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I have been wrestling with what to call this subject/post. The only thing I could come up with was the title I placed on it.
So my fiancé and I have been struggling with and talking about acceptance of my CD. She totally doesn’t understand it at all. I feel I have totally ruined our relationship because I told her about it. Telling her was quite possibly the worst thing I could have ever done.
She’s all pissed and I’m so distraught and confused and conflicted that I can’t even get my pint across to her about how I feel. The whole thing is a horrid mess. She’s crying, I’m crying, everyone is crying. She has no one to talk to, I only have you girls to talk to and that’s not in real time. Jesus christ all mighty this is a mess. All because I chose to tell the truth. Sweet Jesus if I could go back in time and make this decision over I would have never told her.
I now have to swallow the truth and tuck it way down deep inside where I used to keep it and ignore it like I used to do. I have to suppress what I think is a wonderful part of me because the woman I love doesn’t like it. Such is the life of a CD. This is what we do because no one accepts us. I love myself as I am. She doesn’t. I love her and therefore I have to man up and not be the bitch I can be at times. So suck it up buttercup! Man up and swallow that pain like a real man!
I’m gonna save my relationship despite the personal sacrifice. That’s what we do for our loved ones!
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