- January 4, 2016 at 10:19 pm #15607
The plan was to go to Christmas town at Busch Gardens! But life has a funny habit of not following our plans. Originally it was supposed to be me, my daughter and my niece and her daughter going, and we were going to take my car. But then my sister and her son decided they wanted to go, so we became too large a group to fit into one vehicle. This would prove to be a fateful decision in more ways than one.
On the way down my daughter noticed my nail polish on my hands and said “you know you can see that your wearing nail polish” and I said “well no one has said anything to me.” Nothing more was said-my kids know about my crossdressing but not about my further gender issues. So we drove on toward the park and were just getting close when her phone rang and we got heart stopping news in a call from my sister! Their car had been hit from behind in an accident on the highway and my niece-30 weeks pregnant-was holding her stomach which was cramping. My daughter took charge and told my sister to call the police then called my niece’s husband to inform him then we tried to track down where the accident occurred and how to get there to help. We found out the police were on scene and the rescue squad was on the way but that it did not appear that there were any injuries thank goodness. Still out of abundance of caution, my niece was taken to the ER for observation to be sure the baby was not harmed at all. Nor her three year old daughter that was in the car. Upon arriving at the hospital we were able to go and stay with her in the ER treatment room.
It was there as we were talking that fate intervened. A puzzled look came upon my nieces face and she said “I just noticed-why are you wearing nail polish?” Panic went through my mind…and she continued saying “Is it to keep you from biting your nails?” This was a moment of truth. I had been wanting to open up to her about my transgender feelings but had each time pulled back from saying anything. Would this be another time like that? For some reason, I felt like I could not lie about it so I said “That’s part of it…” She continued asking me about them as her curiosity was piqued. She wasn’t mocking in any way-just genuinely curious as to why I was wearing nail polish. She asked me if my daughter had done it-my daughter said no but said nothing else. Then she asked if it had been something to do with her 3 yr old daughter and I said no. We let it go for a bit then when it was just she and I in the room for a bit, she returned to the topic saying “I REALLY want to know why you have nail polish on.” Taking a deep breath I said “well I have something to tell you but I ‘m not sure how you’ll take it.” The puzzled look remained on her face and then she said “Uncle K….are you coming out to me?” My response was “sort of but not the way you are thinking.” Again the puzzled look then she said “Are you trans?” This was it-last chance to back out but I went forward and said “Yes” and explained the crossdressing and the gender confusion. She was quite accepting and understanding. She said it would take her a little bit to completely process it since she had known me her whole life and had not had any inkling about this. She asked me if I had a name and I explained about Cynthia being what her mom (my sister) had called me when she dressed me when I was little and pretended I was her little sister.(of which I have no conscious memory of it but apparently was on and off from age 4-7). I told her that no one knew that Cynthia had grown up! She smiled and said “That’s so cool!” Then she reassured me that she would not tell anyone-even my kids. I told her she could tell her husband as I didn’t want to be a source of friction in her marriage. She thanked me and he now knows as well and is fine with me.
So now I have someone LOCAL to talk to about myself (face to face) without having to wait for my counseling appointments. She has even said she may join CDH as a member to learn more about CD/TG issues to be able to better support me as I figure out my path. So my words of advice are to be willing to step out in faith with a female relative who you think might be accepting or at least tolerant. While I cannot guarantee you will have the success I had, it makes each time you tell someone about your true self a bit easier than the last! It feels as though a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders as I know that regardless of how others take the news. I know at least one relative will always love me-ALL of me- for who I am, not who they thought I was.
I hope this has been helpful to at least one person who might be considering opening up to someone close to them. If I could do this, you can too! And know that I and the entire CDH Community stand right with you-ready to love and support you as you progress toward whatever your goal is. Please let me know how it goes if you do decide to tell someone!
- January 8, 2016 at 8:50 am #15797Anonymous
Cynthia This is a wonderful heart warming story. Our stories are a lot alike. It is great that you have your niece to talk to having her be so supportive of your journey. Thank You for this storie. It has truly warmed my heart. Hugs
- January 9, 2016 at 1:05 am #15821
Thanks for the kind words Brianna! I am very excited to have someone else local to me to be able to talk to!
- January 14, 2016 at 4:24 pm #16113
Cookie-thanks for the kind words! It DOES make a huge difference to have someone to hug in person!
- January 14, 2016 at 4:25 am #16103
You have such a special relationship, cherish it with all your heart hun. Having a physical body to relate to is so heart warming.
Cookie JessicaLynn (Irish) 🙂 🙂 <3
- January 16, 2016 at 4:27 pm #16209Holly GLady
Wow Cynthia, I’m so happy for you! I know what a relief that must have been for you and what a help that will be moving forward. I know how much just talking to the girls here has helped me through some rough times, but to have someone you interact with regularly, especially family, now truly open and understanding will be such a blessing for you.
- January 16, 2016 at 9:07 pm #16215Darcy BainsleyLady
It is always nice to have a female family member on your side.
When I came out to my daughter, she just looked at me and said “Well DUH Dad, we used to sew blankets and other stuff together!” Yes I confess I taught her how to sew. My daughter in-law was so excited, we went shopping together, then she brought over shoes for me to try on. Now we have regular days for “girl time” She is the first (and only) family member I dressed for. Modeled the dresses I bought – Just a fantastic time.
I hope you can build a similar relationship with your niece.
- January 22, 2016 at 7:17 am #16555
Thanks DArcy! It does feel fantastic to have someone local and family to talk to. Although we have not yet had a chance to have an in-depth discussion about it, she has been nothing but supportive of me and my feelings so I am so relived that no matter what else happens at least i have SOME family that accepts me for who truly am inside!
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