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Where to begin? From the beginning I guess. My dad was very masculine but my mother was a dance teacher. So, for day care I was enrolled in ballet, tap, jazz and gymnastics from the ages 4-10. I was use to dress up and having to wear stage make-up. Being one of only 2 males in our class, I was surrounded by girls. When dad did whatever he did, mom would take me to showers, and girls luncheons. I was always used as a application subject for my mothers Mary Kay demonstrations. You can see where this would lead to an easy desire to crossdress. At 10 years old we moved from the big city to the middle of nowhere Hicksville. My style and mannerisms were considered faggy, sissy and what ever other derogatory name that young kids could come up with. For 2 years I dealt with constant harassment from my classmates all for things I didn’t do or were perceived as different. I repressed my outward sexuality to “man up” but internally I was all over the place. Being an only child, with no friends and being a theater geek left open a huge imagination. My first time dressing was when I found an old change bag my mother had that had leotards and tights that fit me wonderfully. I felt just like the girls I use to dance with, open and free. Later in high school, I found one outfit that my mother owned that actually fit me. It was a tan flower print blouse with shoulder pads, a tan calf high spring time skirt, thigh high stockings, corset with garter straps stuffed with socks to give me a chest, satin panties and she had one pair of heels I could wear. Every chance I got to be home alone for more than 3 hours, I was in that outfit AND I LOVED IT! This was before internet and I had no real way of expanding my desire at that time. Through the years since high school, I never really thought about it except for maybe some small bouts of desire but nothing much. The last few years I became a very unbearable person to be around. I lost my job (due to attitude) and we decided to move 1300 miles, for a change in life after 44 years in one state. I thought it would be a career or business change but I think it might be a different change that I didn’t know I wanted but might be the one I needed. A few weeks ago going through some of our boxes and I found on old teddy in one of my stashes, it kind of fit me so I put it on when I went to bed. Since then I have bought 4 6pk of panties from Walmart and looking at all the TG fashion sites looking at stockings, lingerie and dresses. I hate clothes shopping but I have to urge to want to look at dresses and blouses and figure out what my style is and what my tall athletic body would look good in. As far as my other half, she doesn’t know yet because I don’t know if this is just a fad like all the other times or is this going to really be the start of an unexpected journey. I know a lot of info, for an intro but I have had some feelings stuffed inside that I never had the opportunity to express and a desire that I feel I have to tame back but also want to unleash.
You are welcome. Talking to people helps. I hope you can find some answers.
Michelle, welcome, express yourself with complete confinance. Here our ladies are so understanding and very supportive. Through your story to which I’ve enjoyed reading. I do see much of how you got here to where you are today and yes your journey had started very early and now is blossoming and joining here I know will help you discover your true feelings and what you have always known. Meet with some of our wonderful ladies and enjoy their help and most of all acceptance to make your time here such a wonderful experience. Making friendships is so much fun and know there’s always someone here to talk to and to listen when needed. Happy to meet you and hope to see you sometime here soon. Hugs
Stephanie 🌹
/hugs Stephanie
A few weeks ago I never thought I would be here, and then the urge hit me harder than it has ever hit me before. My emotions were all over the place which is very unusual for me. While looking at clothing sites and found this group. I am not a support group type person, but something said do it. Right away I felt comfortable, at ease, and made the first step and said something about me that no body else knows of. Even behind the anonymity of the internet, I still felt vulnerable but not uncomfortable and my back and shoulders are happy that some of that weight has been lifted. I just want to note that while working on my femme posture actually alleviated some of my back and neck pain, another thing girls are better at 🙂
Welcome Michelle,
I enjoyed your intro very much.
How lucky in many ways you are to have such a wonderful talented Mom.
Hope you find what you are looking for here. It’s a wonderful resource for those of us on this exciting, wonderfully en femme journey. Which at times can seem daunting. The support and encouragement her is outstanding!
Nikki
Good afternoon and welcome..
I live in WRJ. Are you near? Don’t know any other dressers here.
a brave gurl…you found friends here….
welcome
love, Chandra
/hugs Chandra
Hello somewhat close neighbor 🙂 We moved to the Lakes region in Oct. Laconia to be exact. I have to be patient but I can’t wait to start exploring. I don’t even have one outfit to wear because I can’t afford it right now and getting a bunch of boxes when penny pinching leads to unwanted questions at this point and time.
Sounds so familiar. Try amazon for panties. I started at Walmart then went to victoria secret. Vic sec actually has a lot of panties that fit quite nicely. Finally I ordered to pouch sissy pink panties on amazon. I think I’ve ordered almost every one they had in stock. They have a silk pouch for the parts and the rest is lace. Look and feel great. Hugs Jennifer
I like walmart because it is empty when i get off work and I can use the self checkout. I would get some weird looks walking up to the counter with 2 bras, 3 pairs of panties, a babydoll and stockings like I did this morning. I love the confidence that Michelle has that my “other” half never had, he would have walk around the store 40 times just to walk out with nothing. I will start ordering online when I am more finacially sound so I can just say all my packages are for my jewelry hobby that I really want to get started at again. My SO never wears jewelry so I stopped making it when I stopped selling, but now I can make a full set of earrings, bracelets and necklaces for every outfit I own. So much easier to accessories when you are also the craftsman 🙂
/hugs
Thank you for the support Jennifer 🙂
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