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So this was the week that I said to myself what the hell just do it.
I decided to go out dressed up but only from the neck down (no wig or make-up) just don’t have the time and money to go that far at the moment. It was great and I should have done it years ago. I have spent many years doubting myself and even in the early years before the internet, thinking I was the only one in the world like me, I was just that weird guy that just wanted to dress in womens clothes.
This week I went dressed to the Sportsman Bar in Brisbane for a beer and punt on the pokies. still got a few looks even though it is one of the local Gay/lesbian bars but I felt comfortable being there as all I wanted was to sit have a drink while dressed for the first time.
Kate
The first time I ever went out “dressed”, I was wearing pantyhose with shorts. Other than the pantyhose is was a guy outfit. That was scary and a big deal for me. After several times out, my confidence improved. I bought some short girl’s shorts and wore those out with pantyhose. It was similar fears to what I had the first time out. After several times out, my confidence grew. Then I had to upgrade my shoes. I bought several pairs of platform wedges. I really liked them and was anxious to wear them out with my pantyhose and short shorts. There was many false starts and chicken outs. My feet just coldn’t leave the car. One day my feet got out and the rest of me followed. I took a stroll through a shopping center from one end to the other and back. I thought I was getting looks. It was scary but exciting. When I thought someone was looking I would casually pause looking into a store window letting them see me more.
From where I was scared to death to be seen in pantyhose and guy shorts, now I wearing pantyhose with short girls shorts and platform wedges, pausing to let those who I thought were looking at me have a longer look. I was loving this. It was so scary but exciting and such a thrill and rush. What do I do next?
I had some long shirts that completely covered my short shorts. It looked like I was wearing a short dress. I bought those shirts to wear with my pantyhose at home. Do I have the nerve to wear that out? Lot’s of false starts. Lot’s of chickening out, until one day I just got out of the car and began walking. I got some looks and a few smiles. Nothing hostile, taunting or in insulting This was a whole new level and look for me. I was wearing, sheer to waist pantyhose with platform wedges and a shirt that literally was a short dress. My hair was kind of longish. Did I look like a guy in short dress, pantyhose and heels or was I looking more fem?
Now what? I should wear this outfit and go shopping for more clothes. I bought a lot of pantyhose. I sometimes wondered if those seeing what I was buying wondered if I was buying them for myself. If I was wearing pantyhose while buying pantyhose, that would remove all doubt. It was a crazy idea but it excited me. I had to do it.
There seemed to be endless false starts and chickening out. This was a big step. Finally I did it. I walked in to a store, located the pantyhose, chose several pairs, paid for them and left. WOW! That was exciting. I had to do it again. Off I went to other stores, buying more pantyhose. Over the next few week I bought a lot of pantyhose. Then came that time when a girls asked if I was wearing pantyhose. That freaked me. I put down the pantyhose I was going to buy, hurried out of the store, got in my car, drove home and swore I would never do that again. A few day later I was in my shopping out fit, back at the same store, buying the pantyhose I had left behind.
The next time I got asked about my pantyhose, I was just as panicked but I didn’t run off. I had a conversation about pantyhose. That was fun. After that came several more encounters. Is the pantyhose you’re buying what you’re wearing? How do you like them? They look good on you. Honey, if I had legs like yours I would show them like you do. Sweetie, I just wanted to let you know you have a run in your hose.
Then came the girl who upon conversing with me for a while was surprised I was a guy. She wondered why I didn’t wear all female clothes. Over the next few months, we bought some female attire and helped me create Patty. Then we went to a college Halloween Party. This was a whole new level of dressing for me and brought on all the same fears I had at every dressing level. I was worried and scared of everything.
I got used to the heels, I enjoyed the very short dress with my shiny sheer to waist pantyhose. I had sexy panties on. I had nice breasts and wild, long, blonde hair. My makeup was overdone. I was a bit hit. Girls wanted to tease and play with me. Guys wanted to get to know me. I also met other dressers who invited me to party with them.
I started going out with guy clothes and pantyhose a year before. That was big deal. Now I was fully fem. Each step towards it was a huge one, with big fears and reservations. I think many of us start with an item of clothing and build up on that item.
My short girl’s shorts showed off my legs in pantyhose better. My platform wedges mad them look even better. The short shirt dress raised my look even more. Next thing I know I’m a female character I created. Maybe some just dress fully fem and go out that way their first time. Myself, like others seem to build on it over time.
To me it was a gradual build up process. Take a step. Get the courage to go through with it then go to the next step. Then keep repeating the same process.
From the time I first wore pantyhose out with guy shorts and clothes to being the party girl in pantyhose took about a year with several small and scary steps in between.
Kate
Congratulations on a an experience a long time in the making.
It is about being comfortable within ourselves! in the clothing and style that works best for each of us as individuals, not what others percieve as acceptable. Amany of us do this because it feels right and true to our being, some just add the extras to make it seem more pallatable to the mainstream.
Dressing femme only from the neck down as you couragiously did is actually my usual MO. I may get to the hair and make-up at some point which I’m sure will put some others at ease…but for me thats not what its all about.
Ladies;
I’m sure there’s a little misunderstanding with this one. If you’ve ever lived in Brisbane, there’s only a very very very (I don’t know if I can say that enough) short period of the year where the wig would not be horrendously uncomfortable. (Think tropics) For anyone who lives in a warm area and still manages a wig, my deepest respect, and if you tell me you’re in shapewear and pantyhose at the same time, I’m going to start doubting you.
And as for clothes, well most GG are wearing clothing that doesn’t require much imagination in those places… I’ve moved to a cold clime and realised that Guys have a phenomenal imagination in these places…. Here’s a sample of the first winter
Other Guy: “Wow she looks great”.
Me: “Who? her?, All I can see is a big fluffy coat, a winter hat and her boots”
Other Guy : “Yeah, she looks hot!”People in the tropics wouldn’t understand that either, but it’s very very real.
Hugs
-Molly
Kate, congrats and good for you.
Being comfortable with who each of is important. When I first began to embrace my own journey, I struggled with balancing my feelings with what percieved was the proper manner to express them. As I ventured further, I realized that my journey needed to be exactly that, my own journey.
For me, that realization included the conclusion that I a man who is proud to be a man and does not desire to be a woman. (I will admit that I do have feelings about having my own breasts.) I am, however, a man who prefers to wear women’s clothes. That being said, presenting publicly as a woman was never felt right to me. I am not a woman. I was doing it for others, not me. Therefore, about a year ago, I said no more.
Today, I dress how I wish to dress. I wear the clothes that fit my mood, are comfortable, and most of all, feel right to me. Whether that is Jean’s, tees, blouses, shirts, dresses, skirts, or shorts, menswear or womenswear, I am being me. And there is little doubt that I am a man.
Lastly, regardless of my choice of dress, I conduct my business as usual. Overall, the experience has been positive. I have been complimented both for my style and courage. What negativity that I have experienced has been minimal, and I choose not to let it define me.
In closing, I say be you for you. Don’t let the views of others shape what that means.
MacKenzie Alexandra
Good for you, Kate. There’s no right way or wrong way to enjoy whatever clothing you prefer. Nobody would get away with telling a genetic girl that she can’t step outside without first applying her war paint and styling her hair, and nobody should tell you the same either. I admire your courage in going out in public, something I doubt I will ever do.
Stephanie,
Sorry, I did take offence from your post but thats only my opinion 🙂 I didn’t say I went out in a dress or skirt and you only assumed I did. I actually had heels, skin tight jeans and a nice top on that did draw dome looks but I don’t think I was out of place. I am not a transgender and if I was I would be on the Transgender Heaven page and not this one so I was a bit offended. I don’t normally post this kind of thing due to the years of worrying of what people think about me, but I did’t think I would get any negatives on this site as I don’t think it was that bad what I did.
Kate
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