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Big news girls, it’s official, the doctor says, “Lauren, you are a woman!”
I always knew that from an early age long ago, and have been living and working as a woman for over a year, but something happened to me last week that has changed my life. I started noticing that my pee was cloudy, but figured it would clear itself up, but the urge to pee had increased to every half hour. Then, on Wednesday at work, when I went to flush, there was a lot of blood in my pee! I got a ride to the emergency room at our local hospital and was checked in. Blood test, urine test, blood pressure, three different nurses asking a lot of questions and, after four hours in the waiting room, I was ushered into a cubicle, where I waited for another half hour. Instead of one of the male doctors who were diagnosing the people nearby, in walked a lady doctor who sat down and introduced herself. She had been looking at my medical records and knew I was transgender, my medical card says female and that is how I was presenting at the hospital.
She proceeded to ask me a lot of questions, she already expected some of the answers, based on my medical records. She asked if any of my previous doctors had ever mentioned anything about intersexuality. I told her no, but always wondered after a physical exam what it meant when they scratched their heads and said, “Hmmmm”. I would ask and was always told it wasn’t important.
I have always had my mother’s facial features, feet and hands. When puberty hit I developed A-cup boobs, very little body hair, large hips, thighs and bum, and my voice never got that deep. These physical attributes along with tiny private parts were a constant source of embarrassment when in PE classes. I used to hate and avoided going swimming and if I had to, always wore a t-shirt to hide my boobs.
The wonderful lady doctor told me I had a very small urethra, and had developed a case of something that is very common in women, a urinary tract infection. She asked if I was sexually active and I said no. She said “…you have what is referred to as micro penis”, and probably because of it being in contact with drips of pee in my panties I had developed a UTI. She asked if anyone had ever suggested I was intersex? I answered no, but had already told her I knew I was transgender from my youth. She said a micro penis is one of the attributes of being intersex, and that, along with my feminine physical attributes, I was definitely intersex. She gave me a big smile and said to me, “Lauren, you are a woman!”
She is going to forward the examination report to my family physician and have him refer me to an indocrinologist as she thinks I would benefit from HRT, they’ve made a lot of changes and there are new types that don’t cause blood clots.
I told her I’m writing a book about my journey, and it would now have a chapter about my visit with her. She wants to have a copy of the book when it comes out.
After all the years of my life so far, knowing in the depths of my heart who and what I am, to have a doctor finally tell me what I always knew, was so wonderful. YOU ARE A WOMAN!
Big hugs girls, really big hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
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