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I am Rebecca May.I am relatively new to this world.I am shy,quiet and reserved.I try not to stand out too much because I never felt like I was ever A part of A community or group.Those feelings will not likely go away any time soon,but I do try to get out of my comfort zone.
I discovered that I wanted to crossdress by looking at ‘erotica’ (don’t want to get too vulgar,but you can read between the lines on that one).However,the temporary sexual thrill was replaced by something else unexpected.I started fantasizing about Dresses.Not in A sexual way,but in A way in which I wanted to feel and identify as A feminine soul.
To wear Dresses,feel pretty and overall have positive interactions with others in A similar situation as myself.As for my life,I always hated myself,not me being Male,but for the way I am inside.I get depressed,I hate my outside apprearence as I believe I am A ugly and overall unattractive person.I never was in A romantic relationship (despite my best efforts).My sexual relationships I feel in retrospect were one sided and those people involved besides myself.I felt no respect nor love not even friendship.This damaged me.
So,now I’m in A weird position-I want to pursue A life as A Woman,but due to my living situation I cannot fully express myself.I have no control of my own finances and although I love my parents with all my heart and soul I am stuck living with them at the moment.I do have A few pieces of Women’s Clothing,but I wear them late at night and since I have no experience with Women’s Clothing they are way too small and ill fitting.
However,the brief moments I do wear them I feel A sense of pure joy.I make up scenarios in my head where I am greeted as my Fem name with my fem clothing and am truly accepted one hundred percent unconditionally.Not for lust or anything superficial like that and I have to clarify there’s nothing wrong with sexual stuff or lust per say,but to know I am part of something deeper and greater is A moment I hope to one day achieve hopefully.
My main term goals is to gather some clothing that fits and aren’t thrift store clothing made for older women.To perhaps gather some makeup and practice and meet others who will encourage my pursuits in A positive manner.To stop feeling bad for myself and garner strength to further my feminine pursuits to their Apex and ultimately become A person people will grow fond of and therefore feel more complete.
I hope this is An eloquent introduction,I hope I did not alienate myself here and I hope to get to know you all better in the future.
-Thank you.
RebeccaMay, welcome to CDH and thank you for sharing that story. you certainly did not(!) Alienate yourself, quite the opposite. Many here share similar stories you are not alone! I hope you will be able to increase your comfort zone and enjoy everything and everyone here. So many girls here ready to share and share in your stories too! Please, never feel uncomfortable in your new home here. I applaud you on the step you took joining us and look forward to sharing stories with you!
Stevie
Hi Rebeccamay Nice meeting you and glad you joined us girls here . And I am usually asking girls to rite a good intro page and profile but you hit that one out of the park and you don’t have to worry about being shy or quiet around here we love for you to speak out . Theirs so much to see and do here just explore and relax you are among many girl friends here from all over the world . You can kick your heels off and have fun and when you are comfortable with us join in on the forums and posts because theirs nothing to be scared of we really don’t bite well maybe a few girls do (he he ) naw just kidding . You have come to a place you can call home and make many girlfriends here to chat with and ask questions of for help about any thing you have concerns about your profile page theirs a personal message button use it if you need it we will answer you back ask for friendships like I said don’t be afraid . And like I said nice meeting you and hope to see you around for a talk sometime .
Stephanie Bass
Hello Rebecca May, glad you found us here. There are so many other girls here, and they run a wide spectrum, but we are all the same on one level that is our passion for wearing women’s clothes.
It takes some time for us to find our way, many are still on that journey. You will find good company here, and there are many friends to be made.
Amy
Hey Rebecca May, welcome to CDH. As others have said, yours is a far from uncommon experience. My own dressing was until very recently largely fetish driven (accompanied by waves of guilt shame and fear) and it’s only in the past couple of months that I’ve become more comfortable with who/what I am.
i hope you find this wonderful place as helpful and friendly as I have, and that you can find space and time to explore your true self.
dm me anytime
Seraphina xx
Hi RebeccaMay, Teralynn here. Welcome to our wonderful online community Luv. Thanks for sharing your story with us. It was eloquent, elaborate, descriptive and in a way heartbreaking! In your pursuit of your dreams you absolutely must get out of your parents house as soon as possible and get your own place. When you can achieve that goal it will open up all sorts of wonderful opportunities for you to work on developing your feminine persona as much as you want. The fact that you hated your outside appearance and have a desire to develop a more attractive feminine appearance tells me that you have some cell memory problems going on. Perhaps your male appearance isn’t as ugly as you think, but compared to an attractive female appearance you may have had in another life your current physical appearance can’t compete at all. But hey Luv that is where crossdressing can really make a difference. With the proper clothing and a little help in the makeup department you can turn an unattractive man (which you think you are) into a much more attractive looking feminine persona. Which by the way should help in fighting your depression. Going through life not feeling good about yourself is no way to live. Your sisters here can help you in your crossdressing journey, but you need to reach out to us. Stay active on the site! Get to know some of our terrific members. Ask questions! Seek tips and advice. Most importantly, make a few friends. If you see some people on here that you think would make a good friend, don’t be shy, go to their home page and do a friend request. The girls here are really friendly and a lot of them are very knowledgeable. If I can ever be of service please feel free to contact me through this site and let me know how I can help. A post on my home profile page wall will get the fastest response. – Blessings
RebeccaMay
I enjoyed reading your intro and as you will find out here there’s many very similar wirh their own experiences. Never be shy and afraid to be yourself and know there’s many here to comfort and support you. So relax and be natural to your desires that are deeper. Stopping feeling bad about yourself and now rejoice your true calling and know were here for help advice and support to make this journey of yours most fulfilling. Very nice meeting you…
Stephanie 🌹
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