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I must say, as a trans/gender fluid/CD human person… I have it all. Loving family, wife who is accoepting but not without limitations, time afforded to dressing alot.
My missing link is knowing that my wife truly doesn’t want to know or understand. I can’t make her read or learn.
I have been talking to her recently and have come to understand some limitations she would like, I can accept that. I understand, she did marry a man and at the time I had purged this part of me before moving along the straight and narrow road. That road always has a hidden curve…
So now I will wear less feminine hings to bed. I will survive that. I will also wear less bras in her presence. But I won’t stop completely. She is fine with all my tops and bottoms so that is nice.
I think I will inquire about joining this site as a full member. More of an outlet so to speak.
Hi Emily, I can totally relate, my wife is the same as yours but also doesn’t accept Trish at all. I would say she tolerates me at best. If and when she does accept Trish it will truly be a milestone. Both my boys (25 and 33) are very accepting. My crossdressing is, as they both said, cool. Thanks for your article.
Love,
Trish
Its fortunate that you can maintain a healthy perspective and accept your wife’s position on these matters.
Understanding is a two way street. And its the onlyway any relationship can survive.
One of my hobbies is shooting. I’m extremely passionate about both hunting and target shooting. But those passions need to be restrained for the health of relationship, (time spent doing so away from family.) The health of the family budget. Equipment and ammo is expensive. And a much as I like my shooting, I don’t wear my hunting gear (and take my equipment)to bed, nor out and about generally speaking.
I apply the same approach to crossdressing.
At first my wife wasn’t really very accepting at all but one of the reasons we’re still together is that she sees me as the whole person and has tried very hard to understand why I do what I do. After all my clumsy attempts at explaining the situation we are still here – 20 years now. She’s not totally accepting (like most) and at the moment we’re at a “don’t ask – don’t tell” period. One of the reasons for coming here is to get tips on how to approach her to be a little more receptive. Baby steps – baby steps.
I have also been taking the “baby steps” approach, Maureen. I’m finding that it works for me, since I am a relative novice and still finding out for myself what this is all about (how far do I want to go with dressing? how do I want to wear my hair? should I get my nails done? etc.), and it as also worked out really well with my wife, who has been accepting so far of everything I have been doing. Some things we’ve talked about explicitly (she gave me advice this morning about how to manage my first visit to the hairdressers, for example, and I’ve talked to her about wearing women’s jeans), and other things not (I have been shaving my legs, which I think she must have seen because I make no effort to cover them up, but it hasn’t been an time of conversation). It might be different for others, who have a long history of dressing to the nines (I do not), but I’ve actually enjoyed the slow-motion exploration of these things. Each new step is like a little revelation, and I get a little bit of joy each time I cross another threshold. Going very slowly is, for me, just a way to savor the experience as it unfolds…
Hi Emily, I’m sorry you’re in a situation where your wife doesn’t understand. Communication is always key and sounds like you have found some common ground. It makes me really appreciate the fact that I have a partner (boyfriend) who fully accepts, supports and encourages me in my CD’ing journey since I have read posts from so many members here whom are not as fortunate in their relationship.
I have come leaps and bounds from where I started with my wife. I should have been upfront before I married her, but one cannot change the past. I can make a few concessions for now, but they wont be permanent, I will keep doing certain things. It has improved with communication for certain. Tonight she said I can use her nail polish, so thats a change.
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