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There has been a lot of passionate posts on here lately about how we wish to be perceived by others, and indeed how we identify ourselves as females. We find many people seem to think that we are, or must be gay because of what we enjoy doing, be it crossdressing or even the Trans communities,when in fact many of us are actively straight sexually. My question is this do you think that by being under the umbrella of the LGBT +community we lose the advantage of recognition we crave to have in the wider local communities because we are instantly perceived as being gay, by the very people who’s perceptions we are trying to change. What’s you thoughts?.
Not sure about this one. I think as far as the LGBTQ+ issue goes, our situation seems to be the most taboo, often generating conflict among the LGBTQ as well as traditional society itself. I remember years ago I thought I could find refuge in the LGBTQ community but I found acceptance varied dramatically. I doubt general acceptance will ever occur to a point where being a cd or trans will be a non-issue.
I think that LGBTQ+ etc labels carry some baggage (baggage labels! Ha!) – the assumption by the general public would be that a CD is either gay or trans. As Danielle says, acceptance by the LGBT crowd can also be problematical – “just another transvestite” etc.
It would be nice to be recognised for what we are, but I don’t think it’ll happen soon. Was it Blanchard who said CD’s must either be gay or fetishists? That’s what most people think.
Meanwhile, life goes on.
Connie
xxx
For me, I think the benefit of at least some support and acceptance from the LGBTQ+ community outweighs the alternative. I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m gay, or straight. The trans umbrella is a safety net for crossdressers. If we weren’t seen as part of that community, then I think the cis, straight, conservative community would look at us as insignificant freaks (forgive my harsh, blunt language), who need to be crushed. By being included with LGBTQ+, we benefit from the legal protections that others have been fighting for, for decades.
When I first started coming to terms with my own crossdressing and desires, I absolutely did NOT consider myself LGBTQ+. But, then when I came out to one of my kids, I explained that there is a feminine part of me, and I like to express it and dress sometimes. Their reaction took me by surprise. They just casually said, “Oh, so you’re non-binary. Ok.” And ever since that moment, I’ve considered myself part of the club, so to speak.
Birel
I used to be pretty horrified when someone called me gay, in my case as a kid, it was always used as a weapon. I let it be used as a weapon because that was considered normal at the time. Terrible. Eventually I figured it out though. I couldn’t care less now, at least emotionally. Technically it’s not correct to call me gay, so I’ll argue my point from that perspective only these days.
Though I guess if I consider myself a trans woman then perhaps I am gay. Perhaps it’s just best to say I’m attracted to the feminine however I’m presenting.
— Abbie 🥰
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The thing is, Connie, is that many of our friends here, are already self-professed as part of LGBTQIA+, particularly, trans. So CDing , has something to do with their identities.
Those who declare that they just like wearing women’s clothes, but have no desire to be a woman are perhaps the only ones not “on the spectrum.”
Is being “not on the spectrum” important?
Many people would say that a man that wants to wear women’s clothes is very much on the spectrum. I’m one of them. I hope that didn’t ruin your day.
Hmm…
The LGBTQA+n umbrella is a pretty impressive lobby group, especially when they’ve pushed governments to include “gender-expression” and “gender-identity” in their Human Rights Codes. (I’ll have a new post about this soon…).
Even the NFL and NHL are jumping on LGBTQA+ band wagon. I’m actually impressed with the NFL especially when they’ve rallied behind an openly gay player (I think he plays for the Las Vegas Raiders?). They just gotta figure out how to bring back Colin Kaepernick with grace and dignity.
⛱ Barb
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Hi Barb. Agreed. It appears the NFL views kneeling during the national anthem as worse than being LBGTQ+… go figure. I think maybe they see it that way because there is money to be made with the LBGTO+ community but not with protesters. Corp America is all about MONEY!
Hi Amanda When I first started going out back in my teens. It was the gay community that was the most welcoming for me. I have developed so many gay friends over the years. Most are very loving and caring individuals who only want to be left alone. If anyone truly understands what its like to feel different or out of place it is our gay community. I am truly happy for them for all they achieved The gay community has worked so hard to be accepted The violence and made to feel less than was so pervasive .I truly admire their tenacity and strength just to hold the line while being attacked from all sides of the political spectrum. If you believe cross dressers should attempt to go out on their own and try to get the acceptance as the gays have done. I believe that would be a huge mistake. We as a community are made of many gay people who deal with the same issues as any cross dresser. Less we forget most gay men like men and man like forms. Their are not interested or attracted to those who desire to present themselves in the female form. I do agree Cross dressing is still not understood by most including our SOs. There is umbrella that has been created that accepts everyone that feels a little different than what societies rules are trying desperately to maintain. The internet has allowed us to come out to communicate and bring comfort that we are not alone and we stand together. Our sexual preference is no ones business but our own. I would suggest staying under the LGBTQ+ umbrella and maybe we can add a CD to the soup of letters one day
Luv Stephanie
Hi Amanda…
It’s a minefield I didn’t want to comment on really…but I do have a question…..
If we are all grouped into this ever growing ” aphabetti spaghetti ” label…..what the hell are the people who are not included called????………for heaven’s sake, don’t anyone dare say ” normal “!!
I have no idea…..
The only label I will accept is being called grace…..
right, it’s lunchtime so I’m nipping out for a BLT….
grace xx
Someday, we’ll all just be “people” I hope. Regardless of presentation, orientation, wealth, birth location or skin colour.
— Abbie 🥰
Hi Grace,
Normal……. ly I would wind you up, but I not going to tempt fate while your hungry,
Amanda xx
I believe that the real issue is the mistaken belief that CDs are all Drag Queens, a group which is overwhelmingly gay AND in the public eye. Most of us are neither, but those of us who go out in public pass (at least casually), so we stay under the radar.
Hugs,
LuluThis is an important point. My wife started wanting to watch Drag Race with me since I came out to her as transgender. I’m very careful to point out that although entertaining, Drag isn’t my bag. I want to look like a regular woman, I’m not trying to put on a show.
— Abbie 🥰
Hey Team,
Accepting the relative normalcy of my CD propensities has helped me to understand and welcome the broadly diverse aspects of human sexuality and gender expression. I wrote recently, in a reply on another subject, that my androgynous presentation (most frequent) is overlooked, tolerated, or accepted, often because I’m assumed to be gay. I’m not gay, but who am I to reject or look down on any group of people or person who has also faced discrimination from the thought, fashion, and behavior police? Those who identify as homosexual have garnered acceptance because they have escaped the stereotypes of either helpless victims or manipulative predators. The array of talented competent gays has overwhelmed a society who had rejected them as insignificant and abnormal. That said, if the same society could see who we (CDs) are, our skills and abilities, and the enormous array of contributions and accomplishments, we might find acceptance as well. But for now, if I’m regarded favorably because they think I’m gay rather than disregarded cause I’m a “tranny,” I’m OK with that.
FAM
Hi FAM,
That’s an interesting take. I sometimes wonder if I get an easier ride with my not exactly manly appearance because folk think I’m gay, or in my case excused because I come across to them as an old hippy. And yes, if such confusion allows me to express my appearance more comfortably, well, so be it 😉
Marti xxx
Hi Marti,
You are probably correct; gays have legal protection and political clout, which is absent in the case of “vanilla” CDs and socially Trans girls like myself.
Hugs,
Lulu
Hi Amanda,
I grew up in a time when homosexuality in the UK was a criminal offence. I can’t help but think warmly of braver souls than me who took a hit for that community – sometimes just accidental heroes, sometimes taking a stand – being outed, going to court, losing careers and jobs, getting prison sentences, whatever – and made life easier for the following generations.
Any man in a dress – gay or not – would have been lumped in as ‘one of them’ since it was all obviously immoral, corrupting behaviour that society at large were supposed to disapprove of.
But the times they were a changing, and eventually, imperfect though it was, a law was passed to decriminalise homosexuality, and almost accidently cd’ers and trans got relief too.
I think that shouldn’t be forgotten when holding this debate.
Marti xxx
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I don’t believe being under the umbrella of the LBGTQ+ community has much to do with it. Simply put in the “straight” world women are attracted to men and men to women. When we dress as women its only natural for “straight” people to view us as doing it to attract a man, therefore we must be gay. Its just their ignorance of the alt communities spectrum.
Thank you, you saved e a lot of typing. DITTO.
I find it hilarious when I see people throwing a tantrum and stomping their feet over being placed into a category. News flash: this is what humans do. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like it. It doesn’t matter if you agree. People are going to make assumptions about you because that’s what people do.
People do seem to assume CDs are gay or whatever. Yep. As long as CDs stay closeted, society will define them as it pleases.
Some of us tried to make things better for you. Some of us tried to speak for those of you who wouldn’t speak for yourselves.
Blame the alphabet soup if you want, but I don’t see anyone else standing up for your rights…not even you.
A wealth of fresh air!
My right to self-identify is just a new thing under my Human Rights Code. Hasn’t even been around for 5 years yet. It’s a wonderful start.
However, since Rach is stoking my brain (a very good thing!), I would like to offer this speculative assumption:
Since we crossdressers are mostly white and perhaps more importantly middle-class (as far as I can tell), we’ll be the last to get any sympathy or support from anyone from a social/acceptance point-of-view and rightly so. Any inclusion laws that are there to protect us are totally useless. However, I am encouraged by our youth who want and are now demanding a new paradigm! (Guess I won’t be getting that gas-guzzling muscle-car now. Damn!).
When I go out en femme I truly am all ALONE! And it’s very FRIGHTENING!!
So Rach makes a good point that if we want any rights, we have to get them ourselves.
Um, I’ll stop now…
🚗 Barb
I appreciate your response. One thing I wonder though is what makes you think most CDs are middle class white men? I can assure you that this is not the case.
Perhaps middle class white folks come to CDH more than others, but CDs come in all races and social classes.
OK, fair point.
However, the evidence that I have is purely anecdotal base only on the photos I see on CDH. I have no other knowledge of crossdressers from other sources other than CDH since I haven’t explored other sites in any detail. I like it here and I see no reason to “moonlight”.
I hope we’re good?
xo Barb
Of course we’re good! This type of dialogue/discussion is why I come here.
On a side note, I see a lot of CDH members that haven’t connected with our community anywhere but here. I think many would be surprised at the ideas and attitudes the rest of the community represents. I think it would be eye-opening.
Hi Rach,
I think one reason many here haven’t been ‘out in the world’ is that, like me, they’re relatively new to it all, and with a fair dose of uncertainty and confusion. They probably only ‘know’ other cd’ers through this site, so it’s not surprising there’s a limited knowledge of the wider scene. If you live away from the big cities, the chances of there being a friendly venue or scene to meet others anywhere near is remote. And its probably quite intimidating anyway
But back to a previous point you made. Of course cd’ing permeates all walks of life, and crosses lines of colour, cultures, and affluence. I don’t think anyone would doubt that. But cdh does seem to be, as Barb suggested, well represented by white affluent people.
Marti xxx
I think this is one of the biggest complaints about the latest Dave Chappelle special, that he seems to have ignored all the people of colour in the transgender bucket. Whether all crossdressers are in that bucket is still being debated I realize. Seems to be a common problem of visibility regardless.
— Abbie 🥰
Hi Rach
I would go one better and say I absolutely hate this category or label systems. I don’t give a monkey ‘s bum what anyone what’s to be or indeed are. As we are the same person that was born and registered at birth then under the constitutions of our countries we should have full rights as a legitimate citizen regardless of our sexual preferences or dressing behaviors. I’m a CD, nothing else, and like many on here I don’t live in a closet either. The question reflects a public perception of Cd’s and if what they perceive is distorted under that umbrella. I certainly don’t knock the LGBT +they do tremendous work, and I support many of their activities, through the pen, cash donations and marches, etc, so I hope my small contribution helps.
Amanda xx
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Hi Amanda, I appreciate this discussion topic, and hope that one day there is more public dialogue, awareness and understanding regarding the same. I very lightly touched upon my personal views regarding this topic in my intro. I feel as the LGBTQIA+ acronym continues to grow, we can gradually accept 2 realities. One, that gender identity (not to be confused with biological gender) and sexual orientation are independent variables. The two, can at times be associated but it is not an established relationship. Which bring me to my second point, I feel that, as an evolved human race we tend to label and categorize things in order to bring some form of universal understanding to them. When it comes to gender identity and sexual orientation, I feel that we cannot, not should we try to, create a template for individuals to follow. I feel that it leads to a society that is not true to itself. I believe a lot of us joined this site because, at some point in our lives, we came to a realization that we did not fit into the framework that we were provided. I think there are a lot more people who barely fit the framework themselves and spend a good amount of their lives trying to do so. Maybe get rid of the framework and allow individuals to progress naturally in those aspects, would be overall more beneficial for human progress. (These are just my personal views. It was not intended to disrespect anyone and I am open to other peoples views too. I’m just trying to understand it all myself).
Hi Amanda
To be honest I don’t really care what people think about my sexual orientation, why should I? If anybody asks I’m happy to tell them women float my boat.
Its 2021, I think your assertion that many people think we are, or must be gay, and that we are instantly perceived as being gay, are becoming less truisms with each passing year. The subject is being treated a lot more sensitively on TV and film nowadays, and the younger generation is a lot more accepting of ‘just being yourself, doing nobody else harm’ ethos.
Yes in the second half of the 20th century it was the case. Effeminate men and transvestites were predominantly portrayed as gay in TV, film, media. Personally I think the main reason for this was gay men were not afraid to show this side of themselves. So the media, TV, film see gay men openly cross dressing etc and the link was made! Meanwhile the heterosexual men predominantly hid in the closet from fear of being ridiculed, not a real man! So the cross dressing=gay link was made in society, I believe that link is fading into history. A lot more androgynous clothing nowadays, makeup ranges for men, hair removal products for men etc etc, the lines are blurring and that can only be good for us to openly express ourselves.
The LGBT+ community in my view is all about helping each and every person be able to be who they want to be without fear of being judged, ridiculed, persecuted.
I am happy to be associated with this LGBT+umbrella term.
Happy not to be associated with people who would pre judge me and hold their judgement against me without knowing me.
Just my ramblings, no offence I hope.
❤️Bianca
Well put Bianca. Also, you mentioned hair removal for straight guys… makeup is also slowly getting normalized for “regular” men as well. Alex Rodriguez came out with his own line of makeup recently and there are many others. See this link for a GQ article from 2019: https://www.gq.com/story/beginners-guide-to-makeup-for-men
The lines are getting very blurry already. Wondering if we’ll even be considered crossdressers in 50 years.
— Abbie 🥰
” Wondering if we’ll even be considered crossdressers in 50 years”
Abbie….most of us on here will need a medium to learn of that!!!
Grace xx
LOL Grace…
I was trying to not bring that up. I’m sure I’ll need one.
— Abbie 🥰
Hi Bianca,
Gosh you haven’t offended anyone, and that was a great reply too enjoyed reading it.
Lol Amanda xx
I’m sure others are or will be saying this but our sex at birth is different from our sexuality which is different from our gender. Transgender people can be any sexuality, though I understand that people who aren’t familiar with the letters probably think everyone involved is gay.
I think being under the umbrella can be helpful, there is a growing awareness of what that means, my kids knew a lot more about it than I did until a few months ago. Having said that, this site has a nice mix of people who believe they are “just crossdressers” and those that believe they are “more than just crossdressers”, I don’t mean to offend with those terms but I think everyone knows what they mean. I don’t think we as a group can answer this question definitively since some of use are clearly in the LGBTQ+2S etc. letters and some believe they aren’t. I’m not sure how the general public, that don’t understand the difference between Gay and Trans or Queer, are going to understand the difference between the two crossdresser groups. Would they even care? I’m guessing they wouldn’t.
ps. I know I’m one of the people that said recently that personally I think everyone who crossdresses is on the trans spectrum. I just want to make extra clear that I know I’m not a professional in this space, these are just my opinions based on a fair amount of reading of other non-professionals and some licensed therapists. Science will eventually sort out the truth but it will take time.
I think this is a super interesting topic though and love hearing everyone else’s opinions!
— Abbie 🥰
I love all the different versions of the current soup we have in here:
- LGBTQ+2S
- LGBTQIAPK+
- LGBTQIA+
- LGBT+
- LGBTQA+n
Oh My My…I have a vision of a crossdresser under an umbrella, holding some baggage, confused about the labels and walking into a minefield. What could possibly go wrong!
Some very salient points here and I respect each and every one. We may be diverse but we are one.
I have rolled up the umbrella, emptied the suitcase into my wardrobe, thrown away the labels and circumnavigated the minefield. This is me and if you want to ask, ask.
I still hold onto the fact that I am able to live my life in peace and acceptance and owe a debt of gratitude to my family, friends, colleagues and all that I meet who do not question and accept me for who I am.
This is how it should be but with the media anti activity and factionalism of the supposed support groups is likely to destroy this. I worry about our future.
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Lulu,I don’t know if you’re accurate about drag queens being mostly gay; you might be. Nonetheless, our lack of outrageousness, may be why ordinary CDs are ridiculed, disrespected, and undervalued. You know what is said about many idiosyncrasies; we should “own them!” Courtney Act, I believe, is viewed as a drag queen. In my opinion, Courtney’s look is pretty close to mainstream glamour; she looks feminine with a little edge. Singer Conchita Wurst presents as totally feminine with a full beard. These two people certainly own their identities.
If I am a somewhat typical CD, and I believe I am, I really just want to blend in, do my thing, and enjoy clothing that makes me feel comfortable and confident. If I wanted to stand out, I might be viewed as a “performer” and accepted for the artifice. Some just can’t accept that there is anything normal about men wearing clothing designed for a female. Ironically, other than a bra, I can’t think of any feminine garment that is not equally adaptable to the male physique. The women’s jeans I generally wear fit my body better than most men’s jeans I’ve ever worn. I find high heeled pumps, sandals, and boots extraordinarily comfortable even when on my feet for long periods. Suffice to say, it’s likely that some men even find a bra very helpful in supporting their man-breasts.
Maybe we don’t belong to the alphabet community, but what’s the harm? We haven’t done too well at being understood and there is something to be said for the “why” of it all!
FAM
My experience is that the LGBTQ+ forums are amazing places f9r us to have conversations about every aspect of cross dressing and the common misconceptions.
In so-called “Gay bars”, I’ve talked with people from all walks – Gay, trans, cis (or “ordinary but curious”), drag queens, sister CDs, you categorise ’em, I talk to ’em!
Many people just accept one at face value – they like what I look like and say so. As a conversation starter, it would be rather full on in a different context, but I get that not many CDs are as open as I am, and I love that people feel they can just come up to me and talk directly, and ask the questions.
That’s one more educated person… tick 😊😍😍😍😍
From where I am, it’s great to be + or whatever – I would rather be included in stuff than seen as a wierdo outsider.
Although actually, I’m happy with wierdo too.
Just don’t call me an ambulance…
Love Laura
Hi Amanda
I believe we are totally lost under the LGBT + community, it doesn’t represent us at all. I am
quite happy and proud to be described as a CD. A lot of the confusion exists because people who I would describe as straight drab, don’t understand us and don’t want to. They just view us as queers who they put under the LGBT+ Banner, the only people who know is us and the LGBT+ community.
Love Sarah
xx
I personally think the LGBT community doesn’t understand us any better than the so called “normal people”
I have gone to gay bars for lack of any other place to go and be accepted and my experience was less than enjoyable. Did not care to be groped by gay men.
I had thought about going to a lesbian bar but was told I may get beat up there.
Finding places to go for just us gurls I don’t think is out there.
I’m not sure I understand. Are you gay or lesbian? If not, why would you go to a gay or lesbian bar trying to fit in?
No I’m not gay and I wasn’t going there to fit in. It’s just that they are the only places in town that will accept gurls like us.
That’s why I don’t like to be associated with the LBG community.
So, a straight person goes to a gay bar and has a bad experience. Shocker, right? Then said straight person decides the LGBT+ community is to blame?
I don’t think you know what it means to be associated with our community. If not for the trans community making things better on your behalf, where would CDs be? While being a CD is still taboo in most places, it’s certainly gotten better since the community became active and visible. If not for the community, there would be nowhere you could go. If you don’t think the community represented you, you are mistaken.
If you wanted to try a bar, perhaps a trans bar would be more appropriate. Even better would be a support group meeting at a Pride Center. But a gay bar? C’mon.
Lacy, I am so sorry you had bad experiences of the community, but, as my experiences show (and I have written about them extensively in the Personal Cross Dressing stories forum), it can be exactly the opposite.
Either I must be really lucky, and pray that luck continues this weekend, as I’m going to a city and venues I’ve never been to before, or there are many places where the community are welcoming.
Love Laura
I do know where you are coming from Lacy. I have been to some gay clubs, and had an absolutely awesome time. But I have been to some of the very same clubs, albeit, on a different night, and been ostracized and made to feel very uncomfortable by the other patrons for simply presenting as femme, and not male.
Some of those times have been on the local D/s, or leather night and appearantly I violated some sacred rule by being dressed moderately tame in comparison. I have also had very similar experiences in Lesbian clubs, both good and bad.
I would guess it all comes down to how polar a certain group can become if allowed to set some unwritten standard for an establishment, and the management allowing it to happen because of profit incentive? Who knows.
Now, I could fit under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, but I would have to remove almost everything I have struggled for through my life. If you take away my stockings and garter belts, bras, panties, skirts, shoes, blouses, makeup, wigs, jewelry, mannerisms, and self-perception, I guess you would be left with your average gay male with a very small, limited wardrobe and no undies.
But, that’s just me. Sometimes I fit in with the festivities, sometimes not. That’s life in the big city. But I don’t let that determine my happiness, that is my responsibility.
Anyway, I see it as their loss for the indifference with which they treat so many others.
PaulaF
PS. Looking at that list, maybe I AM a material girl.
Hi
My experience, albeit something I am engaged in more recently is that the LGBT+ community is a broad church and one that is welcoming of people like us who have a complex relationship to our identities. Whilst perceptions matter we should not feel that being part of the LGBT+ community means we are gay, though I guess the CD community is itself a broad one when it comes to our sexualities. I have found the LGBT+ community to be welcoming allies and people who experience many versions of exclusion/misunderstanding and worse. Of course there are elements who wil have narrow agendas but for a community that is quite on its own then I think the LGBT+ community is a space where much can be gained
Thanks for prompting this discussion
JoannaHi Joanna,
Thank you for your beautiful reply and for participating, it’s very much appreciated.
Lol Amanda xx
Let’s try putting it a slightly different way. For example, I belong to several ‘affinity’ groups, both in person and on-line. For each of those groups, we all have one and pretty much exactly only one thing that is definitely in common. We happen to like whatever it is that that group is promoting, be it coin collecting, afghan hound owners, tiddlywink enthusiasts, whatever. (disclaimer-I belong to none of those examples)
If in any one of those groups, one (or more) members started expounding on their religious or political or whatever personal beliefs that have little or nothing to do with the purpose of the group and they were allowed to continue challenging other members based on these beliefs, those groups would more than likely fall apart and the rest of us former members would be upset, but forced to retire to within their own little cocoon, perhaps to try again somewhere else.
It isn’t that the groups themselves are bad, it’s that the majority can easily be led astray by a very vocal minority, whose – if you think seriously about it – major intent really seems to be to dominate and by their actions eventually destroy the group, whether they admit it or not, and they certainly wouldn’t accept any blame for the demise.
The responsibility (at least to me) of any good member of a group is to do whatever one can to maintain and make sure others keep to the focus of the group…AND to continue to encourage others who share that particular interest – regardless of the depth to which they share – that they are always welcome to join and be an active part regardless of their other beliefs. And to encourage those who don’t to perhaps start their own group.
My concept of the LGBTQ+ groups was that they initially wanted to be inclusive as much as possible. It would seem though that the group(s) got large enough that some members seem to have forgotten that original purpose.
And that’s one of the real problems of humanity in general – we want to belong, and yet for many there seems to be a hidden desire that once accepted, that if anyone else is accepted after that, the group just isn’t quite as exclusive anymore. When a group becomes open to anyone, it can be perceived as little more than just a group of humans in general.
And sad to say I’ve seen this all since at least high school (and maybe even before) which was too many years ago now.
Hi ChloeC,
Fabulous reply sweetie, thank you, beautiful written and interesting.
Lol Amanda xx
Hmmm…… Why all the tags? Lesbian, gay, trans, Bi. Etc…and why are you worried about it? When you are Dressed & just wanting to be a Lady, WOMAN is enough for me!! And Someone’s Sexual desires are nobody else’s business!! Just Saying… Bigg Huggs Ladies…
I’m not sure how wrong the “label” is. Being a man, resenting themselves as a women, isn’t normal, except to us CD’s. Man to women. Masculine to feminine. That’s like the definition of LGBT.
All lumped into one… I’m OK with that. Being part of the LGBT community isn’t a bad thing. Even if it’s just by association.Dear Amanda,
I went to a LGBT birthday bash in November. I was invited by a lesbian couple who are really good friends. I met another couple there and have had two months of shopping trips and bingo. at last I have a voice, well several actualy 🙂
I still have never met another cross dresser in the flesh which is nothing to do with the alphabet soup so I will not be going to another event.
I will be going to bingo with the ‘girls’ New Years Day. I don’t know what to wear? I have an image to maintain you know.
Thanks to Caitlin Jenner and other trans icons, the word transgender has become universal vocabulary. Not so with crossdressers. To the general public, the array within the CD community remains invisible and voiceless. We do not have a public figure to teach the world that we are an inclusive community of straight, gay and pansexual, and that we as individuals may identify as male, female or transgender.
Unfortunately, if the CD community bonds at all, it is mostly as a scattered online community, Even in big cities, we seldom organize well enough to have our own physical places to meet and celebrate our diversity,
We do not fit comfortably under the LGBT+ umbrella. We need to construct our own umbrella. We have not yet planted that big umbrella in the ground.-
LGBT+ community has done a lot for rights in the workplace and protections from discrimination.
Some of us are under both the CD umbrella and the LGBT+ umbrella. Some of us are only under the CD umbrella. There are many assumptions about CDs by the general public. There are very many variations of CD and can not be lumped into one general CD category.
It would be wonderful if the general public understood that there are many variations and not make the assumptions they make. It is the unknown that generally scares people and they make up their own narrative.
Hi Lisa,
Some great points there, although I don’t take anything away from the LGBT community and the ground and support they provide and gained, the general consensus perceived within sections of the public , no doubt fueled by the social media outlets tend to lump us into the category of “gay”. There are now so many minority groups and labels that most just look at the first four letters, therefore automatically, wrongly associate us as gay or a female crossdresser as a lesbian.
Amanda xx
I’m a huge believer in finding the middle path. It really does seem like everyone is yelling so much that no one is actually listening anymore. “Can’t we all just get along” is something I often say to myself but I think on these kinds of things there is a certain ferocity required to escape the norms of the day which was a very negative place recently and still is really. It’s a hard pill to swallow sometimes to lay down your sword and hope the other side will do the same. I’m very much in favour of everyone coming back to the table to talk sensibly though. It seems like we’re ready as a group, how do we get that silent majority to speak up? Engaging the other side does seem like a lost cause at this point.
Wondering if the silent majority is silent because they are primarily made up of tolerant people so they are just tolerating the fighting too?
— Abbie 🥰
Hi Lisa,
“Woke” has itself turned into a word to use when slinging mud. I would honestly prefer you not to use the word unless you very clearly define it not to mean an insult – because in my view, that’s exactly how it’s used these days.
As usual, I recommend wiki for viewing a basic history of the term ‘woke’: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woke
Marti xxx
Haha…you devil!!!….
….with fries 😂😂🙏
Steph…firstly, I have missed you like mad on here….
Secondly …can I sign up for your label free society….
Huggs, grace xx
Hi Stephanie,
Exactly what I said to Rach on here, I don’t give a monkey’s bum about categories or labels, I’m just a crossdresser which ever way you want to view it, or play it.
Lol Amanda xx
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