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After finally coming out to my macho biker brother, I got a big surprise. Once again fear and shame stopped me and it is all just in my own head. I was freaking out and got sick trying to tell him and then.
He said “I’v been watching you make comments and doing things for years and I paid attention and remembered. Because you always ended it with a joke, I just let it go.
Then, he said something real special. He said “How did you deal with the pain of hiding it and not being you all theses years? You got to be you.” OMG; I did not see that coming. This is better than a getting an out of jail free card.
Then he said we need to go to the old country court house where we grew up, sit on a bench in the yard; and, he would be there to have my back. Just the kind of thing a biker would say.
Instead of getting thumped, I got floored. How cool is that?
That’s lovely – us bikers have a scary reputation but some of the butchest, tattoo covered, cut wearing, you wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of bikers I’ve met are also the biggest softies that have raised the most for charity (usually kids hospices) and stick a baby in their arms and they would just melt!
(We are more laid back bikers and not into the whole cut / chapter thing – we just like to ride and eat cake!!)
Glad it went well and you had the courage to open up to your brother.
That is amazing!!! It takes a lot to tell the people you love about your other side. Good for you for be about to work up the courage to tell some one about your self. Most of us understand how difficult it is to tell some one, I had to be extremely drunk to tell my best friend because I was so nervous of loosing that friend. So TRUST me I understand how hard it is. Congrats girl! it must be such a relief
That’s wonderful Christine!
It must be such a relief to get that level of love and support after all the time you spent torturing yourself.
After reading so many other experiences here at CDH two of my biggest takeaways are that we are always our own worst enemies and so many people will surprise you with their depth. Of course their are exceptions, but of such a small percentage as to be of little consequence.
I’m very happy for you.
Great for you Christine. Like what’s already been said, sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Our own fear of the worst holds us back. I know, about 2 weeks ago I told one of my 4 brothers. Basicly what he said it is what it is. He seemed to indicate that if CD makes me happy so be it. It may help in my family that my nephew came out as transgender about 2 years ago so we have time to process and some of us have accepted it already.
Sandy
Christine, that is an awesome feeling to hear words like that, isn’t it? The day my sister finally met her ‘new’ sister, during our conversations and confessions about my lifestyle, she made the statement that “Now, all those things you said and did over the years add up.”
I never thought she paid much attention to what I had said and let slip in the past. But she did, and as we sat talking, I could see her weighing my words and putting 2 and 2 together, and then it was like a light came on. She was actually floored, instead of me, when she understood that I had kept on dressing after her group of Barbie friends had broken up when we were kids, and there was no need for me to keep dressing to be a part of that group. (long story if you want to hear it, just PM me. Parts of it is in a couple of past threads too.)
It is always a very special time between siblings when THE admission/confession is made by one and accepted by the other without reservation. That shows how strong familial love can be, no matter how much the both of you may have argued and butted heads as children.
PaulaF
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Thank you very much and to everyone that has replied to this. As I have come out to all my family, I keep hearing it was not a surprise. The shame is gone and it was my fault it took so long. I had to hide it, in my day, or be removed from my family and the fear of being arrested. It is not like that now for most of us. Hope you do not wait as long as I did. Dont let others write your story.
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