about women I meet, their curiosity. Men usually avoid, feel awkward, uncomfortable, or are non commital. Whereas women are usually accepting, friendly, curious and open.
      But yes would probably have just asked which printer he recommended!
      B x

    • #684315
      MacKenzie Alexandra
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: May 20, 2016
      Topics: 43
      Replies: 688
      Has thanked: 186 times
      Been thanked: 1931 times

      Michelle,

      There would have been nothing wrong to have asked the sales associate of one’s prefered pronouns.  Also, do not be afraid to compliment someone’s outfit or courage.  It will be appreciated.  I say this based on my own experience.

      I generally wear feminine attire without masking the man that I am proud to be.  I have a military short haircut and sport a neatly trimmed goatee and mustache.  This does not stop me from dressing as I wish, and conducting business about town.  I invite you to view my private gallery to better visualize what I am saying here.

      That being said, I have been asked on a few occassions what my prefered pronouns are.  While I generally use male pronouns,  it doesnot bother me to be addressed by female pronouns as long as it is done with respect.  I am also frequently complimented on my outfits (both on their cuteness, and how well they look on me), and for my courage to be me.

      MacKenzie Alexandra

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #684403
        Michelle Davis
        Duchess
        Registered On: August 19, 2021
        Topics: 15
        Replies: 164
        Has thanked: 1491 times
        Been thanked: 826 times

        There was no need for pronouns in our conversations so that issue only came up for me when writing about our meeting.  I admire them and you as well for your courage and fashion choices.

        Hugs,

        Michelle

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #684306
      Саманта
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
      Topics: 762
      Replies: 1664
      Has thanked: 9792 times
      Been thanked: 6104 times

      admittedly, i’m curious why not female pronouns? sounds like a feminine person from your description…
      otherwise i’m not sure i’d have done anything any different. a compliment probably would’ve been ok if that was how you felt.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #684311
        Michelle Davis
        Duchess
        Registered On: August 19, 2021
        Topics: 15
        Replies: 164
        Has thanked: 1491 times
        Been thanked: 826 times

        I admit to being confused about what the proper pronouns are for talking about someone who is presenting as a man but in feminine clothing.  I chose the male pronouns here because I was trying to focus on how great it would be if a guy could wear skirts and dresses and it would just be business as usual for everyone but I get your point.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #684313
          Саманта
          Managing Ambassador
          Registered On: January 21, 2018
          Topics: 762
          Replies: 1664
          Has thanked: 9792 times
          Been thanked: 6104 times

          lol, i just had to ask because i present myself similarly and also work inside walmarts from time to time 😅😉 altho i try to keep the shadow at a minimum

          2 users thanked author for this post.
Viewing 18 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account

If you don't see the captcha above please disable ad and tracking blockers and reload the page.