- This topic has 17 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by
.
- Posts
Hello everyone! I am very new to this and quite honestly just writing this in search of help is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’m going through possibly the most difficult time in my life right now because of my want/need to crossdress. I could just really use and friend and some advice right now from someone who understands what I’m going through.
I have been with my wife for 10 years now since I was 17, and I have crossdressed off and on pretty much my whole life. I never told anyone because I was ashamed. After 5 years I finally told my wife, and initially she was willing to give it a try, but quickly realized it wasn’t something she could accept her husband doing. I tried yet again to put this behind me but to no avail. We VERY recently separated and it’s destroying me. Idk that anyone can help or offer any advice but even just someone to listen I guess would be nice. Thanks to all.B.. There’s no need to be nervous as we’re all here experiencing the same thing. Being as hard as it was to open up here with us you have now started your journey and hopefully received the help to answer to many of your questions. The drive that is pushing us to our feelings to dress may not be in our minds as normal but here with the acceptance and understanding that you see from all that resides here certainly shows how normal things can be so don’t be scared embrace it. With the help and advice from others as well as our very informative forums I hope you can get a better understanding of your inner feelings. And were always here to listen too and make one feel there not alone. Where all this leads is something you need to discover so relax, get comfortable and ease yourself slowly into this wonderful world. I just discovered my feelings for femininity only 3 short years ago and now in my 60’s I’ve never been happier but not without its troubling times. This place will certainly help as it did me. Beautiful ladies to talk with and with some get to know , make friends with and receive wonderful advice from.
As one of your ambassadors please be free to PM me anytime if you have a question or concern. We all here to help if we can. Very nice meeting you and hope to see you here soon. Hugs
Stephanie 🌹
Good morning! I’m sorry to hear of your misfortune with your wife. I too, am recently divorced after about 14yrs. It really makes you question your worth! My ex tried to accept my crossdressing, but I think she felt I was competing with her. I was accused of being selfish when we split up about 2yrs. ago! I’ve been incensed with expressing myself as a Crossdresser, and enjoying my feminine side since I was 3 or 4 yrs. old. I have tried multiple times to just quit it, as my Brother says, and just can’t. I’m now alone, with no one to criticize me when I enjoy my femininity. As lonely as it can be, it’s still better than walking on eggshells for being yourself! I’m a relative newbie to this sight, and have to be more communicative, but that part of my life has been a secret for so long, I’ve got to be more at ease with myself and open up. Again, sorry to hear of the strife in your life, but, you can make it through it! Enjoy your time as B Gurl… no matter what you are always going to be you. Try to accept, and enjoy yourself. The world’s a big place, and there is a place for each and every one of us. Chin Up, and Boobs’ out… Hug and best wishes, Trina
Hi B,
You have come to the right place, lots of very helpful folks here who have been through exactly what you are going through. There are also some great articles and forum posts.It seems like every second comment I have made recently is about the book I have been reading, “living with crossdressing”, this could be a great resource for anyone that is struggling with crossdressing in a relationship.
Feel free to message me if you ever need to chat,
Take care,
D.Hello b gurly Like every one said you came to the right place. My wife knows of my x dressing also but it’s a yes. Can dress up one day and the next I can not. She knows and have seen me getting dressed up. It’s only cloths to me so what is the big deal. Woman wear manly cloths now days and nothing is brought up about it. So why can,t we dress up in female cloths. So as they call it. I have been x dressing for many years since I was about 12 on and off now in my 50s I dress up when I can and under dress a lot during the winter time. I have more female cloths then wife does and seem to dress up in dresses, skirts and blouses wear make up more then wife does. It’s hard for woman to under stand the cross dressing world. Hope all things work out for you and your wife, In the mean time look around the site for information and meet new friends . Have a great day. Read my profile it will tell my side of my journey
Friend? You found one! It’s Sandy. You’ll find me around the site I try and talk to everyone. You’re starting on a journey that starts a new life you’re not alone! Go for it all out don’t be afraid! Buy yourself the next nicest set of clothes and undergarments you can afford go out have fun! Don’t worry what others think! Gotta go. Call contact me with questions. lol Sandy.
Hi, hello, and welcome to CDH! You have just arrived at the best and greatest CD site on the web! CDH has tons of very helpful crossdressing information, tips, and support from real people just like you! We highly encourage new CDH members to ask questions no matter how trivial you think they may be, as we are happy to answer to the best of our ability. We also love a well written profile, this helps everyone to get to know you better as the beautiful woman you are! We hope that you enjoy your stay here at CDH, as we are happy to have you as a part of our wonderful community.
Thank you, Samantha Roarke
Hey B , I understand where you are coming from. I to am a”closet” crossdresser, and have been divorced now for only 3 year’s I was married for over 15 year’s and believe me I had a hard, very hard time trying to feed the need to dress. She kinda knew what I was doing but I never told her or anyone for that matter. That’s not the reason why we split up, totally different story. Anyway I’m here to listen and be a friend k. Things will work out in due time thank you for being brave hug’s
Bubbles ♥️❣️❣️💋
I’m sorry to hear of your troubles but glad that you found this site. Here you can enjoy total acceptance, and by sharing your story with us here you can start the next stage of your journey. Some wives seem to be able to accept our rather dual, bi gender nature, others simply can’t seem to.
So we repress ourselves to fit in, or to satisfy others but for some reason the desire to dress always returns, sooner or later. What I think is worse, when we’re asked, “Why”, there is no answer, which makes it tougher on the one doing the asking.
If you want to chat, PM me sometime, if you’d like, meanwhile explore the site and learn about some of the many other girls here.
Amy
Wecome B! You’ve come to a great place. I can’t add too much more than what’s already been said. Its great advice, all of it. I hope you and your wife can work this out but realize that the total repression of this won’t work. Take it from me! This is likely going to be part of you all your life. Meantime, lean on the girls here. They’re the best! Many of us have been through it too. And we all know what it’s like to be different. Feel free to PM me if you’d like to talk.
-Jen
Hi B,
I am sorry to hear about your separation. I recently came out to my wife of 17 years and she has been supportive with caveats…I worry that she will ultimately will not be able to accept it, or the limits will break me and I will have to choose. I only recently (in the last 3 years) really started to explore and come to a level of acceptance of this side of me. Sites like this help. I have found a lot of useful books as well. I am still figuring it out….
For your partner, if she is at all willing or curious I recommend this book: My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser by Helen Boyd. There are many other good books as well, but that one is taken from the perspective of a cis-gendered female partner and is very informed, thoughtful and balanced, and I think she would find Helen relatable. There are a lot of other great resources listed on this site : search for “books”
This site has a private section for significant others..where she can ask questions from the partners of other CDs.
It may be hard….and you may want to simply purge and walk away from dressing, but IMO it will come back, and when it does the same questions will be there. If you are now on your own…and dressing helps calm you…I would take the time to explore further, to learn and talk to others with similar experience and feelings. You may not be ready to hear this …but this may be a gift in disguise…or perhaps a silver lining…if you are willing to explore and learn. I have purged, I have had a lot of repression and denial…and I am only now in my 40s coming to accept this is simply part of me…and that it is ok, even normal to feel this way…and to want to explore and express your gender identity and femininity.
“Flannery O’Conner once said that the story of a life is really the story of how a person meets his dragon in the road and what he does when he meets it.” – From Helen Boy’s “She’s not the man I married” – I have come to the conclusion that my desire to dress and the feeling I have around my gender are my Dragon…and possibly this is yours as well.
Everyone’s path is different…only you can travel it.
I am available to talk if you like…just reach out.
/Michelle Justine
Hi B,
I am sorry to hear about your separation. I recently came out to my wife of 17 years and she has been supportive with caveats…I worry that she will ultimately will not be able to accept it, or the limits will break me and I will have to choose. I only recently (in the last 3 years) really started to explore and come to a level of acceptance of this side of me. Sites like this help. I have found a lot of useful books as well. I am still figuring it out….
For your partner, if she is at all willing or curious I recommend this book: My Husband Betty: Love, Sex, and Life with a Crossdresser by Helen Boyd. There are many other good books as well, but that one is taken from the perspective of a cis-gendered female partner and is very informed, thoughtful and balanced, and I think she would find Helen relatable. There are a lot of other great resources listed here https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/crossdresser-shop/transgender-books/
Also there is this site, which has a private section for significant others..where she can ask questions from the partners of other CDs.
It may be hard….and you may want to simply purge and walk away from dressing, but IMO it will come back, and when it does the same questions will be there. If you are now on your own…and dressing helps calm you…I would take the time to explore further, to learn and talk to others with similar experience and feelings. You may not be ready to hear this …but this may be a gift in disguise…or perhaps a silver lining…if you are willing to explore and learn. I have purged, I have had a lot of repression and denial…and I am only now in my 40s coming to accept this is simply part of me…and that it is ok, even normal to feel this way…and to want to explore and express your gender identity and femininity.
“Flannery O’Conner once said that the story of a life is really the story of how a person meets his dragon in the road and what he does when he meets it.” – From Helen Boy’s “She’s not the man I married” – I have come to the conclusion that my desire to dress and the feeling I have around my gender are my Dragon…and possibly this is yours as well.
Everyone’s path is different…only you can travel it.
I am available to talk if you like…just reach out.
/Michelle Justine
- The forum ‘Introductions & New Members’ is closed to new topics and replies.
Recent Comments