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Sandy, I don’t want to be insensitive but I would tell your SO “carefully” at first my wife was accepting but changed her mind when Leonara “crossed the line” with forms…my wife believes Leonara made choices which my SO doesn’t understand however Leonara has needs which my SO doesn’t understand .. we have 47 years .. we are trying to work it out … just something to think about.. “honesty is the best policy”
Hi Sandy, personally, I would take it slow and steady, don’t hit her with clothes lying around or pictures or you sat there waiting for her in a dress. It will be a big enough shock for her without seeing anything. You have had 40 years of planning/wanting this moment, she has had 40 years of you being ‘all man’ so to speak. And it will raise all sorts of questions and feelings for her. I would say make sure you are fully prepared for any eventuality. The outcome may not be what you want/expect. Sit her down and talk to her about it as a man, give her plenty of time to process your revelations before moving on to next stages. If she doesn’t want to know, you could lose her. If she accepts it then great but still take it slow. Set ground rules/limits that work for her, in time she may come round to it or vice versa.
I obviously don’t know your SO, or you so I can’t tell how she may react, you are the best judge there!
i dressed before I met my wife, stopped when I met her and kept it all hidden away, from her and myself. We separated fairly recently due to issues brought up by my hiding. In some ways it was the best thing because it allowed me to explore Rachel and as a result become a better person. My wife found out when my phone uploaded some photos of Rachel to her computer. I had been trying to find a way to tell her but things were strained and it was very difficult to try and open up about it. Thankfully since then in some ways it has bought us closer, she sort of accepts but doesn’t want to be involved although we can talk about aspects of my dressing if she is willing.
all I can say is be prepared, take it slow and be careful.
all the best, keep me posted!
rach xx
I pretty much agree with Rachel’s assessment, take it slow, and be ready for ANY outcome! My SO doesn’t know, she is more likely to find out by accident than any other way, because of the fact that I am not yet prepared for the worst possible outcome! She’s fairly open minded about things like this, but it’s different when it’s someone close to you.
This will probably be one of the most difficult things you will do. Married for so long is wonderful and and relationship to last this long involves a strong bond and trust. I too am nearing this, 40 years coming early next year . Like all up and down through our years but trust keep us strong and together. But this is quite dramatic and ground breaking in any relationship. I keep this secret for many years and over the last while the urges got over powering and my dressing started so I knew telling her had to be done or get caught. After all she married you and for years expected him there. Like mentioned by our girls here to bring this talk in a easy, settling way. Secrets in a marriage is a big time trouble as again that word trust so important. Her concerns will be based on this .questions like why didn’t you tell me earlier, are you still interested in me or exploring other things. And the anger for her confusions , who are you now and are you still hers or are someone else. I went through all this and after many talks and her being assured I’m still her man and this is only a escape of everyday life. Her setting guidelines and her being totally involved in my moving forward. Her acceptance did slowly start to show but cautiously and now I’m enjoying my dressing and she’s showing some interest but knowing she still coping and trying to understand this. You and only you know your strength in your relationship and and remember she’s going to be under so much pressure and as I say it must be released slowly. Be truthful and honest, answer her questions with heart, she needs total honestly. Only you know her so feel your self through this. And give her time to think all this out, it may take time. For my wife after several days of talks things got very quiet for weeks then she came back to me started talking again and then progress started . Much more could be said but only you know and again that word TRUST the heart of any marriage. Best to you and hope you have that support found at home and a spouse by your side while you explore your journey ahead. 🌹
Oh, I wish there was an easy answer to your question, but there is none. All I can say is that you know your wife better then we do. If you believe she can accept, talk to her first about your need. Don’t try and shock her by confronting her wearing a dress and makeup. If you feel that you really have to get this out in the open with her, you must still talk to her first. I wish you well in your decision, darling.
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