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Hi Ladies,
If you’ve heard this before I apologize in advance. I have been going out in “hybrid mode” for a bit now, but yesterday seemed a bit more adventurous and stressful for some reason.
“Hybrid mode”, which is my term for me is going out wearing blue faded girl jeans, very skinny jeans, hose of some type, in this case the very low cut bootie socks so it looks like I’m not wearing any, my very cute and femme black loafers (just love them), a red (male) shirt, with black accents and my black denim jacket. Underneath I wear panties and a camisole. It felt (and I thought) looked so good.
My SO and I went around town running errands all afternoon. Before leaving the house I was a bit apprehensive, wondering what she might say or do, and at times I was “hiding” behind furniture when in the same room. At one point I just thought “screw it”, and didn’t bother trying to hide. I know she noticed how I was dressed, but again did not say anything. (surprising).
While out we went to a couple of stores, at each one I was really getting some second looks. Not necessarily of the curious or wonderment kind, but more of a finicky frowning kind of looks. Then we browsed our local downtown, up and down a few blocks. Again, lots of the same kind of looks. I found myself “hurrying us” along, for no good apparent reason. My SO had to have noticed this. I was feeling several mixed emotions. Thrilled and feeling good about my attire, but very apprehensive of it at the same time. We ventured to our local grocery store as well, and low and behold ran into a mutual acquaintance I had not seen in a few years actually. I was so wrapped up in saying hello and trying to remember her name (I did), that I didn’t stop to think about what she may have thought of my attire. Not much was said, but while in the store I was getting more and more looks, to the point I felt like everyone was looking!
Made it home safely of course, but it was exhausting. I changed quickly, when we got home. Timing on this is critical, as I do not want my SO catching me getting out of a cammie and panties, but like I said by the end of it all I was wiped out!
Don’t know what to do at this point! I was almost wanting SO to say something, she did not, I wanted to bring up the subject (that is out there so glaringly), but either didn’t have the courage to, or completely know how to bring it up.
What’s a girl to do?!!!!
It wasn’t just you who was going around town your partner would of caught onto or felt the vibe I think you need to confront this and find out where both of you are coming from and fix a firm plan for yourselves. But get some other views from some of the members here flag this topic up again and get some advice remember were all in this together. Deborah x
Hi Rebekka! Well…that was some adventure you had. It would seem that something is off about your day out. Women are really good at spotting odd behavior. It might be your make-up, your walk, your over-all presentation, wig not suitable for your face shape and style. All these things are an art to be perfected. Your outfit does not sound unusual for girls…..maybe you were dressed young but are older for that style? I think your wife knows all about you and is just ignoring it. I mean….she did go out in public with you. You mentioned that you noticed a lot of other people looking at you. This is a dead give away….looking around to see who is following you makes you very suspicious looking and acting. It is a wonder, security didn’t start following you. No criticism intended here…….hopes this gives you other ideas of what to look for. I do salute you…..a very gutsy move for first time out (?)?
Whatever…..have fun…that is what life is all about.
Love
Veronica
Hi Dame Veronica!
Thanks for the reply. No offense taken in anyway! I should have been more descriptive. From the waist down, it’s all femme, from the waist up, all male. No make up, wig, etc., just me in my male mode. That is what partially draws the attention too!
I am “older” (hate to use that term), and perhaps dressed a bit “young”, but it felt (and I thought looked), good. But thanks again, appreciate the feedback!
I go out most days in hybrid mode. I just love my short cutoff jeans with an aloha shirt, flip flops, femme eyewear , and Panama hat. Mascara for sure and neutral toenail polish. Or regular shorts with a femme T-shirt. I continue to perfect my carriage and how I present. Of course, it is a bit different here in gay Hillcrest….it’s why I moved here.
Your outfit sounded great. And I agree your overall anxiety is what caused the reactions to you. Relax and enjoy yourself.
I regularly intermix my wardrobe with clothing of both genders. And even when I do dress all feminine, I do not wear a wig, rarely use make up. At first, as people may have looked, I assume it was with negative feelings, but as I interacted with others, I learned differently. Most did not care, and if they did, they generally complimented me for my style or courage. If they thought negative of me, they kept it to themselves.
MacKenzie Alexandra
Hey gurl,
Thanks for sharing that experience! Be cared what you wish for…
I recently said f it and took off for the weekend with long acrylic nails, and exchanged my wallet for a red purse. Then drove 5 hours away from home. During the drive I came to terms with the fact that I don’t give a shit what other people think. I had nails and a purse with everything else male attire.
Checking into the hotel I BS’d with the valet guy for a few minutes while I slung my red purse over my shoulder with my amazing lilac nails (public photo in my profile). He didn’t seem to notice. Of course there was a line checking into the hotel… Las Vegas strip. Got some glances, but that’s all. People checkin out my look. When I finally got to the counter the other person checking in next to me couldn’t stop staring at me. I just ignored her. She probably wasn’t used to seeing that sort of thing. In a way I was doing her a service.
Anyways… That was my first time doing anything like that. It was exhilarating coming to the realization that I didn’t care what people thought hours before I checked into the hotel. I had a clear mind, and I was ready to confront any haters. I was in control.
Back to my original point of being careful what you wish for… I didn’t anticipate what happened to me after that weekend… part of the high of dressing up went away. For me anyways. I am much happier to be liberated from so much crippling fear, but I lost some of the enjoyment that must have accompanied it. I’m still processing it all.
I bet your outfit was fab btw! Those faded skinny jeans are hot! With those shoes too! You are riding the line with that outfit. What’s next?
Victoria
Hi Victoria (I love that name by the way)
What a great story! Now I really want to get a nice bag, and the next step will either be tall boots, or some black pumps.
Was out last night with my SO in my usual garb, she noticed and commented on the shoes, but I saw some great (ladies) rockin’ that skinny jean and black pumps look! Loved it!
Your story makes me want to go to Vegas! 🙂
What you describe, the high and low feelings, happen to me often in many situations. Like if I go out and have a great time one evening (doing whatever), and the next evening is flat, I feel a sadness, depressed almost. Same happens to me too if I’m dressed and “please” myself, don’t want or mean to be graphic, I feel a great sense of guilt and have to jump right out of whatever I’m wearing.
Keep the great stories coming!
Love to you, Victoria!
Good morning Gurls!
I always feel compelled to start with a disclaimer. If this ever gets old. Tell me tto “shut pu!” CDH is my only outlet at this point.
Out this morning in my newest skinny jeans! These are the style that have the little zippers at the ankles. They look and feel so delicious, especially with my little loafers. Everything matches today, panties to cammie, to shirt and jewelry, which is also non gender specific.
Sitting at my neighborhood coffee shop, watching the people stream in and out. Staff here is pretty young and hip, and they seem to like my outfit. Patrons are on the more conservative side. But as i lay in bed this morning thinking about what i would wear today i became excited!
This outfit is bound to stir comments from my SO. I am realizing I’m waiting for my outfit to speak (to my SO) for me, because i am too afraid to bring up the subject myself.
I feel great now however. Im going to go take a stroll down the street, then head back home.
Hope you all have a fabulous day!
R
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Rebekka it appears there are 2 things here, your hybrid mode and your SO’s reaction.
First the easy one… hybrid mode. Heck yea girl! I spend as much time in a feminized mixture of attire as I do strictly malenor female. I actually find it the most comfortable and “natural” presentation of ME. It does however get the biggest reaction from the public as they don’t know what to do with a non conforming variable. When fully male or female even if not “passable” they know how to treat us. Its the hybrid non conformity that confuses and scares them. I am me and don’t really care if others like my choices or not.
Now number 2… your SO. They know what your doing and have very finely tuned attention to our presentation due to what and who we are. Sounds like your being allowed to figure who and what your desires and limits are without someone else being the bad guy and saying no.
Good luck!
🍷C
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