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Hello and welcome Kate,
As Veronica said “you are a dream come true” for one of us😁! A romantic relaxing evening might put her into a mood where she would share herself and dressing with you. I am just wondering if you have bought anything for her yet? A nice chemise or nightie might be nice. If she has a natural breast if the garment fit without the need for breastforms feels great to sleep in. Maybe play a game to get her to open up and dress up for you. Something like reverse strip poker. Sounds silly but if she gets relaxed and puts on clothing or lingerie to play the game maybe……you never know. Just a couple of suggestions. Is she a member of CDH yet? Chatting with some of the ladies might help too. Anyway I hope one of us gives you an idea which works for you two. Good luck dear, hugs and again welcome. TTFN💋👠
Danielle
I’ve spent a small fortune on us both at Victoria’s Secret, have put lipstick on her by kissing it on, yet even though we talk about “Melanie” daily he feels stressed about letting me be a part. My SO is aware that I dated another CDer back in the 90s and had no issue with it(minus some of the hard core BDSM stuff). We are FAR from a prude couple, I guess I’d have thought the initial telling me would have been the hardest part, but it seems not… I’m patient and not at all trying to force him to dress for me, however he is a sub and maybe that’s what he’s hoping I do. We shall see! Thank you!
Hi again Kate,
So she is a sub….well maybe you should tell her you want to play a game with you as the dom. If nothing else you both will have a fun time😉!
Danielle
<p style=”text-align: center;”>We actually just had a little chat(mainly how he obsessed over my bras I leave hanging to dry) and I looked at him and said help yourself! So I’m getting the feeling he’d prefer to transform into Melanie in my clothing… whatever… let’s just cross this bridge so that our relationship keeps getting better! 😊 plus, if she stretches out my $20 panties that means I get new ones! Lol</p>
My SO forbids me to share her clothing which is probably pretty common to most of the girls. Maybe a “girls” shopping date to purchase him some of his own longerie would be fun and give him a reason to dress in front of you.
Hi Kate!
Might I suggest that he visits here and sees that a lot of supporters could help him open up here.
My wife is a huge supporter of my CD and we have the best relationship ever. We absolutely love our girls nights!
Take care
Sasha
Hi Kate,
Guessing your crossdresser has regrets he may NOT look too good as he hesitates taking advantage of your kind support. Recommend you go with him to a professional crossdresser makeover salon and the both of you can see what is the best they can do to make him look like a passable woman. That will give him the confidence that he will not be making a fool out of himself and let him know if at that point you have any misgivings. A starting point for both of you so to speak of where things could go. It is one thing to have the urge to crossdress but it is another thing to have the confidence to do it with you…I would probably feel the same way to a degree.
Welcome To CDH.
Drop Kayla or Trisha a message in the signifiicant others section. They may be able to point you in the right direction.
Welcome to you both
Sarah D
Hi awesome woman! Let me first express my undying gratefulness of your awesome support.
I was kind of the same way when I started with my wife. Would not hesitate in secret but felt I had to be macho man randy savage in front of my wife. She bought me things and still does. Mainly what it was for me to brake down was make up. I absolutely loved make up and was secretly watching guru vids for like 2 years.
The first time I saw her was when my wife said just sit back and let me do your make up.
But if they don’t want to do that
a good ice breaker is black nail polish, mascara and eyeliner girl. Those three together will help him break down the wall.
I remember she painted my thumb only. Bought clothes for me A week later I tried them on and then told her I liked them. She kept on. And well you can see my pics for the result. We all start somewhere. Tell them it’s ok and you’re not going anywhere. Now zah wife loves it because our sex life has never been this good. She calls me her wife! Hope it works out. Sorry for poor grammar.
❤️
P
Thank you Persephone! Going to try polish on his toes tonight. He knows I’m not going anywhere. The conversation we had when he told me was ok, 1st, do you want to be a woman aka transition? The answer was NO! 2nd was do you want to be with men, again a huge NO! My first CDing boyfriend in fact lied to me and is now a woman who dates men, so I had to be sure of all this. Again, we are far from a “vanilla” couple and we have great communication. I have a few things being delivered today for her, she’s a huge fan of sheer, lacy, tactile undergarments. 😊 also got a bottle of Pinot Noir, let’s turn this Monday into a party!!! 🤣❤️
Kate, welcome happy to have you with us. As many of the girls have already mentioned. We’re here to help and support you and your partner. She is a very lucky girl to have such a understanding wife and accepts ythis. As you have said about your guy not being able to dress in front of you. I’ve heard that many times before and also myself. I still do in ways. For me it’s a bit of an embarrassment . I try to sense what she thinking about, is she content with me or secretly holding back that it’s not something she really doesn’t accept. I’m no where near passable as no makeup has been done. . YET! ! little help is offered as she knows moving on to more will just take time on my part. Maybe it’s like what was mentioned and I’ve thought of how terrible we actually look and it scares not just me but her. One thing she had mentioned is not wanting to go out with me (when that time comes ) so yes appearances are a good reason for not being comfortable to show of ourselves. Maybe in time with confidence we can be more at ease share our dressing with our spouses. It’s getting better for me I’m still nervous about my wife’s thoughts on my dressing and probably always will. As Sarah has mentioned we have a wonderful group (wives and significant others )I know you’ll be interested in and kayla and Trisha are there to welcome you in their fold . Your a remarkable woman for your support for him and girl you are a dream for many here. Happy to meet you and please enjoy your time with us all. Stephanie 🌹
Hi Kate! Awesome you support your fiance. I felt awkward dressing in front of my SO because I felt embarresed trying to appear fem. Over time she has offered so much advice about how to act and appear feminine that now we are more like girlfriends. At home I am Allyson 24/7 but she doesn’t want me to go outside the home dressed. We do have our nails and eyebrows done together. I am very blessed but it took a lot of time and talking for me to be able to dress with her. Good luck, hug Ally
I agree as well, You, Kate are a CD’ers dream lady! he is one lucky man (lady) to have such a supportive and interactive dressing partner that actually encourages her to dress. We are all envious of her!
I SO appreciate all your compliments!!! I’m just me doing what I want(and yes, I do want all of this!!!). He makes life so good for me and I want to do the same. I do believe that tonight may *possibly* be the night, and least for lingerie… our toy order came in early, alone with a nice stretchy lace chemise for her. 😊 the kids will DEFINITELY be in bed early tonight!!! Lol
Love and hugs to you all for your words of encouragement!!!
I think it is so wonderful, that you are so supportive. I certainly agree with my sisters here at CDH, maybe introduce her to our site. Encourage her to get a pedicure, going together, may make it easier. I go on a regular basis, dressed as a man, sometimes I get French tips, and leave the salon wearing flip flops, and I live in Texas. Best of luck, hugs and kisses Rochelle.
[quote quote=112807]I SO appreciate all your compliments!!! I’m just me doing what I want(and yes, I do want all of this!!!). He makes life so good for me and I want to do the same. I do believe that tonight may *possibly* be the night, and least for lingerie… our toy order came in early, alone with a nice stretchy lace chemise for her. 😊 the kids will DEFINITELY be in bed early tonight!!! Lol
Love and hugs to you all for your words of encouragement!!!
[/quote]
I am so excited for you Kate. The chemise for me made me feel more at ease in front of my wife. She was so excited to see me in it I don’t know who wanted it more her or me, lol! have a great evening Kate! TTFNDanielle
I charged the clippers, he’s going to shave! I’m crazy excited!!! Y’all, this is way more than a sexual post, it’s a progress post… I can’t imagine not feeling comfortable with those I love and trust… he’s trusting me to finally see a bit of Melanie and I’m beyond happy! I’m going to really miss the heat hair, but he assured me I’ll have it again..
No sweety just some tech difficulties. Keep us updated ❤️❤️
P
[quote quote=112887]Danielle, totally thought your post was about me. 😂 PMS is a B! I was like wait, does she think I’m a robot or poser or something?!?! Thank you for clearing it up Persephone!
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No worries Kate! I’m not sure what happened but I am so happy for you! For my wife and I just the simple act of her buying me the chemise really broke the ice. She had purchased panties for me prior but the chemise is different, it was truly a beautiful gesture on her part. Since then she bought us matching nighties and even a LBD for me. It makes a relationship much closer and the romance steamier. Have fun Kate. TTFN💋👠Danielle
HI Kate,
Ill give the same advice I give to CDs whove just opened up to their SO.
Give them time. Baby steps. For years we have had this terrible thing hidden and when we finally let it out its part relief and terror. You now have access to the sort of secret that can ruin our lives. He must really think you are special to share that. Not wanting to dress in front of you may be partly to protect you from seeing your man gone and someone less so in their place. So this may be a protection mechanism for him and you. Just be casual.
Maybe let him under dress and if he does just say nothing, let it go and let it be normal. Maybe purchase a few simple things as acknowledgement but not go nuts. A t shirt bra and panties maybe…its simple and also accepting.
Just stay as you are and be normal. go shopping and do the things you used to do.
And dont be anything but yourself either. Dont change you. You are the person he loves so dont go changing to what you think he needs. He has that already.
Hugs,
Sarah.
Well said Sarah . I almost came out to my Ex but always chickened out. Damn glad I didn’t Giving someone the power to ruin your life is brave or stupid. I agree 100% with you on advise. I would be absolutely terrified giving anyone that power.
Mikayla
Your fiancé is lucky to have you. My wife doesn’t wish to associate with my female persona. I wish she would. We could have so much fun being gal pals on occasion!
Hi Kate. Firstly, Bless You for your support and open mind! A suggestion would be to have him exchange e-mails with you using his femme name, letting his femme personality come through, talking about girls things, like “did you see that dress?” “That shade of blue looks sooo sexy on you!” then graduating to sending pictures of himself if only part photo, like his legs in stockings, or maybe of his hand with nails done up. Also talking on the phone …girl to girl would help. Small things to get him used to having you see him. I’d like my SO to see me simply as Karley…..and not her man in a dress playing as Karley. Hope this helps. …………………..Karley
Your love is incredibly lucky to have your support. I’m sure you’re aware of the many positive reports of couples who come to value the experience. I have no experience like that to offer you, but I know that a companion on the journey can be invaluable. Thank God human beings have male and female aspects. I envy couples who make the journey together.
If your companion is shy, would it help if you pointed to advice on practical things like clothes and makeup and encouraged him to prepare for a kind of coming out party at home? Serve your favorite fizzy beverage!
Melissa
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