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    Topic
  • #659869
    Michelle Dee
    Participant
    Registered On: July 2, 2022
    Topics: 1
    Replies: 1
    Has thanked: 6 times
    Been thanked: 18 times

    I was a member, then decided to just be a man and that lasted few months, now I’m back. Hit 50, almost died though I would stop with the crossdressing, be 100% there for family. Was going good and then as life comes at you , the stress piles up and i needed to get away for this realty. Michelle is my way to keep my wits.

    The problem i had before is that she got to controlling over me. I found my self at every free moment dressing. Taking big risk that could effect my family. I got rid of everything, deleted my account and photo and video of myself dressed.  Now i find my self longing to be Michelle. I caved the other day and found a piece about being her. Now I’m struggling, to be or not to be.   Hard to give up sometimes (someone) who is apart of you since 13.  I’m a better father and husband with out her but a mess on the inside.

Viewing 8 reply threads
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    • #660417
      Rachel Sometime
      Lady
      Registered On: February 23, 2018
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 19
      Has thanked: 27 times
      Been thanked: 34 times

      Hi Michelle, Being 50 I know that you have likely been married for quite a while and if you have not already told your wife i bet that she already has an idea of Michelle existence. You need to sit down and have a good talk with her and let her know how badly you need to bring Michelle out. Likely you can you will find a way to live part time as Michelle and part time in your male mode. And if your children are mostly grown up they will understand, as in todays world gender isues are much better understood and accepted. You obviously need to express your feminine side so come on out and TALK TO YOUR WIFE
      Best of luck and happy dressing always and may the force be always with you
      Rach

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #660005
      Michelle Dee
      Lady
      Registered On: July 2, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 1
      Has thanked: 6 times
      Been thanked: 18 times

      Thank you all. Coming out ,we’ll  that would  be hard because she would want to know why. And why I can’t stop. You understand but she won’t.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #659992
      Jane Mansfield
      Lady
      Registered On: December 27, 2020
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 303
      Has thanked: 546 times
      Been thanked: 1036 times

      Hi Michelle, a major event in your conscious self has tormented you since the age of 13. Purging your needs, but unable to let go.
      You have a difficult road and I can only wish you happiness with your decision what ever that is.
      You could open up to your family
      As I did,and hope you are comforted and accepted. Communication is the key.
      Best Wishes
      Jane

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #659975
      Tara Ryan
      Lady
      Registered On: April 20, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 512
      Has thanked: 1758 times
      Been thanked: 1908 times

      Hi Michelle,

      Welcome, it is lovely to meet you.

      I am sure lots of the girls on here can relate to all that you are saying, we all face self doubt in our life and question why we do things. I think it helps to be able to discuss these things with like minded people and who can help you make sense of things in your mind. Please reach out to others here, there is a lot of help available.

      I am happy to help if I can, please feel free to message me if you want to ask any questions or just to get things off your mind.

      Take care,

      Tara.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #659935
      Alice Underwire
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2019
      Topics: 94
      Replies: 5234
      Has thanked: 7393 times
      Been thanked: 13295 times

      Hi Michelle,

      Welcome back to CDH.  As others have said Michelle is an integral part of who you are.

      Alice

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #659894
      Paulette Parfois
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 17, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 454
      Has thanked: 1572 times
      Been thanked: 1631 times

      Hi Michelle, and welcome back! I understand your dilemma. Paulette for me is the best stress reliever I could ever hope for because when I am in “Paulette Mode” I am a completely different person, much more in tune with my feelings. The biggest thing I had to confront when I returned to crossdressing after a long absence was how to tell my wife and family because I decide NOT to keep my passion secret. I’m not going to say it was completely ‘smooth’, but after a few rocky moments it has worked itself out where my wife accepts Paulette in small doses. And quite frankly my sons (who are all older) are fine with Paulette. I try not overdo it, which is great because I suspect if I was Paulette full time, it would no longer be as much fun as it is getting made-up and putting on pretty clothes. I hope you work out the dynamics of your situation. It is never easy, but the rewards of being able to fully explore your feminine side are worth it! Take care. Hugs, Paulette

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #659890
      Christina Isme
      Lady
      Registered On: April 8, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 275
      Has thanked: 276 times
      Been thanked: 785 times

      This something you can’t just throw away I find it apart of me Christina I am full time girl 👧. When you have something that is a part of you there’s no throwing it away. The girls 👧 can help you just go into the chatt room and get to know everyone and welcome to the site

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #659888
      Stephanie Flowers
      Ambassador
      Registered On: June 26, 2017
      Topics: 35
      Replies: 6275
      Has thanked: 12261 times
      Been thanked: 12918 times

       

      Michelle.  trying to figure who we are is certainly a taunting task but now you are among friends. We understand how you must be feeling and here is a good place to explore and discover who you are.  With our families many here experience different paths and experienced hardships. Especially making  decisions about the what’s best for all.

      but all have a common goal to transform ourselves to be that lady and stay within our boundaries. Meet with them ,talk to and share each others experiences through this and spend your time with us and know your part of a caring community of support and acceptance for all , welcome

      Stephanie 🌹

       

       

       

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #659874
      Stephanie Bass
      Hostess
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 3727
      Has thanked: 53830 times
      Been thanked: 13124 times

      Hi Michelle welcome home girlfriend please rekindle old friendships and start new ones as the purge is a expensive lesson but like you said she is a part of you that seems never to go away.. We all have been thru these stages in our girly life as for staying in the closet or coming out to wife at least maybe not all family quite yet but be coming honest to your wife is a big step forward ..  I know its easy for me to say this as i came out to my wife just after we were married which was 39 years ago now she was a little aprehensive at first but came to love Stephanie as a great girlfriend and a wonderful part of hubby .. Good luck girlfriend and happy you are home again ,,

      Stephanie Bass

      4 users thanked author for this post.
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