Hi Girls….

[Shae Cross]

Hi I am Shae, I’m married with 2 boys, I came out to my wife about 18 months ago and she hates that side of me, I am hopeful that she doesn’t leave me as I should have told her earlier and it has broken some trust boundaries in our relationship of 23 yrs. Things are a little tense around here at the moment with a total ban on all CD activity and counselling which is pretty shitty.  I’m interested to know how some of you dealt with any challenges from spouses etc. and read through them in the forum.

Shae xx

 

[Jas]

I came out to my wife, as transgender in a Aug 2015. With 23 yrs together, we seperated 2 months later, A choice I made to save myself from ending up somewhere I shouldn’t be. I advise you follow your heart and think about whether your choices will bring you happiness. I know its scary to walk away from normal living and think about yourself, but who are denying a life to hold on to something that may ultimately fall apart.  But if you stay together, remember she is a queen and treat her with the upmost respect for loving you.

[Rebecca Smith]

Hi Shae, welcome to CDH! This is a very accepting place with lots of support. Sorry to hear how rough it’s going right now.

 

My 1st marriage had a couple of rough spots where my wife found my girl things and freaked out. I tried the counseling and stopped for awhile but it definitely sucked and part of me was missing. Short story we divorced because she cheated on me.

 

Now I have a supportive fiance after having dated two other women, one supportive, one that wasn’t, and life is good. We have two teenagers in the house, so I am careful when I let Becky loose.

 

In hindsight, I’d like to have tried to work on my ex wife to try and explain things more. She was pretty fundamentalist and not open to things outside of the “norm”, but I should have tried harder there. Ultimately I’m a happier, more balanced person now and recognize how miserable I used to be when I was repressing myself.

 

[Anonymous]

Shae some wives cannot accept our crossdressing but many can and support us. Sometimes the difference is time, honest and open communication and love.

We have a group here specifically for wives and other partners where they can talk to others in their position. The group is not open to crossdresser members so they can feel free to express any views, thoughts or ideas they have.

Don’t give up. As hard as the conversations can be, be willing to talk to your wife and see if you can establish her reasons for her opposition. Then you can look to seeing if you can address those concerns to her satisfaction.

Best wishes.

[Jeri S]

Hi Shae,

My story is quite similar to yours.  She has found a couple of things over the past few years but I finally sat down with her a few weeks back.  It is difficult for our wives to grasp that the man they have loved and cared for may not be the man that they thought they were.  There is so much unknown about us.  The portrait that they have is of the drag queen prostitute because that is what society has told us that is what a crossdresser is.  So now they feel deceived.  So if we decide to share we have to be educated, patient, and open.  If you want to regain that trust, we have to determine how much we are willing to invest.  You find a wealth of information and experience here but inn the end you will have to find what works for you and your beloved.  Best of luck.

[Shae Cross]

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support, I am glad that I joined the site and have met people similar to myself, it’s pretty lonely out there when you are on your own and you can not talk to anyone about your secret or get feedback from others and you can feel really isolated at times, especially if people close to you are hostile towards your truth, it can cut you to the core. We have some challenging times ahead, so we’ll take it one day at a time.

 

[Rose]

Hi Shae, and welcome to CDH. it’s really nice to meet you. I’m so sorry to hear about your troubles. I would like to kindly suggest that you find a way to get back into counseling. I can understand how and why your wife feels threatened by the situation, for sure. But denying you access to a doctor isn’t really the answer. Also, as others have said, honesty from here on out will be your best policy. So if she asks you a question, you need to be truthful – even if that truth hurts you to admit out loud.

*HUG*

Hang in there, and know that you’re among friends here.

[Anonymous]

Hi Sharon and welcome to CDH.

 

Rachel

[Anonymous]

Shae,

Very sorry to hear what you’re going through.   You will find a very supportive community in CDH. No judgement here.

Kim

[Author]

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