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  • #565781
    Dana J. Banton
    Participant
    Registered On: March 19, 2018
    Topics: 10
    Replies: 135
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    Hey everyone.  I hope you are having a wonderful day and excited about Halloween weekend!

    For those who are not “out” to everyone, I am wondering if anyone feels the way I do sometimes.  Sometimes I can feel very much alone, from Dana’s perspective.  Now I know there are wonderful people here and you all are hugely supportive.  The love that encompasses anyone who is struggling is amazing, so with that I don’t feel totally alone.  That’s not the issue.

    Other than everyone here, and the awesome people at Janet’s Closet in Detroit, nobody but my wife knows about Dana and I have no plans of telling anyone else.  My wife has known for about a year now and she has yet to meet Dana.  I try to keep it from her as much as possible and not bring her up unless she does.  I am trying to give her the space she needs to process all of this.  I know it is hard on her.  But I also have a need to let Dana out a little bit.  And that brings me to my point.

    I can only let Dana out when I am alone.  I do not get to experience her with other friends…male/female/transgender/etc.  So sometimes it gets a little lonely.

    Now I have been out as Dana, but always out of town.  I do travel some for work and I do get some opportunities to let Dana out. I have been to a bar or two (LGBTQIA’s friendly bars only), driving around, getting gas and I have been out shopping a bit. But this has all been, with very few exceptions, by myself.

    I know there have been several girlfriends that I have tried to meet and have coffee and such and I have yet to do that.  Not because I don’t want to, but because it is very difficult to leave the house as Dana.  I am trying to be fair to my wife and give her time and not push her.  She is usually home and I do not want to lie to her about what I am doing.  Thus it makes it very difficult to get out unless I am going on a work trip, and even then that is only if I am driving.  I am not packing everything I need in a suitcase and putting it on a plane.  Not ready for that.

    I would love for my wife to meet Dana and be ok with her…but that is not my decision.  I would love to go on a “girls weekend” with my wife.  I would love to meet up with other girlfriends…even just for a cup of coffee sometime.  I am still looking for these opportunities and maybe someday some or all of these wishes may happen.  For now…with the exception of the wonderful people here on CDH, I think Dana will be alone for a little while longer.

    Somedays I am so happy to have Dana in my life and somedays I wonder why God gave me these feelings in the first place.

    Now don’t worry everyone, I am fine.  No need to call the troops in for an intervention.  I am in no way looking to do anything drastic.  I just wanted to express some feelings I am having…that’s all.

    I hope you all are doing well and staying healthy.  Love you all.

    Hugs… Dana.

Viewing 28 reply threads
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    • #567103
      Jess Secret
      Lady
      Registered On: February 18, 2021
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      Great and important topic Dana, in my case I don’t really feel alone even though in my personal life my boyfriend is the only one who knows. He’s a great guy and really encourages & supports my dressing, plus my entire wardrobe is pretty much beautiful/romantic lingerie and thus I enjoy my privacy and the fact that only my bf knows about it and sees me dress. CDH has definitely helped me to not feel alone and the irony is is that while I do get occasional urges for more people to know about my dressing, I think I would feel much more alone if I was “out” and many people knew. Just my perspective of course but I really enjoy my dressing situation at home with my great boyfriend as it is and feeling alone doesn’t really occur to me much at all.

    • #567040
      Dana J. Banton
      Lady
      Registered On: March 19, 2018
      Topics: 10
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      I have to say that I am OVERWHELMED with all of the love and support you all have shown.  While I am not depressed or anything, this was an issue that I feel often.  You girls are just simply the best.  I am trying so hard to respond to everyone of you, but you have made my job very challenging.  I love you all for that.  You all have truly uplifted my spirits and that is something I will cherish forever.  Thank you so much!  Love you all!❤️❤️

      Hugs…. Dana

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    • #567014
      Abbie Normal
      Duchess
      Registered On: June 13, 2021
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      I very much feel the same way. Lonely and trapped since I can only do this occasionally lately. I miss going out for drives.

      I hope you find some relief Dana,

      — Abbie 🥰

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      • #567414
        Anonymous
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        You’re pretty special, Abbie.  I’m not sure that you’re aware.  I’m glad you came here.

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        • #567587
          Abbie Normal
          Duchess
          Registered On: June 13, 2021
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          HUGS Rach…

          Edit: I’m so glad I came here too.

          — Abbie 🥰😘

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      • #567043
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Thank you Abbie.  I hope the same for you as well!!  Your support and love mean a lot!
        Hugs… Dana

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    • #566992
      MelanieElizabeth
      Lady
      Registered On: January 9, 2021
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      Definitely. Outside of cdh only my wife and one friend who I met here know about me. I haven’t been out really as of yet, so it can be lonely. I’ve spent hours doing makeup and picking out the perfect outfit for an audience of one. Dressing and staring at the same four walls can feel depressing. At times I wonder why bother but I always come back to it. You are not alone Dana even if at times it feels that way.

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      • #567052
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Sounds like we are in the same boat Melanie!  But the courage it takes to even reach out on here… CDH… is amazing.  I know it took courage for me initially.  Why I do not know, but it did.  I hope your loneliness diminishes too and soon!

        Thank you for sharing!!

        Hugs… Dana

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    • #566931
      Stephanie Kennedy
      Registered On: March 15, 2019
      Topics: 20
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      Hi Dana Cross dressing has very much a part of history. Even today it is still not understood. The fact is this is just a part of you that needs to be expressed. Some do it in private and alone others have found a SO that they can share it with. I have been cross dressing for as long as I can remember. We as a people represent only 1% of the people world wide. There is no need to feel lonely or thinking you are alone anymore  Just get involved some how some way. I must admit it is not easy. it just takes time and a little effort. I can share a little how I got involved when I was married and at around age 30. I Found this really cute and pretty lingerie shop in small town I was passing through. So I stopped just to see what they had to offer. It was just about mid day and there were no other customers in the store. Young woman came up to me to offer her help and asked me if I have seen anything I liked. She ask me if I was looking was for someone special. I just flat out told her I was looking for me. We chatted about how many customers she had that were just like me. She suggested a few outfits that more in my size and told me I was welcome to try them on if I wanted. She not only sold me a cute skirt and blouse that would match but a bra and inserts that made everything feel and look so nice. How could I leave there without a cute pair of 3 inch two tone pumps. Then what really changed my life she gave a brochure for a local CD/TG club that had met twice a week. She told me about a place in the next town over that did make up and wig care for the ladies at the club. My point being Just put your self out there and follow up with clubs and attend fairs even if there is a little driving to do. Telling your SO is whole another story. I was not brave as so many here. She found my clothes in the trunk off my car. The only thing I could do is tell her the truth. I ENJOY CROSS DRESSING and I do not know WHY. She took the time to try and understand. One of the many things I learned. I love the image of a woman when I look at my self in the mirror after getting all dressed up. It just confirmed the girl in my head was a part of me that I no longer want to deny or hide I just want to be me. It so much easier and a lot less lonely to know others feel like me. There are plenty of resources here at CDH. Loneliness is some you should not have to deal with. YOU did nothing wrong and you are not doing anything wrong for sharing this part of you that needs to be expressed one way or another. Any other questions you know how to reply any time

      Luv Stephanie

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      • #567051
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Thank you so much Stephanie.  While I may not be able to live as Dana full time, there are moments when I get to experience her out in the real world.  I need to learn to cherish those that I have and worry less about the moments I do not have.  And you are right on target when you say to get involved somehow.  You get more out of something the more you put into it.  Thank you for reminding me about that.

        Hugs… Dana

    • #566909
      Ginger Tarynn Green
      Lady
      Registered On: June 16, 2021
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      Well after hearing everyone’s replies I feel more support is out there for us.   I know that everyone here is amazing and feel the love each time that I log into chat.  I started this journey as everyone else here.  Digging through mom and my sisters dresser drawers.  Over the years there were many times I dabbled in small sessions of dressing. Lingerie etc…   Fast forward many years later, about  six months ago  I began having way stronger urges to explore this side of me. Shortly after I found CDH. At that point I realized that I was not the only person like me.  There are thousands of girls out there that are in the same boat if not in a similar situation.  My wife has no clue about Ginger. Neither does anyone else except all of you at CDH.  It is a lonely existence, however I am making the best of it.  I have began shopping in drab and identifying myself to whoever is assisting me in whatever store I am in.  Realistically they don’t know me and most likely don’t care.   I am like you and rarely get to dress and cherish each time that I get to.  I also get to travel for work occasionally and Ginger takes over then.   In two weeks I am going for a full body waxing and then a makeover and photo shoot.   Six months ago I would have never considered those things.  True it is a lonely existence at some times, but it is also an exciting time in my life.  One day I will come out to my wife, but for now me myself and Ginger are happy with the entire situation.  Thank you for the insight Dana.  And thank everyone that replied to this post.   I love all of you sooooo much.

      hugs and love Ginny.

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      • #567047
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Wow Ginger!  You said so much in your reply and thank you for sharing.  A full body waxing!?!?  Wow…you go girl!  That sounds painful!  Lol.  Good for you!  And you are going to absolutely love, love, LOVE the makeover.  I have had several and am excited every time I get one.

        It does me good to know that I am not alone with these feelings, although it does sadden me that others have to feel this way too.
        Thank you again for sharing.  Let us know how the waxing, makeover and photo shoot goes!  I am excited for you!

        Hugs… Dana

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        • #567058
          Ginger Tarynn Green
          Lady
          Registered On: June 16, 2021
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          Will do Dana.  I am excited for the trip and terrified at the same time.   It will be my first time ever to basically do everything on my list.  I have never been out of the house dressed. Other Than underdressing  every day.

           

          wish me luck.  hugs and stuff Ginny.

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          • #567406
            Dana J. Banton
            Lady
            Registered On: March 19, 2018
            Topics: 10
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            Good luck, not that you need it, and have fun!  Hugs…Dana

    • #566893
      Lacy Satin
      Lady
      Registered On: June 27, 2018
      Topics: 7
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      Crossdressing is something I have done since I was very young. I was a lonely little boy with no boyfriends. I had a girlfriend down the street that I was really close to until she found a girlfriend and no longer wanted to be friends with me.

      I started putting on my sisters dresses in secret and dreamed of being one of the girls. I never told anyone of my desires and it was something I did every time I felt lonely.

      To this day my dressing is a very private affair and I use it as a fantasy escape from everyday boring life as a man. I fantasize about being a pretty girl who gets all the attention.

      For being male I don’t think I look all that bad in a dress and I love taking pictures of myself looking all feminine and girly. Looking at myself from the outside in, sort of gives the girl in me the attention she so desires.

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      • #567044
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Thank you Lacy!
        I am sorry to hear about your girlfriend when you were young.  We all have done stupid and unkind things when we were young.  I think we were just too young to understand the impact we were having on others.  But it sounds like you have turned that into a positive in your life.  Good for you.  You are an inspiration!  Thank you again.

        Hugs… Dana

        • #567407
          Lacy Satin
          Lady
          Registered On: June 27, 2018
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          When I was very young I had no idea there was a difference between boys and girls except for the fact that if your mom let your hair grow long and dressed you in pretty dresses they called you a girl and from what I saw is they gave you a lot of praise and attention.

          My mom always cut my hair and would say to me, “If you were a girl, what I could do with your pretty hair” Never could understand why she would cut it off. I would have been very happy being her little girl with long pretty hair not to mention being able to wear pretty dresses.

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    • #566810
      Anonymous
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      Hi Dana. This is such a good question that really made me think. I often feel alone in my journey which makes me sad. I’m a very outgoing and open person who loves to share about myself with others, but the one part of my personality that I am so passionate about and makes me feel alive, I can’t tell people about. It’s just unfortunate that some people are so close minded that they won’t even give something new a chance. I would love to meet someone that I could talk with openly about this part of me and not have to worry about being judged. What people don’t understand scares them. I’m so happy that I am here with such wonderful friends who I can open up to. Thank you all for being here. 😇

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      • #567036
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Thank you Jen.  Like many have said along with you, CDH and the girls here are truly wonderful and I am grateful for the love and support we get here.  Not sure where I would be without this place.

        Hugs… Dana

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    • #566638
      Ambermaria Martinez
      Duchess
      Registered On: July 8, 2018
      Topics: 5
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      Hi Girls this is a great question yes I feel very lonely when I get dressed I live alone and I dress in my apartment my ex landlords wife knew I was a 🤞 and she had no issues with it he never knew at times when he would go away for couple days she would always come up for coffee and ask me if I would love to go to the MALL WITH HER THAT WAS WONDERFUL TO HEAR so I would get a shower look for a dress to wear get my makeup on and head down stairs to there house then we would hit the malls but now they sold the house and I have no one to go out with which is very sad I don’t do clubs cause I don’t drink I’d love to have some girlfriends like me to just hang out with and be girl’s together I also would love to dress everyday with if possible so I can be the real me hope everyone is having a fun hollered besafe becareful STAY you love ambermaria

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      • #567035
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Ambermaria,

        what an awesome experience to have with the wife of your landlord.  Wow!  Color me jealous!  Lol. Thank you for sharing hon.

        Hugs…. Dana

        • #568217
          Ambermaria Martinez
          Duchess
          Registered On: July 8, 2018
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          She is very open minded she said as long as I love crossdressing why would anyone care. They don’t pay my bills or live my life.i don’t care who doesn’t like it I love and it makes me feel very very happy I have more women’s clothes then my other clothes and always adding more and more

    • #566627
      Anonymous
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      Hey Dana,

      I feel isolated and with respect to crossdressing. I crossdressed alone for decades and felt as though I was the only person on earth who was like me.

      Five years ago I met my wife I am out to my her, she is very supportive. I have been unable to go out dressed but maybe some day.

      CDH helped me to realize I’m not alone and it’s nice to know there are thousands of people like me.

      Caroline

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      • #567032
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Thank you for the uplifting message Caroline. Yes CDH is a gem of a place.

        Hugs… Dana

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    • #566311
      Anonymous
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      I would say quite the opposite. When I was young and up to current day, I use dressing as my escape. When I was lonely as a child I found my inner self. And today I love some time alone to dress up.

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      • #567031
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Michelle,

        Interesting perspective.  Positive and uplifting.  Thank you sweetheart!

        Hugs… Dana

    • #566299
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
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      Reading your post certainly has many familiarities as yourself.  Alone much of the time and always wanting to move forward in socializing with others like ourselves. My wife is the only one close to me who knows and does allow Stephanie in but cautiously. I’m at the moment who is insecure but only to how my wife really feels about my dressing. I have been out in public actually several times but unfortunately not for a year or so well since this virus started running our lives. Now it’s very difficult to step out as my confidence that I have build  year’s ago has suddenly disappeared. I’m now lonely again and afraid to make that happen anytime soon. As our winter approaches have there with be time to reflect on this and hopefully to move forward and look to meet many of my fellow Cder friends and enjoy the wonderful company once again….🌷

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      • #567030
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Stephanie,

        Thank you for sharing with us.  That whole confidence thing sure can be elusive at times.  I also have been out in public many times.  Like I said in the original post, I have been to a few bars, out and about driving and have done some shopping as Dana.  My heart pounds every time and sometimes so much that I chicken out.  Hang tough girlfriend.  From what I see in your photo, you are absolutely gorgeous!

        Hugs…. Dana

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    • #566162
      Sylvia
      Lady
      Registered On: October 10, 2021
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      “Somedays I am so happy to have Dana in my life and somedays I wonder why God gave me these feelings in the first place”.

      Dana I think you should be happy to have Dana in your life , always !

      I can only speak for myself but when somebody would say to me :
      “If you take the blue pill , you will wake up in your bed in the morning and all the crossdressing feelings will be gone”.
      “If you will take the red pill…..I will have already swallowed the red one !
      Be proud of who you are , even if it gets lonely sometimes , you are never alone !

      Love Sylvia.

      • This reply was modified 11 months ago by Sylvia.
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      • #566276
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Thank you Sylvia.  I understand what you are saying and I will work to find that acceptance and pride.  Right now it is just something I struggle with.  Thank you again for your encouragement and kindness.

        Hugs… Dana

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    • #566151
      Amy Oxley
      Lady
      Registered On: September 20, 2021
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      I have to agree with the other girls here. A gentle chat would be the way forward. You will probably  find your wife will have many questions but doesn’t really know how to approach the conversation. Small steps. Good luck.

      Before i met my wife i was very alone. I would not dream of telling anyone my secret, but my wife is a very special lady and i am extremely lucky. That said, she does still have her limits. Whilst she is happy for me to dress at home, i know it’s not something she is happy to see every day. She often works long hours and comes home tired and i have learned that this is not the time for Amy. At times she still needs her man. I guess it’s about finding that acceptable middle ground and go from there.

      Amy x

      • #566291
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Amy,

        Thank you for your feedback.  As many have stated already and as you have, I need to have a conversation with my wife in order to move forward.  This will not be easy but it needs to happen.

        Thank you again.

        Hugs… Dana.

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    • #566077
      Regine Kelly
      Lady
      Registered On: October 9, 2020
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      Hi, Dana,
      I dont feel alone, as my wife has known since a couple weeks after I discovered myself, and accepted and encourages, me.
      I have to agree with Mandy wife, and you dont really say, have you talked at all, with your SO, about the way you feel, or how she feels?
      As has been stated many times, by myself, and others, communication is key to happiness, and while I whole heartedly agree on not pushing too hard, you do need the odd nudge, if you want to progress,,anywhere.
      Just my thoughts, and I wish you well,
      Hugs, Regi👸💖

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      • #566288
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Regine,

        I do agree that communication is key and this needs to happen.  Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

        Hugs… Dana.

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    • #566048
      Mandy Wife
      Baroness
      Registered On: September 12, 2019
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      Hi Dana, that sounds very lonely for you.

      Your wife has known for about a year? I know you are giving her space to process, and that’s great, but she may also not realise you want / need more and that’s why it’s not come up in conversation?

      A gentle talk about how she’s doing and being honest about how you are doing would be good.  Don’t go in all guns blazing, and yes it will take time, but maybe start by asking if you can wear a skirt and heels or something at home? And develop from there if she is comfortable.

      Honestly, from a wife/SO perspective we have absolutely no clue that our other halves may be wanting more, other than probably worrying about you wanting to go out and be chatted up so slow steps, open conversations and trying to involve her if she wants to be involved will help xz

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      • #566652
        Alana Teal
        Lady
        Registered On: June 9, 2020
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        Mandy Wife,

        Thank you for your valuable insight as a SO. I wanted to thank my wife for indulging my femininity yesterday, but chickened out. I mostly underdress, an occasional women’s pair of shorts or top if not too girly. The few times we have talked she asks why I keep bringing up the subject of my wearing panties. I guess maybe there may be more under the surface of how feminine I feel sometimes. I don’t want to steal her femininity from her, and have her think she is losing her man. That is one of the reasons I would never transition.

        Thank you,

        Alana

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      • #566287
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
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        Hi Mandy.

        Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this and you bring up a great point.  Maybe I should start a conversation, albeit slowly or gingerly.  Just enough to help get the ball rolling forward but enough to where I overload her.  For sure communication is absolutely a must…it has just been hard to open up again about this.  But you’re right…I need to do it.

        Thank you for your advice on this.

        Hugs… Dana.

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    • #565900
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
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      Dana, you describe the way I feel so much of the time that I am out. I am up to walking the local mall here. Other than having a few short conversations with the SA’s, I am by myself all the time except this last Sunday when I walked the mall with Birel

      . . .Cassie

      7 users thanked author for this post.
      • #566292
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
        Topics: 10
        Replies: 135
        Has thanked: 528 times
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        Cassie.

        Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this and if I could, I would give you a big hug right now.

        Hugs… Dana.

         

        2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #566294
          Cassie Jayson
          Duchess
          Registered On: September 29, 2019
          Topics: 59
          Replies: 1025
          Has thanked: 2404 times
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          Dana, a big long distance ‘air hug’ for you.
          . . .Cassie

          2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #565884
      Liara Wolfe
      Lady
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 1607
      Has thanked: 3155 times
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      There are times I do feel alone. I would like nothing better than to have a girlfriend or my wife to go shopping with, etc. However, I do cherish my Femme time when ever I get. Even by myself I feel so alive when I’m in my female mode.

      Hugs, Liara

      7 users thanked author for this post.
      • #566280
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
        Topics: 10
        Replies: 135
        Has thanked: 528 times
        Been thanked: 635 times

        Liara.

        Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.  I do, as well, feel alive when I let Dana out.

        Hugs… Dana

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #565862
      Charlene Victoria
      Lady
      Registered On: November 29, 2016
      Topics: 27
      Replies: 236
      Has thanked: 1484 times
      Been thanked: 1397 times

      Dana thank you for opening up your heart. To share whether it be hurt or happiness is always comforting. I found comfort for my own sense of being alone as I read all your replies.

      Two things come to mind after reading everyone’s answers.

      The greatest joy in life comes when you share something you love with someone else for whom you care and perhaps love AND they enjoy it with you.

      For example – what is more enjoyable, eating alone at a fine restaurant or sharing that time with someone you love and care for. Truly as the Scriptures state, “it is more blessed to give then receive.” Is not our shared conundrum exactly this; how do we share something we treasure so deeply with someone we love or care about when they don’t care to share it with us? Without their willingness we are left to “enjoy” it alone. And without fail that type of enjoyment, as exciting as it might be in the moment ultimately leaves us with a sense of aloneness does it not? I could develop this further, but that would make this reply far too long.

      Secondly, I wrote a forum post about this previously, but it is worth reiterating. I am awed by the girls here who have been married for 30 plus years, whose spouses want nothing to do with your feminine side, and yet you love them more than anything. So much do you love them that you suffer aloneness for decades just so they don’t have to be hurt.

      I must say that the girls here are some of the finest most faithful people I know. I am honored to be part of this group.

      Loneliness seems to be an inherent part of our lives just as our femme essence is. Yet a golden thread that is woven in so many is a deep love for family. Perhaps that deep love is what empowers us to bare the lonliness. Perhaps that deep love would not be there if it wasn’t for our femininity.

      Blessings,

      Charlene

      • #566278
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
        Topics: 10
        Replies: 135
        Has thanked: 528 times
        Been thanked: 635 times

        Charlene.

        Your words are very insightful and thank you for sharing them.  You bring up a number of good points that I will think about further.  And yes, there are some incredible people on this site and I am grateful to among all of you girls.  Thank you again.

        Hugs… Dana

    • #565859
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
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      Hi Dana many times always feel alone in my journey. But do know have a ton of support from family friends locally and all the outstanding ladies here. May feel alone but not alone. If that make any sense.

      One day hoping to have a SO But right now do have a great BF. Guess can call him my SO since we always together when possible.

      Donna

       

      8 users thanked author for this post.
      • #566277
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
        Topics: 10
        Replies: 135
        Has thanked: 528 times
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        Donna.  You are right on.  We do have a ton of friends here on CDH so we are not alone.  Thank you.

        How is everything going with your surgeries?  The final one should be coming up soon, right?  I am so happy for you!  Keep us all informed on how you are doing!!

        Hugs…  Dana

        2 users thanked author for this post.
        • #566343
          Anonymous
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          Thank you Dana yes last one coming up next month November 15th. Will do that for sure keep all updated.

          Hugs
          Donna

    • #565857
      Prudence
      Ambassador
      Registered On: January 7, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 332
      Has thanked: 1530 times
      Been thanked: 1323 times

      Hi Dana! Yes, it does.  Hugs

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #565895
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
        Topics: 10
        Replies: 135
        Has thanked: 528 times
        Been thanked: 635 times

        Prudence,

        I wish I could just hug you right now…….

        Hugs, and lots of them… Dana

        3 users thanked author for this post.
        • #566033
          Prudence
          Ambassador
          Registered On: January 7, 2020
          Topics: 2
          Replies: 332
          Has thanked: 1530 times
          Been thanked: 1323 times

          Hi Dana, Hugs back, Thank You!!

          3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #565848
      Marti
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 5, 2019
      Topics: 62
      Replies: 957
      Has thanked: 4975 times
      Been thanked: 4524 times

      Hi Dana,

      I think feeling lonely at times goes with the territory. I can’t speak regarding an SO, I’m a widower (in the closet) , but it’s reassuring to see more than a few girls here who have overcome the situation. But as you seem to be saying also, for me, as things stand, it is what it is. There again, personality wise, I’m quite comfortable in my own company, anyway.

      And not forgetting CDH has made a huge difference.

      Marti xxx

      9 users thanked author for this post.
      • #565894
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
        Topics: 10
        Replies: 135
        Has thanked: 528 times
        Been thanked: 635 times

        Hi Marti.

        you are right about the wonderful ladies on CDH.  We are truly blessed to have found this place.

        Thank you.

        Hugs… Dana

        5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #565842
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
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      Hi Dana,

      Yes, loneliness is part of it. Maybe God made us like this, but it’s the others who have decided that they are uncomfortable with it. I wonder if in 50 or 100 years, this will be viewed as acceptable and maybe even encouraged.

      I have urges to transition and have started feminizing my body, but I cannot be out to everyone around right now or there would be a lot of fallout and I’m not ready to pay that price at this time. I think that I eventually will be out.

      I would love to go out and have coffee with all of you!

      7 users thanked author for this post.
      • #565891
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
        Topics: 10
        Replies: 135
        Has thanked: 528 times
        Been thanked: 635 times

        Rasa,

        I would love to have coffee with you!  I hope and pray that you find the right path on transitioning and that you are happy.  The “fallout”…I totally understand what that can mean.
        Thank you for sharing.

        Hugs… Dana

        3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #565841
      Lara Tucker
      Lady
      Registered On: September 29, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 1075
      Has thanked: 23762 times
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      Hi Dana,

      I’m alone all the time when I am dressing.  I have only discovered this side of me within the last 3-4 years.

      I’m terrified of what my wife of 38 yeas reaction would be. Most of our long time friends, and fammily have very traditional values as well, so I’m not ready to share anytime soon.

      Though just like you said, I have questioned, I have also thanked God for the amazing feelings I have while en femme.

      And then we have this wonderful community for support too!

      So I guess we are not alone…

      Hugs,

      Lara

      • #565889
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
        Topics: 10
        Replies: 135
        Has thanked: 528 times
        Been thanked: 635 times

        Lara

        here we are definitely not alone and the love that has been shown so far has been amazing.  Blessed beyond words.

        Thank you

        Hugs… Dana

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #565832
      Michelle Davis
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 19, 2021
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 125
      Has thanked: 1332 times
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      Hi Dana,

      I don’t feel alone because my wife and I are very close. She doesn’t want to see me dressed and has health issues that keep her at home so my opportunities to dress are very limited. We have recently discussed the stress this is causing me and I asked if I could wear a nightgown to bed. She was OK with that and it has helped a lot. If she had not been ok with it I would have lived with that decision because our relationship means everything to me. Her health is not good so I realize that after 52 years of marriage I could wind up alone. All the opportunity in the world to dress won’t offset the loneliness I fully expect to feel then.

      • #565888
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
        Topics: 10
        Replies: 135
        Has thanked: 528 times
        Been thanked: 635 times

        Michelle,

        That perspective hits home very strong.  Although my wife is in relatively good health, our relationship and having her around is more important than the opportunities to dress.  So thank you for helping keep things in perspective.

        Hugs… Dana

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #565823
      Jill Quinn
      Lady
      Registered On: July 24, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 169
      Has thanked: 1620 times
      Been thanked: 772 times

      Dear Dana,

      In answer to your question about feeling alone, for me it’s yes, Yes, YES! My wife knows I cross dress but with a very limited wardrobe at this point. And she has encouraged me to wear my nighties or nightgown to bed because she says that I sleep better. We even have sex while I’m wearing a nightie. But she hasn’t seen me in my new dress and to be fair, I’m not sure I’m ready for her to see me that way.

      The other issue is that her oldest son lives with us (special needs adult) and I’m definitely not ready for him to see me en femme. I think he knows but I’m not going to confirm it for him right now. But this also means that I can’t dress up unless I’m home by myself. I don’t have another girl to show me how to do my makeup, or wear a wig properly, or as you stated, go out for coffee with. I still have too much to buy before I go out anyways (glasses, shoes, wig, accessories) and those things aren’t cheap. And I have other things that need to take priority financially speaking, over getting everything Jill needs to really be a classy lady.

      And I too have wondered why God gave me these feelings. Life would be easier without them, that’s for sure. But I can’t help but think that Jill makes life more interesting too.

      Thankfully, the girls here make things easier to bear with their kindness and words of wisdom. They keep me from feeling completely alone and isolated which is how I used to feel years ago.

      And I do hope that your wife will want to meet Dana sometime very soon. From what I can see, she’s very honest, thoughtful, and intelligent, and your wife would be a lucky woman to meet her.

      Hugs, Jill

      • #565887
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
        Topics: 10
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        Has thanked: 528 times
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        Jill,

        You’re so sweet. Thank you for sharing your story on this.

        Hugs… Dana

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #565798
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 1157
      Has thanked: 4371 times
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      I think Terri says it. How many of us started alone. Look as it as a time to find yourself. Answer a lot of questions and establish that you are committed to pursue this life . Once you are settled, comfortable within yourself then you have the confidence to go forward. It’s like a probation with no timescale.

      I’ll call of the troops….

      9 users thanked author for this post.
      • #565812
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
        Topics: 10
        Replies: 135
        Has thanked: 528 times
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        You’re awesome Angela.  Thank you for calling off the troops!  😃❤️

        Hugs…. Dana.

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #565787
      Barb Wire
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: September 16, 2021
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 704
      Has thanked: 4026 times
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      A very touching post, Dana! I have a sympathetic smile!

      My SO sees Barb in every day! Not dressed fully yet, but that is my goal and to go for coffee as fully dressed Barb with her too. That’s the Holy Grail, isn’t it?

      I am not a “regular” guy. I get bored of head-butting with other guys for hierarchical supremacy. Some guy always wants to be “Top Dog”. And it looks ridiculous on a middle-aged man. But that doesn’t mean I lack power. I will stand my ground. My SO likes that.

      “So, Barb, WTFITPOAT?”

      I found that I can be feminine with my SO without all the clothes, especially with our conversations. It’s OK to giggle and go off on a tangent and ride it! I have only one boy friend like this, an super-amazing and very learned Englishman with a PhD in god knows what. He can talk about anything and displays many feminine characteristics. In fact, I’ve probably picked up some of his mannerisms. It wouldn’t surprise me if he has crossdressing tendencies…

      I’ve kinda combined boy-me with Barb-me and I’ve never been happier!

      Hang in there, Dana!

      🐕 Barb

      • #565808
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
        Topics: 10
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        Has thanked: 528 times
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        Barb,

        Thank you for sharing.  I never really thought about it that way….being Barb, in your case, without the clothes and makeup.  You make a good point and that might be what is needed to allow this to move forward. Thank You!

         

        Hugs… Dana

        5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #565785
      Terri
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 17, 2016
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 231
      Has thanked: 264 times
      Been thanked: 749 times

      Dana, thank you for posting your story. I guarantee that there are girls like us are reading it and saying thats exactly how I have felt. When I was 30 years old I went to my first CD party in 1978. I met people just like myself. It was a life changing experience. Finding out that I wasn’t alone was something I remember like it was yesterday
      Your wife is like my wife. I have accepted that she will nothing to do with my femme side. Over the years I have struggled with balancing this part of me in my life. We are married 50 years and have a large family. Over the years I have met some very interesting and nice people.
      Thank you again for telling your story.
      Yours Terri

      8 users thanked author for this post.
      • #565807
        Dana J. Banton
        Lady
        Registered On: March 19, 2018
        Topics: 10
        Replies: 135
        Has thanked: 528 times
        Been thanked: 635 times

        Thank you Terri for sharing.  Wow…you went to a Cd party back in 1978?  There was far less acceptance back then than there is today.  You are one brave individual.

        I love the fact that you and your wife have been married so long…50 years.  That takes two committed and loving people to make it that long.  That too is something to be admired.

        Thank you again for sharing your story Terri

        Hugs… Dana

        4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #565810
      Dana J. Banton
      Lady
      Registered On: March 19, 2018
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 135
      Has thanked: 528 times
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      Hi Bobbisue.

      I am so sorry to hear your SO is gone.  But thank you for sharing your perspective.

      Hopefully you will find some friends at the upcoming show you are going to.  Friends make a world of difference.  I can make the friends.  There is a friend not too far from me that am trying to find a time to meet for coffee.  Getting out of the house, as Dana or in drab, without lying to my wife is the problem and is what is holding me back.  But we take it one day at a time.

      Thank you again.

      Hugs… Dana

      5 users thanked author for this post.
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