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i had been wanting to tell my best friend, who is a woman, that i crossdress for several weeks now. we have known each other for more than 25 years. my plan was to wear nail polish and have her ask me why are you wearing nail polish? worked like a charm. She asked me word for word, my answer was because i couldn’t find my nail polish remover. we chuckled, she then said so where are your dresses, i replied , right here in this closet. would you like to see. i spent the next 10 minutes picking her jaw up off the floor. then all the questions why , how long, and so forth. my quick response was i notice your wearing jeans and a flannel shirt, why, are those not mens clothes your wearing. why do you wear mens clothes? she said because there comfortable, A HA the same reason i wear womens clothes, they are comfortable. i asked her if she would like to see my photo album, she said she wasn’t ready yet and could not wrap her head around this. my question to you girls out there is what are my next steps, how should i approach her, do i act as if nothing happened. i need advice, please help
Giver her some time to think about it. We have spent a lot of time thinking and dealing with global cultural issues to evolve to where we are. Sometimes they need a chance to catch up to advanced forward thinking people. She will catch up in time; out of curiosity if nothing else.
just felt the need for her to know. we are very close and honest with each other. may be its the fact that i have to be secret with everyone i love, feels like im lying to all my family
Hi Jessica. Wow, your story sounds awfully familiar. I went through the same thing with an old friend ( ex-SO ) not long ago. I just bloody well came out and told her after some hunting. Overall she took it rather well, saying she had gained a new girlfriend. Lol. She comfortable chatting about it, but not to the point of seeing me all dressed, or even going out shopping, but I realize that’s OK! I have to remind myself I have been preparing and wanting to come out for many years. I’ve thought about it, but it’s all new to her!!! Now it’s time to let it sink in with her. Remember, it’s taken us forever to come out or accept ourselves, they deserve some time to digest it all too! Let her set the pace too.
I just wish I had the patience for patience. 😊
– it is fun though, isn’t it? 😁
Stevie
Jessica
I would say give her some space mentally and physically to as she said, “wrap her head around it!” Sounds like she might feel a little emotionally…mmm…ambushed?
In a way act as though nothing happened. Go about your normal business and let her come back to you. Don’t act any different. Let her come back to you with questions. Set a time for yourself to check in and see how she’s doing.
You have nothing to be ashamed of or hide. Stand tall, confident and proud of who you are.
Best wishes
xo – Robyn 🤗❤️
I agree with all the thoughts shared already. Give her time to process this BIG news. She will have questions and if she’s as good a friend as she believe she is, she will ask them in her time. Be honest and as clear as possible in your answers. The good news is, she knows! Let her set the pace of getting to know the real you.
Hugs
sounds like there might be some physical attraction there. maybe you want to be accepted as you are to see if she is really girlfriend material. best friends usually make best girlfriends. either way hope it works out for you.
A GG not wanting to see a picture of a male friend dressed as a girl,To be honest this is a strange way for a GG friend to respond unless there thinking of you as more than just friends, or posable your friendship is based on some kind of male bonding.
That said now you have the waiting game its very easy for you now to be all excited expecting great things and want them to happen overnight. For whatever reason your friend has to be hesitant and needing time to adjust it seems the ball is in her cort, If she decides now we can have fun doing this that or the other grate, but if she doesn’t and you paw at the subject like a lost puppy or expect to much out of this you could drive her away.
Who knows this could well end up as a fun part of your friendship but try for now to see this simple fact of growth, you have confided in a friend about a huge part of you, a feeling you have hidden away most of your life, this is a huge step and in itself liberating, and to be honest give your friend time and she should see this
Unfortunately there is no telling this may or may not lead to a fun girly friendship we know you are hoping for only time will tell
I had been dressing a couple of years and going out and partying often when I met my wife. A couple of weeks later she surprised me showing up at my place. She was not happy noticing women’s clothes lying about. I decided to come clean. I told her the clothes were mine. I enjoyed wearing them for fun and for going out to parties. I know it doesn’t make much sense and sounds silly but I enjoy it. She seemed suspicious and asked me to show her.
I went in the bedroom and put on one of my favorite and sexiest outfits, with hair, makeup and everything. When I walked out she was stunned. She could not believe how pretty and sexy I was. She also was stunned I looked so different. Not at all like me. I dressed often when she was around and we began going out together as girl friends. Coming out to her went very well for me.
I have met other CD’s over the years who did not have the same positive reaction. In fact most times it seems to have ended relationships. In a few cases, the dressing was tolerated but not encouraged or supported, and in fewer cases still, was embraced, enjoyed and added a new and fun aspect to the relationship. So you really never know for sure how it may turn out. Of course we all hope it will go very well.
I agree with what has been said above. Curious as to why you felt the need to share with her? Are you interested in her or do you just want to “normalize” your dressing and reduce the guilt/shame we all feel?
I would give her some time and space to see if she brings it up again or wants to discuss further with you. Prepare for the worst…hope for the best outcome. Keep us posted
Hi
Im also going through a similar feeling that I need to tell my mom somehow as I feel I’m lying to her. Again
My SO suffers me a bit and has said why don’t I tell my family if I’m that sure they are supportive
My mom has asked me to take her shopping for Xmas gifts
I have been crucifying myself about what to wear.
Do I go in a girly top and paint my nails? Mascara? Or even go looking at the women’s section for a new outfit or even looking for the new ankle boots I so want and buy them in her company?
The thoughts are both exhilarating yet terrifying and I’m no further along in my thoughts about what or how
i feel I need to and it’s only because of reading all the stories on this site about being true to yourself
But. It’s a big but
what happens next??
Rejection? Acceptance? More shame and guilt that I’ve offloaded onto my 76 year old mom?
So she is my mom not a friend and there is no hiding from her. Or not seeing her.
oh the struggles we go through when we don’t conform to the norm
I must say, that was really cleverly-handled. Play-for-play. I only just discovered this post now, and it’s probably already concluded itself. However, I wouldn’t push the issue with anyone. I would wait, say nothing and see if the situation arises again during a next meet or in conversation…
I hope it all works out!
hi girl, i will not push her, just be normal, keep treat her as usual without pressure for her answer, hugs a lot
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